CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ROYCE
“Sammy. What are you doing here?” I actually stop in my own fucking tracks when I walk out of our room to find her sitting at the breakfast bar.
She tosses her head back laughing. “It’s the fucking EMAs, Royce. You really think I’d let my husband be dateless at an award show?”
I shrug. At this point, I’m not entirely sure what I think she would or wouldn’t do to her husband. Most of the time she seems to be on an all-out mission to torture the fuck out of him.
“He just didn’t mention it, that’s all.” I start moving again. I need a fucking coffee to process this shit. “He does know you’re here, right?” It’s a legitimate question, although judging by her expression, she hardly thinks so.
“Yes, he fucking knows. Shit, Royce. What’s your fucking problem?”
I want to tell her. Fucking A, I want to let her know exactly what my problems are. And after watching Derek drown in a misery she poured down upon him day after fucking day, the list is long. But I don’t.
“No problem. No problem at all. It’s nice to see you, Sammy. Been a while.” I even manage a fake smile to go with my phony as shit tone .
“See. That wasn’t so hard.”
I shrug. That’s debatable.
Thankfully, Angel wanders in before I can say so.
“Yo.” He reaches into the fridge for a water, clearly still half asleep. Then he spots her. “Sammy?”
She throws her hands up, getting pissed. “What the fuck is wrong with you guys? If one more person acts shocked to see me, I’m going to scream.”
“Damn, girl. No need to get all worked up. It’s cool. We like the element of surprise around here.”
That’s one way of putting it.
“Derek didn’t tell you either?” I ask, ignoring the dirty look Sammy shoots me.
“Nah.” Angel doesn’t need to expound on his answer. The general consensus regarding Sammy and Derek’s relationship is pretty solidly settled in ‘she’s ruining his fucking life’ these days, and at this point, she’ll have to do some serious proving herself for us to welcome her back with open arms again. Of course, she seems completely oblivious to our position, or why we might feel entitled to have such.
Meanwhile, another train of thought takes off in my slowly waking brain, now working at more efficient speeds since having been jolted with a healthy dose of caffeine.
“Hey, are you bringing anyone tonight?”
Angel leans against the counter, purposely keeping his back to Sammy. “Yeah. Why?”
I frown. “Who are you bringing?”
“Petra.”
I twist my mouth back and forth trying to place her. “That model you were hooking up with last year? ”
He nods. “Yeah. She’s in town for work, so I figured why not mix business with pleasure. Know what I’m sayin’?” Everyone always knows what he’s saying. He only ever talks about one damn thing when it comes to the opposite sex.
“So, you’ll be there with Petra, Derek has Sammy. And obviously Blaise and Ava will be there together. That just leaves me. Dateless.” Except, not exactly.
Angel tips his head to the side, his brows knitted. “Where’s Hudson going to be?”
“He’ll be there. He’s gotta be there as per his contract.” Which makes the whole thing even worse.
“I don’t get it. If your man’s gonna be there, how the hell will you be dateless?”
“Wait. Royce has a man? Since when?” Considering how hard Angel and I are trying to pretend she doesn’t exist, Sammy really isn’t picking up on being ignored. Or maybe she is and just doesn’t give a shit.
“Yes, I’m seeing someone. No, it’s none of your fucking business. Handle your own shitty marriage before you come sticking your nose into my love life.” Well, so much for not saying anything.
“What the hell do you know about my marriage?” She’s climbing down from her barstool and stalking over on her six-inch heels. Shoes she clearly can’t walk in. No big shocker considering she probably doesn’t wear anything outside of Crocs every day at the hospital she works at.
“Just forget I said anything, alright? Let’s just both agree that when it comes to our relationships, we stay out of each other’s business.” I don’t wait for her to answer. Nor do I continue my conversation with Angel. I have more pressing matters to deal with. Namely finding a date on short notice that won’t have any expectations beyond strolling down the red carpet and making me look like a pussy loving heterosexual.
Given the limited privacy around this place, I opt for Derek’s usual go-to. The balcony. Since Sammy’s here in person, I figure he won’t be needing it.
I scroll through the contact list in my phone, but most of the names popping up are completely useless. Either I haven’t spoken to them in years or, they’re on the wrong continent. This is of course, after I rule out all the ones who are the wrong sex.
Then, I land in the F’s and hit on my own personal jackpot.
I swipe call before I can think about it too much and realize how fucking stupid of a move I’m about to make.
“This shit better be important.” Francis is still half asleep.
“It’s Royce.”
“Yeah, I know. I have fucking caller I.D. Why do you think I answered?” I can hear her moving around in her bed, the shuffling of blankets and pillows rustling loudly in my ear.
