Chapter 12
Ihad just settled into bed with a book when my phone beeped with a text on the nightstand. Groaning to myself—my mother had taken to texting when I didn’t answer her calls—I picked it up. An unknown number had texted: Please spare my dignity and tell me you didn’t watch.
I squinted at the message, trying to make sense of it. That didn’t sound like my mother. Normally she just tried to guilt trip me into sending her money.
Stumped, I typed back, Sorry, who is this?
The answer came almost immediately. Your favorite hockey hunk.
Oh, Lord. Liam was texting me now?
Me: How did you get my number?
The bouncing dots appeared, letting me know he was writing back. The thought gave me a little thrill. There was something so delicious about knowing he was holding his phone right at that moment, thinking about me while I was thinking about him.
Unknown: You included your number in the info packet we got at Meet the Teacher night.
Hmm. I knew for a fact that Liam was currently in Phoenix—I had just watched him play the first game of the preseason. So that must have meant he had put my number into his phone before he left. It was probably silly to feel so giddy about that, but I couldn’t help it.
That number was supposed to be used for school related emergencies only, I wrote back, grinning.
Unknown: Sorry. How’s this: My daughter might be sleepy in class tomorrow because she stayed up late to watch her daddy get his ass kicked on TV.
I winced. He really wasn’t exaggerating.
Me: It’s only the preseason. Things can turn around. Besides, you played well.
Liam had scored the team’s only goal.
His response was almost immediate.
Unknown: You watched it?
I could just see that smirky look on his face. I rolled my eyes.
Me: It was my brother’s first game as an NHL owner. Of course I watched.
It was a minute or two before he wrote back. I used the time to add his contact into my phone, justifying that I might need it to share info about Josie.
Yeah. Right.
Liam: He probably isn’t feeling so great about his investment right about now.
Me: Andy’s a smart guy. He knows these things take time.
The dots bounced around for a few moments.
Liam: Sorry, still depressed. I hate losing.
I remembered this about him. Whenever the team lost a game in high school, he would mope around like a little kid who’d been grounded.
My phone dinged in my hand.
Liam: Distract me, Gracie.
That sent the butterflies tumbling around in my stomach.
He had always called me Gracie. I wasn’t sure why—Andy didn’t even call me that.
But it always felt special coming from Liam’s lips.
There was something proprietary about his use of the diminutive.
Like he was making some kind of claim over my name, making it his own.
It always felt like a statement about how he felt about me.
More high school silliness, I reminded myself. It’s just a nickname.
Me: How shall I distract you?
Liam: I *really* want to say something dirty right now, but I’m going to be good. How was your day?
I grinned as I typed my response.
Me: It was fine until I watched this absolute clusterfuck of a hockey game.
Liam: NOT FUNNY
I giggled to myself as I typed.
Me: My day was nice. I’m starting to feel like I know the kids in my class, and that makes the work a lot easier.
I chewed on my lip, wondering how much he actually wanted to hear.
Me: Today a student brought in a pregnancy test instead of his lunch.
Liam: WHAT?
Me: Apparently there were two paper bags on the counter before he left for school. He grabbed the wrong one.
Liam: Holy shit.
Me: Had no idea how to explain that one to the kids. Then his mom called in a panic when she realized what happened. She was mortified. I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t close to the most embarrassing thing a kid ever brought in.
Liam: Yeah, I’m gonna need to hear *all* your insane teaching stories at some point.
Before I could respond, the dots started bouncing again.
Liam: Josie had a really good time at your computer thing the other day.
That had me grinning wider. She’d been obviously shy during the two hours she’d stayed after school with the STEM Gems, but she showed interest in everything we did, which I’d taken as a good sign. If she’d told her dad it was fun, that was a pretty good start.
Me: I’m glad. It was nice to have her there.
Liam: So what else did you do today? Or was the rogue pregnancy test the highlight?
I started to reply but saw the dots bouncing again so I waited.
Liam: I know the game wasn’t the highlight.
I winced.
Me: The game was not the highlight, though your goal was quite nice.
Liam: Quite nice. How effusive of you.
I couldn’t keep the grin off my face.
Me: That’s a pretty big word for a dumb jock.
The grin slipped when the phone started to ring in my hand. Crap. I stared at Liam’s name on the screen for a long moment, frozen with nerves. Finally, I tapped the accept button and brought it to my ear.
“Hello?” I said uncertainly, wondering if maybe he’d called on accident while texting.
“Who are you calling a dumb jock?” God, the sound of his voice, so low and gravely, right in my ear had goosebumps erupting over my skin. I sank back into the pillows, cradling the phone against my cheek.
“Pretty sure I never said that. You must have been texting someone else.”
His low chuckle made my tummy dip. “So, what else did you do today? Besides watch our shitty game?”
“I found a new restaurant!”
“And you sound very excited about it.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“I am! Finding good restaurants is one of my very favorite things about living in Austin.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. There are so many great places around here to eat and hang out. Before I got here, I’d never tried so many different kinds of foods.”
“Yeah, Minnesota isn’t exactly known for our exotic palette.”
I giggled. “But you have to admit the hotdish is pretty good.”
“Hotdish,” he half moaned. “God, I haven’t had it in forever. I’m going to have to get my mom to cook it when my parents come down.”
Thinking about his mother gave me a little pang in my chest. Leigh O’Conner had always been so good to me. I had a feeling Liam had told her about my shitty home life—she seemed like the type of woman who found joy in looking after strays.
She always made sure I stuck around a while to chat after our tutoring sessions, usually arguing with me until I stayed for dinner—which, unsurprisingly, was very often hotdish, the creamy casserole consisting of canned soup, veggies, ground beef, and tater tots, a much-loved staple in Minnesota.
