Chapter 9
LAWSON
“So, you wanna tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?”
I look up from the mess of tools, grease, and spare parts long enough to glare at my older brother.
“I don’t know, Mac. Maybe it’s the fact this fucking cooler is broken—again—and we lost four fucking thousand dollars’ worth of product.” I slam my hand on the side of the worthless machine, cursing when pain shoots through my palm.
Mac doesn’t look impressed by my outburst. “It wasn’t four thousand dollars. That cooler just had beer—”
I growl in frustration “Cases of beer, Mac. Fucking four thousand dollars’ worth.”
He shrugs—fucking shrugs!—like it’s no big deal and my anger spikes. “It was more like three. And that’s what insurance is for, little brother.”
“Yeah, ’cause filing the claim and waiting for it to get approved is just what we fucking need right now.”
He leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, like the fucker doesn’t have a care in the world.
“You know fixing it tonight isn’t going to change anything.
Sawyer already called maintenance to come check it out in the morning.
” His familiar dark eyes, so similar to my own, travel over my face.
“You want to tell me what’s really bugging you? ”
I toss the wrench aside with a little too much force, hissing when it bounces off the concrete floor and goes clattering under the sink. “Like this isn’t enough to put me in a bad mood?”
He smiles grimly and reaches out a hand to heft me up from the ground.
I think about refusing, but I know that I’m not getting anywhere with the fucking cooler.
My brothers and I had to learn our share of handyman shit to get this place up and running, back when we couldn’t afford to hire professional help for anything.
But cooling systems are beyond my pay grade.
And Mac has a point—this shit is why we pay through the ass for premium insurance.
“Let’s have a drink,” he says. And then, because my brother is way too fucking decent for his own good, he squats down to start helping me clear up the tools.
“Thanks,” I mutter, feeling childish for losing my temper. “I’ll buy.”
He snorts out a laugh at my lame joke—not particularly generous to “buy” a round at a bar you both own.
Mac gets the tools and parts picked up while I go to the industrial sink to scrub the grease off my hands.
When we’re finished, we walk to the office in silence.
I collapse down into a chair across the desk while Mac pulls a bottle of the good stuff from the filing cabinet.
He hides it there because he knows the twins never do enough paperwork to find it.
“You want to talk about it?” he asks as he slides three fingers of Johnnie Walker across the desk to me. I take a sip before answering, forcing myself not to down the whole thing like I want to. Mac gets very offended by people who don’t properly appreciate good liquor.
“Talk about what?” I mutter, wiping my mouth as the burn spreads down my throat. “The cooler?”
“You know I’m not talking about the cooler.
” He fixes me with the same stare that he always used when one of us pulled some stupid shit back in our youth.
As the oldest, Mac was more of a father to me, the twins, and Julianna than our own dad had been.
I don’t know how the fuck he managed to get us all through high school and keep us out of jail.
The memory of all those times he took care of us or bailed us out sends guilt slamming into my gut.
My older brother sacrificed everything for us—for me, in particular.
And how the hell am I paying him back? By pining over a woman who’s connected to the man who has the power to ruin Mac and everything we built.
That woman is the real reason I’ve been in such a pissy mood.
Four days ago, we had the most mind-shattering sex of my entire life and I haven’t heard from her since.
She didn’t call. Didn’t return my calls.
Barely responded to texts, beyond a couple words here and there to tell me that she was “swamped.”
I know I have no right to get my panties in a twist over it. Hadn’t I done the exact same thing to her after the fair? If she’s trying to give me a taste of my own medicine for that fuck up, she’s doing a damn good job.
But I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve jacked off about a dozen times in the last four days, remembering the hours we spent in my bed.
That sex was…fuck, I don’t even have words.
I’ve never experienced something like that in my life.
And the fact that she seems completely unaffected by it is fucking my shit up.
“Seriously, Law,” Max says, leaning across the desk a little to try and catch my eye. I stubbornly refuse to meet his gaze. “You’ve been pissed off for days.”
“I’m always pissed off,” I mutter. “Isn’t that what you guys are constantly telling me?”
He chuckles. “I mean, yeah. Pissy is basically your middle name.” He studies me again with that same paternal expression. “But this feels different.” There’s a pause while I try not to make eye contact. “You okay?”
“’Course I am.” But guilt swirls through my belly, making me feel sick and wish I hadn’t accepted the whiskey—or maybe that I had drank it a hell of a lot faster.
I can’t tell Mac about Nova. If she really has done work for her uncle, then there’s a good chance Mac will know who she is.
Even if the name isn’t familiar to him, he’ll eventually tell my brothers about this conversation.
Probably Jules, too. I swear to God, my brothers are bigger gossips than a group of teenage girls.
