Chapter 17 - Damian #2
I finally get to my feet, feeling stronger than ever, determined to put the past behind me—behind us—and claim the future according to our own terms.
Poppy’s well-being is what matters now. Not my wounded ego, or the victim mentality I’ve been clinging to this whole time.
And as soon as I enter her room, I’m hit with another wave of regret.
Poppy is tied to the bed with metal chains and cuffs like a criminal, her face turned away from the door as if she’s too ashamed to face anyone.
“Poppy…?”
She turns her head slowly, brows furrowed tightly as her eyes land on me.
“Damian…? What are you doing here?”
I crack my neck to the side, settling into the distant ache as it feels like the medication Dorian gave me is doing what it needs to, and I advance into the room, closing the door behind me without removing my eyes from hers.
“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” I ask, and she turns her face to the ceiling.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. Not after what happened. After what I did.”
My heart hurts for her, every bone in my body aching, and not from her attack. It’s her refusal to look at me, the way her lips are pursed, and the way she’s tied to the bed like she’s guilty of the gravest sin that has me riddled with guilt.
“I know it wasn’t you who tried to hurt me.”
Poppy remains silent, and that silence stretches for miles between us, almost as vast and distant as the years we spent apart.
“But it was,” she finally whispers. “I did hurt you. And I hurt you in the past when I left.”
She turns to me then, and her hazel eyes are soft and sad. Not dark and demented like the crimson eyes of the rabid wolf I met yesterday, but the eyes of the woman who scarred me for a decade.
Those eyes bring me to my knees, despite all the pain I’ve suffered, despite all the years I spent without knowing my son existed at all.
I should be angry, but the tortured glint in her eyes has me redirecting that anger to myself, realizing that all along, I’ve been the one to blame for the way life turned out.
I could have seen things clearly, could have recognized my fated mate, but I refused to see it, too caught up in the pressure because I never felt like I was strong enough to be the alpha.
I never thought I was worth being the leader of Valley Walker.
And I allowed that insecurity to destroy the most important relationship in my life.
“No, Poppy. Don’t blame yourself,” I say as I hang my head, shoulders slouching with the weight of regret. “I spent ten years convincing myself you abandoned me because you stopped loving me. Maybe…maybe I made it impossible for you to stay…”
Saying those words feels like a weight lifted from my shoulders, and now that I’m here, on my knees in front of her, I must go on. I must get it all off my chest.
“I know you left because of my hesitation, Poppy. And I’ve been blaming everyone this whole time, but there’s something you must know.
” I pause to take a breath as she continues staring into my eyes.
“It had nothing to do with my father, Poppy. It was me. It was my fault. I let Dorian’s abandonment get to me so much that I couldn’t think clearly.
It affected me more than I’d like to admit.
I pushed you away long before that night, and my hesitation felt like rejection because you are my fated mate. ”
Poppy blinks her tears back and sniffs. “I know that now, Damian. Whatever the witches did to me, I recognize you as my fated mate…”
What she says gives me the strength to return to my feet, and I walk toward her, reaching out for her hand.
“You feel it now?”
Tears fall from her eyes now. “Yes…” she breathes. “I do feel it. And I hate myself for letting my insecurities take over. I kept your son away from you for ten years.”
As I take her hand, warmth spreads through my arm from my fingertips like the fated mate bond has been activated fully now.
“I’m sorry I gave you reason to feel insecure. My hesitation—”
Poppy stops me when she squeezes my hand. “No, Damian. I was the one who listened to the rumors going around. You assured me that it was nothing, but that night, when you stood on the stage with Roxanne—”
“Roxanne…?” I gasp as another realization hits me. “I told you, you had nothing to worry about when it came to Roxanne. She’s mated to my beta, Kilian. There was nothing between us.”
Poppy nods slowly as she processes this information, tears still falling from her eyes. “That night when you hesitated, I kept thinking it was because I was nothing like her. Not of high rank. Just an omega. And I doubted you.”
“I gave you reason to doubt me, Poppy. I want to hate you for leaving, for keeping Daniel away from me all these years. But I get it now. I hurt you. And then I went on and kidnapped you and forced you to mate with me, while you’ve been carrying this doubt with you for a decade.”
Poppy gulps as she nods hesitantly. “I really wish you weren’t so understanding. It was easier to hate you,” she murmurs, drawing her hand back and reigniting guilt in my chest.
“We can’t rewrite the past, but we can decide what our future will be like…” I whisper, echoing Dorian’s advice from earlier.
Poppy remains hesitant, her brows furrowing. “I don’t think there is a future for me, Damian. Daniel knows you’re his father, and I need you to promise me that you’ll take care—”
“No,” I cut her off sternly. “You’re not giving up like this. We may have hurt each other, but I am not giving up on you.”
“You have to.”
“I won’t!” I exclaim, leaning in and cupping her cheeks, staring deeply into her eyes. “I don’t know if our relationship can ever be repaired, but I do know that Daniel needs both of us. He needs both his parents. And I need you to fight. We’re going to fix this. You’re gonna get better.”
Without giving it any thought, I crush my lips to hers, disregarding all the hurt and suffering to be in this moment with her, where she knows I’m determined to get her better.
To my surprise, Poppy kisses me with equal passion and fervor, and grabs the back of my head to deepen the kiss. What should be considered insane because of everything going on suddenly feels right, and I can’t stop myself from kissing her harder as my fingers slide into her hair.
She’s moaning on the kiss, her sounds desperate as if she’s trying to breathe me in, and I let her take the reins for a moment. Her fingers suddenly tighten in my hair.
It’s too tight.
Pain blooms across my scalp, and in that moment, something changes, like the air around me becoming colder, Poppy’s lips becoming more frantic.
When she clamps her teeth on my tongue, I freeze, but Poppy doesn’t stop. It’s like my hesitation prompts her to keep going, and that’s when she bites my bottom lip.
I break the kiss abruptly, the mate bond twisting violently in my gut now, and as I pull away, she doesn’t let go, nearly drawing blood with her teeth.
“Poppy!” I gasp breathlessly, shock draining the blood from my face when I meet blood-red crimson eyes glowing with malice.
She smirks like a maniac, and I take a step back.
“What in the…” my horrified voice tapers off, and the horrifyingly dark expression slips off Poppy’s face.
“Damian… Damian!” she panics, wrestling against her restraints, breathing heavily. “What happened? What is happening to me?”
Gulping hard, I step forward and wrap my arms around her shoulders, drawing her to my chest to comfort her as she weeps against me.
“Please help me…” she cries, her body shaking against me. “Please make it stop… Please make the voices go away…”
Voices…?
Whatever the dark witches did to her, Poppy is losing her mind.
As Poppy clings to me, I lift a hand to my mouth and wipe my bottom lip, noticing the blood streaking my forefinger, and I shudder.
I have to help her.
For Daniel’s sake.
And for my own.
No matter what has happened between us, my inner wolf won’t give up. He won’t lose her again.
I won’t lose my mate.