20. Luke
Istand in silence, the words that spilled out of me hanging between us like a cloud. I could have kept it in and continued the easygoing flow with Olivia, but it’s unfair. I’ve been unfair to Carol, too, putting all the blame on her shoulders, and I guess I don’t want to be unfair to Olivia and repeat the same mistake.
I brace myself for her judgment—for the shift from compassion to disgust, for her to step back from whatever this is between us. It will hurt like hell, but it’s something I have to accept once I show her the real me…
“People change.”
The quiet statement has confusion settling in as I search her gaze and realize there’s no disgust.
“What?”
I still wait for it to come, but instead, Olivia steps forward and reaches out to cup my cheek.
“Just because you were like that before doesn’t mean you’re like that now.” Her thumb traces my cheek, a soft movement that leaves me breathless—and vulnerable. “So she doesn’t have any right to judge you now.”
“Liv…”
“Listen, I wasn’t kidding about what I said earlier. The Luke she had with her is none of my business and will never be. But the Luke I know now, the one I got to know both in the hospital and outside…” Her hand moves from my cheek to my chest, my heart beating wildly. “He’s a good father—the kind who makes time for Riley and does his best to make her happy. He spends so much quality time with her and makes her feel special, making up for lost time in more ways than one.”
Every word soothes me like a balm, but I can’t help but want more. “And you?”
“You respect my wishes and my competence, and you treat me fairly in our work environment.”
“And personally?” My hand clasps the one on my chest, my tone turning demanding.
She swallows, but her shoulders straighten and her eyes soften. “You make me feel safe. You make me feel that my voice and feelings matter. I trust you.”
Trust is such a fragile word, and the way she says she trusts me with no hesitation has me floored. My hand squeezes hers…then pulls her closer because there’s no way in hell that I can let her go now after she revealed something so vulnerable to me—in turn, making me feel vulnerable, too.
To my relief, there’s no resistance. But she tilts her head up and gives me a stubborn look.
“I have my shortcomings, too, Luke.”
“Oh?”
“I’m prickly and defensive. I can be stubborn as hell and my pride can often get the best of me.”
“I know all that.” I rest my forehead against hers, a light touch that allows me to nuzzle her cheek, too. “I love all that. You make one hell of a good motivational coach, did you know that?”
Her laugh tickles me with her warm breath, and I can’t help but steal it from her. It’s a kiss charged with this intimate, raw tension between us, our bodies like magnets drawn together until there’s no more space between us. Maybe it’s this honest conversation that brought it out, but I have a feeling it’s every single moment we’ve had together stacking into this one.
I slant my mouth against hers and nip at her bottom lip to cajole her moans out. I don’t know who tugs us out of the hallway, but soon we’re in my bedroom and blindly backing toward the bed. I have to stop and angle the kiss deeper when she starts palming my erection, needing to anchor myself before this ends too soon.
I want to savor her. I want to fucking worship her, and I realize there’s no perfect time than tonight.
Clothes come off. Inhibitions are next, our hunger for more tangling in a cloud of desire. I stop again to stare at her breasts illuminated by the dim bedroom lights, so perfect that my mouth’s wrapping around one in no time.
Taut, pert nipples stiffen even more for me when I suck on them, and her moans…fuck. My cock aches even more every time one slips out of her lips. Then it becomes my personal quest to make her sing a melody of pleasure as my mouth trails down every erogenous zone I can find, all while memorizing her curves all over again.
Olivia spreads for me, wet and wanton—the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Then she’s actively tugging on my cock, desperately pulling me on top of her until our labored breaths are tangled again. I look into her eyes, seeing the consent there.
But I want more.
“Do you want me inside you, baby?”
She nods. I take her hand and flatten it on the mattress under mine, kissing her neck and concentrating on a soft, sensitive spot. My voice is like gravel when I speak, too turned on to be anything else.
“You have to say it, Liv. I’m not a mind reader.”
She whines at my teasing. Her voice cracks when she answers.
“I want you inside me.”
