Chapter 12 #2
“The twins already did that bit,” I tell him, depositing my armful of beers on the table. I smack Nick’s back as I pass. “How’s it going, man?”
“Nice of you to join us.”
“Did you see the shit he sent me?” I asked Mac. “He threatened to tell me about him and Julianna, doing…stuff.”
Mac and Jonah both groan but Nick only grins. “Hey, it got your ass here, didn’t it?”
“I was already planning to be here, asshole.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Where were you, anyhow?” Jonah asks, bringing his armful of beer to the fridge to keep cold for later.
“Where he is all the time lately,” Mac says, chuckling. “Lawson has a girl.”
“Seriously?” Jonah practically yelps. “Are you telling me Solitude’s resident manwhore is out of commission?”
I roll my eyes, studiously avoiding Nick’s gaze as I take my seat at the table. I have no idea if he would put it together, if he even remembers seeing me with Victor’s niece all those weeks ago, but that sick feeling from earlier is starting to make a reappearance.
“It’s no big deal,” I grumble.
“Let me guess, it’s just sex,” Jonah says, laughing. I want to tell him to go fuck himself. It’s not just sex and I don’t like him saying that shit about Nova.
But I feel Nick’s gaze still on my face so I don’t say anything. And the guilt rises again.
Luckily, Sawyer joins us a few minutes later and Mac starts dealing the hand.
We talk the same shit we normally do. Nick tells us about bikes he’s been working on lately—he owns a restoration shop, which the four of us invested in after he got home from serving in the Marines.
The place has gotten more and more successful over the years and he’s making a good living—which we like to see, seeing as how he had to go and ask our sister to marry him.
Conversation moves on to Sawyer’s craft brews.
He’s entered a couple of national awards and he has a good feeling.
Despite the teasing I gave him downstairs, I wouldn’t be surprised if he wins them all.
I don’t know where his knack for brewing came from, but the kid is crazy talented.
At some point we’re going to need to level him up.
We’ve been keeping an eye on some properties that could work as full breweries but the added financial stakes are a lot of pressure.
“Well, since we’re all sharing.” Sawyer turns to me, smirking. “Where have you been keeping yourself, brother?”
“We already asked.” Jonah tosses some chips into the center. “He’s not talking, but Mac thinks it’s a girl.”
I groan. “Maybe I haven’t been around because I’m sick of all your shit, you ever think of that?”
“Aw, buddy, you know you love us.” Sawyer leans over to ruffle my hair, earning him a punch to the side.
“He must really like this chick,” Jonah says to Mac in a loud stage whisper. “Look how flustered he’s getting.”
I ignore him, focusing on the cards in front of me.
“Leave him alone,” Mac says, chuckling. “It’s probably scary, having big boy feelings for a girl for the first time.”
My brothers snort with laughter while I give Mac a resigned glare. “If you guys are going to be dicks, I might not show up for the next poker night.”
“What a loss that will be,” Jonah snarks.
“Are we playing, or what?” I make the mistake then of finally catching Nick’s eye.
I’ve been avoiding him every time my brother’s start ragging on my mystery relationship, and I immediately know that instinct is right.
His expression can only be described as suspicious.
He knows I’m seeing Victor’s niece, I think, sweat popping on my forehead. He knows that’s why I’ve been MIA.
“Jonah, how’s Lucas?” I blurt out, hoping to change the subject, to distract my old friend before he says something that will blow my life up. “He gonna do basketball again?”
Bringing up Lucas was the right move—my brother will talk for ages about his stepson, and the other boys are happy to hear it. Lucas is a kick-ass kid and the Barlowe boys have embraced their new role as uncles.
After that, conversation blessedly stays off the subject of my love life.
We rag on Mac about the last girl he took to bed, who apparently came storming downstairs through the bar half naked after he called her the wrong name mid-blowjob.
(“Cassie is really close to Casey!” he argues.
“And it was loud in the bar.”) Nick tells us about the improvements he’s starting on the house he shares with Jules.
We make some preliminary plans for the Low Bar’s involvement in the town’s fall harvest fest. It’s a typical night with my boys, and by the time we pack things in, I’m feeling glad that I came after all.
Even if it meant leaving Nova for a few hours—hopefully she waited up for me.
I’m grinning to myself as I think about our imminent reunion while walking out to my truck. The twins rode together so I leave them at Sawyer’s SUV and head across the parking lot.
That’s when I realize my mistake. My truck is parked right next to Nick’s bike, which means we cross the final yards of the pavement together. Alone.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” he asks once we reach my truck. “The girl from the fair.”
I open my mouth to deny it, but his expression stops me. He already knows and there’s no point in denying. Plus, that would be a shitty thing to do to Nova. Keeping her a secret is bad enough. Straight up lying about her to my best friend? Not gonna happen.
