Chapter 19 #2
Pressure seemed to be coming from all angles, at work, home, family, even her health. She wasn’t sleeping well, as questions and second-guessing and self-recrimination boiled away in a cesspool of pain.
But even while she was feeling pinched on so many sides, part of her was starting to wonder if all this God stuff actually was real. There seemed no other explanation for why Kyle was acting the way that he was.
Unlike the rest of her life, Kyle wasn’t being pushy.
Instead, he was gracious, continuing to let Gen take the lead as far as Bella was concerned.
And while that was great in some ways, in others it was disconcerting.
Because she didn’t want to do or say the wrong thing, and break this fragile truce that existed between them.
Something that was sure to be broken should her mom ever meet his parents, like at this stupid dinner this weekend.
Bella glanced up at her. “Mom, are you okay?”
“Sorry, honey. I zoned out for a moment. What did you say?”
“It’s a yes to meeting them. At dinner, with Grandma.”
Oh no.
Bella’s brow wrinkled. “But do you think I should call Kyle’s mom Granny?”
A chuckle escaped despite her misgivings. “I think maybe you should wait to see how they would like to be addressed.”
“It’s really weird, isn’t it? A week ago, I only had three people in my entire family in all the world. And now it’s doubled.”
Gen’s stomach tensed. And that was because she’d never shared about Kyle or his family. Poor Bella had grown up virtually family-less, all because of fear.
“So, are you really sure you want them to come?” Please say no.
“Yep! I’ve got to meet them sometime, don’t I?”
She nodded, heart sinking. Was it selfish that she didn’t want Bella to like them more than her?
Of course it was selfish. She only hoped that Bella would look past Philippa Tinker’s beauty and glamor and see that even though Minnie Rivas was aged and drove a wreck of a car, she was worthy of just as much attention and respect as rich folk who hadn’t known about Bella’s existence for years, but would likely still try to interfere.
Likely? Definitely, that evil angel whispered.
“What are they like?” Bella asked. “You know them, don’t you?”
She bit her lip, holding back the first descriptors she’d like to share.
Telling her daughter that her father’s parents hated Gen was probably not the mature thing to do.
“The last time I saw them was when your father was at the hospital after he was hurt in a hockey game. They were…” Unpleasant.
Unkind. “…relieved to see your father was going to be okay.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t say much about them. What are they like? Kyle’s dad has got to be handsome, because Kyle is good-looking, isn’t he?”
What answer could she give to this but, “Yes.”
Bella grinned. “I knew you thought he was good-looking.”
“You better not go telling him that,” she warned. “We don’t want his good looks spoiled because he gets such a massively big head.”
Bella laughed. “Can you imagine? He’d look like one of those balloons with a face painted on it. That would be so weird.”
“Right? Plus, if the wind came along, it might snatch him away all the way to Japan, and then where would we be?”
“We’d still be here, silly,” Bella said, giving Gen a hug.
Yep. They’d still be here. In this crappy house, with the crappy couch, and the crappy car. Instead of Bella feeling like Cinderella who had been invited to go to a ball.
She swallowed. Of course, whether that made her the wicked stepmother or the ugly stepsister, she didn’t want to know.
Bella went to get ready for bed and Gen texted Kyle.
If it’s still okay, then Bella would like to meet your parents at dinner.
His message flashed back.
Awesome! I know they’re excited to meet her too.
A few seconds later, another text arrived.
Did your mom want to come too? No biggie either way.
She snorted.
Of course it’s a biggie. She’s probably the biggest biggie of all.
Look, I didn’t want to say that.
Wise man.
Sometimes.
Trying to be anyway.
Her heart clenched. She appreciated that he was trying to be careful.
Hey, how are you doing? I know this is a lot on top of everything else you’re going through.
Her eyes pricked.
It is a lot. But I’m trying to be mature about it. It’s very hard sometimes.
I hear you.
How are you holding up about the patient who died?
Oh, why did he have to ask about that?
Then her phone started to ring. It was him. She internally braced then answered. “Hello?”
“Gen, I just couldn’t text anymore. I was getting RSI in my thumbs.”
She smiled, grateful he hadn’t wanted to video call. “It’s okay.”
“Is it?” he asked gently. “I’ve been praying for you since Friday about that patient of yours who died. I’m so sorry that happened. I don’t know how you can manage having to deal with such hard things all the time.”
Her throat clamped, she couldn’t speak. How could he be so kind about this, so understanding?
“Gen?”
“I’m here,” she whispered.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. But I want you to know if you wanna talk then I’m happy to listen. As your friend.”
Her friend. She didn’t have too many of those.
Not people who she could just be real with.
And even with Kyle’s weird listening to God stuff, he seemed more genuinely interested in her than anybody else.
She’d never really opened up with her colleagues, and now, with the peer review and potential inquiry, it felt like there was another wall between them.
Even Mom held so much anger that it felt impossible to break through and just relax.
But Kyle had always had that way of helping her be honest. He didn’t want anything from her, and she didn’t need to play games. Especially not now. Not anymore. He knew her better than most, probably better than anyone, apart from Mom. And this insistence on being her friend made her feel safe.
“I… appreciate that. But it’s not really something I can talk about on the phone.”
“Okay. Well, just know that I’m here if you do want to talk. Okay?”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“And I’m still praying for you.”
She swallowed. “Thanks.”
“And I’ll be praying for my folks and your mom so that there’s no hair-pulling or screaming matches.”
“Ugh. Can you imagine?”
“Don’t want to. Which is why I’m praying that it’s a great time for Bella to feel like she has family who cares.”
Offense reared. Did he mean to suggest—?
“More family who cares,” he added quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like you don’t. I know your mom and you, of course, have been awesome. Bella really is a lucky girl to have you as her mom.” His tongue clicked. “What am I doing saying lucky? I mean blessed.”
Blessed. A word she rarely used, but it fitted.
Because maybe if this God stuff was real then God had given Bella to Gen for a reason.
And that reason might still be something of a mystery, but she’d take the fact that it had helped her to feel blessed.
“Thanks, Kyle.”
“I mean it. I’m… I’m grateful that you’re the mother of my child. You’re a blessing. She’s amazing. Just like you.”
She batted away tears. He was only being kind. She knew that. But still her heart hungered for the words.
A blessing. Amazing. She’d take it.
And with words like that to fuel her, maybe she could face his parents and this meal wouldn’t be completely awful after all.