26. Luke
Iwish Olivia would answer at least one of my texts. I know she’s probably busy with work already, but I miss her so much and would like some time with her before my schedule today swallows me up. Because fate seems to be working against that little reunion, I hurry to the hospital instead, comforted with the knowledge that at least I’ll get a glimpse of her—maybe even steal a kiss or two—before I head to my first surgery assessment of the day.
But I’m stopped short when I don’t find her in the office. Instead, I find Wanda seated in Olivia’s chair and typing on the keyboard.
“Wanda? How can I help you?”
She shoots up at my presence, attempting a smile but not quite genuine with it. She studies my confused expression and looks confused, too, before that disappears and she clears her throat.
“Dr. Jennings. I’m just finishing up a report that you’re tasked to read later—additional notes for your patient appointment this afternoon…”
I shake my head, not quite understanding. “No, I mean, why are you doing Liv’s work?”
She opens her mouth, then closes it. Wanda blinks. “I’m your temporary assistant until you get a new one…well, partial assistant since I’m also still working with Dr. Lowe?—”
“Where the hell is Liv?”
Her eyes widen at the edge of my tone. But I can no longer focus beyond the next statement she drops.
“She sent in her immediate resignation this morning, Dr. Jennings.”
Shock slams into me, sending me reeling. I open my mouth to ask more questions—demand an explanation—but I finally get a semblance of my reaction from Wanda’s reaction and realize I’m about to cross a line. So I suck in a breath, not wanting Wanda involved or even asking questions.
But I have to get to the bottom of this.
“I see. Thank you, Wanda. You may continue.”
I don’t care if she continues or not. I slip out and march toward James’s office, continuously calling Olivia, only to be greeted by her voicemail every time. What’s going on?
Did something happen that I don’t know about? An emergency at her home?
An emergency with Riley?
My heart thumping, I call Nancy right away and am instantly eased when she confirms that she’s picking Riley up later. James isn’t around when I reach his office, so I go back to mine, intending to grab my coat and?—
“Dr. Jennings, your surgery assessment is scheduled in fifteen minutes.”
I bite back the urge to tell Wanda to stuff the assessment where the sun doesn’t shine, realizing this is one I can’t miss. But my focus doesn’t return. I’m lost in thought when I stay in the operating room and am on autopilot when I cater to my only patient for the day, who also can’t be rescheduled since this is the only day Mr. Emmett can come to New York for his appointment.
Thankfully, that appointment ends quickly because I can’t take it anymore.
“I’m leaving early. Tell them to call me if there’s an emergency.”
“But—”
“I’m sure you want to know as much as I do where the hell Liv went, Wanda.”
There goes my plan not to cross the line. But it shuts Wanda up, her eyes widening, then speculating, before worry creases her forehead and she finally nods at me. She hesitates, then?—
“She hasn’t been answering my calls. Please tell her to text me if she’s safe. I’m worried.”
I don’t know if it means that she figured me and Liv out, but my gut instinct tells me she’s a loyal friend and would want to hear the truth from Liv first. I nod and am off. It doesn’t help that Wanda’s last words ring in my mind and make me paranoid, wondering if the emergency involves bodily injuries or something worse.
The traffic drives me crazy and I’m beyond my calm state when I finally get to Brooklyn and stop in front of her apartment. I knock and call, expecting no one to answer and unsure if I should go check on Riley’s school next?—
The door opens. My body jolts in surprise, but my world straightens back on its axis when I find Olivia staring at me. She’s in jeans and a plain shirt—and she’s okay.
Unharmed. Uninjured. I let out a breath, feeling like a thorn has been lifted off my chest.
“Luke?”
I glare at her. “You worried Wanda. You worried me. We thought something happened to you.”
“Wanda?”
“She’s my temporary assistant. Because I was told you resigned.” Puzzled and still worried—and yes, feeling just a bit betrayed when she doesn’t react to my words, indicating she’s not surprised by this news, I take a deep breath. “And I’m supposed to be the first one to know these things?—”
“You shouldn’t have come here.”
I blink, the indignance halting and replaced with more confusion. More worry. “What? What are you talking about?”
She opens the door wider. I step forward, then stop when I realize it’s not to let me in.
“This weekend, I got into some thinking. And I realize things between us are getting too serious, and it’s starting to overwhelm me. I think we needed that space, Luke…and I think we need more of that space.”
What?
There’s a roaring in my ears and dread tightening my stomach. There’s a blur in my head, the words alien…then, clear as day in her expression. But I’m still so baffled.
“What are you saying, Liv?”
