Chapter Twenty-Six
Scarlett
Beckett is distracted and upset.
I get home from rehearsals and am exhausted from a long day at school and an equally long day at the theater.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream opens on Thursday.
I have seen Beckett upset by work before.
When he has a problem he can't solve, like a devastating diagnosis for a long-term patient, he comes home like this.
I am cradling Rayne in my arms when he comes in.
“What’s wrong?” I ask immediately.
“Nothing,” he tries to brush off my inquiry.
“I know there's something wrong. Either you want to tell me or you don't, but say that instead of lying, please.” I know he isn't one to divulge secrets but we have to have an honest relationship or our marriage, no matter how terminal, won't remain happy.
I don't like the idea that we will soon be divorced. Even five years from now seems too early. I am beginning to truly enjoy Beckett's company and feel connected to him in a way I’d never experienced with another person. He feels like my other half, despite being older and more powerful. He is also someone who learns from me. I have empathy and an awareness of people that he seems to lack. Together we fill in each other's gaps, and I am beginning to be addicted to him. He’d said it was up to me how long our marriage would last, but he hadn’t ripped up the contract I signed, so no matter what he says, our marriage still has an end date.
“You're right,” he says with a somber tone. “I shouldn't bring lies into our marriage.” He stares at me as if his thoughts are the same as mine. What is our marriage exactly?
“Thank you.” I stand a little straighter with his admission.
“I received a threatening text. I'm not at all surprised.
In fact, I would be shocked if I didn't receive one.
What I am concerned about, however, is that I need to have a deeper level of security on you, and on Rayne and Mia.
Everyone I love needs to be protected by heavily armed guards.
The problem with this is I don't know who I can trust.” He makes himself a drink and sits on the couch, looking like the weight of the world has settled on his shoulders.
“What about giving them the fake formula until you can figure this all out?”
“It’s something I’d been considering, but I’d have to create it in the lab with results.
No way would they accept an email with a bunch of genetic codes.
Besides, it is too dangerous. I don’t want to trial that kind of drug.
We’re not going to figure this out tonight.
I just want to order some food and love you and the baby,” he says, reaching out to take Rayne from me.
I hand her to him, knowing how much holding her soothes his worries.
“I like that plan,” I tell him with a smile. “You know you don't have to come to every show, Beckett.” I feel like I need to mention it because I don't want him to think he is obligated to see the show just because I am dancing in a leading role.
“Do you know what I love almost as much as your company?” It is a strange question to ask because I'm sure there are plenty of things that Beckett enjoys.
“Excellent scotch? A night out with the guys? You enjoy their company but you haven't been out for a while,” I muse. He is seeing less and less of his friends.
“I don't hang out with my male friends as often because I have more enticing company.” He takes my hand and kisses it, then kisses the baby's head.
“What I enjoy almost as much as making love to you, my dear wife, is watching you dance.
You are spectacular. I will never miss an opportunity to watch you perform.
So if you'd like to cause the first fight of our marriage, forbid me to come to your show.” The delightful look on his face is intoxicating, and I return his smile with one of my own.
“I love you, Beckett,” I say gently. “I think I'm falling more in love with you every day.”
“I know the feeling well.” It isn't an ‘I love you’ back, but the closest I might come to getting one from him.
He kisses my hand again.
After finishing his drink and having a delightful meal together, we make love for hours and I enjoy every moment of it.
He understands my body and how I work. He knows exactly every place on me that sets me ablaze with need and desire.
Sometimes he is gentle and attentive; other times he is unbridled and passionate.
Our lovemaking and our candid conversations are becoming some of my favorite things to do.
He does come to the show every night as promised, only missing the matinees because he wants to stay home with the baby.
He also is getting national attention for his cancer drug.
It has gone through several trials, and there are three people who had very aggressive cancers reversed by using his drug.
It had been in trials for years, but this final version of the drug is showing a lot of promise, and because of this, the medical community is celebrating Beckett.
What is good about the notoriety and public acclaim is the fact that he isn't going to be accessible to the men who want him to reverse the drug into a weapon.
We did receive that text threat a few weeks prior—the one that sent him into such a sad spiral—but he had done his research and discovered that Carl was, in fact, trying to sell the drug to a political opponent of the governing party.
CSS wasn't usually political, Beckett tells me, but Carl was backing an unpopular candidate whose agenda was set on promoting the philosophies and beliefs of an extremist religious group.
While it is a long shot that this group has a chance of infiltrating the government, having the drug and eliminating key players in the opposing political campaign would allow for an unfair advantage.
Beckett is now in such critical acclaim for his incredible work he is untouchable.
He doesn't stop going to CSS events and is able to attend private gatherings because of the notoriety and the attention he gets everywhere he goes.
If I had not been in the ballet, we would have spent more time at the island house together because we need a break from all of the publicity.
That being said, Beckett did hire a bodyguard who travels with him at all times, and he gave me one for me as well.
Brandon, my bodyguard, is from an organization that works with reformed youth who had finished probation for minor felonies.
Beckett assumes that people working within the nonprofit sector would have less connection to CSS.
CSS tends to work with people who are among society’s most elite or most unlawful.
Reformed foster youth and at-risk individuals are not high on CSS's radar.