Sometimes Mrs. O’Conner would leave little treats by my purse where I left it in the mudroom, fresh baked cookies or fancy little soaps she thought I’d like. Once she’d even knitted me a new scarf.
I still had that scarf in my closet, even though Austin had never gotten cold enough to wear it in all the time I’d lived here. I couldn’t bring myself to part with it.
“Where’d you go?” Liam murmured over the line.
I cleared my throat. “Just thinking about your mom.”
“She would love to see you when they’re here,” he said, and his voice sounded suddenly husky.
“I would like that.”
Silence stretched between us for a long moment, and I wondered if he was remembering the same things I was. I wondered if those memories made his heart twinge in quite the same way.
“Tell me about the new restaurant,” he eventually said.
“It was barbecue,” I said. “Which we have plenty of in Austin. But the atmosphere was really good and the service was awesome. That makes a big difference.”
“Who’d you go with?” he asked. “The girls?”
“No, I went with my friend Greg. He’s a major foodie so most of my best cuisine discoveries happen when I’m hanging out with him.”
Liam was quiet for such a long beat I wondered if he’d hung up. “Are you there?”
He cleared his throat. “Your friend Greg, huh?”
I frowned. He sounded a little pissed.
“Yeah,” I said uncertainly. “He works with Andy. He’s the head of the marketing department.”
“Uh huh.”
I made a face at my empty room. What was going on? Since Liam had lapsed into silence again, I rambled on, not sure what else to do.
“He was one of the first hires,” I said. “He came on board when Knight Corp was still in Minnesota so we’ve known him forever and—”
“And you’re seeing him?”
“Seeing him?”
His words were clipped, almost sharp. “Seeing him. Dating him.”
“What? No.” The idea was kind of laughable. All of that core group of people who helped Andy start the business were like family to me at this point.
“No? You just go out to eat with him all the time? Just the two of you?”
“What the hell, Liam?” I snapped. “Why are you acting like an asshole all of a sudden?”
“Maybe because I’m fucking jealous,” he bit out.
Oh. That pulled me up short.
My heart suddenly pounding, I cleared my throat. My mouth had gone dry and I was sure he’d be able to sense my sudden nerves if I spoke. “Why are you jealous?” I half whispered.
“Seriously?” He almost sounded amused. “Come on, Gracie. You know exactly why I’m jealous.”
This silence was even longer, a thick tension settling over us.
I had no idea how to respond to that. There was a part of me that wanted to whoop in celebration.
Liam cared about me. Cared enough to get jealous of another guy.
That had to mean something, right? He was jealous and he’d kissed me last weekend and that definitely meant he cared.
But there was a larger part of me that couldn’t help but be terrified. I had been convinced before and somehow had misread it. Few things had ever hurt me as bad as the pain of losing Liam all those years ago. I didn’t think I could stand to do it again.
“I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to call you over the last decade,” he finally murmured.
“I wish you would have.” There had been so many times throughout the years when I had been lonely, so many times I had missed him.
“I want to see you when I get home,” he said, his voice much stronger than it had been, more certain.
“I…” I didn’t know how to respond to that. Did I want to see him? Of course I did. But that didn’t mean it would be a good idea.
“You don’t want to see me?” he asked. “From the way you kissed me back the other day I didn’t get the impression you objected to my company.”
There was a sharp note to his voice, and I swallowed, trying to gather my thoughts.
“I always like to see you,” I finally admitted. “I just…think that this is complicated.”
“Why? We were really close once, right? Why does spending time together have to be complicated?”
“Um, maybe because I’m your daughter’s teacher?”
He chuckled softly and I was relieved he wasn’t angry. “There is that.”
“Also, my brother is technically your boss. And he wasn’t your biggest fan in the first place.”
“You think Andy is going to trade me if he catches me hanging out with his sister?”
I gave a light laugh, but there was a part of me that believed that was exactly what would happen. I had barely been able to restrain my brother from going after Liam the last time he’d hurt me.
“Look,” he said, his voice gentle now. “I know it’s complicated.
I’m not saying we should rush into anything.
I just know that I’ve missed you for twelve years.
And now that we’re in the same city it would feel…
I don’t know. Really stupid. It would feel phenomenally stupid not to spend time with you now that I have the chance again. ”
“It would,” I agreed, unable to lie to him.
“At the very least, I’ve really missed your friendship. Couldn’t we pick up where we left off and go from there?”
But we hadn’t left off as friends. At least not on my part. The last time I’d seen Liam O’Conner in Minnesota, I’d been heartbroken and in love with him.
I couldn’t exactly admit that, though. So instead, I forced some cheer into my voice and said, “sure. We could definitely be friends again.”
“Good. I would really like that, Gracie.”
There was another long beat of silence. “I should probably go,” I finally said. “The kids will be rambunctious as always tomorrow morning whether I get some rest or not.”
“Okay,” he replied, and I wanted to just sink into the warmth in his voice. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Have a safe flight home.”
“Sleep well, Gracie.”
I murmured a good night and disconnected the call. I lay there holding the phone for a long moment, not sure I’d be able to sleep at all, despite the truth of what I’d told him about the kids’ energy levels.
It was all fine and good to agree to be friends with the only guy I had ever loved.
But I was afraid that in practice, it was going to be a lot harder than it sounded.
The last time we’d been together for any real length of time, I’d spent half the hours wishing he would love me, and the other half pretending I wasn’t head- over-heels. It was exhausting.
I may be older and wiser now, but I had a feeling that where Liam O’Conner was concerned, my heart was just as foolish as it ever was. And I wasn’t sure I would be able to pretend with him again.