Silence.
“I’m saying I think it’s best if we don’t see each other for now. Other than you spending time with Riley, I mean.”
What?
My body jolts again, and the sensation is doubled this time. It’s also painful, connecting me to something boiling inside me since I first saw how okay she looked after worrying about her the last few hours: anger.
And in my anger, I lash out. Quietly.
“That’s not what you felt when I had you in bed last week.”
It’s the wrong thing to say. Something flashes in her eyes before she banks it down and shakes her head.
“That was sex. You’re good at sex, so of course, I end up getting things confused. But my mind’s clearer now.”
“Clearer about what?”
If her first words hit me hard, the next ones hit me harder.
“That you are too much. That I’m not ready for whatever this is. That I want to chase my dreams and you are kind of?—”
She stops, but it’s too late. I rear back, hearing what she’s not saying, and punched with the truth I hear in it. But it’s the detached way she handles the aftermath that truly sinks in for me—like she’s gotten over it already.
Like she’s gotten over me.
A cold sensation wraps around my spine before it spreads throughout the rest of my body.
“So it was just sex to you?”
She opens her mouth, then closes it. I latch on to the movement, an ache pulling at my system before I get hit with reality.
“We had an attraction, Luke. It’s not your fault that I want nothing to do with it anymore.”
Had. Past tense.
God. She sounds fucking cold.
“And the resignation?”
She shrugs. “I got a good offer elsewhere. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but it’s a good thing. We both get a clean slate.”
“And you fucking decided all of this yourself?”
Her eyes flare at my response before her shoulders stiffen and her chin lifts.
“Yes, Luke. Because I’m doing this for myself. And that has nothing to do with you.”
The thorn in my chest returns, but it’s not only that. There’s an invisible knife digging at my ribs, too, and making it hard to breathe. I get what she’s trying to say, but denial is a strong emotion pulsing in my system.
It mixes with everything else. It messes me up.
“Tell me one thing, Liv.”
“What?”
I lean in. “Tell me you felt nothing for me when we were together.”
Surprise sparks in her features. Her lips part and the yearning inside me increases, wanting to get past whatever this is…waiting for her to tell me that this is some stupid joke and I mean the world to her, just as she means the world to me.
But her lips snap shut and she looks me in the eye. Cool. Firm.
Final.
“Riley’s my priority. My dreams come second. I’m sorry, Luke, but my mind’s made up. Let’s just act civil for our daughter. I’ll text you for the next playdate.”
Translation: You’re not a part of those dreams.
You’re not a part of my life.
Anger rises like a storm. Then the hurt batters me inside out until I can no longer speak, but it doesn’t matter.
Because as soon as Olivia sees that I’m done talking, she closes the door to my face.
I stay angry for days. I bask in it, preferring it to the hurt that drives me fucking crazy and makes it impossible to even function. That anger fuels me into continuing to go to the hospital, determined for things to be normal because I’m confident that things will return to normal—as in Olivia will pick up my call, tell me how much she misses me, and tell me she does want to get back together.
Following that is her return to the hospital, where she belongs. I might need more convincing to accept her apology, but I know in my heart that I can’t resist her and will probably be the first to take her in my arms.
But a week into calling, texting, and realizing she hasn’t replied once other than to confirm a playdate with Riley two weekends later, my anger comes crashing down on me when a couple of things flash into my mind: she’s not coming back. She’s not changing her mind.
Olivia doesn’t want me anymore.
Anger turns into misery. Misery makes it hard to keep up the confidence, and soon, any reason to go to the hospital—or even do anything beyond rolling out of bed—feels pointless. I call in sick in the next couple of days, only pulling myself out of it when there’s yet another scheduled surgery that I can’t miss.
It’s just my luck that Kyle is the first person to greet me when I finally manage to pull myself together. He scrutinizes my face first.
“A little birdie told me that you’ve become a monster since your medical assistant quit on you.”
“You can tell that little birdie to fuck off.”
Kyle’s lips quirk, but his brows betray his worry. Not wanting to face that, I sidestep him. But the man is tenacious, following me in my office and sitting his ass on the edge of the table beside mine.
Olivia’s table…or it was hers, at least. Fuck. I miss her so much.
But I hate how she dumped me so much.
I hate that I know I won’t be over it, and my next playdate with Riley will probably be messy as hell. On cue, I take out my phone to check for a reply—and realize too late that Kyle’s still watching me.
“Your phone didn’t ring. Which means you’re waiting for a message. And since the little birdie told me that your medical assistant filed an immediate resignation, I’m going to assume…”
At that, I stop him with a sharp look.
