Chapter 6 Who Can I Run To? #2
“I need to get the hell out of here,” she whispered in his ear.
“I told you. I got you. Whatever you need,” he assured her.
“I’m going to get my stuff,” she said when she pulled back.
“Aight. I’ll be right here.” He cupped her chin and leaned forward to lightly peck her lips.
Nodding, Giselle backed away while Lou got out of the car. She side eyed Alonzo all the way up to the porch and into the house behind her cousin. She didn’t know the nigga, but all she got was slime vibes from him when he ogled her.
In her current bedroom, Giselle flung her clothes into her suitcases, making sure she didn’t leave anything behind in the drawers. Lou lingered in the doorway, arms tucked across her chest, watching her move frantically.
“You’re just going to leave?”
“That’s the fucking plan.” Giselle emptied her personal hygiene products into a smaller carry-on bag.
“What about Mama? You’re not even going to say goodbye to her or Maisie? What about Gem?”
“It’s not like me leaving is going to impact anyone around here, Lou.
All I’ve been doing with Remi since I got here is bumping heads with her.
Maisie will be fine, and so will Gem. We don’t even know each other.
When the estate is settled, I’ll make sure to set up a trust for her, so she can be provided for. ”
“I just don’t think it’s right.” She shrugged.
“Trust me, I’m doing what’s best for all of us.” Giselle motioned with her hand to emphasize her point.
“Right for you. Seems selfish, though, after everything.”
“What do you want me to do?” Giselle sighed and zipped one of her bags closed. “I don’t belong here. It’s never been more obvious than right now. I never intended to stick around anyway.”
“So, you’re just going to go back to Leawood and do what? The estate isn’t settled. You’re just going to let this man take care of you and use you?” Lou surmised.
“Alonzo is cool. He’s not like that. He offered to help me when all this happened, and I turned him down because I didn’t want to seem like some charity case.
He’s been with me this whole time. Planning the funeral, burying them, and checking on me when it felt like I was drowning in that hotel back in Leawood alone. ”
“And now you’re okay with being his good deed?” Lou hiked a brow.
“You wouldn’t understand.” Giselle shook her head and grabbed a few other items to shove into her last suitcase.
If she left anything behind, it didn’t matter. She was hoping her lawyer would get back with her soon, and she could settle everything then go about her life.
“Make me understand then. We’re family,” Lou reminded her.
“And sometimes, that isn’t enough. I’ve been judged by everyone since I stepped foot off that fucking bus! I’m sick of it!”
“Like you’re not going to be judged when you get back to Leawood, and this is by people who don’t know you. At least we love you.”
“It doesn’t always feel like it. Can you just… support this decision? Please?” Giselle pleaded with teary eyes.
A moment of silence passed between them, and Lou’s hands dropped at her side.
“Fine.”
She got the feeling nothing she said or did would change Giselle’s mind, and she seemed desperate. The last thing she wanted was to come off as one more person coming down on her.
“I was just starting to get used to having you around. So… I’m gonna miss you.”
Pausing, a half-smile claimed Giselle’s lips.
“I’m gonna miss you too.” She stopped long enough to hug her cousin. “And we’ll keep in touch, okay. I promise.”
“Sure,” Lou agreed when they parted.
Somberness now rested behind her warm hazelnut eyes.
Lou used to be so jealous of Giselle and Maisie’s relationship.
She was four years younger than Giselle, but Maisie let her go with her anywhere.
For the first time, she and Giselle were old enough to kick it, and the last couple of days, they’d been smoking and having little sessions in either Lou’s room or hers and talking about their summers together.
It was nice having her cousin around and spending time getting to know each other as grown women.
Lou still lived at home with her mother, and at the time, Giselle hadn’t moved out either.
Her family home was big enough for her not to ever run into them, and half the time they weren’t there anyway.
She saw no point in moving out, paying rent or mortgage, and wasting money.
Not only that, but the house also came with a staff.
She literally didn’t have to lift a finger.
“I think I’m gonna head back over to the block and get drunk. Call me when you get back to Leawood, so I can at least know you’re good.”
