CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ROYCE?
“What do you think?” I hold up the band for Ava to see.
“I think I’m going to fucking cry again.” She leans so far into my lap, her nose is almost touching the ring.
“Well, if you’re about to start snotting all over the place, you need to back the fuck up.” I laugh and carefully put the wedding band back into its little velvet box. “Now, you’re not going to lose this, right?”
“Me? I thought the best man is in charge of the ring.” She dabs at the corners of her eyes to fix the smudged eyeliner. She’s been a total freaking sap ever since the night of the proposal three months ago.
“Yeah, like I’m really going to trust Blaise with this. You’re in charge until we’re standing at the altar. Then, casually hand it off to him. At that point, even he should be able to manage keeping track of it.”
After carefully considering our options in terms of our wedding party, Hudson and I decided to keep things simple. Since my parents are definitely not going to be attending, and his mother definitely is, we thought it would only make sense to have the two most important women in our lives walk us down the aisle. So, while he will be escorted by his mother, I will be making the walk down to the altar with Ava by my side .
When it came to picking a best man, Blaise, Derek and Angel drew straws and Blaise won. Which seems fitting really, all things considered. On Hudson’s side, he asked his friend Carlos to stand up with him. I have yet to meet him, but if he’s important to my fiancé, he’s already important to me. As for Derek and Angel, we split them up evenly and each took one. As far as picking a side of the aisle, we left that part up to them. The way my life has been turning out lately, I’m really starting to enjoy the element of surprise.
“Alright, we’ve got the ring. What’s next on the list?” Ava scrolls across the screen of her phone. Even though it isn’t actually her wedding, she’s pretty much treating it as if it is. Calls it her ‘dress rehearsal’, but only when Blaise isn’t around to hear it. Anyway, as part of her little practice run, she’s insisting on being copied and pasted into every email Paris, our wedding planner, sends out.
“Okay, we need to go finalize the cake.”
I shake my head. “Nope. Hudson and his mom are taking care of that.” Maxine has been in town for nearly a week already. Ever since I met her over Christmas, she’s been busy making up for all the years I was motherless. No one is shocked when Max and Ava declare they’re new BFFs, and I finally understand why Hudson wasn’t more put off by my overbearing and outspoken friends. And, the added bonus is, of course, finding yet another thing to love about him. His mother.
Meanwhile, Ava is seriously disappointed regarding the cake situation.
“What do you mean? I was really looking forward to going back there. It’s a bakery. They have cake. Lots of it. And one of them was Nutella flavored. ”
“If I tell you that we included it as one of the five flavors in our insane cake and then take you to the cupcake shop one block over right now, will you stop asking why Hudson went to finalize the cake for his wedding?”
She nods. “Okay.”
One of the jewelers who helped us earlier comes and gets the door for us. They had to lock us inside for security reasons. Unfortunately, those reasons are still waiting for us when we step out onto the sidewalk.
“Royce, is it true you’ve bought an engagement ring?” It’s the first question I can actually make out among the shouting.
“No. It’s not true.” I take Ava’s hand and proceed to lead her through the crowd toward her car, which is parked merely a few feet in front of us. Of course, it could have been miles what with the major speed bumps wielding cameras we’re hitting.
To distract them while Ava makes a run for it and starts the car, I raise my hand holding the fancy paper bag containing my ring and call out loudly, “It’s a wedding band. I’m getting married.”
More questions ensue, none of which I understand specifically, but I gather what’s at the center of all of their inquiring is the identity of my fiancé. So, taking a deep breath and feeling my heart swell with the joy that comes from simply fucking saying his name, I smile and announce, “Kieran Hudson. I’m getting married to Kieran Hudson.”
Then, taking full advantage of having stumped the paparazzi for the first time ever, I run for the car and jump in.
Two hours later, I’m strolling in through my front door, a bag of cupcakes in hand.
“Babe? ”
“In the kitchen,” he calls back.
I wander in, planting a kiss on him as I pass him while heading toward the fridge with my leftover baked goods. “So, I went ahead and took care of sending out our wedding announcements while I was out.”
He stops chopping the veggies he has laid out on the counter for dinner. “What are you talking about?”
