Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
BEAU
P enny whines when I try to set her down, so I adjust her onto my other hip and pull the bread from the toaster while keeping the hot metal away from her skin.
She presses her face into my shoulder, her breath hitching with one of those silent sobs she has.
She tightens her hold on the bunny blanket.
The front door opens and soft footsteps echo on the hardwood floor.
“Beau?”
It’s Lynn.
Even as Penny sobs again, some of the stress of the last two days falls away.
I look over my shoulder to check if it’s just her. Despite the early hour—the sun’s not even fully up—she’s put together. Her hair is curled like always, and she’s dressed in jeans and a plain green shirt that complements her skin.
“Mornin’,” I say, my voice as haggard as I feel.
I pull the jelly from the fridge and haphazardly spread it on the bread. It’s not like Penny’s going to care if it’s pretty or not. Fed is best and all that. When I try to set her in her high chair, she digs her hands into my shirt, her sobs gaining sound.
Lynn grabs the plate of toast and sets it on the island and then holds out her arms. Penny cries but doesn’t resist the transfer. After a minute, she takes the small bite of toast Lynn holds out to her. Lynn doesn’t flinch at all as she cuddles into her, getting jelly all over the pale pink shirt.
“I don’t know how they did it,” I say after a minute.
Lynn raises an eyebrow, understanding I’m talking about Ethan and Caleb raising Camden on their own after Brandon and Kayla died.
They went four summers of Caleb being gone for weeks at a time while he was on wildfires and Ethan still being out with the cattle by sunrise most days.
One of those they spent courting Brielle, too.
And somehow they managed to keep their wits about them.
I don’t even have the energy to put the damn toaster back in the pantry, much less do the laundry or clean the living room.
Even now, toys are scattered across most of the floor and dishes fill the sink.
It’s just the two of us. How do I still manage to have a sink full of dishes after only two days?
“A lot of help,” Lynn says. “And they didn’t have to do it entirely on their own very often. They had each other even in the worst of it.”
Penny slowly takes another bite of the toast. Then her lips wobble, and her eyes brighten with unshed tears.
“Papa,” she says. “Mama.”
“I know, sweet girl.” Lynn presses her cheek into Penny’s temple in comfort. “They’ll be back in a few more days.”
I lean against the counter and tip my head back, running my hands down my face.
“Go sleep, Beau,” Lynn says after a minute.
When I frown and focus on her, her lips are curved in a small smile that’s almost identical to one I’ve seen both her children use.
It’s full of understanding and empathy. Tears burn my eyes, but I blink them away.
I don’t have time for a breakdown today.
There’s too many chores, and I’ll need to do the evening cattle checks tonight, too.
“I’ve got Penny. Go sleep.”
I don’t fight her. I run my thumb over Penny’s cheek as I pass them.
Instead of going back into our bedroom, though, I open the door at the end of the hall.
All of the blankets are the same as a week ago, before we’d flown out to the showcase rodeo.
I don’t even bother to undo my belt as I crawl onto the bed, grabbing one of the light purple blankets and clutching it to me the way Penny holds onto the bunny.
Both of their scents are still strong, the vanilla and clove weaving together.
I may not be an Omega, dependent on those scents to keep me level, but they soothe me anyway.
My eyes fall closed without even meaning to, and then the exhausted sleep I haven’t experienced since Penny was very young pulls me all the way under.