3. Emily
EMILY
Why couldn’tJesse just be the same jerk he’d been the night he’d broken up with me? No, he had to show up as the sweet, adorable guy I’d fallen in love with as a teen. Except the boy had grown up into a man so gorgeous, the fight to stop looking at him gave me a headache from the eye strain.
While I didn’t actively think about it, I remembered the night he’d broken up with me in too much detail. And because this was the first time I’d seen Jesse since then, it seemed like a million years ago and yesterday at the same time.
I couldn’t find it in me to blame a lifetime of failed attempts at love on a high school breakup, but I’d wondered on and off over the years. We had been kids—ruled by feelings and hormones, as Sabrina had said—so to connect all my hang-ups to Jesse and still be mad at him for it was ridiculous.
Yet every time a smile would spread across that perfect mouth and light up his stupidly handsome face tonight, ridiculous or not, it pissed me off.
I’d always expected to run into him someday, but I’d never seen him again. There had been no reason to be in each other’s towns if we weren’t together anymore, which had given me a much-needed buffer. Not worrying about running into Jesse made it easier to leave my house, not that I’d wanted to those first few weeks.
Sabrina had lived in the same town as Jesse, almost walking distance to St. Kate’s, but she’d come to see me during holiday breaks from school and summers, or we’d meet halfway somewhere.
She’d never called me out for being the coward I was back then, and I still adored her for it.
Jesse had moved away, or so I’d seen on Facebook when I’d let weakness win and had looked him up a few years ago. The second I’d spotted that damn table card with Jesse’s name on it, despite my best attempts to deny it to Sabrina, all I’d been able to think about was what it would be like to finally see each other again.
Now that I had, it wasn’t so bad. Nice, even. That both relieved and annoyed me. Asking him why he’d run out of my life after all this time was pointless, yet the longer I sat at the table, making small talk with Jesse and Caden as I tried to ignore Sabrina’s side-eye and smirk, the more the question burned in my brain.
“I swear, I still don’t recognize half these people,” Caden mused as his gaze swept over the dance floor.
“Maybe some are just plus-ones,” I offered. It was nice to hear music that I knew most of the words to for a change, aside from in my car and at the grocery store. Sabrina had dragged me to the dance floor a couple of times, and while things weren’t as tense between Jesse and me tonight as I’d expected they would be, a break from the table was welcome.
“Not that I have anyone to bring, but I couldn’t see bringing anyone here.” Caden shook his head before he tipped back his beer bottle.
“Again, you’re the one who suggested we come here,” Jesse said as he narrowed his eyes at Caden.
“Because I was nosy, not excited to come. Two very different levels of motivation.”
“And this is why we always got along.” Sabrina tapped his arm. “So, what’s your story for being without a plus-one?”
“Divorced.” Caden shrugged. “It’s been a couple of years. She got the house, so I’m living in town again. How about you?” He tipped his chin to Sabrina.
“Same. We never worked up to a house, so I guess that’s a good thing.” Sabrina’s smile was always muted whenever she mentioned her divorce. It had been about a year since it was finalized, but the hurt would still flicker across her face whenever anyone would bring it up.
“It sucks. I’m sorry. Whoever he was, he was an asshole.”
Sabrina laughed and bumped her shoulder against his.
“So was she.”
“How about you, Emily?” Caden asked me. “Where is your plus-one tonight?”
Jesse’s head whipped to mine in my periphery. The question, along with his eyes on me, triggered tension across my shoulder blades.
“Chronically single, so no plus-one. Although, I agree with you. I wouldn’t bring anyone to a reunion I wasn’t thrilled about attending myself.”
“But you’re successful enough for Sharon to want to have lunch with you. That’s high school reunion glory right there,” Caden joked as he pointed a finger at me.
“I suppose so,” I said, a nervous chuckle slipping from my lips as I anticipated Jesse’s answer. After a few long seconds, he didn’t offer anything, and I wasn’t about to ask.
“A few people are supposed to head to a bar after this,” Caden said, lifting a shoulder. “Would you guys want to go? I figured we’re all out anyway.” He grimaced as he pushed his plate away. “And you’re good for the night, right, Jess?”
Good for the night? When Jesse replied with a reluctant nod, my curiosity was piqued. What was going on at Jesse’s home? Whatever it was, it was none of my business, and while I wanted to know, I didn’t want to know at the same time. Keeping tonight superficial between us was fine and preferable.
“That sounds more fun than this,” Sabrina said, craning her neck.
“You guys go. I think I’ve had enough reunion for the night.” I stuffed my phone into my purse and stood to peel my jacket off the back of the chair.
“Then I’ll take you home,” Sabrina said, pushing away from the table. “I’m not letting you take a cab.”
“Don’t be silly.” I waved a hand. “Go enjoy.”
Tonight was the first time in a while that I’d heard a laugh from Sabrina that didn’t seem forced. I didn’t want her to put an end to a fun night with an old friend because of me, but I’d also had enough reminiscing and wanted to be alone to process it all.