“I will. Thanks, Lou.”
Giselle went back to stuffing her luggage and zipped her final bag once she was sure she had everything.
She’d only been there a couple of days, so she hadn’t gotten too comfortable.
By the time she descended the stairs, Maisie and Crew stumbled into the house, laughing together.
When Giselle reached the landing, they both stopped and stared.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to Leawood,” Giselle replied.
“With that handler looking ass nigga out there?” Crew questioned, aiming his thumb over his shoulder.
“His name is Alonzo. He was one of daddy’s business partners. He made me an offer, and I really don’t want to be here.” She adjusted the strap to her bag on her shoulder.
“So, you’re just going to take off like that? Were you even going to say goodbye, Giselle?”
“What do you want from me, Maisie? I am drowning with no life jacket, and all I keep hearing from everyone around me is to suck it up! Like it’s just a job I didn’t get, or a phase in my life! I lost both of my fucking parents!” Tears burned her eyes as the screen door creaked open behind them.
Startled by his presence, Giselle blinked away more tears when Heavy entered.
“And I’m not doing anyone any good around here,” she finished.
“You won’t even give it a chance. You know why, because you’re always running from something,” Maisie pointed out.
“One thing your parents did was allow you to give up because they were always there to catch you if you fell. You don’t have that safe landing anymore, so you want to run.
It’s not going to make it any better, Giselle.
” Maisie’s voice cracked. “So, I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for out there.
” Maisie pushed past her down the hall and left Crew standing there.
“Take care of yourself.” He gave her a tight squeeze, but Giselle barely reacted.
Crew tossed a glance at Heavy before going after Maisie. The two had only stopped here so they could change clothes, but they planned to go back over to the block to enjoy the rest of their night.
“Where you going?” Heavy nodded toward her bags.
“Where I belong,” she answered, her tone harsh and cold.
He let go of a deep breath and swiped his hand down his beard before shaking his head.
“Prischa is like family to me. You embarrassed her in front of everybody. I had to step in.”
“And put me in my place in the process, right?”
“That’s not what I was trying to do,” he denied. “You walk around like the whole world owes you an apology, princess. I’ve seen enough people lose everything to know… nobody’s going to hand you peace. You gotta earn that shit.”
“You think I don’t know about loss?” she asked after swallowing a lump in her throat.
More tears glistened in her eyes, but didn’t dare let one slip. The air between them crackled, and she wondered if he could hear the rampant thudding of her heart.
“My whole life burned down, almost literally. I try to remember what breathing feels like on a regular basis because every time I close my eyes, I hear my mother screaming… begging for her life, and then a gunshot so loud it nearly shattered my ear drums. Then, my father, broken, like a little boy… weeping over her dead body before they shot him too.”
Her pain hit him deep in the chest, something he hadn’t expected as she stood there, holding it together the best way she knew how.
He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came.
Crew gave him the story, but it was nothing like hearing it from the eyewitness.
Underneath all that pretty, this woman was deeply scarred and drowning in anguish.
He stepped closer, but Giselle reacted swiftly.
Sniffling back her tears, she gripped her luggage tighter and moved past him.
He grabbed her before she slipped too far away, stopping her long enough for her to face him.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he acknowledged in a low tone. “Maybe I came at you wrong, but maybe you need to take a look at yourself and this situation. Yes, you suffered a great loss. Now, how do you pick up the pieces of your life?”
“I just want a life that doesn’t hurt every single time I wake up or try to go to sleep. I don’t need you or anybody else telling me how I should feel or when I should move on. You don’t know!”
Nodding slowly, he resigned from his stance. It was obvious that she was dead set on how she felt in that moment and what she had to do. There was no changing her mind.
“Then stand on it, princess. I hope somewhere along the way, you can find a way to heal too.”
She met his eyes one last time, pulse racing.
For some reason, she felt like this was a pivotal moment in time, one she would always come back to and wonder how she could do it differently.
On one side of the door was what she considered her future, and on this side, Heavy and her family represented something else.
Not just the past, but home… comfort. A safe space, until it wasn’t.