19. Anya
CHAPTER 19
“Do you think he’ll come around? I don’t want you to fight with your brother because of us.”
We’ve just returned from dinner with Brandon’s family. Despite Spencer’s outburst, the rest of dinner went fairly well.
Camilla and James spent a considerable amount of time teaching Kira how to say Grandma and Grandpa.
Alessa was completely thrilled about having a little sister. That little girl is precious, and I’m more than happy that she’s Kira’s big sister. I just know she’ll love and protect Kira like any other big sister would.
We’re parked outside my house now. Kira’s snoring in her car seat. She’s completely spent after spending hours playing with her big sister.
Brandon places a finger under my chin and tilts my face to his. “You and my daughters are all that matters to me. While I would like for Spencer to not be such a dick about this, I really don’t care.”
“But I do.” I take Brandon’s hand. “If we’re going to make this work, I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot with your family.”
His eyes narrow. “Make this work? Anya, are you—”
“You have to make this work, Brandon,” I insists with even more intensity than before. “I am in love with you and I'm willing to start over with you.”
He looks at me with a deep emotion in his eyes as he gently holds my face in his hands. “My goodness, what did I do to deserve you?”
"Everything," I whisper back, hating how he always sees himself as less when he has spent years sacrificing for others. "You've done everything right, Brandon."
"You know it's not fair to make a grown man cry," he says, his voice cracking with happiness.
I can't help but smile. "Not if he's crying happy tears."
He laughs, looking incredibly handsome. He looks just like Kira in every way. I wonder why Alessa doesn't resemble him when Kira does. But tonight is not the time to ask about her mother.
"You should laugh more often, Brandon," I tell him. "It suits you."
"There's something else I'd rather do," he replies.
I raise an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"
He unbuckles his seat belt and leans over the passenger’s seat. His lips meet mine, and he kisses me deeply and passionately.
I kiss him back, tugging at his shirt and melting against him. I want to feel and taste every bit of him.
The realization bursts through me like a crescendo. I’m thrilled with everything about him. The thought of our world just revolving around us, Alessa and Kira, it sparks a sense of happiness and fulfillment I’ve never felt before.
When he pulls away, he looks at me with so much longing that every part of me is throbbing for him. I can tell the same thoughts running through my mind are running through his.
“Want to come inside for—”
“Yes,” he answers.
I giggle because he didn’t even let me finish. “Alright. Get Kira.”
He obeys, sliding out of the car and going for Kira in the backseat. I free myself from my seat belt and walk up to my front porch to open the door. The overhead light flashes on as it detects movement.
In less than a minute, we’re inside. Brandon takes Kira to her room while I make us two cups of coffee and go to apply a little more lipstick and get my hair a little rough.
When I return to the living room, Brandon grabs me and pulls me against him. “You look lovely tonight, Anya. Did I tell you that?”
I bite my lips and chuckle. “Did you? I can’t remember.”
He softly grabs my chin. “You’ll remember this.” He kisses me again, more deeply and feral this time.
I melt into his kiss, feeling a rush of desire overwhelming me. With Brandon's arms wrapped around me, I feel safe and loved.
When we finally break apart, breathless and flushed with desire, Brandon gazes at me with a hunger that matches my own. His eyes are dark with an intensity that sends shivers down my spine.
“I love you, Anya,” he whispers hoarsely, his voice filled with raw need. “I've loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.”
I can feel my heart racing in my chest as I meet his gaze. Without hesitation, I reach up to cup his face in my hands, feeling the roughness of his jaw beneath my fingertips. “Brandon,” I whisper back, my voice filled with a longing that matches his own. The air between us crackles with electric tension, pulling us closer together, as if we were two magnets irresistibly drawn to each other.
His hands roam over my body with a possessive urgency, igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume us both. As our lips meet once more in a searing kiss, the world falls away around us, leaving only the two of us locked in a passionate embrace.
Time seems to stand still as we give in to the desire that has been simmering between us since before dinner. Every touch, every caress sends a jolt of pleasure through me, heightening my senses and driving me wild with need.
We don’t break our kiss as we rip each other’s clothes off and find our way to the couch.
Brandon makes love to me in a way that makes me clench and pulsate. His strokes are gentle yet powerful, sending waves of fire coursing through my veins. Every stroke, every kiss etches a new memory into my mind and soul that I will never forget.
As the night wears on, we become lost in the whirlwind of passionate desire, incapable of pulling away from each other. We make love until the first light of dawn peeks through the curtains, until our bodies are spent and we collapse onto the couch, our breaths coming in ragged gasps.
