Chapter 40
CHAPTER
FORTY
FARRAH
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” my mother says from where she sits curled up beside me in my bed. Felicity is on the other side, and I’m in the middle. “We came as soon as Remy called us.”
I ease into her, savoring the comfort only a mother could offer. A mother who has been with me through all my struggles while trying to conceive, and then my PCOS diagnosis, and who held me after my divorce. A mother that taught me what it is to be a mom, even though I may never be one. My heart aches at the thought. But if I ever adopt, and I really hope to—someday—I’ll know how to show any child the same love my mother has always shown me.
“Thanks, Mom. It means a lot that you’re here.” I place my hand over hers on top of the blankets and allow my tears to flow freely.
“And I’m sorry for saying what I said about Bruce before. He’s done so much for you and treated you with such care.” Mom kisses the top of my head.
“It’s okay. I doubted him, too,” I admit. “But I’m so lucky to have him.”
“I can see that,” Mom says with a smile. “In spite of everything going on, you don’t look beaten down, there’s a hope in your eyes I haven’t seen in a long time. I think we have Bruce McBride to thank for that?”
“And he’s a tall drink of water, too!” Felicity says, fanning herself. “He almost doesn’t look real.”
I shake my head but don’t disagree with her.
“I’m devastated they had to remove one of my fallopian tubes, of course. But I’m reminding myself there are good things happening too, and I want to focus on the good things. I think the entirety of this will hit me at other moments in time, you know? Like watching other people’s pregnancies and knowing I’ll never experience that.” I sigh. “Bruce reminded me of something, though.”
Mom and Felicity wait for me to continue. “He said I can feel more than one thing. I can be happy for someone and sad for myself at the same time.”
“Bruce is wise beyond his years,” Mom admits with a soft smile. “I like you two together.”
Felicity swings her arm around both of us, so we’re locked in one comforting mother-daughter hug. “I’m sorry, too, Farrah. I don’t know what to say, other than I’m so sorry and I love you.”
I sniff. “Thank you. Having you both here is enough, honestly. You don’t have to say anything.”
The three of us stay curled up in my bed like that for a long while, simply enjoying being together.
Felicity finally breaks the silence, “So, what should we order for dinner while we watch the Eagles kick butt?”
An hour later, we’re devouring Chinese takeout and Tony’s chocolate while we watch the Eagles wipe the ice with the Lightning. The game is insanely fast, and Bruce has never played better. He’s in the zone tonight and I’m so proud of him. I wish I could be there in person.
When the game ends and the Eagles win five to one, I want to jump up and down, but instead cheer sitting down, with a pillow over my stomach for extra comfort. They only need to win one more game to make it to the final round. My stomach flips with excitement at how far they’ve come and the awareness that their dreams are in sight.
Mom and Felicity chant Eagles, Eagles, Eagles and run around the room as I grin and watch them.
“This is their year to win, baby!” Felicity yells into the air.
My heart swells with hope for all the possibilities the future holds, for the first time in a long time, I feel like my dreams might come true. Maybe not in the way I pictured, but in a beautiful way, nonetheless.