Chapter 16 - Poppy
I feel myself stirring long before I can open my eyes, my eyelids heavy, as if weighed down by lead. I drag in a breath that burns my throat like it’s scorched.
Coughing and spluttering as I finally open my eyes, I try to bring a hand to my mouth when I feel a restraint around my wrist stopping my arm halfway up. I frown as I look down, vision blurred, only to discover that I’m chained to a bed.
Thick silver cuffs bind chains to metal posts on either side of me, and in shock I try to sit upright, but I fail another attempt to move. Dragging my eyes down to the coldness around my ankles, I see that there are more cuffs around them, binding me to the foot of the bed.
My face contorts with confusion, my head throbbing as it becomes nearly impossible to make out where I am. I can hardly remember what I was doing to end up here, on this bed, in what appears to be the Nightclaw clinic.
I recognize the white tiles with a strip of blue mosaic patterns running across the middle of the wall on my left.
But why am I here…?
Where’s Daniel?
“Daniel?!” I exclaim as the flicker of a memory flashes across my mind.
Daniel was missing. He’d been kidnapped from outside the school. And then…
I don’t know what happened.
Except that I must have been hurt. It would explain the nauseating pain that suddenly shoots through my veins, blooming from my neck like a venomous bite. And the more I focus on that pain, the more it grows outward, and nothing can stop its torture.
Not even my inner wolf.
I can’t even feel her…
Gasping as I look down at my bound wrist, I suspect that the cuff is made of silver, not just binding me to the bed, but severing me from my inner wolf so that I can’t feel her.
Instinctively, I try reaching for my neck, needing the one source of reassurance I can find in moments like these. But my hands can’t reach my neck, and the coolness of the chain is missing.
I gasp as I look down, only to find my chest bare where the pendant should be.
Crap!
“Poppy…?”
Ingrid’s voice snaps my head up, and I see her standing at the door with Connor beside her.
“You’re awake!” she cries out in relief, and my brows furrow when she doesn’t immediately come inside.
Instead, she turns to her husband, and he whispers something quietly in her ear before she nods tentatively and steps in. He closes the door behind her, but his shadow darkens the frosted glass between the wooden frame.
It’s like he’s standing guard outside.
“What’s going on, Ingrid?” I ask when she doesn’t move away from the door, her eyes flitting around the room as if she’s hesitant. “Why am I tied to this bed?”
I flinch when another sharp bout of pain shoots through my neck, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
“Don’t you remember, Poppy?”
I shake my head even through the pain. “Where’s Daniel?”
“He’s fine, Poppy. You found him—”
Relief washes over me as I throw my head back into the pillow, tears slipping from the corners of my eyes.
“Is he hurt?”
“No. The witches didn’t touch him. Thank Goddess for that. When Damian—”
The moment Ingrid mentions his name, my chest tightens, my head throbbing violently now. Flickers of blurred images flash through my mind.
Running through the woods…
Getting ambushed by a group of hooded, sinister figures…
Something pricking the side of my neck before I blacked out…
Waking up in an old, abandoned warehouse and finding Daniel locked in one of the rooms…
Sensing Damian approaching and going out to call for his help, only to feel the claws of some ruthless, unseen force gripping me until I couldn’t stop my shift.
I gasp when I recall the horrified look in Damian’s eyes before he shifted and stood in front of me, growling at the other werewolves.
And I shut my eyes when I remember dealing the blow that knocked him out.
“No… No… I killed—”
“He’s still alive, Poppy,” Ingrid assures me, still hanging by the door as if she’s afraid I’ll hurt her, too.
I look up with tears clouding my vision as Ingrid goes on to explain everything that happened. After I attacked Damian, the wolves were able to capture me when I collapsed from the shock of what I’d done.
We’d been brought back to Cedar Valley, where Damian is recovering in the next room, and Daniel is safe with Luna Diane.
I probably lost my mother’s necklace out there…
“I don’t know what’s going on with me, Ingrid,” I sob, closing my eyes as my veins begin to feel like they’re burning. “I’m so glad they’re both okay. But I’m not, and I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
No matter how angry I’ve been at Damian, I’d never hurt him. Not like that.
Ingrid sighs. “Sister Aoife has run some tests on you. She believes that the dark witches poisoned you with something that has turned you rabid. The witches are working on a way—”
No… a dark, menacing voice bleats through my eardrums.
“No more witches!” I lash out abruptly, shocking myself at the pitch in my voice, but it feels uncontrollable.
Ingrid freezes.
Fear flashes across her face before she masks it with compassion, and seeing that fear directed at me tears another piece out of my heart.
Turning my face away in shame, I let more tears fall, feeling like I’m going insane.
“I’m sorry, Ingrid. I’m really sorry. Whatever happens, keep Daniel safe, okay?”
“Nothing will happen, Poppy. Everyone is working hard to find a way to reverse the poison. We’re not giving up on you.”
Words that should have been comforting feel like a heavy weight hanging on my shoulders, like I’m a burden to everyone around me, a threat to the ones I love.
I turn my face slowly toward her, noticing that she’s coming closer now, and I shake my head.