“Ava and I ran into some local representatives of the media while we were out and I arranged for them to run it.” I grin. “Pretty sure shouting out that I’m marrying a man will get us front page coverage. I know you were worried about some of your family back in Texas not hearing the news, so you know, thought I’d take care of that for you.”
Hudson stares back at me, stunned. “Who are you?”
“I’m still me. But with you.” My hands land on his hips and I pull him toward me.
“If someone like you could love me, there must be something there that’s worth something.”
He smiles, softening the contours of his handsome face. “It’s worth everything.”
His lips come up to meet mine and I’m about to taste what I’ve been missing all day. Then.
“Hey, boys. What’s cooking?”
Having Max here is no different from living with Ava really.
Hudson still brushes my mouth with his in a fast peck but turns back toward his veggies and chopping board. “Stir fry. Gonna throw some shrimp in there, too. Should be plenty.” He glances back at me over his shoulder. “Anyone else coming by for dinner? ”
I shrug. “If you don’t close that window, yeah. Blaise gets a whiff of this over at their house and we’ll have at least three more people here.”
“Three?”
I nod, crunching on a carrot I stole from his pile. “Ava’s sister, Addison, showed up just as we got home. She had a big ol’ bag with her, so you know, that’s not a good sign.”
Max starts pulling dishes from the cupboards to set the table. “Maybe she’s just here for the wedding.”
“Doubt it. She goes to school at CSU, so no need to bring any luggage for a visit.” I go to grab another carrot but get my hand smacked. “Ouch.”
“Never mind your ouch. Do you need to go over there and make sure everything is alright?”
I shake my head. “No way. I’m getting married in three days. ‘Ava drama’ is on her until after we get back from Bora Bora.” Our honeymoon, compliments of Ava and Blaise. They’ve been going every six months since their first trip there and I feel both honored and scared that they want us to share in whatever it is they experience when they go. As long as they don’t wind up in a bungalow next door, we’ll be all good.
“He’s right,” Max agrees. “I’ll go see.”
I’m not gonna lie. I feel a twinge of jealousy as I watch her walk out of the room to head over to the Nolan/Jennison household to handle what was once exclusively my business. But I guess this was what expanding the family is all about it. And she definitely feels like family to me.
The next few days fly by and we spend most of them indoors thanks to the swarm of photogs permanently camped out in front of our gate in hopes of capturing some new footage of me and the man they sought to ignore thus far. It’s weird and sort of pathetic really, that after all this time and all of the media attention equal marriage rights and celebrities who are openly gay have already gotten, my marriage to a man is still cause for such a frenzy. Even stranger perhaps, is that none of it makes me panic anymore. And it isn’t like all of the attention we’re getting is positive, but the fact that it’s so newsworthy makes me realize just how important going public with it has been. Two people falling in love, really shouldn’t make headlines anymore. Or, maybe, that’s exactly the type of headline we need more of.
Then, before I know it, I’m waking up and it’s April 2nd. Our wedding day. Hudson takes off extra early with Max and Carlos, while Blaise, Derek and Angel come by the house to hang out with me. There haven’t been any bachelor parties what with the non-stop partying that accompanies our lifestyle the bulk of the year, so this little gathering is sort of in its place.
“You ready?” Blaise is busy straightening out my collar. I’ve been fidgeting with it for ten minutes and wound up making a mess of it.
“Yes, I’m ready. Why? I don’t look ready to you?” Shit. I don’t sound ready.
He laughs. “Oh no, you look more than ready. But you may want to take off your shoes and put some socks on.”
Damn. The one time I could have benefited from having Ava lay out my clothes for me and she’s nowhere in sight. “Man, where’s your woman anyway?”
“Why? You need her to pick your socks out for you? I can probably handle that. I’m thinking black with your tux, right?” He’s still grinning when I turn away and make a beeline for my dresser.
“Seriously though. How come Ava isn’t here?” Angel leans in the doorway eating one of the muffins Ava had delivered as part of our bachelor brunch...or whatever it is we’re having.
“She and Addison went to make sure everything was all set up and perfect for the wedding at the Portofino,” Blaise answers as he yanks the blue sock out of my hand and gives me a black one to match the one I already have.
