9. Olivia
“Hey, Liv. Mind if I join you?”
I look up and find Dr. Mark Reynolds waiting expectantly, a smile on his lips and a tray in his hands. The man’s a resident general doctor and I’ve gotten to know him through elevator rides and sometimes walking down together from the office floor to the hospital’s exit doors, but we haven’t been thoroughly acquainted. He’s a friendly face, though, so I nod.
“Sure.”
I glance at him from the corner of my eye as he arranges his food on the table. He’s younger than Luke, I think, and fairly experienced in this hospital, with around two years under his belt. He has a nice aura around him, which relaxes me.
We sit in companionable silence, just eating until he finally looks at me.
“How’s work so far, Liv?”
It’s tense and awkward, mostly because I don’t know how to act around Luke after the sex incident and the she’s-your-daughter incident. The thoughts alone send my heart constricting. But Mark isn’t asking about my personal life, is he?
Besides, I’m not the only one not talking about it yet. Luke hasn’t brought it up, either, because he’s had a hectic schedule this week or because he’s just not ready.
“Work is fine, Dr. Reynolds. I like how busy it is around here compared to my old workplace. Keeps the mind active, and I’m always learning new things.”
“Oh, please, call me Mark. It’s not as if we haven’t been chatting like friends these past few weeks.”
He’s right. I smile, appreciating this, as I’ve encountered some haughtier doctors who wouldn’t be caught dead interacting with the likes of me or nurses outside surgeries or official business. “Okay, Mark.”
“That’s good to hear, by the way. I hope Luke isn’t that grumpy anymore now that he has someone handling stuff for him.”
“He’s…well, he’s Dr. Jennings. That’s not going to change because of me.”
I don’t call Luke Dr. Grump or whatever nickname he has in front of Mark, but Mark gets it, anyway. He grins.
“So, he’s still grumpy old Luke, then. Noted.”
“I didn’t…”
Mark winks. “It’s fine. Really, it’s not so bad now. You should have seen him before.”
I know I shouldn’t ask, but my curiosity is piqued.
“Before?”
“Yeah. Especially when he was going through his divorce a few years ago.”
I know about the divorce, but only briefly when he mentioned finalizing the process the night we met at the bar and hooked up. The finer details, though, have been kept secret, as most of our other personal stuff has been kept secret from each other.
“I see.”
“I think it would have been fine if the divorce was a friendly one, but it was an ugly one. Everyone knew about it.”
I know I should leave the topic alone, especially since it is gossip involving a doctor I’m closely working with, but…
“Knew about what?”
“His wife cheating on him. Then leaving him for the man she cheated on him with.”
Whatever I expected, that’s not it. My heart automatically squeezes at the thought. I’ve never been cheated on, but no matter how one looks at it, I can’t find myself sympathizing with a person who willingly does it.
It’s just wrong. If you don’t love someone anymore, you end it with them, not cheat on them.
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
“No one expected it, honestly.” He shrugs. “They were together for a while and were supposedly this power couple from prominent families. I don’t follow high society around here, but I heard she was a known socialite before she married him.”
I can already picture her: smart, elegant, probably all charming smiles, never losing her temper. The complete opposite of me.
“It’s sad that that happened.”
Mark nods. “Let’s just say he was the kind of bear you wouldn’t have wanted to poke after that incident and during the divorce process. But I venture he moved on right away.”
“He did?”
“Well, not right away. Maybe a year after or something like that. But he went from being this loyal husband to this eligible bachelor who couldn’t keep the ladies off him. And I don’t blame him for taking advantage of that.”
I blink. “Oh. He slept around with employees?”
“Not employees. He didn’t go there, but he had a different woman on his arm every time he went out. A lot of them were probably just business dates, but the rumor is that he was never seen with the same woman twice. So everyone just assumed he casually slept around.”
I guess I can see it. I mean, look at him. The man who’s always grumbling and frowning just needs to smile and women are mesmerized.
