Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
TRISTON
I hold my breath, begging my body to not respond quite yet.
Emily’s silent as a wraith as she sits beside me, her legs dangling over the edge in mirror of mine.
Her feet are bare, and she’s only wearing the small slip she’d put on after Beau and I had both eaten her out long after Penny was asleep.
A thick fleece blanket I’d brought from my nest covers her legs.
The moon illuminates her face in pale light and soft shadows, leaching the color from her cheeks and eyes.
Her focus is on something out on the lake—or something I can’t see at all.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
I shake my head.
“It’s all right.” I keep my voice the same quiet, not wanting to interrupt the night. “It’s… all of this is a lot happening all at once. We never meant for that summer to be more than orgasms.”
She smiles just a bit. “Intentions don’t really matter compared to impact.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
Silence falls between us, heavier than a ton of bricks and more smothering than the thickest of blankets. I don’t know what to say to her, how to bridge the physical and emotional distance that’s still between us.
Maybe there’s not a way to bridge it, close it.
Maybe this will be our dynamic. My stomach clenches, but I swallow down a more visceral reaction.
So many Omegas have worse relationships than this.
And who am I to hold it against her? Even if the fact I wasn’t here for the pregnancy and when she was struggling with postpartum anxiety might be something we’ve mostly navigated, there’s still all the attention and paparazzi and parasocial fanatics.
There hasn’t been a day since she went with me to the Haven that some video or article hasn’t been posted about her.
“I’m scared,” she admits after a while.
I focus on her, resting my cheek on my knee. Tears line her lashes, and the column of her throat moves with her heavy swallow. Vanilla surrounds me again, tinged with fear just like last night.
“Of me leaving?”
It’s the logical answer. There’s a reason why most of the men on the circuit are single or divorced.
Only one in the last five years has been registered with a pack, and they went though a dissolution during the height of the season last year.
The travel is intense, and the circuit isn’t the type of environment that rewards fidelity.
It’s probably part of why Omegas are so uncommon, especially in bull riding—outside of the loud noises and constantly changing arenas.
She frowns and shakes her head.
A bit of warmth loosens my stomach.
“Of losing you.” She’s so quiet, the crickets nearly drown out the words. “It’s not logical. But then none of my anxiety around Penny was ever logical, either.”
A lump forms in my throat. Slowly, I reach across the six inches between us and take her hand. Goosebumps race up her arm as I run my thumb over her knuckles.
“Tell me about it?” I ask, just as quiet.
She breathes in heavily and then slowly blows it out.
Then she tightens her hold on my hand. Her vanilla lashes out.
I soak in the scent, free of the fear and tinged with determination instead.
Like she would always smell right before laying me out on her bed and making me see stars. I swallow a groan the memories drag up.
“I’m scared that registering will make it all fall apart. That… that by signing the paperwork and letting the world know that we’re a pack, that you’ll have a horrible ride or the Highlands cow that has it out for Beau will truly mess him up.” She shrugs and shakes her head. “It’s not logical.”
“That’s okay,” I murmur. “Whether it’s logical doesn’t change the fact that it’s real.”
“Ethan talked me through it this morning.”
I can’t help but smile. “That must have been mortifying.”
She scrunches her nose. “You have no idea. I now know way more about his tattoos than anyone ever should.”
“His tattoos?”
What would they have to do with Emily talking through her worry of our relationship falling apart?
“Yep.” She pulls her hair over her shoulder. “I now know most of them are places he’s knotted Brielle.”
I toss my head back and bark out a laugh. Of course that’s what Ethan would choose to have inked in his skin with such skill and precision they could each be their own addition in a museum’s collection.
“That’s a lot of places,” I manage to say, wiping away a few tears.
She just grimaces and pushes my shoulder with her free hand.
“But after I realized I need to scrub my mind with bleach, he told me about Brielle and… and Kayla.”
The humor falls away all at once. He’d told her about Kayla?
He’s not really ever told anyone about her, not after he found her in their garage after taking her own life only months after we lost Brandon.
It was only my second season working on the Monroe Ranch, back when it was still Scott running it and Emily was training to take it over.
“Kayla?”
