9. Aria
ARIA
My period is late.
At first, I tell myself it’s stress. Of course it’s stress. I was basically kidnapped and I’m sleeping with a man who holds all the power, terrified of a traitor who has access to my son. Stress delays periods. It’s normal. It’s fine.
Except it’s been six weeks since my last period. And I’ve been sleeping with Maksim regularly.
Fuck.
I order a pregnancy test online, burying it in an order of books so the delivery looks innocent. When it arrives three days later, I hide the box inside a hollowed-out art history textbook and wait until I’m alone.
I make sure I lock the door so I can’t be interrupted. My hands shake so badly I can barely open the package. The instructions blur in front of my eyes—pee on the stick, wait three minutes, and look for two lines.
This isn’t my first rodeo of pregnancy test taking. Unfortunately, I’m 1/1 of taking pregnancy tests and I’m hoping my odds aren’t the same this time.
I take the test and set it on the counter then pace the small bathroom while I wait. Three minutes feels like three hours. I count my breaths—one, two, three—but the numbers dissolve into static.
This can’t be happening. The timer on my phone goes off. I pick up the test with trembling hands.
There’s two lines. I’m pregnant.
The test slips from my fingers and clatters into the sink. I grip the edge of the counter and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I look like a ghost, with a pale face, wide dark eyes, and horror written across every feature.
I’m…pregnant.
With Maksim Sokolov’s child.
Again.
A hysterical laugh bubbles out of me as I sink to the floor, my back against the wall, and let the panic consume me.
I’d always wanted another baby. Even while struggling to feed Daniel, some small lizard part of me had dreamed of giving him a sibling. I always wanted a big family and I wanted to experience pregnancy again without the terror and loneliness that had defined Daniel’s.
But not like this. Never like this.
Not trapped in a house with a man who kidnapped me and while my freedom is already gone and my choices have been stripped away piece by piece.
This traps me in every possible way.
I can’t run while pregnant. I can’t climb walls or squeeze through tight spaces or do any of the desperate things I’d been planning in the back of my mind. My body will betray me and make escape impossible.
Another child tied to this dangerous world. Another innocent life that will grow up surrounded by violence and secrets and men who kill without hesitation. Another child at risk from Alexander. Another target. Another person he can use against me if he decides I know too much.
My body—the one thing I thought I still controlled—has betrayed me. It’s created another chain tying me to Maksim and to this life I never chose.
God, how could I be so fucking stupid? How could I have had unprotected sex with Maksim?
Maksim. God, Maksim will use the pregnancy to justify keeping me here to cement his ownership of my life.
I press my hands to my still-flat stomach and feel a sob erupt out of me. I’m trapped. Completely, utterly, irreversibly trapped.
And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I try to hide my pregnancy and pretend nothing has changed, but morning sickness is a cruel bitch.
It starts a week after I take the test. I wake up feeling fine, then the smell of coffee makes my stomach turn. I barely make it to the bathroom before I’m retching into the toilet.
I tell Maksim it’s a summer bug. He frowns but accepts it.
The next morning, same thing. And the next. By the fourth day, I’m exhausted from lack of sleep and constant nausea, and I can see suspicion growing in Maksim’s eyes.
“You should see a doctor,” he says over breakfast. I’m sipping ginger tea, which is the only thing I can keep down while he and Daniel eat pancakes.
“I’m fine.” I force a smile. “It’s just a bug. It’ll pass.”
“Bugs don’t last a week.” He’s watching me too closely. “I’m calling the estate doctor.”
My stomach flips for entirely new reasons. “No,” I say loudly. Even Daniel looks up in confusion and I give him a strained smile. “I said I’m fine.”
His eyes narrow, but Daniel interrupts with a question about their fishing trip this afternoon, and the moment passes.
I think I’ve bought myself time.
I’m wrong.
The next morning, I wake up with nausea so intense I know I won’t make it to my bathroom. I stumble out of bed and rush to Maksim’s bathroom instead. I barely make it to the toilet before I’m vomiting violently.
I’m so focused on not dying that I don’t hear the door open or the footsteps approaching. I don’t realize Maksim is there until I feel his hand on my back, pulling my hair away from my face.
“It’s okay, moya,” he murmurs. “I’ve got you.”
The words go away, stop touching me are on the tip of my tongue but another wave of nausea hits and I retch into the toilet while he holds my hair and rubs circles on my back.