Hell, I was mesmerized. I try not to think about all the times Luke probably slept with women long after he met me…while I was busy taking care of Riley. But he’s right.
That’s on me, not him. Whether I trusted him or not, I should have told him because he has a right to the truth—and yes, I had plenty of opportunities to tell him after I found out about the phone number mix-up. The guilt still eats at me, but there’s nothing I can do about it now except move forward.
Oh, and apologize at some point.
Mark’s still chatting about Luke, but the topic soon changes, some of which I tune out. Maybe I tuned him out too hard as he calls my name twice.
“Liv?”
I blink again, then look at him. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I was asking if you wanted to go out after your shift. Grab a beer or something. Or dinner.”
Startled, I stare at him, trying to decipher what he’s saying. Is he asking me out? Well, obviously…but is he asking me out on a date?
His expression is open and earnest, and nothing about it indicates that this is anything more than a friendly invite. He’s giving off a friend vibe, after all. Again, I relax.
It would be fun, but…
“I can’t, I’m sorry. I have stuff to do.”
“Oh, well, maybe next time.” Mark leans over. “How about?—”
“Miss Davis, I need to speak with you right away.”
My nerves jump at the sound of Luke’s voice, closer than I anticipated. My body heats up, too, which is ridiculous, but it’s a good thing I’m good at managing my expressions. I turn to him, surprised when I find him standing right behind me.
Mark nods. “Hey, Luke.”
Luke nods back, then ignores him as he keeps his gaze on me. I clear my throat.
“Dr. Jennings…”
“I’ll wait in my office.”
There’s a cool, almost cold tinge to his voice, and I don’t blame him. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I would probably be even angrier if I were in his shoes. Before I can open my mouth to respond, Mark speaks.
“He’s in a mood again. But it’s your lunch break, so you have a right to stay here longer.”
I glance at my watch. “Actually, I’m past my lunch break.”
“Oh. Oops. I talk too much.” Mark grins sheepishly. “Sorry for getting you in trouble.”
“It’s fine. I’m not in trouble. And it was nice chatting with you.”
“We can probably chat more when we get that drink or dinner. Just let me know when you’re free.”
I nod but don’t confirm, already distracted as I get up to make my way back to the office. When I get there, Luke spears his gaze straight at me.
“You shouldn’t be entertaining Mark that much. He has quite the reputation.”
“What reputation?”
“Playboy. He sleeps around with his work colleagues. Preferably the nurses and medical assistants.”
I’m surprised by that, mostly because there are no signs—and either Wanda, Maria, or Jasper are usually the first to tell me. But I suppose those three haven’t seen me around Mark much, since we interact during quiet hours, and my lunch hour doesn’t coincide with theirs as often anymore.
“We’re friends. That’s all there is to it.”
Luke continues frowning. “But if you spend time with him like that, especially in public, people are going to think you’re more than friends.”
My back goes up. But I take a deep breath to control my temper, not about to let him get to me while he’s in a mood. I don’t know what’s up his ass, but it’s not pleasant and I’ve had enough of it.
“Is that why you called me to your office? To warn me off Mark and pry into my personal life?”
My voice is as cool as his. Good. But I’m not prepared for the sudden shift in his expression, the tension leaving his face and frustration taking over.
He rubs a hand over it and sighs. Then he crosses the distance between us, stopping in front of me until I can smell him. When he speaks, the coolness is gone and there’s a softness there…and uncertainty.
“No. That’s not what I called you in for.”
“Luke? What’s wrong?”
My hands itch to reach out, but I keep them beside me. Worry flits in. Is he sick?
Dark brown eyes bore into mine. “I want to see Riley.”
Just like that, my back goes up again. It’s an instinctive reaction more than anything, along with wanting to back away and tell him an instant no. But I can’t do that.
Instead, I study him. Aside from the softness and uncertainty, there’s an earnest vibe to him, too…and nerves. I rarely see Luke nervous—hell, probably never—and it’s such a strange sight.