“If I didn’t know you were always this pleasant, I’d guess you weren’t a morning person,” I tease.
“Oh Royce, how you jest. Do you actually have a fucking point or are you just calling to make sure I get as little fucking sleep as possible? I mean, Ava was already on top of that what with the list of shit she had me do on my red eye flight out here, but fuck, why not keep the good times rolling? I only have to finalize all the most important details of your EMA appearance this evening.” Her massive skills of sarcasm are but a minor part of why Francis fits into our fucked-up family so nicely.
“Speaking of the EMAs. Want to be my date tonight? ”
“Sure. Why the fuck not?” And that’s the other. She lives by the same code we all do. If a friend needs you, you say yes, no questions asked.
“Now get some sleep for fuck’s sake. I don’t want to go strolling down the red carpet with something that wandered off the set of The Walking Dead.”
She laughs. “Yeah, okay. Later, asshole.” And Francis hangs up before I can return the insult.
I slide the phone back into my pocket and turn around to face the door. One obstacle cleared and one more to go. Somehow, I’ll have to explain to Hudson why I’m taking Francis as my date. Especially considering he will be there as well.
I start to head inside to face him when I begin to fictionalize the entire situation. And by fictionalize, I mean I lie to myself. Bold faced lies. Terrible lies only the most gullible person on earth would believe. Well, that’s me. And I know that. Which is precisely why I tell myself these lies.
Starting with the one where I convince myself Hudson doesn’t really need to know that Francis is going to be my date. He’s going as the band photographer, who’s to say that she won’t be included as part of the band’s management team? I buy it. I also don’t bat an eye when I go on to tell myself that really, Hudson won’t be upset even if he does find out, since we’ve already agreed not to go public about our relationship and I clearly can’t be the only one there without a date. So really, I’m doing the right thing by taking Francis. A friend. A fill in. A completely innocent arrangement which couldn’t possible hurt anyone .
Anyone except myself and the one person I would walk over shards of glass for if it kept him from feeling any pain. Just, you know, not in public.
As soon as I step back inside, I find myself in the middle of a new shitstorm altogether, so talking myself out of my pathetic new plan to have a secret date right in front of Hudson is no longer an issue. Breaking up a catfight between Sammy and Ava is suddenly bumped up to the top slot on my to-do list.
“What the fuck is going on?” I come back into the suite to find Blaise with both arms wrapped around Ava’s waist as she lunges herself toward Sammy, who isn’t being restrained by anyone. Unfortunately.
“This lunatic just accused me of hitting on her husband.” Ava swings out with her right fist, barely missing Sammy’s face.
“Please. I saw the way you were looking at him when the two of you walked in here.” She tips her head toward Derek, lasers shooting from her bulging eyeballs. “Tell me, does Blaise know you’re fucking his girlfriend?”
Ava screams out loud and Blaise has to use his entire body weight to anchor her in place. “Would you do something? Fuck! This is insane!”
But Derek just stands there, pitifully frozen in place and looking slightly guilty. Although, I suspect it has less to do with Sammy’s accusations and more with the fact that secretly he’s probably rooting for Ava to beat the shit out of her.
“Sammy,” I cut in between them, “don’t you think we’d all know if Derek and Ava were fucking?”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that you all know. Probably having a good laugh at my expense every time it happens. I mean, why else would everyone have been so shocked to see me here this morning?” Now she’s getting in my face too, which incidentally only pisses Ava off more.
Before she can launch another attack, Blaise manages to spin her around and start her moving away from Sammy and toward their room. They’re halfway there when Angel and Hudson come in through the main door.
“It’s about damn time you two showed up again. How the hell long does it take to shoot a fucking picture?” Blaise doesn’t wait for an answer from either one of them before he lifts Ava into their room and slams the door shut behind him.
“What’s going on?” Angel hurries toward our little gathering with Hudson right behind him. I assume he met Sammy at some point while I was out on the balcony talking to Francis.
“Ava is banging my husband, that’s what!” Sammy spats.
Leave it to Angel to literally laugh in her face. “Yeah, okay.”
“Whatever. I wouldn’t expect you to tell me the truth. You assholes all stick together anyway.” She gestures at all of us, including Derek who still stands by without saying a single fucking word. Apparently, she’s already used up every ounce of fight the man had in him. No big revelation here. Derek is about the most peace-loving motherfucker around. But I guess you don’t come across a whole lot of Libra’s who aren’t pro harmony.
“I’d tell you the truth.” Hudson’s eyes dart back and forth between Angel and I, and he corrects himself, “I mean, they’re all telling you the truth, but I would have no reason to stick up for Derek or Ava.”