When it finally subsides, I’m shaking and sweating, my stomach muscles aching. Maksim hands me a damp washcloth and I press it to my face, trying to calm my racing heart.
“How long?” Maksim asks quietly.
“How long what?” I croak out, relishing the coolness of the rag against my heated face.
“How long have you been pregnant?”
I freeze. The washcloth slips from my numb fingers.
“I—I’m not—” I gasp out, the room feeling suddenly too small.
“Don’t lie to me, Ariana.” He crouches beside me, and I can see him putting the pieces together that now seem so obvious—the nausea, the exhaustion, the way I’ve been avoiding certain foods. “How long have you known?”
I want to keep this secret like I’ve hidden everything else. But what’s the point? He knows. I can see it in his eyes.
“A week,” I whisper, my mouth dry and sour. “I-I’ve known for a week.”
For a moment, he doesn’t move or speak. He just stares at me with those gray eyes.
But then his face transforms. I’ve seen Maksim angry and I’ve seen him passionate and furious.
But I’ve never seen pure, unfiltered joy on his face.
His eyes go almost silver in the morning light.
His mouth curves into a smile so genuine that it makes him look years younger.
The hard lines around his eyes soften, and for just a moment I see the man I fell in love with eight years ago.
“A baby,” he breathes. His hand moves to my stomach. “We’re having a baby.” He laughs in delight.
My stomach roils. I open my mouth to speak but he pulls me into his arms before I can finish, lifting me off the bathroom floor like I weigh nothing. His embrace is tight, almost crushing, and I can feel him trembling.
“A baby,” he says again, his voice rough with emotion. He buries his face in my hair, and I feel his chest heaving against mine. “Aria, we’re having a baby.”
I should feel joy or fear or anything other than this hollow numbness. But all I feel is trapped.
I shove against his chest. “Let go of me.”
“What?” He pulls back just enough to look at my face, confusion replacing some of the joy. “Aria, what on earth?”
“I said let go.” I push harder, and he releases me. I stumble backward until I hit the wall. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“Doesn’t change—?” He stares at me like I’m speaking another language. “Aria, we’re having a baby. How does that not change everything?”
“It just makes everything worse.” My voice is rising, hysteria creeping in at the edges. “It’s just another way you’re trapping me here.”
His expression hardens. “I’m not trapping you. You’re the mother of my children. This is your home.”
“This is a prison!” I’m shouting now, and I don’t care if I wake Daniel. “You kidnapped me! You’re holding me here against my will! And now you’ve gotten me pregnant, and I’m trapped in every possible way!”
His eyes narrow into slits. “I didn’t ‘get you pregnant.’” He uses air quotes around the words. “We made a baby together. You’ve been a very willing and vocal participant in all of this.”
“Every time I had no choice!” I snap, my cheeks flaming at his point because yes, I have been willing but not to have a baby with him. “You’ve trapped me in every possible way. My son, my freedom, and now my body.”
“You trapped yourself.” His eyes are cold now, the joy completely gone. “You trapped yourself by running and keeping my son from me.”
“I ran to protect him!” I’m crying now, tears running down my face. “I ran to protect Daniel from—”
“From what?” He’s right in front of me now, his hands gripping my shoulders. “Protect him from what, Aria? Tell me what you actually saw that night that made you feel you couldn’t come to me for help!”
The truth is right there, pressing against my teeth, demanding to be spoken. But I can’t.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
He releases me like I’ve branded him. “Then we have nothing more to discuss.” He steps back, a cool mask descending on his face. “You’re pregnant with my child. You’re staying here where I can protect you and make sure you and the baby are healthy and safe.”
I wipe harshly at my eyes. “I don’t want your protection.”
“That’s too fucking bad,” he says icily. “You’re getting it anyway.”
He walks out, leaving me alone in the bathroom with the knowledge that I’m more trapped than ever.
Maksim becomes unbearable after that.
He’s always been protective of Daniel and controlling about my movements, but now it’s suffocating.
He insists I see the estate doctor immediately. Dr. Petrov—the estate doctor—confirms what we already know. Seven weeks pregnant. Due in early spring. Everything looks healthy so far.
Maksim is there for the whole appointment, asking questions, taking notes, and looking at me like I’m made of glass.
He moves me out of my suite and into his room permanently because apparently, I shouldn’t be alone in case something happens.
I argue, but he overrides me. My things appear in his closet. My toiletries in his bathroom.
My agency, gone.
He monitors what I eat. He’s researched pregnancy nutrition and has opinions about everything I put in my mouth.