Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sophie
Julian is supposed to be here in less than an hour when Maya calls.
I answer from the kitchen, keeping my voice low while Theo sits at the dining table with a bowl of sliced strawberries and the model he has been working on for the past several days.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I tell her.
Maya does not hesitate.
“Yes, you do.”
I press one hand against the counter.
“That is not helpful.”
“It is true,” she says.
“You have spent seven years raising that little boy, building a life, working your ass off, and making sure he has been loved from every possible direction. You are not suddenly incapable because one hard conversation is standing in front of you.”
I close my eyes for a moment.
Maya continues, softer now.
“You did what you thought you had to do. Maybe it was not perfect, but Theo has never gone without love, stability, or family.”
“I know.”
“And if Julian genuinely wants to know him, then maybe the thing you have been terrified of all these years is not what is happening now.”
I glance toward Theo.
He is concentrating on fitting two pieces together, completely unaware of what is coming.
“I’m scared this changes everything,” I say.
“It probably does,” Maya replies.
“But changing everything does not automatically mean ruining everything.”
I let that settle.
Maya adds, “You are still his mother. You are still his home. Julian learning how to be part of Theo’s life does not erase anything you built.”
My throat tightens.
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do.”
Maya’s voice warms.
“Then thank me by breathing before Julian gets there and not trying to control every second of this.”
“That sounds unlikely.”
“I know.”
That finally pulls a small laugh out of me.
We talk for another minute before hanging up.
I set my phone on the counter and look toward Theo.
There is no way around this anymore.
I walk over and sit beside him.
“Theo?”
He looks up immediately. “Yeah?”
“Can you stop for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.”
His expression changes at once.
“Am I in trouble?”
“No.”
He studies my face. “Are you?”
The question nearly undoes me.
“No, baby.”
Theo sets the plastic piece down.
I turn slightly toward him.
“Do you remember Julian? The man who came here a couple days ago?”
Theo nods.
“The guy from your work.”
“Yes.”
He waits.
I take a breath.
“There is something I should have told you before now.”
Theo’s brows pull together.
I keep my voice calm.
“Julian is your father.”
Theo stares at me.
He does not speak right away.
Then he looks toward the model on the table, as if the answer might be somewhere inside it.
After a few seconds, he looks back at me.
“My dad?”
“Yes.”
“The dad I don’t know?”
My chest tightens.
“Yes.”
Theo is quiet again.
Then he asks, “Did he know about me?”
I shake my head.
“No. He did not.”
Theo looks confused.
“Why not?”
I reach for his hand.
“Because when I found out I was going to have you, a lot of things were happening. I was scared, and I made decisions because I thought I was protecting you.”
“From him?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Not from Julian.”
Theo watches me.
“From other things that were happening around us.”
“What things?”
“Grown-up things that are hard to explain right now.”
Theo frowns.
“I hate when people say that.”
“I know.”
“It means I’m not getting the real answer.”
I almost smile despite the ache in my chest.
“It means I am going to tell you more when you are old enough for it to make sense.”
Theo considers that.
Then he asks, “Is he mad?”
The question catches me off guard.
“Yes,” I say honestly. “He is hurt.”
“At me?”
“No.”
My answer comes fast enough that Theo’s expression softens slightly.
“None of this is your fault.”
Theo looks down at our hands.
“Does he want to be my dad?”
I swallow.
“Yes.”
He is quiet for another long moment.
I do not rush him.
Finally, Theo asks, “Does that mean I have to go live with him?”
My heart twists.
“No.”
He looks up.
“Nothing about your home changes today,” I tell him. “You are staying here. I am still your mother. Emma is still Emma. Maya and Tom are still part of your life. Nobody is taking you anywhere.”
Theo nods slowly.
“So he is just... here now?”
“For now, he wants to get to know you.”
Theo picks up one of the model pieces and turns it between his fingers.
“What if I don’t know what to say?”
“You do not have to say anything special.”
“What if he does not like me?”
My chest tightens all over again.
“He already likes you.”
Theo gives me a skeptical look.
“He saw me for like five minutes.”
“That was enough.”
He studies me, deciding whether to believe that.
Then he asks, “Is he coming here?”
“Yes.”
“Today?”
“Yes.”
Theo looks toward the clock on the wall.
“When?”
“Soon.”
He nods once and returns his attention to the model, but I can see that he is not really working anymore.
I sit beside him and let the quiet stay there for a while. There is nothing else I can say that will make this less enormous.