“Don’t come any closer, Ingrid. It isn’t safe. I feel so…so unpredictable.”
Ingrid stops and nods slowly. “Do you want to see Daniel? We’ll make sure—”
“No,” I interject quickly, firmly. “Don’t let Daniel see me in this position.
It’s not safe…” I whimper, pain slicing through me as I think about my son and how scared he must have been.
I can’t imagine what he thinks of me if he saw me attacking Damian.
I’m too ashamed of myself to let him come anywhere near me.
Not now. Not when I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.
“If he’s with Diane, if he has you and Connor, he’ll be okay. ”
“He has Damian, too…” she reminds me softly, and another bout of distress ripples through me.
The mention of his name makes my stomach churn violently.
I squeeze my eyes shut, another wave of burning pain racing beneath my skin until it feels as though my blood has turned to molten metal, every vein inside my body threatening to split open.
My fingers curl instinctively into the mattress, the silver cuffs biting into my wrists hard enough to draw a sharp hiss from between my teeth.
“I hurt him,” I whisper hoarsely, unable to stop seeing it every time I blink. “I saw his face, Ingrid… I knew it was him, and I still…” My throat closes around the words. “I attacked him.”
You did what you were meant to do… That voice enters my head again, and I press my eyelids tightly, trying to push it away.
“You weren’t yourself.”
“But I was!” I cry, shaking my head frantically.
“I remember enough. I remember begging him to take Daniel and leave. I remember trying to fight whatever was happening to me.” My breathing grows ragged as I press the back of my head against the pillow.
“I knew I was losing control, and I still couldn’t stop it. ”
Ingrid’s eyes soften with heartbreaking sympathy. “That’s exactly why none of us blame you, Poppy.”
“You should.” The words leave me before I can stop them. “You should all blame me,” I insist, my voice cracking beneath the weight of everything crushing me. “If I hadn’t gone after Daniel alone…if I’d just waited…none of this would’ve happened.”
“No,” Ingrid says firmly, taking another cautious step before stopping herself again. “The only people responsible for this are the dark witches.”
“Did they find the witches at the warehouse?” I ask, and Ingrid shakes her head.
“By the time the others searched the warehouse, whoever had been there was gone. They only found you and Daniel,” Ingrid reveals.
As the pieces of my fractured memory return in fragments, realization slowly rolls over me. “They knew exactly what they were doing.”
I stare blankly at the ceiling, remembering those crimson eyes watching me from beneath dark hoods. The needle piercing my neck. The icy sensation spreading through my body before it became fiery.
Monster…
“They didn’t want Daniel. They wanted me.”
The realization settles between us like a stone sinking to the bottom of a lake.
“They took Daniel because they knew I’d follow. I’m sure of it.” Another shudder tears through my body. “They used my son as bait. And I walked exactly where they wanted me to “
Silence follows, thick enough to suffocate me.
Then, quietly, Ingrid asks, “Do you remember anything else? Anything about the warehouse? About the witches?”
I close my eyes, forcing myself to sift through the scattered fragments still floating around inside my head.
“There were... five of them.” I swallow hard. “Maybe six. They all wore black robes.” Another flicker surfaces. “One of them...” My brows knit together painfully. “When they took me to the warehouse, and I was stirring awake, she touched my face and said something to the others.”
A violent tremor rips through my body. “She said…” I whisper, and my heart begins pounding as the words, her voice, become clearer, almost like the dark voice inside my head, bleeding terror into my eardrums. “She said, ‘Let’s see if the Alpha still loves his mate when she becomes the very thing he swore to destroy.’“
The room falls deadly silent. Even Connor shifts outside the door as if he’s heard me.
Ingrid’s face drains of color. “Oh, Goddess...” she murmurs.
A hollow laugh escapes me, one completely devoid of humor. “They weren’t trying to kill me.” Fresh tears spill onto the pillow. “They wanted to turn me into a monster.” My voice breaks completely then. “And they succeeded.”
“None of us are going to rest until we can fix this,” Ingrid assures me, and I’m riddled by more guilt.
If I didn’t go after Daniel alone… If I had just waited…
Even worse… If only I told Damian about him before everything blew up like this…
I wouldn’t be in this position.
“I promise you, Poppy. You’ll get through this.”
“Just promise me you’ll take care of Daniel…” I whisper, eyes burning with fresh tears. “Tell him I love him. Tell him that I didn’t think it would be like this.” I turn my face to Ingrid. “And tell him who his father is. He deserves to know.”
Ingrid’s eyes are full of tears as she nods tentatively, then begins backing up toward the door as she gulps. “I promise, Poppy. I will be back to check up on you, okay?”
All I can manage is a tense nod as I turn my face to the ceiling, letting the tears spill out as I listen to Ingrid leaving the room.
I know she’ll take good care of Daniel, and I know she’ll come back to check up on me again.
But as I lie there, bound to the bed, I wonder if Damian is alright, if he’ll ever be able to look at me without seeing the monster I have become, and if he’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done.
Because I don’t think I can forgive myself.
This is all your fault, Poppy Barnes…