Chapter 44
EBBA
“I’m fine, really. Please, go to practice.”
Fisher hovers over me like a protective mother hen. “You’ve been sick for three days now. You’re barely keeping anything down.”
“I’m fine,” I insist again. “I’ll text Sabrina and Whimsy to see if they can stay with me. This is Roland Garros. You have to be there to help Noah.”
Concern is etched into every feature of his face. “Ebba.” His voice wobbles slightly. “The last time I left you and you didn’t feel good…”
He doesn’t have to finish his sentence.
“Oh, Fisher.” I force myself to sit up and take his warm wrist between my fingers. “That’s not going to happen again. I’m just a little under the weather. This will pass. Besides, I’ve told you, it was wrong of me to put all that blame on you. You were doing your job.”
He cups my cheek, rubbing his thumb over my chin. “You matter more to me than my job.”
I put my hand over his. “I love you. I’ll be okay. I promise to call the girls.”
I can tell he still doesn’t want to leave me alone. “Okay,” he agrees with an aggravated sigh. “But I’m keeping my phone on me. Call me if you feel worse. Promise?” He holds out a pinky and I can’t help but smile at the childish gesture.
I wrap my finger around his. “Promise.”
Before he leaves, he makes me call both the girls and once he’s certain they’re on their way to keep an eye on me he finally leaves.
I heave my achy body out of bed and to the shower.
I’ve barely wanted to move the past few days.
The flu, or whatever travel bug I’ve come down with, has whooped my ass.
I don’t take as long of a shower as I normally would.
Instead, I focus on cleaning my body and getting out as quickly as I can.
Exfoliating, shaving, and all of that will have to wait until my muscles aren’t so sore.
I’m changing into a fresh pair of pajama bottoms and top when there’s a soft knock at the door.
I open it to find Sabrina and Whimsy with a tray of food and drinks.
“Fisher told us you hadn’t been eating much and ordered us to bring you options.”
I can’t help but smile at the items. Water, some sort of juice, coffee, and something that even looks like Ginger Ale. On the food side of things there’s a small bowl of fruit, crackers, and toast.
“That man.”
I step aside to let them in.
“I feel really bad about this,” I tell them. “What if I’m contagious?”
Whimsy shrugs. “Then we kick Fisher out to bunk up with Noah or Elias and all of us take over this room so we can be sick together.”
I can’t help but smile. I’ve always liked Whimsy and I love her even more now. I’m blessed that she’s going to be my sister-in-law one day.
“We brought our pajamas with us. Do you mind if we change?” Sabrina asks.
“Not at all.”
They take turns changing and while they do I take a careful sip of the Ginger Ale and nibble on some crackers. I wait to see if my stomach is going to lurch in protest but it seems fine, so I snag a piece of toast. If I can keep some food down it’ll go a long way to making me feel better, I’m sure.
I climb into the middle of the bed and Whimsy joins me on one side and Sabrina on the other.
“If we’re going to watch a movie, might I suggest something from the Jurassic Park franchise?”
I burst into laughter at Whimsy’s suggestion.
“I was thinking something more rom-com vibes and less gory.”
Whimsy scrunches her nose. “Those movies are not gory. In fact, I wish there was more gore, but fine I’ll settle for a rom-com.”
Sabrina leans around me. “Ebba is the sick one so she should get to pick anyway.”
“It’s fine,” Whimsy grumbles. “You two can just admit you don’t have taste.”
Sabrina and I both erupt into giggles. I make a mental note to take Whimsy to a dinosaur expo for her birthday. I bet she’d love it.
Sabrina passes me the remote and I scroll through until I find something of interest.
I’m finding it hard to keep my eyes open, though, as tired as I am. With how sick I’ve felt I’ve only been getting sleep in random bursts.
I try my hardest to stay awake, though, because I’m so grateful to have the company of my friends.
I remember when I was a kid my mom always told me to cherish my female friendships—that while family is forever, our friends are our chosen family, and that girlhood especially is something special.
I asked her when girlhood stopped, that surely there must be an expiration on it, but she just smiled and said, “No, my sweet girl. Girlhood is everlasting. Just look around you and you’ll see. ”
And I did.
In the group of older women giggling outside of a restaurant in Miami. In the little girls in my condo building who hang out by the pool making friendship bracelets. And in these two women who would drop their plans to hang out with their sick friend.
I wake with a jolt sometime later. Sabrina and Whimsy are no longer in the bed, but instead seated at the table by the windows speaking in hushed tones.
Sabrina notices I’m awake first and smiles in my direction. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty. How’d you rest?”
“Good.” I rub my eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you guys.”
“It’s okay,” Whimsy says. “You need your rest.”
“But now that you’re awake”—Sabrina shoots a conspiratorial smile Whimsy’s way— “there’s something I want to do, but only if you want to, that is.”
“What is it?” I ask, sitting up and throwing the blankets off my body.
She holds up a bag from the pharmacy. “Pregnancy test.”
I gape at her. “You’re pregnant?”
She shrugs. “Maybe. We’ve been trying since the wedding.
Since my doctor said I might have trouble conceiving we didn’t want to wait.
So far nothing has happened, but I think …
I think maybe this time I am, and I thought as much as I love Noah, it would be special to learn first with you guys and then find a cute way to tell him. ”
I’m up and out of the bed and across the room in a blink that has my leg screaming in protest. But I don’t care as I throw my arms around Sabrina.