Later, I recall all the visible emotions he went through when he first found out that Riley was his daughter: Shock that it was true. Anger that I kept it a secret.
Dismay that he never got to be in his daughter’s life.
Out of all of them, the last part hits me the most, and I don’t want to see it on him again. I take a deep breath, willing myself to let go of my pride and that incessant selfishness of wanting to keep Riley to myself.
She’s mine, but she’s not just mine—and it’s time for me to learn how to share.
“Okay.”
My answer catches Luke off-guard, his expression stunned. But he recovers quickly.
“Okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
“That’s…that’s great.”
“But there are ground rules.”
This time, he eyes me warily. “What ground rules?”
“It needs to be scheduled. You can’t just show up anytime you want.”
At that, Luke looks offended. “Of course not. I was going to ask you about scheduling.”
“Okay, good.” I bite my lip, then flush when his gaze strays there. I clear my throat. “It’s just that she’s used to stability, even after we moved here. I don’t want to take that away from her.”
“I don’t, either. Anything else?”
“You can’t tell her you’re her father. Not yet.”
His eyes flash and his body stiffens, ready to argue with me. But I can see his gears turning, too, and he eventually realizes what I’m getting at. Luke tilts his head and gives me a considering look.
“You think it will affect her?”
“Yes. She’s only asked about her dad twice, and I never gave her a definite answer. All she knows is that he’s not a part of our lives. She’s still too young to find out you’re her dad after such a short time, so…”
“We ease it in. We only tell her after I spend more time with her.”
“And if she likes you.” At his look, I shrug. “That’s a factor. If she’s not comfortable, then I have to cut this off.”
His jaw clenches. I’m not going to lie, I can’t stop glancing at the hard lines. “Cutting it off is harsh.”
“Fine. Postpone, maybe. But her comfort is my priority.”
He nods, accepting that. “If all of this is supposed to discourage me…”
“I’m not trying to discourage you.” I sigh. “I’m trying to do the best for her. Riley…she’s your daughter, I know, but you have to understand that I was with her first. I know her inside out and I want only the best for her. That includes how she finds out about her father.”
“I want that, too.”
“Hmm.”
“And I’m not giving up or getting discouraged.”
He’s so stubborn. Strangely, I see some of that in Riley, too…and if I’m being honest with myself, I see a lot of Luke’s personality in Riley minus the broody, scowling persona. I can’t be too sentimental about it, though, not when I have to approach this with a clear head.
I nod. “Okay. Last thing.”
“What?”
“We have to return to our professional setup here.”
At that, he takes another step closer. “What has that got to do with anything?”
His nearness…it’s enough to take my breath away. Just last week, I was moaning his name and clinging to him while he was fucking me so thoroughly, the image embedded in my brain for nights on end. With how much I was starving for pleasure and how good he was giving it to me, I would probably have let him go on and take me in all kinds of positions, everything else be damned.
But that was before he found out my biggest secret.
“It’s everything. I don’t want whatever’s happening between us to affect this. It’s too important, Luke.” My voice softens. “She’s too important, so if we want to make this work…”
“She’s the priority. She’s the focus.”
“Yes.”
Silence. A part of me wonders if he’ll back off from all the rules I’ve set, but the bigger shock is that I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Before I can decide, Luke clears his throat.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, Liv.” He looks me in the eye. “I’ll play by your rules for now. When is she free?”
The “for now” part has me frowning, but I have a feeling that bringing it up now will only make this even more complicated. So I set it aside and nod.
“She’s free during the weekends.”
“Saturday after lunch?”
“Yeah.”
“And I can drop by your house and spend time with her there?”
Luke at our house? My house? I swallow but nod again.
“Yeah.”
“Good. I’ll see you and Riley there.”
I have time to register that it’s already Friday before Luke marches off, returns to his desk, and gets to reading a new case study right away. I stay where I am, my nerves getting the best of me. Because this is it.
Luke is going to be a part of my daughter’s life now.
And whether I like it or not, that means he’s also going to be a part of mine.