“Bam Bam’s here? I mean, I guess it makes sense she’s coming to the wedding.” Even in the midst of my sock fiasco, I can tell Angel’s tone is off. Blaise doesn’t though. Nor does anyone else seem to think it’s weird that after all these years, Angel’s still referring to Addy as Bam Bam. Maybe he hasn’t seen her in a while because at twenty-one she’s a far cry from the eleven-year-old who used to crash our band practice in hopes of getting a chance to bang around on his drums.
“Addison’s here for the wedding and then some,” Blaise explains. “She’s staying with us until further notice. Had a bag the size of a U-Haul truck when she showed up here.”
Before I can ask Angel about his sudden interest in Ava’s baby sister and welcome the distraction with open arms, Derek chimes in.
“Car’s here.”
“Perfect timing. Royce is fully clothed and ready to go.” Blaise leads the way out of my walk-in closet, then stops and turns back. “You are wearing underwear, right?”
I shake my head and smirk. “Going it Blaise and Angel style.”
“I shouldn’t have asked. ”
From here, I can’t really say what happens. My mind is like in a fucking haze, mostly just replaying the last few months and how I’ve gone from thinking I was destined to spend my life alone because I’d never be able to be figure my shit out enough to have someone else be willing to take it on, to being here, in this moment where the man I love is about to promise me a lifetime of partnership, family and safe haven.
One by one, the guys hug me and head up to the altar to take their places. Angel winds up on my side next to Blaise, while Derek is lined up nicely beside Carlos, standing directly across from Sammy, who’s sitting right up front with Francis.
“Hi, gorgeous.” Ava hooks her arm in mine.
“It’s about time you showed up.”
She grins. “I left you in good hands, my friend. Tell me, how did Blaise handle it? Think he’d be down for being the groom at the next shindig we throw?”
“You do know this day is about me, right?”
“Uh-huh.” She stares straight ahead, and I follow her gaze down the aisle. All three of the guys are still standing exactly where I saw them last, except now, as I step up to take my own walk down the aisle, they’re all holding the pictures they showed me that night I proposed. Ava’s had them matted and framed, completely color coordinated with every other aspect of the decorations. Then she leans in toward me, squeezing my hand and whispers, “And this is from me.”
When she lets go and I glance down into my palm, I see a tiny platinum baby rattle there. It’s so small it looks like it could have been part of some weird new baby themed monopoly game. “What’s this? ”
“My uterus. I’m not saying you should run out and make lots of babies tomorrow, but when the day comes, just know you’ve got an oven for your bun.” She smiles up at me, eyes glossy. “You’re going to have it all, Royce. Anything you want. Anything you dream up. From this day forward, I hope you never hesitate to reach for it ever again.”
I’m speechless. And I stay that way the entire walk down to the altar. Then, just as I think I’m regaining my composure, I look up to see Hudson coming toward me and all I can think is ‘my cup runneth over.’
HUDSON
“You look so handsome, baby,” my mother gushes.
“Thanks, Ma. You look beautiful as well. I’m so glad you’re here with me, to walk with me.” I take her arm in mine.
“Where else would I be?” She uses her free hand to wipe her eyes and I know it’ll be a tear free-for-all before we even make it down the aisle. “You know, for a long time I thought you’d never be able to experience this day. And now here we are. Laws have changed. Rights are being acknowledged. It’s a better world than it was ten years ago. Just think what else will change another ten years from today.”
She’s right. Ten years ago, Royce and I would not have been able to do what we’re doing today. It’s strange and heartbreaking to think of what that might have been like. Ten years ago, marriage wasn’t exactly on my radar. But now, the idea of being denied the freedom to stand up in front of the world and talk about how much I love this man, to make promises to him that will bind us for life, is enough to make me want to scream. The ideals of marriage, the fantasy of that happy ever after and the tradition of the ceremony, simply can’t be compared to any other event or exchange. No matter how much some people like to pretend that a commitment ceremony isn’t that different. It is.
So, as I begin the last part of my journey leading me to Royce, I send up a prayer of gratitude, that my world as I know it, is not deprived or limited in any way. That I am loved, not only by my mother, and friends who are more like family, but also, and most importantly, by a man who fought a war to be with me, when he’d never been to battle on his own behalf.
Royce Lemmi is in love with me. And there’s nothing secret about that.