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Don’t get too happy yet,” she laughs, hugging me back. Letting go, she gives me a long stern look. “Are you okay with this though?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I—” I freeze and my throat closes up at the thoughtfulness. “It’s so kind of you to consider my feelings.”
“I want you to be a part of this, but only if you’re truly okay with it.”
I hug her again. “I am, I promise.”
She pulls out one of the boxes and hurries to the bathroom. “Wish me luck, guys.”
“Noah’s retirement might be right around the corner,” Whimsy says softly. “How’s Fisher going to handle that?”
“He’ll be fine,” I answer without hesitation, because I know he will be. Whether he decides to coach Elias or someone else or do something different altogether, I know it’ll work out.
Sabrina emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later. “And now I wait,” she sighs. “But while I’m waiting…” She plucks two more tests out of the bag, holding one out to me and another to Whimsy.
“No way.” Whimsy shakes her head, frowning at the box like it’s poisonous. “Get that thing away from me.”
“Oh, come on,” Sabrina cajoles, waving the box in her face. “Don’t let me wait alone.”
“Ugh,” she groans, snatching the box. “Okay, fine. But you owe me one.”
“Thank you,” Sabrina sing-songs as Whimsy heads to the bathroom. “Don’t think I forgot you.” She hands me a box.
I take it from her, the blood draining from my face as I do. I feel cold all over.
I thought it was the flu but what if…
With Grace I felt sick all the time like I do now. I didn’t want to get out of bed, and I struggled to keep anything down, staying glued to a toilet for most of the day. I don’t know how I managed to forget.
“Hey, are you okay?” Sabrina’s smile slips off her face. “Fuck. I’m sorry. If you don’t want to take one that’s okay.” She tries to take the box back, but I tighten my hold.
“Sabrina.” I force myself to meet her stare. “What if I don’t have the flu?”
I see my words hit her, the slow process of them before her lips slowly part. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” I pluck at the edge of the box. “Oh.” Shaking my head, I mutter, “I don’t know why the possibility didn’t cross my mind. I had similar symptoms last time.”
She settles her hand over top of mine. “Just take the test and see. Don’t overthink it yet.”
I bite my lip, nervously fiddling with the box while I wait for Whimsy to finish up.
I’m not sure how I feel about the possibility of being pregnant.
Obviously, it wouldn’t be planned, and Fisher and I are in a good spot, but a baby is a huge deal.
Especially since we’ve only been back together a few months.
But it’s not fear that I feel. It’s longing.
It’s hope settling deep in my chest. I know it won’t be the end of the world if the test is negative.
I wasn’t even trying to get pregnant. But I find myself hoping that it’ll be positive.
Whimsy exits the bathroom with a flourish, oblivious to what’s going on. “Your turn, Ebs,” she announces, staring down at the stick in her hand with a grimace.
I scurry into the bathroom and quickly do my business.
It’s okay if it’s negative, I tell myself as I settle back with the girls so we can wait for all our results to be ready. We all hold our respective tests with the part of the test that will show the outcome covered by our hands. Don’t get your hopes up.
It feels crazy to want something so badly, something I hadn’t planned for or even thought about until Sabrina brought it up.
Sabrina keeps watching me out of the corner of her eye like she’s searching for any sign that I might be about to lose my shit. But I’m calm.
“All right, time’s up,” Whimsy announces.
She takes her hand off her test and lets out a joyous whoop.
“Oh, thank God. I was beginning to feel paranoid.” She blows out a breath and tosses the test back in her box.
“I’m so not ready for a kid.” She frowns when she finds that Sabrina and I haven’t checked our tests yet. “Hurry up, guys. Look.”
Sabrina and I exchange a look and remove our hands at the same time.
My heart stops for a moment before starting back up again at an accelerated speed.
The plus sign stares back at me and I choke on a sob.
Beside me, I turn to Sabrina. Her left hand covers her mouth and tears pool in her eyes. My eyes drop to her test.
Plus sign.
A sound that’s a cross between a cry and a scream leaves me as I throw my arms around Sabrina. “We’re going to have babies together.”
Sabrina squeezes me tight, both of us crying hysterically.
“Wait, you’re both pregnant?” Whimsy shrieks.
“I’m going to be an auntie two times?” I let go of Sabrina and hold out my test to Whimsy.
Her jaw drops and she throws her arms around me.
“Oh, Ebba. I’m so happy for you. You want this, right?
” She pulls back, holding my face between her hands. “This is happy news?”
“The happiest.”
Sabrina sniffles. “Maddie is going to be a big sister. Oh my God she’s going to be so excited.” She touches her hand reverently to her stomach. “Noah’s going to lose his mind.”
“And Fisher?” Whimsy prompts me.
“Is going to be shocked.” A laugh bubbles out of me. “That man has to have the most potent sperm ever. Apparently, my birth control is no match against him.” More laughter flies out of me. “A baby,” I muse softly. “We’re going to be moms together,” I say to Sabrina.
“Our kids are going to be the same age,” she adds.
“Best friends,” I choke. “At least I hope they will be.”
Sabrina grips my hand and gives it a squeeze.
“I feel left out.” Whimsy pouts. “Group hug?”
Sabrina and I each open an arm and Whimsy laughs as she joins our huddle.
“Girlhood,” I hear my mom’s whisper in my thoughts.
But not just girlhood anymore.
Motherhood.