Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
FARRAH
The day after my ER visit, I’m finally feeling mostly normal again. I can stand up completely straight without any soreness in my belly. The incredible pancakes probably healed me more than the hospital visit.
After finishing Footloose this morning, Bruce drove me back to the promotion party venue and helped me pack up everything I had left on the cake table before leaving for his afternoon practice. He left before I changed back into my black trousers and top, so I drove home with his navy long sleeve tee and sweats tucked into my large purse. They smell like him, musky and manly, and I’m seriously contemplating if he’ll even remember I have them. He probably has a million of the same shirt. I’m tempted to keep them and wear them since it’s the most comfortable clothing I’ve ever had on my body, but that would technically be stealing.
Plus, Bruce’s butt likely looks better than mine does in these pants. He was right…not all man butts are created equal, and his is the best I’ve ever seen. High and tight and round with muscle.
Is my car AC not working? It seems warm in here.
When I finally arrive back at Remy and Amber’s that afternoon, I head straight into the big house instead of my apartment, knowing my mother has been worried about me.
I walk in and she pounces immediately, looking me over like she’s searching for a gunshot wound. She’s still in pajama pants and a loose top, her short bob is perfectly coiffed like she just ran a curling iron through it. Her hair used to be blonder, but it’s faded to grey, softening her features.
Finally, she stops her search and pulls me into a hug. “Oh, Farrah. Are you feeling better?”
“I’m okay, I promise.” I walk further inside the house and Nella spots me and runs toward me; I crouch down on my knees, so the impact won’t hurt my stomach and give my niece a tight squeeze. “I have a follow up with my OBGYN next week. I guess my ovaries are covered in cysts, more than when I had my last scan a few years ago. The doctor said this might happen repeatedly,” I tell my mom.
Mom’s mouth falls into a worried line. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Will they have to do surgery?”
I blow out a breath, standing slowly. “I hope not.”
My eyes fill with tears, and I hate how scared I feel at the idea of any kind of surgery, but especially a hysterectomy, or anything that might keep me from even the hope of having children someday.
Mom hugs me again, her slender arms going around me and her familiar scent enveloping me like a cozy, warm blanket. Mom and my little sister are just alike, both are gentle and nurturing. Suddenly, I miss my sister and wish she was here, too.
“Everything will be okay,” she assures me, even though we both know there’s a chance everything will not be okay.
But I do need to stop expecting the worst-case scenario about every situation. It’s weird how trauma can turn you into a cynical beast if you’re not careful.
I laugh through my tears, and it sounds as forced as it feels. “Wow, I’m a mess. I’m going to go get some rest. Do you and Nella need anything?”
Nella raises her arms up, wanting me to hold her. I caress her chubby cheek instead; not sure I can handle her weight just yet.
“No, we’re doing just fine; you go get some sleep. Amber and Remy will be back in a few hours, anyway.” She smiles. “Will you come back for dinner, though? I have to leave early in the morning.”
“Of course. I’ll be back down by then.”
We say our goodbyes, and I head out the front door and up to my apartment. Once I’m inside, I remove the clothes I changed back into and take a long, hot shower. The hot water eases the tension and soreness in my body. A bath would be even better, and I could’ve used the one in the big house. But really, the idea of a long nap and some quiet time is even more appealing.
When I get out of the shower my skin is pink and warm, and I don’t bother stopping myself from grabbing Bruce’s clothes and slipping into them again. The fabric of the sweats is soft, and the oversized fit is just what I need today. The shirt fits me like a dress, coming to rest against my thighs. I trace a hand over Bruce’s number on the shoulder and sigh dreamily like a schoolgirl.
Groaning, I slip into my bed and snuggle against the down comforter. Bruce’s shirt slides up against my face and I inhale a deep, long breath. It smells just like him and his home and makes me long to be back there, curled up on the couch while a movie plays in the background. In my fantasy my feet are in his lap, and he’s massaging them and doting over me.
I fall asleep swiftly, dreaming of the giant goaltender and how well he cared for me the night before.
When I awake, I’m surprised to see it’s already five in the evening. I promised Mom I’d come to dinner tonight, and I want to hang out with her before she heads back to Ohio.
I change into some stretchy and soft skinny jeans, a pink wrap top, and some fuzzy socks. It’s not cold outside, but I’m in the mood to be warm and comfortable. Seeing that it’s raining, I opt to go through the garage door at the bottom of my stairs instead of around the front of the house.
When I open the door that leads into an immaculate laundry and utility room, the sound of voices stops me in my tracks. Not my mom’s voice, or my brother’s and his wife’s…but Bruce’s. His deep, husky laugh sends a shiver down my spine. Suddenly, the fluffy socks don’t seem like the best choice. I’m about to turn and rush back to my apartment when Rose trots into the room, tail wagging. She yips happily when she sees me and my brother rounds the corner.