Both Beckett's bodyguard and mine come from a non-profit organization that gives people rehabilitating from incarceration an opportunity to be a meaningful part of society.
Because they are constantly monitored by not only the company but by local law enforcement, we believe this is the safest route to take.
All the threats to Beckett seem to have been alleviated. Though the political atmosphere is growing tense, Beckett is not being pursued. He isn’t political, and as days pass, he is becoming more celebrated and sought after. And harder to reach.
I find my classes in dance therapy to be challenging but also rewarding in a way that I'd never experienced before.
Dancing came easy, but the science and biology of therapeutic dance and the brain's neurological structure are challenging—exhilarating at times, and a little frustrating at others.
I find myself studying much harder than I ever had before.
I am lying on my stomach in bed dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and a crop tank. I have my legs flailing in the air, which I do when I am stuck on something because movement helps me think. I am confused by a problem in one of my biology classes.
“What is unipolar depression?” I ask, with my feet still in the air.
Beckett comes up behind me and spreads my legs apart, settling himself between them as he gently tugs down my sleep shorts. He then kisses each globe of my ass cheeks.
“Unipolar depression is a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder,” he says, pulling my shorts down my legs and off.
I am bare underneath my sleepwear. He then swipes his tongue over my center. I am freshly out of the shower and his mouth on me feels amazing.
“Ah,” I say, barely able to breathe. “Why misdiagnosed?”
“Bipolar disorder always comes with mania even if it's not as pronounced as depression. Depression without mania is unipolar.” He dips his tongue inside of me and I am done.
This is how most nights start with Beckett.
He always begins with his tongue and his teeth and his lovely mouth all over my wet pussy.
He then makes his way up to my breasts and drags his damp cock along my center before he reaches my mouth and kisses me with wild reckless abandon.
By the time he is thrusting inside of me, I am completely lost to the charms and seduction of Beckett Myers, my incredibly acclaimed and highly lauded husband.
The next day comes a shocking surprise for me.
I've been dancing the understudy role for Hermia since the beginning of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Natalia, the lead dancer, was always ready for performance and did a brilliant job.
I was glad that she was able to perform for every show.
I never really thought about the opportunity of dancing the leading role because she was so good at it and I didn't have a lot of ambition as far as being in the spotlight.
I just danced because I absolutely loved it.
During rehearsals on Friday, a day that I didn't have any classes at the university, the artistic director and choreographer pull me aside to let me know that Natalia has strained her ankle and her doctor has advised that she stay off of it for the next four days.
This means I'll be dancing the role of Hermia for the next four performances. I am both nervous and excited about the opportunity to dance a role I’d been working really hard to learn and perfect yet potentially would never perform.
It is late. We have dinner with Caden's sister London who is Rayne’s new nanny and I adore her.
She is so lovely and wonderful and I am excited that my little baby will have such a friendly and attentive caregiver.
Beckett’s eyes are tired, his muscles are fatigued, his whole demeanor is deflated and exhausted.
I kiss him, hoping that he knows I see how hard he works and what a toll life has taken on him.
“I have good news,” I say casually as I strip out of my jeans and pop the clasp on my bra, freeing my tits.
Though they are small they still want their fresh air.
Like a child in a candy shop, he never resists them as soon as they are free.
His hands always come to my breasts with his thumbs swiping over my nipples making me hot and horny for my husband.
“I would love to hear your good news,” he says, kissing my lips and then popping a kiss on each nipple before he swipes my underwear down and then turns on the shower.
Our bathroom is huge. We have two rain shower heads and bench seating as well as a deep soaking tub which is more like a bathing pool. Three or four people could fit in it and our shower takes up half of the room. It is indulgent and decadent and wickedly fun.
We often have sex in our shower but recently with my school schedule and shows and him being busy on call at the hospital our bodies really need a bed because we are too tired to have sex standing up.
“I’m dancing Hermia for the next four days,” I say with a big bright smile.
“You are?” This immediately perks him up. He looks so proud and adoringly at me. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his naked body. He then kisses me with so much passion we barely get out of the shower before we fall into bed to make love, almost all night long.
“I need to sleep,” I say, “Or I'll be a mess for the show tomorrow,” I whisper against his chest which is damp from the exertion he'd used to make me come three times.
We are not careful with one another. He lets himself rip every single time and because I am wearing an IUD, I don't ever really think about pregnancy. We have one beautiful daughter and I am not sure we will have any more.
I nearly pass out from sheer exhaustion.
I love the sex-drunk feeling of my whole body being floppy and warm and completely spent and wrung out.
Beckett has a way of taking every single part of me and making it feel like he's imprinted on my soul.
The more time I spend with him the more time I want with him.
At the show the next day Beckett is there in the audience with the most obscenely large bouquet of flowers I'd ever seen.
It shines underneath the lights and is enormous enough for me to see from backstage.
Seeing him with a beautiful smile on his face holding those flowers is beyond thrilling.
In the audience sit Mia, Griffin, Caden, and Marcel, as well as John, my friend from the catering company, and his husband.
Beckett had promised he would bring everyone, and boy did he deliver.
The next night he'd bring London while Mia watched Rayne.
He would have brought the baby but she is only 6 months old.
That is love. Beckett may not be able to say it with his words yet but he definitely shows it with his actions.
To think that six months of our marriage is already over.