Sammy scoffs. “Aren’t you the guy banging Royce these days? Ava’s little bitch? Yeah, I’m sure you’d be all too happy to sell her out. Not! ”
Hudson ignores her, staying his usual mellow self despite her derogatory comments. His reaction actually helps keep mine in check, because I’m ready to fucking pounce on her ass. I don’t care if she’s a chick or not.
“Fine. Don’t take my word for it. See for yourself.” Hudson walks toward her, holding his camera and scrolling through the images until he finds what he’s looking for. “Here. Took these just last night. You really think a guy this miserable is having sex with anyone?”
In an instant, Sammy’s entire demeanor changes. She practically rips Hudson’s camera from his hands. “When last night?”
Hudson stares at Derek uncomfortably. “After he got off the phone with you. I wouldn’t have taken the picture at all, but there was something so beautiful and raw about the emotion. And then the moon in the background. I’m really sorry, dude. It was a total invasion of privacy.”
I don’t even think about it. All it takes is the sincerity in his eyes and his tender, genuine tone to make me want to stand beside him. Claim him. I’ll never meet another man like him. I know that. I fucking know it in my gut, at the core of my being, and in that moment, I cast aside all of my idiotic inabilities to show any sort of affection to the man I love, and I take two strides toward him and clasp his hand in mine. Tightly.
Meanwhile, Derek is too tired to give a shit about anything anymore. Least of all a picture. Certainly not when that very picture is now putting a stop to the precise insanity causing him his state of total exhaustion in the first place.
“It’s fine, man. You were just doing your job. I could have gone to my room. I’m the one burdening everyone with all of my drama all the goddamn time, it’s almost nice to know someone was able to do something creative with it for a change. I certainly haven’t been able to. If I write one more song about a motherfucking whiny ass sap crying in his fucking cornflakes, I’m going to break my own fucking fingers just to keep from being able to play it.”
Then, because the bitch is clearly certifiably insane, Sammy runs to Derek, wraps both arms around his neck and crams her tongue into his mouth like she’s some skank on Jerry Springer. Considering the dude has been living like a fucking monk, he isn’t about to stop her. So, as one does with wild unpredictable beasts, the rest of us carefully back out of the room while she’s distracted.
“That was really cool what you did in there, Hudson.” Angel pats him on the shoulder as he splits off to go into his room.
“It really wasn’t anything. You know the saying, a picture is worth a thousand words? Figured it would be beneficial to all of us to see if that was true.” He grins.
Angel just nods. Then lets his eyes drop down to where Hudson’s hand is still pressed firmly to mine. “Yeah. That part was cool, too.” He winks at me just as he’s closing his door.
“What was that about?” Hudson makes a face.
“I think you just got the official welcome to the Finding Nolan family. Not sure if I should hug you or tell you to make a run for it.” I’m joking, but he stays totally serious.
“Or...you could kiss me.” Any other time, the words would be accompanied by the actions and he would already be leaning in to make a move. Except this time, he doesn’t. It’s like he suddenly understood what Angel meant. Like he knew exactly what he was asking me to do. Because it isn’t about kissing him the same way I have a hundred times over in the last few weeks. It’s about kissing him out in the open. And maybe it’s nuts that I would even hesitate for a fucking second in the privacy of our own suite with only the people I trust most in the world around, and yet, I do. I hesitate. Then, just as he begins to step back, I close my eyes and crush my mouth to his.
HUDSON
Royce kisses me, but it’s too fucking late. I saw it. Saw the hesitation in his face. Saw the exchange between him and Angel. It’s more than just having an aversion to showing affection publicly. It’s about showing me affection publicly.
And publicly isn’t even outside of the four walls we call home while on the road. Apparently, the only place Royce is actually in love with me is inside our bedroom, which brings some really fucking uncomfortable highlights of previous conversations with Ava and pimping back into my mind.
But then I feel his hand slide down my back, drawing me to him. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m being paranoid. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and more to do with Sammy and her drama with Derek. Having her here certainly made for an unpleasant shift in the energy around the suite. And Royce won’t be the only one feeling uneasy because of it. I mean, the place cleared the fuck out, shortly after her arrival. Even before the fight between her and Ava broke out, Angel was all too eager to drag me out to the roof to get some crazy shots of him doing handstands with the skyline in the background. I thought it was weird until I looked through my lens. That shit is going to be badass when I get it developed.
The more I think about it, the more I convince myself that Royce is just on edge because of the previous showdown, and the look from Angel, well, maybe it was exactly what Royce said, a sense of accepting that I’m here to stay. That he and I are a unit now.
By the time he’s backing me into our own room, it all makes perfect sense to me. Except for this one nagging thought, that the truth rarely needs so much convincing of.