Chapter 12 #2
Crossing the stream isn’t difficult. The water isn’t very deep and thanks to my not-broken-in, blister-inducing waterproof boots, my socks and leggings stay dry.
Reaching the opposite side is when footing becomes harder to find along the ravine wall.
Hence the chain. I copy Ben’s movements, taking hold of the chain in both hands and hauling myself up along the cavern wall, toes and ankles turned outward as my face is brought within inches of cold, wet rock.
“You good?” Ben asks, looking back to check on me.
“Yup. Do this all the time.”
He huffs out a short laugh before stepping his way forward to the side of the falls, where the water is a slow trickle. Then Ben scales the mini waterfall, barely touching the chain I cling to, in all of five long, upward strides.
By the time I reach the bottom, where Ben stood seconds ago, he’s looming over me from above. “You’ve got this.”
Nodding my head, I repeat, “I’ve got this.”
Allowing the chain to slip through my fingers until my grip is just above my head, I wedge the toe of my right boot into a crevice in the rocks.
I push down, making sure there’s enough leverage to hold me, then maneuver my left foot onto a different rock a little higher up.
Continuing this slow-but-upward trajectory, I move my hands up the chain, testing each foothold before trusting it with my full weight.
When my upper body summits the edge of the waterfall, Ben offers me a hand to help me the rest of the way. But I don’t take it.
“I’ve got it,” I say, determined.
Carefully, I release the chain and use my palms to push off the rocks at my waist and get a knee over the ledge. When I’m standing again, I dust my wet, muddy hands off on my hiking pants.
Looking up, Ben’s smiling at me as if I just medaled in a triathlon. “You did great, Ems.”
“Thanks,” I say casually, but I’m certain from the way my cheeks stretch tight that I’m beaming brighter than the fucking sun.
I climbed a waterfall in Iceland!
Scaled that motherfucker like it was nothing!
Granted, it was a mini waterfall. Still, I’m going to revel in these endorphins for the rest of the day. I feel just like Bear Grylls.
By the time we reach the waterfall we came to see, I’m practically hopscotching over the river stones.
And what a beauty this one is. Walls of moss-covered rock form a circular alcove, and broken sunlight streams in through the opening far above our heads.
Freshwater pours like a faucet over the far wall, forming the stream that pools at our feet.
“Now, this place is amazing,” I declare. “I’m so happy I made it.”
Ben holds his camera in one hand while he watches me. “Can I take your picture?”
“Right now?” I glance down at my waterproof jacket and pants, covered in dirt and other naturous debris. “I don’t know, I think my influencer stage has passed.”
Ben’s mouth twitches. “Well, that was short-lived.”
“Ah yes,” I say lightheartedly, “but all good things must come to an end.”
His grin falls away as intensity builds in his gaze. “Maybe that’s true. But maybe, if you’re lucky, you can get them back.”
My breath becomes trapped in my chest. “I’m, uh, kind of a mess,” I manage.
Ben shakes his head, expression now unmistakable. His eyes are dark green pools of heat, and he’s biting his bottom lip like he wants to do things to me. All the things. “You’re so fucking beautiful right now.”
My stomach swoops in a nosedive worthy of an aerial flight show. “Please. I just hiked through a ravine and up a waterfall,” I say, deflecting his compliment. “I’m soaking wet and covered in dirt.”
Ben moves closer, and the air is instantly thick and heavy, almost unbearable, unbreathable. “It doesn’t matter. You’re always beautiful. Please let me take your picture?”
Despite my multiple layers of clothing, the intonation of Ben’s voice makes the question sound scandalous, as if he’s asking to take my photo while I’m naked in his bed. Which is not something I should think about if I’m trying to tame this heated desire that has sprung out of the thin, cold air.
Then again, do I want to tame this feeling?
These superathlete endorphins are affecting my thoughts, emboldening me. If I can climb a fucking waterfall, there’s no limit to what I can do today. Maybe I want to be a little reckless. This is a day of yeses after all…
With a self-assured nod that comes from someplace within me I didn’t know existed until this very instant, I tell Ben, “Yeah, go ahead.”