“Farrah! There you are. We’ve been waiting for you.”
I huff out a nervous laugh. “Sorry, my nap went a little long.”
Remy leans in, quieting his voice, “Are you okay? Mom filled us in; I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.” I give him a soft smile. “I’m better now.”
He nods as Rose and I follow him through the utility room and into the kitchen. I blush furiously when my gaze lands on Bruce’s large form. I don’t know why, it’s not like we slept in the same bed last night. We didn’t even kiss. We didn’t do anything. But just the knowledge that I slept in his penthouse and just took a nap in his clothing, makes my body heat up like a furnace.
Bruce always seems to take up more space than everyone else, and not just because he’s huge… It’s his aura and his personality, as well. Everything about him is just…big. I blink, forcing thoughts of him out of my head before they go too far.
As I walk further into the room, I realize everyone is here. Mel and West, Noel and Colby, Andie and Mitch, and Andie’s little brother, Noah. Noah is busy playing with Nella—it appears he brought over a small hockey set and is attempting to show her the ropes. I smile as I watch her try to flog him with the short hockey stick. Noah quickly catches it and shakes his head no .
“I wasn’t expecting a party for dinner,” I say in a hopefully light-hearted tone.
My eyes move to Bruce, who’s smiling softly at me. He must stop that. Those are the kind of looks that are going to cause speculation.
“I knew everyone got back today since we have practice tomorrow, and I texted your brother about dinner,” West explains. “He said he had hamburgers, and I already had buns…so a plan was quickly made.”
Colby drapes an arm around West’s shoulders. “I missed your buns while I was gone, baby.” He pretends like he’s going to kiss his cheek, and West shoves him away.
“Get off of me, Knight,” West rolls his eyes.
My mother walks down the stairs and joins us in the kitchen. She’s changed into jeans and a simple black top. She smiles at the group that has gathered. “I just love that my Remy and Farrah have you all! It’s like a home away from home. Such special friendships.” She sighs happily then turns to Mel and West. “Oh! And thank you for taking good care of Farrah last night. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys taking her to the hospital and letting her stay with you.”
Mel turns wide eyes in my direction. “What? You went to the hospital?” Her hands come up to her face. “Farrah, I’m so sorry for leaving you by yourself! What happened?”
I don’t know much about the human body—my expertise is baking—but if it’s possible for your blood to freeze in your veins and for your heart to momentarily stop…that’s what happens to me in this moment.
“Uhhh,” I mumble, trying to remember how to form words. “I had a ruptured cyst, it’s fine. I promise. I finished tearing down the cake tables this morning. Everything is fine.”
Literally every single person in this house is staring at me—except Nella, who’s still trying to hit Noah with a hockey stick.
I continue to stutter and search my brain for a feasible way to explain this.
“So, she wasn’t with you last night?” Mom asks Mel, slack jawed. She turns and focuses all that motherly attention on me.
Mel looks awkwardly between me and my mom. I can see in her eyes that she knows she’s missing something, and that she was supposed to have played along. She grimaces. “I’m sorry,” she whispers in my direction.
I gulp.
Remy steps forward, looking frantic with worry. “Farrah, who took you to the hospital? You didn’t call an Uber, did you? Have you seen that documentary on Netflix? They’re not safe.”
The deep clearing of a throat barely registers in my brain before Bruce starts talking. “I took her to the hospital. Everyone was out of town but me, and your mom was watching Nella. It just made sense for me to help. Then Farrah stayed in my guest room last night, since my penthouse was much closer to the hospital, and it was late.”
I glance down at my feet and close my eyes. This is not happening. I’m having a walk of shame without getting any of the sexual benefits. How is this happening to me?
“You took my sister to your penthouse for the night?” Remy’s voice echoes through the room, and I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him speak in such an icy tone.
Bruce scoffs. “It wasn’t like that. Farrah’s my friend, and I’ll always help my friends if they need me. Wouldn’t you?”
I look up to see Bruce crossing his massive arms over his broad chest as he awaits Remy’s answer.
“Well, yeah. Of course I would. But why did you guys hide it?”
My brain finally starts to work again, and I throw my hands up in the air. “Because of this entire conversation.” I groan. “I stayed the night at his place, but it was totally innocent. And even if it wasn’t, that wouldn’t be any of your business.”
The room grows so quiet you can almost hear the silence. It rings in my ears…a warning to shut up.
I make the mistake of looking at Andie, who’s smirking at me like she knows something. She thinks something happened between Bruce and I last night. As I gaze around the room, everyone is looking between Bruce and me. My speech had the opposite effect that I wanted. Now everyone thinks we hooked up.