I rest my head on Brandon's chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as I drift off to sleep wrapped in his strong arms. I feel contentment and love in a way I’d never thought possible, a sense of completeness that fills my entire being.
I wake up to the sound of Kira’s little giggle somewhere. And the smell of coffee.
I’d fallen asleep in the living room after Brandon and I made love, but I’m somehow in my bedroom now, covered in a blanket. Which means Brandon carried me here, and I have no idea when; that is how blissful my sleep was. It’s the best I’ve had in a while.
Squinting at the blinding amount of sunlight pouring in from the open curtains, I stretch and yawn, feeling the soreness from last night’s lovemaking in my muscles.
As I sit up, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I remember the night before, how lovely it was. I slip into one of my oversized shirts, running my fingers through my tangled hair before I leave the room.
Kira’s laughter fills the hallway as I make my way to the kitchen, where I find her sitting on her highchair. She has a plate with omelet and bacon in front of her. I’m surprised at how easily she’s eating when it’s usually a struggle to get her to eat anything that isn’t breastmilk.
Brandon is busy brewing fresh coffee and preparing breakfast. His eyes light up when he sees me, and his smile makes my heart flutter.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” he says, walking over and giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“Morning,” I respond, leaning into his embrace. “What’s got you up so early?”
“Well, Kira woke up cranky. Figured she was hungry so I had to make her something.” Leaning in, he whispers, “And you seemed pretty exhausted after last night. Thought I would impress you with some breakfast in bed too.”
“Oh, I see,” I say, trying to hide my amusement. “Well, thank you for taking care of her. And I appreciate the breakfast in bed sentiment, but I’m really hungry.”
He pokes my nose. “I’ll make you a plate.” He leads me to a barstool by the island. “Sit down.”
I do as he says and watch as he walks to the counter and starts to throw things into a plate. He fills a cup with coffee, maple syrup and creamer, just the way I like it.
He takes the food and sets it in front of me. “Breakfast for my baby girl.”
Kira’s giggle catches our attention. She claps and repeats, “Baby girl.”
Brandon and I chuckle at the same time. My daughter—our daughter—has food all over her mouth, hands and table.
“She’s cute,” Brandon says. “She reminds me of when Alessa was a baby.”
“Speaking of Alessa, I’m thinking we can take the girls to the park whenever you’re free?” I wrap my hands around the coffee cup. “She’s your daughter too, and I don’t want her to feel left out. She’s as much family as Kira is.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you, Anya.” He rests his forearm on the island. “Actually, there’s something I haven’t told you. Two things actually.”
The look on his face is suddenly serious.
I take a sip of my coffee. It tastes really good. “What is it?”
“I have been going to therapy. I figured I can’t be the man you girls need if I’m struggling with trauma.” He pauses and draws in a breath, “The therapist suggested that there is still much healing to be done. But she also knows that with my family and your support, I will find my way back to happiness. Also, I’m going to pay Nathan a visit today. I haven’t seen him since we got back from the deployment. I haven’t answered his calls or even tried to find out how he’s doing. Talking to him will do me good too.”
“I’m proud of you, Brandon,” I say, reaching out to squeeze his hand in support. “It takes strength to seek help and face your past.” I can see the conflict in his eyes, the weight of unresolved emotions bearing down on him. “And visiting Nathan is a step in the right direction. Closure is important for both of you.”
Brandon nods, his jaw clenched. “I owe it to him…and to myself. I can’t keep running away from what happened.” He takes a deep breath, his gaze meeting mine. “I have to.”
Hope and relief wash over me. I’d wanted to suggest it to him, but I had no idea how to bring it up, so I hadn’t. I would have eventually, but I’m happy he’s taking that step on his own. Now all I have to do is be there and support him.
“Kira and I will be here for you every step of the way,” I assure him, “You’re not alone in this, Brandon.”
He smiles gratefully at me, his eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and relief. “Thank you, Anya. For everything.” Brandon leans in and kisses my forehead softly before turning his attention back to Kira, who’s happily playing with what’s left of her food. “I owe being a better person to all three of you girls.”
I take a bite out of a sausage on my plate. “So, what’s the second piece of breaking news?”
“The second piece of news is that…” He pauses as if he’s conflicted about sharing whatever it is he wants to tell me.