“Nothing. You assume and people will talk. You assume and you’ll jeopardize someone’s reputation, and she can’t even defend herself because she’s not here anymore.”
If anything, that confirms his assumptions. But I know Kyle. He takes in my words in silence, then nods.
“Hmm. Point taken.” He holds up his hands. “And hey, no malice here. My little birdie is just concerned.”
Wanda.I don’t even blame her for calling me a monster because that’s exactly how I’ve been acting lately. My shoulders relax a bit when I realize Wanda didn’t tell Kyle anything—he’s just smart enough to put two and two together.
Kyle tilts his head. “So, I take it you’re returning full time to the hospital now?”
“Hmm.”
“Good. I’ve been covering for your absence, and honestly? I can’t stand your patients.”
My lips quirk at that. “That’s because they demand the best. And you’re not even a neurosurgeon.”
“I’m the only one they can pull last minute. And I am the best at my field, which is what I mostly discussed with your patients, anyway. So, I take it you got dumped and your assistant moved on?”
He means it in a work-related manner, I think, but my heart sees it differently—and just like that, it cracks again, reality hitting me so hard that my knees almost buckle. I manage to control myself in front of Kyle, though, and jerk toward the door.
“Stop gossiping and go do your thing.”
“If you mean charming the hospital staff and other patients, sure. By the way, just because I can’t stand your patients doesn’t mean they hate me. On the contrary…”
“Steal them all you want.”
He chuckles, understanding I don’t mean that. Despite what he says, I do like most of my patients. But the memory of the patients that I don’t like reminds me of the patient who was rude to Olivia—and just like that, she’s in my orbit again and I’m a miserable fool.
I strap it all down and get to work. My mood doesn’t improve when I find out that James isn’t in today and all HR can say is that Olivia’s resignation was cleared by the director before it even got to them. When I reach one of the staff lounges and hear laughter, I almost want to leave the hospital.
Which I can’t.
I still have to turn a corner to see them since they seem to be in one of the corner couches, but I’m already scowling and more than ready to spread my damn mood like a disease.
“You seem to be in a good mood lately, Mark,” someone says, to which Mark responds with another laugh. It grates on my already frayed nerves.
“Why wouldn’t I be? Golf yesterday was so much fun.”
“It was, but how come I’m not in such a good mood?”
“Well, I just got a promotion.”
“Oh, wow, Mark, I didn’t know. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” There’s a hum. Then Mark clears his throat. “And just between us, there’s one more cause for my good mood.”
“What is it?”
“I finally got a snotty bitch knocked down from her pedestal—one who’s been looking down her little nose at me since she met me.”
“What? Who?”
Mark chuckles. “You don’t have to know. Let’s just say she pretends to be this little angel when all she’s really doing is spreading her legs like a whore?—”
Black coats my vision, comprehension dawning slowly. I’m already rounding the corner, but I stop when I hear a howl of protest and Maria’s apologetic voice. But her tone doesn’t match the vengeful look in her eyes.
“Oh! I’m so sorry, Dr. Reynolds. The cup got out of my hands by accident.”
Said cup is on the floor while water dampens Mark’s trousers—hot water. He glares at Maria, but Wanda abruptly places herself in between them.
“Such clumsy hands, Maria.” Wanda takes Maria’s shoulders and turns her away from the two men, then offers Mark a thin smile. “Sorry about that, Dr. Reynolds. I hope your crotch doesn’t burn.”
Yet her voice sounds like she wants the man to burn in hell—which means I’m not imagining what I heard, no matter how subtle Mark tried to place it. Holy shit.
Wanda ushers Maria away…and meets my gaze. Then her gaze flicks toward my hands before she practically drags her friend out of the lounge. Realization washes over me that my hands are fisted and I’m seconds away from going in there and punching Mark. No, not just punching, but messing him up so badly that his face won’t be recognizable by the time I’m done.
But the truth hits me harder, flooding me back with the memory of my last encounter with Olivia…of the questions I had that are now answered. In full fucking color. Because it’s not confusing at all, not anymore.
She didn’t break up with me because she didn’t want me. I’m sure of it now.
And I’m about to find out more.
I still want to mess Mark up. I’m almost blinded by it. But I know that will just get me in trouble, and I want to be in a position where I have leverage more than trouble.
So I turn around, putting as much space between me and the asshole as my brain scrambles a mile a minute. I call Kyle to ask him to continue covering for me after the surgery today.
Then I call James’s medical assistant, determined to get to the bottom of where he is—and the answers that I need.