Chapter 7
LAWSON
Idon’t know what the hell I’m doing here.
Okay, that’s not exactly true. I know why I’m here. But I also know that I shouldn’t be.
When Nick told me who Nova was related to, I decided right then and there that it had to be the end of things. There’s no way I can associate with Victor King’s niece, especially if she works for him. I told myself to put Nova out of my mind, to forget all about it.
Fat fucking chance.
I’ve been fighting with myself every day since then, trying to keep from contacting her.
I decided to erase her number so I wouldn’t be tempted, but couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Just like I couldn’t stop myself from driving past the tattoo parlor after picking up our keg order in Mount Casper.
And then again two days later—when I didn’t have any excuse to be in her town.
I last nine days. That’s how long I win the fight with myself to stay away, to try to forget her. I should have known it was a losing battle from the start.
There’s just something about Nova I can’t seem to walk away from.
First, I told myself it was just guilt, that I needed to apologize and then I would feel better.
But I knew that was bullshit, so I tried telling myself she wouldn’t leave my mind because we had such a short time together.
I didn’t get to do half the filthy shit I imagined doing to her.
If we hooked up again, maybe I could get her out of my system.
But I know that’s futile as I walk beside her down the street in Mount Casper.
She’s just as magnetic today as she was at the carnival, just as gorgeous.
Hell, maybe more so. Her jeans are worn with holes in the knees, but tight in all the right places, and the little white tank top she’s wearing leaves nothing to the imagination when it comes to the shape of her tits.
Tits I got to touch but still haven’t seen.
Witnessing her at work, in her element, had made her even more sexy to me. I’d been transfixed by her hands as she sketched my tattoo idea, only able to look away to stare at the intense, locked-in expression on her face.
Fucking gorgeous.
I glance over at her as we walk toward the vegan restaurant—the mere fact that I’m willing to eat rabbit food for her should tell me just how much trouble I’m in here—but she seems to be purposefully keeping her gaze straight ahead.
She’s still pissed at me and I can’t blame her. I should use her anger to my advantage and cut my losses. Why try to convince a woman who doesn’t want anything to do with me? I should take this dinner to apologize for being a dick and then walk away.
But I won’t. I know I won’t. If there’s a chance I can get more time with Nova, I’m going to take it.
I’m not sure what I was expecting a vegan restaurant would look like, but Garden Green feels like every other diner I’ve ever been to in my life. The hostess knows Nova by name though, and insists on walking us to our table.
“I take it you come here a lot?” I ask as the hostess leaves us.
Nova shrugs. “Not many vegan options in western North Carolina.”
A waiter appears, a skinny tall guy who also knows Nova’s name. I hate the way he gently touches her shoulder while they talk. I’m so annoyed I apparently don’t notice that they’re both looking at me, waiting for an answer to something.
“Sorry,” I grunt out. “What was that?”
Nova rolls her eyes. “Do you want to look at the menu, or should I order for you?”
She’s still pretty pissed at me. If I let her order, there’s a good chance she’ll get me something terrible. Then again, I don’t have high hopes for any of the food in this place.
“Order for me, please.”
She orders me something called an Impossible Burger and I cross my fingers it tastes better than I’m imagining.
After the waiter leaves—he touches her shoulder again—we lapse into silence. I’ve never been great at talking to people. It’s one of the reasons everyone assumes I’m a grumpy asshole all the time.
But talking to Nova at the fair came way easier than I’m used to. So why am I having such a hard time now?
Because you know you fucked up and you also know you shouldn’t be here and that makes you feel guilty as hell.
I clear my throat. “Have you been a vegan for a long time?”
“I became a vegetarian when I was ten.” Her voice is still a little stilted, like she hasn’t decided yet if she really wants to talk to me.
“My mom and I lived on a small cattle ranch for a few months that summer. The cows were all free range and I would spend a lot of time in the pastures with them. Before that, I had no idea cows were so intelligent.” She shrugs. “I haven’t eaten meat ever since.”
“We were very different children. I don’t exactly remember having much by way of principles when I was ten.”
A small smile breaks through her stony demeanor. “I bet you and all those brothers were a handful at that age.”
“The Barlowe boys were the scourge of the neighborhood, I promise you.” I return her smile and she jerks her gaze away, sitting up straighter in her chair. Probably reminding herself that she’s pissed at me.
“I can see more of your tattoo in that shirt,” I point out. It’s an abrupt subject change, but I want to keep her talking, get her more relaxed around me. Plus, I can’t keep my eyes off the shock of color that curves over her shoulder. “It’s really gorgeous. What’s the story there?”
She shrugs. “Maybe I just like flowers.”
“Maybe,” I agree. “But I have a hunch someone like you wouldn’t put art on your body without it meaning something.”
Her eyebrow goes up. “Someone like me?”
“Yeah. Someone purposeful. Thoughtful. Creative.”
She just stares at me before sighing. “Lawson, you don’t even know me. We spent, what forty-five minutes together at that fair?”
“And time today,” I point out. When she doesn’t say anything, I decide the best way to get her talking is to share something myself.
“The flowers caught my eye because I’m actually really into gardening.”
She snorts, then her eyes widen a little when she realizes that I’m not joking.
“Before Jonah married Ellie last year, my brothers and I all lived in a house with our younger sister, Jules. It was a nice place, on the older side but at least it was clean.” I wince without meaning to, thinking about the trailer park we lived in before our parents took off.
That place had been the opposite of clean. Or safe.
“Jules planted a shit ton of flowers in front. She had no idea what she was doing, and a bunch of them died—turned out she’d planted mostly shade annuals in an area with too much sun. Anyhow, she was pretty upset about it. And I have a hard time when my sister is upset.”