If only these idiots knew more about ruptured cysts and PCOS, they’d know I wouldn’t have had sex last night if my own survival depended on it. Not even with the biggest, sexiest, most muscular man I’ve ever seen.
I drag my hand over my face. “Bruce and I are just friends. Nothing happened. Oh, my gosh. I cannot believe I’m having to explain myself to you all.”
“You don’t have to explain anything,” Bruce says, his tone serious and his eyebrows knitting together. He looks hurt, and I’m not sure if it’s something I said, or simply the fact his teammates think he’s lying. “She was in intense pain, and all you can worry about is me putting the moves on her? Come on, man.”
Remy’s jaw ticks at the reprimand. He’s usually the one doing the lecturing.
“I agree,” Mitch speaks up, surprising all of us. “She needed help, and he helped her. End of story.” He turns his focus on Remy. “Remy, your sister is a grown ass adult. Cool it.”
Remy glares at Mitch and opens his mouth but my mother raises her hand to her mouth and whistles loudly, the way she used to do when we were children. “All right. Everyone take a breath, and let’s refocus. The important thing here is that Farrah needed help and had someone she trusted that she could call.” Mom turns to look at Bruce. “Bruce, thank you for taking care of her.”
He tilts his chin in a nod. Slowly, the group of teammates and their wives begin assembling dinner again and quiet chatter pops up around the room. Except Remy. Amber places a hand on his shoulder and rubs the spot, obviously hoping to comfort him. But my brother looks deeply troubled by this whole situation, and I’m not sure why.
What’s his deal?
Mom grabs onto my elbow and practically marches me out of the room and up the stairs to the guest room she’s staying in, closing the door behind us.
“What were you thinking? Spending the night with a professional athlete? Farrah.” My mother shakes her head and slumps down on her bed. “You’re finally doing so well after everything with Connor. You look happy…you’re making a new life for yourself. Don’t go messing that up by getting involved with the goalie.”
My jaw drops. “I thought you loved Bruce. Don’t you bring him treats every time you come visit?”
She waves a hand. “Well, yes. He’s a wonderful boy, Farrah. But he’s an athlete who’s surrounded by women, and he’s very young and goofy. Which is highly entertaining and makes him fun to be around. I can see why you’d be drawn to him, but you and Bruce are a recipe for disaster.”
I cross my arms, my ears and face feeling hot with repressed anger. “I just want to reiterate again that nothing happened at Bruce’s place. Why is everyone forgetting that I was in so much pain I could hardly breathe?” I blow out a breath. “I’m a grown woman, and I refuse to hear anymore.”
My mom’s cheeks hollow out, like she’s biting the insides of them, trying to keep her mouth shut.
“And one more thing!” I start again, unable to stop now that I’m on a roll. “You and dad loved Connor. You thought he was the epitome of husband material. As did I. So maybe we can’t assume things about people’s character.” I pause for effect. “And Bruce is more than an immature goofball, Mom.” The words surprise me as I say them out loud, but they’re true. He’s younger than me, sure. But he’s the one in the group of teammates who’s always available to lift a helping hand. And helping others seems to bring him joy. “He’s a rascal, but he’s also kind and considerate. Did you know he provides respite care for a boy in foster care?”
Mom’s eyebrows raise slightly. “Really? I didn’t know that.” She studies me for a moment. “You’re awfully quick coming to his defense if you two are just friends.”
“Wouldn’t you defend a friend if their character was in question?”
Mom rolls her lips. “Yes, I suppose so.” She still looks unconvinced. “Maybe you should come visit your dad and me in Ohio for a long weekend, honey,” she says, changing the subject abruptly. I know she only wants me in Ohio so there’s distance between me and Bruce. “Wouldn’t it be nice to see your old friends?” Mom smiles. “How’s Megan?”
The picture from Instagram I’d forgotten about throbs through my head like an old wound that’s still festering.
“I’m not sure; we haven’t talked in a while.” I breathe evenly, trying to make the tightness in my chest ease. “But I can’t leave. Remy and Amber need me to watch Nella.” I know Amber would take off work in a heartbeat if I wanted to take some time off, but the last thing I want to do is see the friends who so easily forgot about me.
“Okay.” Mom sighs. She’s still holding my hand, and she squeezes it. “Maybe when hockey season ends,” she says before looking away. “Please guard your heart, sweetie, okay? I hated seeing you so down after everything with Connor. I don’t want that to happen again.” She gestures toward my outfit. “Look, you’re even dressing up again. I love to see you doing so well.”
I offer her a hesitant smile, unsure why she’s judging Bruce so harshly. “I am doing well, Mom. And I’ll be fine.”