Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
FARRAH
The following week I start working out. And let me tell you, people who say they love working out are big, fat liars. Or, skinny, fit liars, I guess.
I’m so sore. But everything I’ve read said the best thing you can do for PCOS is eat clean and exercise. And my brother has a fancy gym right beneath my apartment, so I don’t have any excuses.
Remy told me the soreness will ease as my body gets used to the movements. But he’s one of those insane people who enjoys working out, so can I really trust him?
However, working out during Nella’s naps is at least a nice reprieve from thinking about a certain tall, blond man who looks eerily similar to Kristoff. I overheard Remy and Amber talking a few days ago, and Remy was telling her he’s worried. He said their performance has been off all week ever since the whole Bruce and Farrah debacle.
I wanted to scream. There’s no debacle! It’s a moot point. But I also feel guilty. I don’t follow hockey as closely as my parents do, but even I know the Eagles are one of the top teams in the NHL this season and they’re expected to make it to the final round of the Stanley Cup championship…if not take the whole thing.
But they’ve lost both of their games this week so far. And I can’t help feeling like it’s all my fault. In five days, I’ve gone from thinking maybe Bruce and I could be good together…to believing that if I don’t keep my distance from him, they’ll lose the Cup and I’ll be the number one reason why.
Ridiculous, I know.
I shake my head, trying to remove these invasive thoughts from my mind. I turn up Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson on the Bluetooth speakers loud enough that I worry it might wake Nella. And instead, I try to force myself to think about anything but Bruce.
But I want to think about Bruce. I want to think about how it felt when his hands wove into my hair and tilted my head to the side. I want to think about the way his mouth tasted, and how it felt to be kissed by such a handsome and wonderful man.
I want to think about what it would be like to watch a movie with him on his couch again, but to cuddle up next to him and feel his warmth this time. I want to know how fun it would be to hang out with him and Jackson for a day and see if they can teach me how to play chess. And I want to daydream about making Bruce all the desserts he wants and having him praise me each time about how amazing my baking is.
I groan loudly, frustrated at my lack of focus today. I look down at the weightlifting workout that Andie printed off and gave me—she’s one of the crazies who loves working out—the next move is a curtsy-lunge. I grab two ten-pound weights and begin. I do two sets, and my legs are shaking already, but the pain is enough to finally distract me from everything else in my brain.
My phone—which is hooked up to the Bluetooth speakers—rings, and the sound is deafening since I have the speakers turned up so loud. I glance down at my phone and see my sister’s pretty face filling the screen, requesting to Facetime.
I slide it to answer. “Hey, Felicity. How are you?” Seeing her, even through the screen, makes me smile.
“Hey!” She gasps. “Oh my gosh, are you working out in Remy’s home gym?”
“Shocking I know.” I laugh. “I’m hoping it will give me energy and help the cysts go away.”
She wrinkles her pert little nose and leans forward. Her dark ponytail bounces with the sudden movement. “Can exercise make the cysts disappear?”
I snort an undignified laugh. “Probably not, but everything I read about PCOS tells me to eat healthy and exercise. And I’ll do anything at this point.”
She pouts. “You poor thing. I’m sorry about the drama this weekend. Mom filled me in.” she quirks her mouth to the side.
“How much did she tell you?” I shoot her an unamused stare through the phone.
My sister rolls her lips into her mouth, trying hard not to smile but failing. “I heard you spent the night with the hot goalie from the Eagles.” She cups her hand around her mouth and whispers, “but she said nothing inapropro happened which is really disappointing.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re the only one who was disappointed by that. I thought Remy was going to punch him! I’ve never seen him look so angry.”
“Remy?? Really? I can’t picture him riled up like that.” She sighs. “Everyone’s just worried about you. We don’t want to see you get hurt again. But a girl needs to have some fun. And I bet Bruce McBride is great at…fun.” She waggles her dark brows up and down.
I remind myself never to allow Felicity and Bruce in the same room. They’re way too much alike and would cause trouble.
“I don’t think I’m a one night of fun kind of person. I’d get attached right away,” I admit.
“Have you dated at all since the divorce?” she asks.
I draw my bottom lip into my mouth, considering telling her everything about me and Bruce’s history. I’ve never told a soul, and at this moment, I feel the need to finally confide in someone. “Actually…the night I signed the divorce papers, about a year and a half ago…”
“Yes?” Felicity urges, her voice excited in hopes I’m about to tell her something juicy.
“I went to a bar and had a few drinks…I met a guy there, and he was hot. Like the hottest man I’ve ever seen. We ate wings together, had a few drinks, and talked for a long time. Then he kissed me.”
My sister’s jaw drips. “Farrah! I can’t believe you never told me that!”
I laugh, remembering that night all too well.
“Was it a good kiss?”
I shake my head slowly…dreamily. “Best kiss I’ve ever had.”
Her eyes go soft, tilting down at the corners. “And you never saw him again?”
I blow out a deep breath. “Nope… I saw him again the next morning when he showed up at Remy’s house for a workout.”
Her brows draw together. “Wait…what?”
“The man from the bar was Bruce McBride.”
My sister gasps again and her arms begin to flail, she’s doing this silent scream thing that’s freaking me out. Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have told her.
“You’re kidding! You didn’t know who he was when you kissed?” she says when she can finally speak.
“Nope. The only guy on the Eagles I ever paid attention to was Remy. Bruce looked a little familiar, but I was too distracted with the chaos of my own life to think about it too much.”
“And you’ve never kissed again…ever?”
“Nope.”
“Farrah, you naughty girl. I cannot believe you! This is the best thing I’ve heard all year.”
“You can’t tell anyone! Nothing can happen with me and Bruce again. I already heard Remy talking about how off the team is this week after the drama.”
She rolls her eyes. “I won’t tell anyone. And Remy can get over it! Bag the hunk!”
“You’re out of control,” I tell her with a laugh.
“That’s what my husband keeps telling me,” she says with a smirk and a dreamy look in her eye.
“How is my favorite brother-in-law?”
Felicity claps her perfectly manicured hands together. “Oh, my goodness, he did the cutest thing the other night!”
I listen happily as my sister goes on and on about her wonderful, adoring husband. It’s nice to see her so happy, and it’s also nice that I no longer feel a pang of jealousy about it. I can sit here and feel genuinely happy for her, with no lingering negative feelings about my ex are popping up.
What a great headspace to finally be in.