I suck on her neck until she arches. “What do you want inside you?”
“Your cock. I want it inside me.”
In response, I wrap a condom from the drawer on my cock and position it at her entrance, sliding it up and down until her entrance is slicker. It’s not even in yet and her heat is already driving me crazy. Anticipation hums in my bones as I want to bury myself inside her, but a part of me must be a masochist as I stay where I am, every muscle strained and depriving us both.
“Doing what, baby?”
She whimpers. “Fucking me. I want you to fuck me, Luke. Please. I want you to do things to me.”
Fuck. As if that’s not enough, her hips surge up, grinding against my cock so hard that I begin to see stars. I curse out loud, all the teasing gone as desperation takes over.
Gripping her hips to still her movements, I slide my cock in and am rewarded with her gasp, then her plea.
“Luke. Oh, God. Luke.”
I agree. It’s so good each time, so mind-blowingly tight that only a strong man can last against this piece of heaven. I pray that I can stay a strong man for her as I start moving, unable to delay my thrusts any longer and deny us this.
The friction electrifies us. But it’s her moans echoing in the room and her nails digging into my shoulders that elevate everything, making me hyperaware of her and feverish in my need. I release her lips every time I withdraw my cock, then kiss her harder with every plunge in, the respite doing nothing but build the fire in our bodies higher.
When she trembles and comes with no warning, my eyes cross as I feel every clench of muscle to the pits of my soul. How I manage to hold on is a feat in itself, one that I don’t take for granted as I keep going, my satisfaction surging at her surprise when she comes down from her high. Then the pleasure is building for her again until it joins mine, her legs locking around me in a wordless plea to move faster.
Harder.
I do as asked. The mattress squeaks and the headboard rattles, but they’re inconsequential to the wet warmth that tightens around me to the point of no return. When I can feel my thighs tingling and the tingles spreading higher, I pay special attention to her nipples, plucking them in time with my thrusts before my fingers slide downward to find her clit.
I trace that as I drill into her, then flick as I grind. Her second orgasm arches her body so tightly against mine that her nipples scrape my chest—and that’s the only trigger I need to explode, spurting wave after wave of my seed along with my pleasure inside her.
She clenches and clenches, then lets go. She lets me experience the extension of her climax with her grazing nails and her steady whimpers before both head to a standstill and she collapses. I want to collapse, too, but I take care to dispose of the condom first and roll us around so I don’t crush her.
Olivia spreads herself half on top of me, too exhausted to move. But her lips find my shoulder and kiss it.
“How does it get better every time?”
I can’t help but smirk at her question. “I don’t know.”
“Do you think it will get better every time all the time, or do you think it will stop getting better at some point?”
My fingers caress her back, silky and warm. Addictive. “We probably have to keep doing it to find out.”
Laughter echoes from her throat, coating us with another level of warmth.
“You just want an excuse to fuck me.”
Make love, my brain corrects, but I don’t say it out loud. I don’t want to ruin the moment and how comfortable she is against me. But the words are already stuck in my brain, swirling like a mantra until I can feel her deep, even breathing on my skin.
Make love. It’s a heavy word, the most intimate form there is when it comes to sharing bodies. Love itself is heavy, but the feelings I have for Olivia can no longer be classified as just lust—not when we’ve crossed the border long after we’ve decided to spend more time together beyond sex.
Fuck, who am I kidding? I’m crazy about her. I’m falling for her in a way I’ve never fallen for anyone else, not even Carol.
But committing? That’s another thing altogether. I’ve tried it once and failed terribly.
I’m committing now with Riley and failing can’t be an option, not when that little girl is also everything to me. But Olivia…if I try with her and fail, then it will leave the biggest trauma not just to me but to two others who deserve everything the world has to offer.
I can’t do that to them. I have to be steadfast for my daughter.
And that means I can’t give in to Olivia until I’m a hundred percent sure I won’t fail her like I did Carol.
Because losing Olivia—and Riley—might just be a hundred times worse.