Nova leans a little closer across the table, and I have to stop myself from fist pumping at the softening of her attitude. “You guys are close?”
“Definitely. She’s the youngest—with four older brothers.
We all tried to take care of her, give her a better childhood than we had.
” Her eyebrows go up and I realize what I just revealed.
I don’t want to get into any shit about my parents, so I hurry to continue.
“That girl has us all wrapped around her finger, honestly. So when she was upset about the dead plants, I took it upon myself to learn more about it, maybe figure out what she was doing wrong.”
Nova’s eyes twinkle at me across the table. “And your love of gardening was born?”
“You’re joking, but yeah, that’s pretty much what happened.” I chuckle, rubbing a hand over the back of my neck. It’s a little embarrassing, admitting this. My brothers love to give me shit about it. But Nova is looking the most relaxed she has all evening, so I press on.
“After Jules moved in with her fiancé and Jonah married Ellie, I got my own apartment so they could have the house to themselves and Lucas. My new place is small, but there’s a little balcony.
I’ve been learning all about container gardening.
” I hold her gaze. “You should see my Snapdragons this year. Fucking spectacular.”
She bursts out a laugh, and relief rushes through me. Fuck, I wasn’t sure I would hear that sound again.
“I like gardening, too,” she admits. “Or at least, I did when I was a kid.”
“On the cattle farm?”
She shakes her head. “Way before that. We lived with my grandma when I was really young. She had a little house here in Mount Casper and every inch of her backyard was covered in flowers. I used to pretend it was a fairy garden.” She smiles softly, eyes focused over my shoulder like she’s lost in thought.
“After she died, my mom and I moved around a lot. That house was the last permanent place we ever lived.” She meets my gaze again and gives me a sheepish smile.
“I guess it was the last place I felt settled. So that’s what flowers represent to me. Home.”
My throat suddenly feels strange, like there’s a lump there I can’t clear.
Something about the idea of a little girl Nova moving around a lot, not feeling like she had a place to call home.
Being so affected by it that she would someday permanently mark her skin, maybe hoping she could keep the feeling of home with her even as she moved around.
“You can come and visit my flowers anytime,” I tell her, then groan when I realize how that sounded. “That wasn’t supposed to be a line.”
But her eyes are twinkly across the table, her lips tilted up, and I feel like I just won the damn lottery. She looks teasing, relaxed, and I did that. I got her comfortable around me again.
The waiter arrives with our food and I do my best not to make a face. I’ve never had a meatless burger before, but my hopes aren’t high.
I’m just about to take my first bite when Nova says something that has me pausing.
“I’m hoping the next place I live will have room for me to plant some flowers of my own.”
I look up to see her tucking into her burger, not meeting my eyes. “The next place you live?”
She nods. “Yeah. I’m hoping to move by the fall.”
My mouth is suddenly very dry. “To a new apartment?”
“To a new town. A new state, if I can manage it.”
Fuck. She’s leaving town? The thought makes me want to flip this table over.
“Why are you moving?”
Her expression turns a little bitter. “I need a fresh start.”
I take a bite of my burger, barely tasting it.
I don’t know what to say—dropping to my knees in the middle of the restaurant to beg seems a little overkill.
Like she said, we’ve barely spent a few hours together.
It shouldn’t feel like the damn world just tilted on its axis at the thought of her leaving.
But it does. Desperation hits me hard, making my stomach clench, and I blurt out the first thing I think of. “Do you think we could spend time together? Until you go?”
Her eyebrows go up in surprise. “You want to spend time with me?”
“Of course I do.”
“The past nine days would say differently.”
Okay, so she still hasn’t forgiven me.
“I’m sorry. Truly, Nova.” I hold her gaze, watching as she softens a bit. “I fucked up last week. That won’t happen again.”
She sighs. “It’s not like you owed me anything. It just…it felt shitty.”
I close my eyes, knowing I’m an asshole. God, what I wouldn’t give to have a do-over of that night. I’d avoid Nick, that’s for damn sure. How different would things have been if I’d never found out her connection to Victor?
I know I should be thinking about Victor now, reminding myself of the very big reason I shouldn’t have anything to do with this girl, but I can’t bring myself to care.
And if Nova is leaving town anyhow, what difference does it really make?
She’s basically giving us a built-in end date.
I can enjoy some time with her and no one will need to know.
Not Nick. Not her uncle. Not even my brothers.
That has a stab of guilt piercing my chest but I ignore it, focusing on her green eyes.
“I’m sorry I did that, Nova. If you don’t forgive me, I understand.
But fuck.” I reach across the table and take her hand.
“I know you felt that chemistry between us just as strongly as I did. I still feel it. Don’t you? ”
She nods, biting her lip.
“Don’t you think we should explore that?”
She watches me for a long moment. “I don’t want anything serious, Lawson. I need to leave by the end of the summer, and the last thing I want is to feel tied down here.”
“It doesn’t have to be anything serious.” I don’t know why the words taste so sour. It’s what I want, right? I came here because I was dying to hook up with her again, not because I wanted a girlfriend or something. And even if I did, it couldn’t be with her. Not Victor King’s niece.
“Come home with me,” I say. “Come back to my place tonight.” That desperate feeling hasn’t gone away. I feel a little crazy, like I have to get this woman into my house—into my bed—right now, before I can risk losing her.
“Nothing serious?” she presses.
My stomach clenches even as I nod in agreement. “Nothing serious.”
She studies me for a long moment and I hold my breath. It feels like everything is hinging on this moment, on her answer.
“Okay,” she finally says. “I’ll go home with you.”