All I can do now is make sure Julian walks through that door knowing exactly what matters most.
The doorbell rings less than twenty minutes later.
Theo looks up from the table before I do, and the small change in his expression tells me he knows exactly who is standing outside. I smooth my hands over my jeans and stand.
“That’s probably him,” I say.
Theo nods but does not move from his chair. I walk to the door and open it.
Julian is standing on the other side in dark trousers and a navy shirt with the sleeves rolled once at his forearms. He looks composed at first glance, but I know him well enough to catch the tension in the set of his shoulders and the way his hand tightens briefly at his side before he looks at me.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi.”
For a second, neither of us moves. Then I step back and open the door wider.
“Come in.”
Julian looks past me into the townhouse before crossing the threshold. The difference between this visit and the last one is almost painful.
There is no barrier now.
No bag in his hand.
No reason for me to keep him outside.
Theo is still sitting at the table when we walk into the living room. He looks at Julian with the same careful curiosity he had the first time, but now there is something else underneath it.
Knowledge.
Julian sees it too. His expression softens immediately. I stop a few feet from the table.
“Theo,” I say, “Julian is here.”
Theo looks at me, then back at Julian. I take a breath.
“You know what we talked about.”
Theo nods.
I turn toward Julian.
“This is your dad.”
The words feel enormous even though I say them quietly.
Julian does not move toward him.
He does not reach out.
He stays where he is and lets Theo decide what happens next.
Theo studies him for several seconds before asking, “Do I call you Julian?”
Julian’s mouth shifts slightly.
“You can call me whatever feels comfortable.”
Theo thinks about that.
“Julian is okay?”
“Yes,” Julian says. “Julian is okay.”
Theo nods.
Julian looks at the model pieces scattered across the table.
“You working on something?”
Theo glances down.
“Sort of.”
“What is it?”
Theo picks up one of the pieces.
“It’s supposed to move, but it keeps getting stuck.”
Julian steps closer, but only enough to see the table better.
“Do you want help?”
Theo hesitates. Then he shrugs.
“You can look.”
Something moves across Julian’s face so quickly that Theo does not notice it.
But I do.
Julian pulls out the chair across from him and sits.
“Okay,” he says.
“Show me what it’s supposed to do.”
Theo turns the model toward him.
I stay nearby, close enough that Theo can look at me whenever he needs to, but far enough that the space between them belongs to them. For the first time, Julian is not standing at the edge of Theo’s life. He is inside it.
Theo studies the model for another minute before sliding out of his chair and carrying it to the living room floor. Julian follows his movement with his eyes, then glances at me as if checking whether he should follow. I give him a small nod.
Julian lowers himself to the rug across from Theo, folding one leg beneath him while Theo places the model between them. Up close, it looks like some kind of small pulley system built from lightweight plastic pieces, string, and a narrow platform that is supposed to lift when the wheel turns.
Theo points to the side.
“It keeps getting stuck here.”
Julian looks at the model but does not touch it.
“What have you tried?”
“I changed the string.”
“Did that help?”
“A little.”
“What else?”
Theo thinks for a second.
“I moved this part over.”
Julian leans closer. “Why?”
“Because I thought it was rubbing against this one.”
Julian nods. “That makes sense.”
Theo turns the wheel once, and the platform jerks before stopping halfway.
“See?” Theo says. “It does that.”
“I see it.”
“Do you know how to fix this?”
Julian looks at him. “I might.”
Theo narrows his eyes. “Might?”
Julian’s mouth shifts slightly.
“I have not looked at it long enough yet.”
Theo seems to approve of that answer.
Julian points toward the wheel.
“What do you think is happening when it stops?”
Theo leans down until his face is almost level with the model. He does not answer immediately. Instead, he turns the wheel slowly and watches the string tighten.
“I think it gets too tight.”
“Why?”
Theo turns it again.
“Because this part pulls before that part moves.”
Julian reaches toward the model, then stops.
“Can I?”
Theo nods.
Julian touches the edge of the platform and moves it carefully.
“What if this side is catching before the weight shifts?”
Theo watches closely.
“So it is not the string?”
“It could still be part of it.”
Theo frowns.
“That is annoying.”
Julian gives a quiet laugh.
“Usually.”
Theo reaches for one of the plastic connectors and turns it between his fingers before replacing it in a different position. Julian does not correct him or reach over to fix it himself. He waits.
I watch them from the sofa. There is something strange about seeing Julian this way. Not because he looks out of place on my living room floor, but because he does not.