Ben grins devilishly, then lifts his camera and starts snapping. I don’t know what I should be doing, or how I should be posing, and despite my bravery endorphins, self-consciousness works its way to my outer facade.
“What do I do?” I ask as Ben circles around me.
“Pretend I’m not here.”
“Oh. Well, if you weren’t here, I’d probably be scaling the ravine wall with nothing but a rope and my bare hands. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m quite the athlete. To be honest, you’re kind of holding me back.”
Ben lowers his camera, an amused smile playing over his lips. “That so?”
I tilt my head skyward, closing my eyes and basking in a flash of momentary sunlight that sweeps over my cheeks.
My smile is irrepressible, and a series of shutter clicks punctures the air.
Ben’s attention is a drug, one that I’ve missed for far too long.
Or maybe it’s the satisfaction of accomplishing something I didn’t think I had in me, of finally doing the things I swore I would do all those years I was in Hudson Springs waiting for my opportunity to shine.
When I drop my chin and open my eyes, Ben’s camera is lowered and he’s watching me again, the heat in his eyes from moments ago replaced by something sad, something remorseful.
And I can’t fucking stand it.
The hollowed-out ache in my chest propels me forward, and I know this is a bad idea but I don’t think I can stop myself now.
My gaze holds Ben’s as I move toward him, and he reads something in my eyes that makes him set his camera down on the backpack at his feet.
As soon as I’m within reach, his arms come around me and he spins me so that my back is pressed against the hard, wet ravine wall.
The heat in his eyes is back. Mission accomplished.
“Are we doing this, Ems?” he asks, so close now that his full lower lip faintly brushes my top one.
“We probably shouldn’t,” I breathe. Though I don’t know why I say it, there’s only been one other time in my life I wanted a kiss as much as I want this one right now.
“That isn’t what I asked.”
Unable to resist this pull between us any longer, I nod vehemently and tighten my arms around his neck. “Yeah. We’re doing this.”
Ben’s mouth covers mine the next instant, at once hungry and urgent and feeling so much like home I want to cry.
I think I do cry a little bit, at least a small whimper escapes my throat anyway.
At my stifled noises, Ben’s tongue sweeps across my lower lip, and I lose myself in this kiss.
I pull him closer, forcing his body flush against mine, relishing the delicious weight of him pinning me against the ravine wall.
His hands slip underneath my layers and clutch the bare skin at my waist, and I think he might be losing himself, too.
Kissing Ben is somehow still familiar and completely different all at once.
He’s the comfort of the first boy I ever kissed and the thrill of a man whose body is brand-new to me.
His shoulders are wider, his muscles stronger, his demeanor more confident and commanding. But he still tastes like cinnamon.
Ben’s thumb strokes across the bare skin at my hip bone, and my back arches in an involuntary spasm. He breaks our kiss then, pulling back and resting his forehead against mine while we both catch our breath.
“Goddamn, Ems,” he exhales.
Both of us are panting, and neither of us lets go of the other.
Scents of fresh earth and Ben’s soap hang in the air.
The only sounds are our heavy breaths and the water pouring down the ravine wall a few feet away.
My mind is spinning, but I don’t want to think, I want to feel.
And kissing Ben is the most incredible feeling I’ve had in years. Fourteen, to be exact.
“Did that really just happen?” Ben asks. His voice is filled with wonderment. As if he truly can’t believe where we are and what we did. It’s the vocalization of my exact thought that makes me bite down on my lower lip, the surge of pain ensuring this isn’t a dream.
Ben Carter is back in my life, and I just kissed him next to a waterfall in Iceland.
“It happened,” I say, not sure if I’m trying to convince him or me. Maybe if we try it one more time…
But Ben pulls back a little more, and I reluctantly let my arms slide away from his neck.
“Have dinner with me tonight?” he asks. “I think it’s time we settle a few things.”