“Kayla. And the reality that we don’t know what tomorrow holds. Registering won’t change if some accident is going to injure any of us, me included. You’re not the only ones handling thousand-pound animals daily. But choosing to not register will change every single day from here on out.”
She looks down at our hands, then traces shapes along the back of mine.
“If you’d told me that April night we’d have a baby together, I’d have laughed and rolled my eyes. If you’d told me we’d be a trio in truth and registering, I’d have walked away because you were being a complete fool.”
My entire body freezes, hope growing so fast it practically chokes me.
“And, yet, here we are. A trio with a baby girl.” She lifts my hand to her lips and kisses my wrist, marking me with her scent. “And registering. If you still want to.”
My mouth is dry. All I can do is nod and run my thumb along her cheek.
She guides my hand to her hip and then straddles me, moving like water.
The blanket falls next to us, a heap of fabric near my hip.
Her legs are long and lean, and I can’t help but feel every inch of them as she sinks her hands into my hair and kisses me hard, her teeth scraping along my lip.
I cup her ass and move her against me, rocking her along the hard line of my dick.
My clove scent explodes around us, suffocating every other smell between one second and the next.
It sends her right over the edge, past control and seduction and into that primal place Alphas have where they need to protect and claim and dominate.
She scrabbles at my sweats, forcing them low enough that she can grip my cock in both her hands.
She doesn’t tease, doesn’t even stop to let me figure out a condom to keep her safe.
She just lowers herself onto me faster than I can blink, tilting her head back on a breathy moan.
“Fuck,” I grunt. I tighten my hold on her ass to keep her from moving. “Fuck, a condom, baby.”
She shakes her head. “I need to feel you,” she whispers, her eyes still closed. “It’s been… it’s been a couple weeks. And they did the bloodwork at the Haven.”
She rocks her hips despite my hold, and I force down another noise.
“Em…”
“And I’m on the pill. Please, Tirston.”
The moonlight highlights the long line of her throat. Her hair falls behind her, long and straight. Her nipples are peaked even through the fabric. She’s a goddess. No man could hope to resist her. An Omega that’s in love with her, will do anything to make her smile and see her thrive? Impossible.
With a groan, I kiss the sensitive juncture between her neck and shoulder, letting one hand run up her spine and twist into her hair.
“Yeah, okay,” I whisper.
She wastes no time, riding me like it’s the most natural thing in the world, chasing pleasure even as she wrings it from me.
Her hands scrape up my shoulders, pushing the flannel off.
Goosebumps cover the exposed skin, the cool breeze making me shiver.
I suck on her nipple through the slip, a bolt of heat shooting right through me as she shivers, her vanilla intensifying.
“Fuck,” she gasps.
She grinds down on me, rubbing her clit against my pelvis, before rising again.
I skate my hand along her hip and thigh and then circle her clit myself, watching with rapt focus as she falls apart above me.
The small tremors, the panting breaths, the quiver of her lips, the hazy glaze of her eyes.
All of them are the best damn things I’ve had happen to me.
She’s the best thing. The only Alpha that’s made me want to be an Omega, that’s wiped away the horrible knowledge that my own Alpha father hated me for my designation.
“Emily,” I whisper.
She detonates. Her scent slams into me, the best scent I’ve ever known.
I bring her to me, wanting to taste her as she falls apart in my arms. Her nails dig into my skin, pulling blood, and it only makes me want her more, makes me want to have her wrapped around me until there’s no way we could ever be separate.
In the next moment, her lock tightens down, and the orgasm rips through me.
Heat pulses out from my core, shaking my limbs and stealing my breath.
I press my face into her shoulder, letting her skin soak up my cries and whimpers as the pleasure extends longer than should be possible.
My heart races in my ears and my breaths saw out of me.
By the time I’m come down from the buffeting waves, she’s relaxed against me, her arms tucked under the flannel and wrapping around my waist. I grab the soft blanket and throw it over her, making sure her legs are covered. She hums and wiggles a bit. It tightens her lock even more, and I groan.
I wrap my arms around her and crush her into me.
“You’re sure?” The words are hoarse.
“I’m sure, Triston.” She presses the words into the hollow of my throat. “But I swear if we get a shitty pack name, I will file the long ass forms to get a new one.”
I can’t help but laugh even as I cup her face and kiss her, long and hard.