And if my brothers know I’m stuck on some chick name Nova, and Jules knows I’m stuck on some chick named Nova, then Nick will definitely know.
And Nick can’t know.
God, what the fuck am I doing? Hooking up with Nova once I knew who her uncle was is bad enough. But spending the last four days moping about a woman I can’t even tell my brothers about? That’s fucked up.
Mac waits until I’ve taken another mouthful of whiskey before asking his question. “This about a woman?”
I practically spit the liquor out. As it is, I swallow too hurriedly and it goes down the wrong pipe, making me cough like a little bitch who can’t handle his booze. Mac shakes his head, looking amused at my watery eyes and red face. “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I mutter, still coughing. “Just someone I hooked up with. Probably won’t see her again.”
“But you want to,” he says shrewdly. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be in such a bad mood.”
I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “It doesn’t matter, Mac. You know I don’t do repeats.”
He shrugs. “There’s always an exception to the rule.”
Fuck, Nova had already been an exception—in more ways than one. Even thinking about comparing her to one of the many chicks I fucked around with made something sour fill my gut.
“She’s moving,” I say stubbornly. “So there’s not much point.”
His eyes go wide. “Fuck, you really like this girl.”
Sweat pops up on my forehead as anxiety grows. The last thing I need is for Mac to figure out who has me all twisted up. “What makes you say that?”
“Dude, if she’s moving that sounds like the perfect scenario for you,” he says, and I wince because hadn’t I had the same thought when she told me?
“If she’s not around, she won’t get attached.
You can fuck her until she goes and then be off the hook.
” He leans forward, eyes narrowing on my face.
“But it sounds like you don’t want to do that. ”
I grit my teeth, pissed at how close he’s coming to the truth. Older brothers, particularly the ones who raised you, are fucking dangerous when you’re trying to keep a secret.
“It’s shaken me up,” I admit, figuring I might as well be as honest as I can without telling him who Nova is. “It’s weird to feel like I’d want to see her again when that isn’t my usual M.O.”
He nods, drinking his whiskey. “Sounds to me like you’re overthinking.”
I bite back a laugh. Overthinking is a fucking understatement when it comes to Nova. “You should get out of your head,” he continues. “Go see her, have some fun. Maybe that will get it out of your system.” I don’t tell him that I can’t imagine Nova being out of my system any time soon.
“If you’re still hung up on her after a few weeks, maybe it means you might actually want more with her.” He snorts at the expression on my face. “There wouldn’t be anything wrong with that, little brother. Finding someone you want to be with.”
“That shit’s not for me,” I say sullenly.
He just shrugs. “I bet Nick would have said the same thing. Look at him now.” We both scowl. “Asshole,” he adds, because we can’t talk about our oldest friend falling in love with our little sister without being at least a bit pissy.
“Even on the minuscule chance that would happen,” I argue. “You heard me say she’s leaving, right? What would be the point?”
Not to mention the fact she’s related to Victor Fucking King. Shit!
He shrugs again. “If she’s leaving, then you may as well take advantage of the time you have.”
I think about Nova. The way it felt to be with her that night. The mind-blowing pleasure of being inside her. The triumph I’d felt in making her feel good. The way I felt connected to her in those hot, passion-fueled moments. Am I really ready to walk away without having her again?
Mac is grinning at me over his whiskey. “Get out of here, man. Go see your girl.”
I shake my head. “I’m here until close.”
Mac rolls his eyes. “I’m here until close.
You’re allowed to take a damn night off, Law.
” I open my mouth to argue and he fixes me with a stern glare.
“I’m serious. You never take time off. You’re here all the fucking time.
You get that there are four of us, yeah?
You don’t have to do every damn thing in this bar. ”
I shift in my seat, feeling uncomfortable. It’s not the first time one of my brothers have mentioned this to me. Hell, they’re on my ass all the time to take a break, always ragging on me for being a workaholic.
I don’t know how to explain to them that I don’t have a choice. That any time I’m away from here for longer than a few hours the guilt starts to kick in.
I owe my brothers everything. Especially Mac. The least I can do is put in my time at the bar.
“Seriously, Law,” Mac says. “I want you to get out of here. Go find your girl.” He grins. “Your grumpy face is going to scare off the customers.”
Go find your girl. The idea of seeing Nova tonight has determination blooming in my belly. Will she blow me off in person, the same way she’s been doing on the phone? I guess if she does, at least I’ll know that it’s time to move on.
Maybe then I’ll stop feeling so fucking wrecked.
“I think I will,” I say, standing. “It’s not like we’re slammed tonight anyhow.”
Mac grins as he stands too. “Good man.” He laughs. “Go get laid or something. The next time I see you I want that scowl off your face.”
I scowl at him extra hard and he laughs again as I leave the office and head off to find the girl who’s been driving me insane.