Chapter 21 #2
“I’ve found managing my workflow is really important, so you need to learn to prioritize. Firstly sick people, then orders and consults, dispos, notes, then move on to your next patient. And if you use dot phrases and note templates you’ll save yourself a lot of time.”
“Thanks, Gen. I mean, Dr. Rivas. That’s so helpful.”
“You’re welcome. Learning to schedule and manage your time is a lot, so it’s good to find the time-savers that will work for you.”
Having long been a person who thrived on schedules, she’d loved the challenge of meeting all her obligations on her to-do lists. But it had taken time to implement strategies and feel like she was keeping her head above water.
She finished another round of notes as the phone rang. Cindy answered, then nodded to her. “Gen, you’re wanted upstairs by Dr. Rialto and the peer committee.”
She sighed, and checked on Francis again, then found Dr. Singh. “I’ve been asked to see Dr. Rialto again for the peer review.”
He winced. “I wish I could be there with you, but you’ll be fine.”
She wished she had his confidence. The nerves that had accompanied her since that first notification about a complaint ramped up. She checked her appearance then headed upstairs to the conference room.
As the program director, Dr. Rialto was across Gen’s situation as much as Dr. Singh.
In her last meeting with him she’d been advised that she would be asked to present her side of events to a group of peers to see if the case needed to escalate to the board.
It felt like she was being unfairly targeted, but there was little she could do.
She rode the elevator to the executive floor, her heart tight, like an old-fashioned pincushion with too much stuffing for the fabric straining to keep it in.
That’s what her life felt like. Too full. There was too much going on. Between this review, and all the changes happening with Bella, and with Kyle, and Mom’s moodiness, and the pressures of trying to be good enough everywhere all the time—
She didn’t know how much longer she could keep this up.
Her phone buzzed with a notification. Kyle. Praying hands emoji.
Huh. Well, she could do with it. Maybe God would listen to him, seeing he was so good these days.
Her mind, ever eager to be distracted from the probable results of the review, flicked to the latest Kyle-ism. After reiterating his desire to take them on a vacation, Kyle had next offered to give them a car.
Mom had been horrified. “I won’t be bribed!”
Kyle had been patient, insisting he only wanted to do it to make sure Bella was safe.
“She’s perfectly safe as she is,” Mom had snapped.
And that had been the end of that. Which was a shame, as Gen wouldn’t mind an alternative to the rust bucket Mom was too attached to.
Mom insisted her reluctance wasn’t due to offended pride but a genuine attachment to what had been the first secondhand car she’d owned, rather than the usual succession of vehicles with four or five previous owners that Gen remembered growing up.
Gen wasn’t so sure. It would’ve been nice to have another option instead of the bus or the rust bucket, yet she didn’t have enough energy to argue.
But it wasn’t worth stirring the pot and fueling Mom’s rage.
Gen suspected Mom’s moodiness was partly due to menopause but didn’t dare say that aloud, as she’d be sure to get her head bitten off.
The Rivas women might share a lot of things but despite Gen being a doctor, Mom had always refused to get too personal, saying such things were private, so Gen hadn’t pushed.
Not that it worked the other way, of course. Mom had no issues with pushing boundaries, or getting into Gen’s face. Such as that whole issue with Bella calling Kyle “Dad.”
Why it hurt Gen she didn’t really know. Well, she did. But saying that she resented her daughter calling Kyle “Dad” felt so petty, even if it also felt like he’d barely been around long enough to deserve that title.
Mom had agreed. “He’s only been here five minutes and you let Bella call him that?”
“What was I going to do, Mom? Say no, you can’t, not until he’s been around a year?”
Mom hadn’t relented, her words seeding more of Gen’s own insecurities. For as much as Gen knew Kyle was a good man, all these little things he kept doing, he kept being, only took Bella further away from her. And if she wasn’t Bella’s mom, then who was she?
And yes, that made her selfish, but her ability to stay sanguine felt increasingly impossible, like she was struggling to keep her head above water. And depending on how this interview went, she might well drown.
The secretary nodded to Gen. “Ah, Ms. Rivas. Dr. Rialto won’t be long.”
Gen took the seat opposite, her fingers pleating her trousers.
According to the most recent email she’d received, this peer review was designed to see if the care for Lily had adhered to hospital policy and met the threshold of care demanded by Child Protective Services.
And while Gen knew she had done her best, she couldn’t help but wonder if she had missed something.
And the fact she hadn’t been able to discuss with her colleagues what she had done meant she was living in this void of uncertainty, wondering what her colleagues were saying behind her back.
“Ah, they’re ready for you now.”
The door opened, and she realized that instead of being a committee of three peers, this looked like it also included several board members.
Oh no. She’d come prepared to discuss this professionally but also candidly in the manner she and Dr. Rialto had always managed.
He’d been supportive, encouraging Dr. Singh to trust her as his 2IC.
But some of the people sitting here she didn’t know.
And she knew some had not been fans of hiring a fresh-faced medical graduate with a working-class background who definitely had come from the wrong side of the tracks.
“Good afternoon, Dr. Rivas. Please take a seat.”