“I can take you home,” Jesse said, wrapping his hand around my arm. “I don’t want you taking a cab either.”
“I appreciate the offer, but no. It’s out of your way.”
“No, it’s not.”
My head snapped up to Jesse as his brown eyes bored into mine with a determination I didn’t know what to do with.
“You don’t know where I live. How do you know it’s not out of your way?”
“How do you know it is?” Jesse lifted a brow, a smirk tipping his lips. “You don’t mind getting a ride with Sabrina, do you?” he asked Caden.
“As long as she doesn’t.” Caden nodded to Sabrina. “I live not too far from where the bar is. I can walk home from there.”
“That’s fine. I’ll take you and drive you home. I think this all sounds like a great idea.”
I narrowed my eyes at her wry grin.
“Okay,” I conceded. “It’s silly, but yes, thank you for the ride.”
Another smile split Jesse’s perfect mouth, and the victory spreading over his features annoyed me as much as the warmth spreading through my chest.
“After you,” Jesse said, extending his arm in front of me.
“Thanks.” I gave him a tight smile as I strode past him, my skin prickling from his presence behind me. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d sat next to him for the night and managed to hold it together, but now that we were alone, I was antsy. Our history had been easier to ignore with Caden and Sabrina running interference.
“Would you mind if I made a quick phone call first? I’ll just be a minute.”
“Not at all. Do what you have to do.”
I leaned my shoulder against the wall when Jesse stepped away, too curious about who he might have been speaking to with that big of a smile plastered to his face, when I was clobbered from behind with a hug.
“Sneaking out?”
I smiled at Penny’s voice behind me. She’d spotted me on the dance floor, and I’d had every intention of seeking her out to catch up. Trying to appear aloof in front of Jesse had taken all my effort and brain cells for most of the night.
“Are you heading to the bar too?”
I shook my head while my gaze veered to Jesse. His smile deepened, happy to hear the voice of whoever was on the other end. That smile used to be mine once upon a time, but it had belonged to the boy, not the man.
“No. But now that I live back on Long Island, how about a nice download over dinner one night?” I suggested, trying to will my eyes to focus on her and not watch the one-sided conversation behind me.
“That sounds fantastic. Yes, lots to catch up on.”
She brought me in for another quick, tight hug.
“I’ll let you get back to…” She glanced over my shoulder, scurrying away before I could set her straight that Jesse was just my ride home.
“I promise I’m okay.”
I pretended to pick an imaginary piece of lint off my dress as I fought hard to ignore Jesse’s deep chuckle. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. And I think it’s a little past your bedtime, young lady, even if it is the summer. I’m surprised you conned Grams into letting you stay up this late.”
Jesse had a kid. A little girl. I’d bet he was a great dad too. Judging by the love written all over his face, he adored his daughter. I was happy for him, if a little sad for me. I’d always wanted kids, but nothing had ever worked out. I’d been looking into other ways to go about it, but as I was nearing my thirty-ninth birthday, I needed to figure out what I wanted to do soon.
The pang in my chest from eavesdropping on Jesse and his daughter was enough to tip the scales for the moment.
I turned, fighting to keep my eyes straight ahead and not intrude on a conversation that was none of my business.
“I’m parked on the side street,” Jesse said, coming up behind me and almost making me jump. “We can just get right in and not wait around for valet.” He pointed to the already long line by the entrance as we headed out.
“They tried, I guess,” Jesse said, smiling as he clicked the key fob in his hand. A midsize SUV parked on the corner chirped in response.
“They did. I remember us saying the same thing when they had the prom here.”
Jesse rushed in front of me to open the passenger side door.
“Well, prom was more fun. For a lot of reasons.”
The only light on the street was the lamp on the corner, but I saw something in his eyes as they held mine. I spied equal parts heat and regret. Could nostalgia be kicking his ass a little bit tonight too?
“I suppose,” I said. It was a wimpy reply, but it was all I could muster as I shifted to climb into his truck.
“We could stop at the diner on the way home if you’re up for it.”
I stilled at his invitation. I didn’t want to be rude, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure how much one-on-one time I wanted with Jesse tonight if the simple notion of a car ride home had me this jittery.
“Maybe they still have that carrot cake you used to like?”
I examined Jesse’s face, annoyed at his easy grin.
“I think I heard that the Starlight Diner was under new management. I doubt the carrot cake is the same.”
“Wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?”
“That depends.” I lifted my foot out of the car and leaned against the back door. “How far down memory lane are you expecting to go?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, again with that damn smile. “A cup of coffee, a piece of cake, talking without our friends eyeballing our every move. Would that be so bad?”
“Maybe not,” I said, crossing my arms as I darted my eyes away from Jesse and toward the street.
“Maybe not,” he repeated, his deep chuckle so maddening and yet sexy at the same time. “I’ll take that.”
I should’ve told him just to take me straight home, but hadn’t I wondered about Jesse enough over the years? Maybe I didn’t owe him a cup of coffee and a talk, but I owed it to myself—even if the answer I’d always wondered about would hurt me all over again.