Secret Bride of the Earl

Chapter One

Lady Georgina Bridgeman paced the confines of her room, the pain in her chest making it hard to breathe. No matter how many tears she cried, it still hurt. It was one thing to live with the knowledge no one wanted her, but to be told she was wanted—no, loved—and then betrayed was too much to bear.

She stopped at the window, though the gloomy scene outside had not changed in the few minutes since she last looked. The small courtyard at the back of the townhouse revealed the bare branches of the rosebushes and the wet stones of the narrow path. The scene didn’t help her melancholy at all.

Spinning about, she flounced onto her bed, but staring up at the drab brown canopy did little to lighten her mood.

If only she could go to Armand’s bakery and indulge her love for sweets, anything to change her disposition.

The walk would be so much better than staying cooped up inside, but she was relegated to the house as if it were her fault Lord Ashfield had led her astray. It was exceedingly unfair.

She rose once again to pace the length of her room. She’d go to the parlor and dining room if Lady Edgerton was out, but her mother had not left due to the rain. There had to be—

A knock sounded on her door.

She flew across the room to yank it open. Her dear friend Sophie stood on the threshold, a soft smile on her face as wisps of her fine brown hair curled about her temples from the humidity. “Sophie!”

Georgina didn’t give her friend a moment and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her. “I’ve missed you so. Did you get my letter?”

Sophie took Georgina’s hands in her own gloved ones. “I did, and I’m so sorry it has been a full fortnight. The Curious Ladies have all been hard at work for you. Do you know that Ellie came to visit but your mother wouldn’t allow it?”

The news had Georgina squeezing her friend’s hands too hard, so she quickly let go.

“I didn’t. She’s determined to punish me.

She acts as if it was my fault. She’s the one who encouraged me to write to him.

She said that I should accept his gifts.

And now, because he is to wed another, I have shamed her.

” As she thought of Lord Ashfield, her eyes began to water.

“He must have been forced to wed Lady Ann. I just can’t believe he could be so cruel. ”

Sophie pulled her into a hug. “You poor dear. Come sit, and I shall distract you with all the news.”

Not wishing to appear ungrateful for the visit, Georgina refrained from denying that anything could distract her from her misery and walked with Sophie to the small table with two chairs set near the fireplace.

“You must tell me how you managed to convince my mother to see me. She has not allowed me a single visitor, and now you say she turned away Ellie, a marquess’s wife!

That’s not like my mother, as she is quite impressed with titles, as you know. ”

“Yes, I do know that. I have the Duke and Duchess of Northwick to thank for being allowed to see you. I shared your dilemma with them, and you can be assured they will not tell anyone. In fact, the duke was quite angry that your parents allowed this to happen.”

“He was? He didn’t blame me? My parents blame me. Everyone will blame me.”

“Oh, Georgie, we don’t blame you. I, of anyone, know how much your mother encouraged your communication with him. What’s most important is that no one ever learns of this. I’m sure that is what’s foremost in your parents’ minds, and why they have not allowed you to go out and about.”

A knot formed in Georgina’s stomach. “I hadn’t thought of that. They must be afraid that I’d tell someone, and we know I would. How could I not? My heart is breaking.” She was well aware she couldn’t keep a secret. She just wanted to make people happy, and sharing news always made people happy.

Sophie reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Did you truly fall in love with him, then?”

“Love? No, but I’m sure I would have. It’s just that—and I know this sounds selfish—he said he loved me, and it filled this emptiness in my heart to know someone finally found me worthy.

” Georgina held up her hand as Sophie opened her mouth to speak.

“I know all my classmates from the Belinda School for Curious Ladies love me, and I’m so grateful my mother shipped me off to the school.

It’s the first time I ever felt wanted.”

“What I meant was that a man found me worthy. I know I could have loved him. He said such beautiful things about me. Do you know he said I sing like a bird? He must be tone-deaf, because you know I can’t sing. It’s one reason I admire the birds so much.”

Sophie let go of her hand. “I do know. I believe, as do the other Curious Ladies, that Lord Ashfield wanted you to think he loved you. My husband is quite sure that the man will continue to try to lead young ladies astray, even though he is now married. But we don’t care about him, and neither should you. ”

“It’s so hard to see a dream I thought fulfilled, my only dream, ravaged like a newly laid egg by a raven.

All I wished for is to be loved. I didn’t think it would be so difficult.

I’ve tried very hard to follow all the rules and to be accommodating.

And now…now the hardest part is knowing that my dream will never happen.

I’m sullied goods.” Georgina stilled as a thought occurred.

“Does anyone else know? Have you heard any whispers among the ton? I don’t think I could be in public anywhere if anyone suspected. ”

“Rest assured, I have not heard a word. All the Curious Ladies are keeping their ears open for any slight they might hear. I’m sure your mother hopes to keep this quiet until she finds you a husband.”

Even at the thought, a shiver raced up her spine.

“Sophie, I’m terrified about whom she might find to wed me.

I’m quite sure it will be someone old or hideous.

Lord Ashfield is very handsome, and he said he loved me.

I’d have never allowed such liberties if he hadn’t declared that.

He told me he wanted me in his life forever!

” Unable to sit any longer, she rose and walked back to the window, but looked at Sophie instead of the dreary courtyard.

“I was a fool, and now I must enter a loveless marriage with a stranger, who will probably hate me. It will be like living under my family’s roof all over again. I don’t know if I could bear it.”

“Oh, don’t say that, Georgie. I’m sure your family doesn’t hate you.”

“No, I’m sure they do, long before this happened.