“You don’t have to say if you’re not ready to,” I tell him. “There’s still plenty of time for us to share secrets and all. Don’t push yourself too much.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s important that I tell you, because I want to share the rest of my life with you.”
My stomach flips, and my heart beats faster. “Do you mean what you just said? That you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
Because I want that too. I’ve come to love and rely on Brandon a lot in the past few weeks, and I don’t think I can imagine a future he’s not a part of.
“Yes, I mean it,” he says with conviction, his eyes bright as they bore into mine. “You’re the light in my life, Anya. I’d be lost without you, and I’m not just saying this to impress you. It’s how I truly feel.”
He goes silent again, and I just wait until he’s ready, holding his hand with one of my own.
“Alessa is not mine,” he finally says.
My mouth falls open before I can stop myself. “What do you mean she’s not yours? Did you adopt her?”
“Yes. No. Kind of.” He lets out a breath. “She…Her mother cheated on me and got pregnant by the other guy. When he wouldn’t take responsibility, she lied and said that the baby was mine. I had my doubts, but I wasn’t really sure about it until I did a DNA test after Alessa was born. Her mom got mad, dropped her off at my doorstep, and never came back.”
“And you decided to raise her?”
He nods. “I adored that little girl the second she was born. She may not be mine biologically, but I loved her too much to give her away. So yes, I decided to raise her. I can’t possibly do this without my parents’ help. When I'm not on deployment, my priority is coming home to spend time with Alessa. She's a fantastic listener and genuinely interested in what I do as a Navy SEAL. She understands the demands of my job and does her best to be supportive. She's an amazing kid.”
“I see," I reply, trying to conceal the confusion lurking in my eyes. This was definitely a bombshell to drop all of a sudden. “And how does this change things?”
Brandon takes a deep breath, as if preparing to dive into uncharted waters. “Well, it means that legally, she's not my biological daughter. But to me, she is just as much my daughter as Kira is. I love her just the same, maybe even more because of the circumstances. I didn't want to keep this a secret from you, Anya, because I value honesty, and I want you to be a part of our family's journey.”
I can't help but feel a wave of sympathy for him; the weight of this secret must have been unbearable. And seeing how much of a good dad he is, it must’ve broken him to find out his daughter is not biologically his.
“Do you think it would be wise to tell Alessa about her mother, and that you are not her biological father?” I ask, trying to navigate the delicate balance between respecting Brandon's desire for honesty and considering how this revelation might impact Alessa when she finds out.
Brandon hesitates for a moment before answering. “I think it's something we should consider discussing with her as she gets older. We can't keep everything from her forever. But for now, I don't want to burden her with something that won't make a difference in our relationship or how she perceives herself or us.”
We. He’s referring to me and him. He’s not excluding me from his future plans. And he’s such a considerate dad. Honestly, I don’t think I could’ve done any better for Kira and myself.
I nod in agreement. The subject is too complex to be discussed hastily, and Alessa is still a child. “We can revisit this topic when she is a bit older and more equipped to handle such information.”
“That is exactly what I think.” Brandon says, visibly relieved that we're on the same page. "I don't want to rob her of her self-esteem. She deserves to grow up knowing she's loved and accepted, regardless of her biological connection to the rest of the family.”
“Great. We’ll have the discussion with her when she is older.” If things don’t go awry between us. If we can actually have a happy life together. I hope we do.
“You have to promise me one thing, Anya,” he says softly.
I roll my lips between my teeth and breathe in anxiously. “What?”
“I don’t want Alessa to ever feel like an outsider. I don’t want you to treat her differently because of what I’ve just told you.”
A smile touches my lips. I lift one hand to my chest. “I promise to treat Alessa the same way I treat Kira. And trust me, her biological relationship with you doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not that old-fashioned.”
He finally smiles. “We can work with that I guess.”
“Perfect!” I lift my coffee, bringing it to my lips and inhaling the addictive aroma. “What time are you going to see Nathan?”
“After breakfast. My mom will drop Alessa off by the afternoon if that is okay.”
“It’s totally fine. I want the girls to bond all they can. Kira is lucky to have a big sister.” I sigh. “I always hated being an only child, you know. Gigi is the only reason it wasn’t so boring growing up.”
“You’ve seen Spencer. Growing up with a crazy dude like him was hell, but it was fun too.” His shoulders sag, as if there’s something weighing him down. “I’ll have to talk to him when I’m back too.”
“Good luck with that.” I mean it. I want nothing but a happy family. And even though Spencer is a dick, Brandon loves him, and I want nothing less than for Brandon to be happy.