My mother has often stated that she wished I wasn’t born and blames my father for my very existence.

My brothers have been indifferent, but my older sisters never missed an opportunity to be cruel.

Being at school showed me a completely different world, where my friends are kind and we care about each other.

I don’t know if I can face living in a house where I’m hated and unwanted, now that I’ve experienced something different. I’m just not that strong.”

Sophie rose and walked toward her, taking her hands.

“I promise you will not be in such a house. Come, where is the Georgie who always plays devil’s advocate when we are in class?

If I said to you that you will marry an ugly man who wishes he didn’t have to take you as a wife, what would your counter be? ”

“I don’t know. I can’t debate my true feelings.”

“Come, try.” Sophie let go and stepped back.

Georgina tried to imagine a different future. “Maybe I’ll marry a handsome young man who is anxious to have a wife because he’s been too shy to approach any other lady.”

Sophie clapped her hands. “See, you can do it.”

Georgina shook her head. “But I don’t believe it.”

“I know, but keep your hope alive. The Curious Ladies have been working on a plan, and I’m pleased to let you know that your future husband, if all goes well, will be pleasant to look upon and will not hate you.”

Hope began to light the dark pathways of her soul at Sophie’s words. “Do you then know whom my parents will be choosing?”

“All I can say is if all goes well, the man you will marry will be neither old nor hideous and will be grateful to have you.”

Fear and excitement twisted in her belly. “I’m truly afraid. If the man they choose is as you say, will he be as caring in his husbandly duties as Lord Ashfield?”

“Was he a kind lover, then?” Sophie’s voice lowered even as her cheeks turned a rosy red.

How could Georgina have forgotten that her dear friend was married and knew all about the marriage bed?

Sophie was someone she could talk to. She pulled her over to the bed, and they sat.

“You must tell me. My mother won’t talk to me unless it’s to scold.

Please, you have indeed consummated your marriage, have you not? ”

Sophie nodded, though her cheeks remained rosy.

“Is it always so…uncomfortable? I mean, I was so excited. At first, it was as if I’d had too much wine, a most pleasant feeling.

Then he entered me and started rutting like a dog.

I was quite disappointed, as it was just uncomfortable and truly rather boring.

Don’t mistake me—Lord Ashfield was very solicitous and asked after my welfare when he finished. I just thought it would be…more.”

Sophie’s brows lowered as she clasped her hands in her lap. “I cannot speak for women in general, but for me it is much more than that. It is absolutely wondrous.”

Georgina could still see the pattern of the coach seat in her mind while Lord Ashfield had pounded into her from behind. He’d said it was the best way for a virgin. “Maybe it’s me.” She had strong misgivings about the pleasure derived from such an act.

“I promise, when you’re married, I will give you the book that the Curious Ladies have shared amongst each other. It will help you understand everything there is to know about the marriage bed.”

“Oh, Ellie mentioned something about that book when we were at Hawthorne Park. Is it really my turn?” To be given the secret book meant she truly was a sister, not just a classmate of the Curious Ladies.

Sophie patted her hand. “Yes, it’s your turn. As soon as you’re wed, I will gift it to you.”

“I’m honored. I thought that since I’d failed as a lady, you all would not wish me in your presence.”

“Of course not. We love you.”

As Sophie’s arms wrapped around her once again, Georgina hugged her back, a feeling of safety calming her nerves more than any draught could do.

Finally, she released her friend. “Your acceptance and support of me is more than I deserve. I promise I will try to live up to your faith in me.”

“You don’t have to live up to anything. Just be yourself and have hope. I promise, someone good is in your future. In the meantime, try to stay busy. Are there any books on birds I can send over to you that might keep your interest?”

Guilt made her stand. “I have three I have yet to study. I’ve just been so heartbroken that I haven’t been able to concentrate. And with all this rain”—she gestured toward the window—“there’s been no birds venturing into our courtyard.”

Sophie rose from the bed and took her hand again. “I understand. But now you know there is hope. I suggest studying up so you can impress your new husband with your knowledge. You might even think about which dress you might wear to your wedding.”

Georgina had actually decided that when she thought she was marrying Lord Ashfield, but now she wanted nothing more than to burn that particular dress. Rather than reveal her poor attitude, she smiled. “Those are very good ideas. I will endeavor to do as you suggest.”

“I’m so sorry, Georgie. I feel partly to blame. I had reservations about Lord Ashfield’s attentions toward you, but refrained from saying anything for fear of hurting your feelings. I see now that I should have said something.”

At the look of sadness in her friend’s green eyes, Georgina shook her head, squeezing Sophie’s hand.

“I wouldn’t have listened. Only now am I beginning to see what anyone else would have.

I was blind. I wanted so much to believe that one man found me to his liking.

If you had said anything, it might have strained our friendship, and I value you more than anyone else right now.

You were right to refrain from speaking on his behavior.

It would not have stopped me, and because you know me so well, I can lean now upon you in my most grievous of circumstances. ”

“You can lean upon me and all the Curious Ladies. We support each other like sisters.”

Holding back tears, Georgina nodded. “I will count the hours until I see you again. Thank you for being so kind to me.”

“Oh, Georgie.” Sophie pulled her into another hug. “I promise you, your situation will improve.”

Georgina sniffed back the tears as she let Sophie go. “Thank you.”

“You will hear something by the week’s end.” Sophie smiled before turning and walking out the door.

Georgina grabbed on to the bedpost to keep from following Sophie downstairs, where Lady Edgerton was receiving callers. The last person she dared to be near was her mother.

News couldn’t come soon enough.