“Yeah, it’s her.”
He studies my face. “You look into her at all?”
I know what he’s asking—was I right? Does she really work for Victor King?
“She’s his niece,” I admit. “But she’s not involved in the business.”
His eyebrows go up and I feel a stirring of anger. “She’s not, man. We talked about it. In fact, she’s hoping to move from the area so she doesn’t have to deal with his shit.”
Nick’s face goes hard. “You think he’s hurt her? Is she in danger?”
I feel a swell of appreciation for my oldest friend. He might be concerned about me spending time with Victor’s kin, but he wouldn’t ever stand for a woman getting hurt by some asshole.
“I don’t think so. I get the impression she just wants a fresh start.”
Nick must see it in my eyes because his face falls. “Lawson, man…”
I hold up my hand. “You don’t need to worry. She’s leaving.” And fuck if those words don’t hurt like a kick in the nuts.
“But you don’t want her to,” he surmises.
I shrug. “It’s not up to me. It’s not a serious thing between us.” Bullshit, my brain argues.
He watches me for a long moment and I sigh. “Are you going to tell Mac?”
He looks startled. “No, man. I’m not going to rat you out." He’s quiet for a beat. “But I think you should tell him.”
I’m already shaking my head. “I don’t need to worry him about something that doesn’t matter.”
She does matter. She matters so fucking much.
“What if King finds out about you guys?” The question sends a rush of cold fear through me.
It’s something I’ve been trying not to think about.
Anytime I chastised myself for letting this thing with Nova go too far, I worried about Mac finding out.
About the betrayal he might feel. I never let myself think about what would happen if King knew.
“What do you think he would do?” I ask, mouth dry.
Nick shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t know the dynamic between them. Would he use her for leverage against you? He’s been trying to get back into the Low Bar for ages.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, running a hand over my face. “That can’t happen.”
If King shows up here and starts pressuring Mac, I would never forgive myself. Getting him out of our lives took years and a shit load of money.
Nick puts a hand on my shoulder, his voice as gentle as I’ve ever heard it, except for when he talks to Jules. “It took you guys a long time to get out from under his thumb,” he says. “A long time to make this place legitimate.”
It took Mac a long time to make those things happen.
Sure, we all helped. The twins and I—Nick too, and even Jules—put in countless hours of physical labor to make this place what it is.
But it was Mac who took the risk in the first place.
Mac who kept us going through the shit show that was our childhood.
Without him, we wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to be running a bar. Sawyer wouldn’t be starting a brewery. Jonah wouldn’t be married to the love of his life or learning to be a father to her kid. Jules wouldn’t be in school or engaged to one of the best guys I know.
And me…fuck, I don’t even know where I’d be without my big brother. What would all those years of getting beaten down by my dad have done to me without Mac there to protect me, to build me back up? Would I have turned to drugs and booze like they did? Fuck, would I even still be here?
“I’m not going to let anything threaten the Low Bar,” I tell Nick, my tone steady. Certain. “Not anything.”
He’s quiet for a long time, just watching me. “Okay,” he finally says. “I’ll follow your lead. If you think you can keep this thing with King’s niece from getting out of control, I believe you.”
My stomach clenches. I could do that, right? I could have this time with Nova and not let it affect my business. Not let it affect my brothers. I can enjoy every minute with her then say goodbye in a few weeks without it destroying me.
Right?
I drive back to her apartment in a daze, everything Nick said playing on a loop in my head. That fuzzy, uncertain feeling continues as I park outside her building and make my way up to her place. When I go to use my key on her door, I freeze.
Nova gave me a key. And I gave her one to my place. Our excuse was that it made sense with our weird and often opposite work hours, but I know that’s bullshit. I wanted access to her whenever I chose, and she wanted the same with me.
Whatever the hell we might say about this thing being casual, about it having an expiration date, the truth is, we’re both far past that.
She left a light on for me in the kitchen.
When I go in to turn it off, I see her notebook on the table.
She’s drawn out one of her little doodle tutorials for me, a series of isolated shapes and lines that, when put together, will create a hand holding cards.
Underneath that, she’s penned a little drawing—a figure in bed, messy waves peeking out from under a blanket.
My heart squeezes as I look at her familiar pen strokes, the funny little sleeping expression she’s drawn on the girl.
In that moment, I want nothing more than to slide into bed next to my sleepy woman and pull her into my arms. I want to hold her until morning, make love to her when the sun comes up.
I want to introduce her to my brothers, to Jules and Nick and Ellie and Lucas. I want her to be a part of my life.
And I don’t want to let her go in a few weeks.
But she is going. And there’s a very good chance that introducing her to my family would end up hurting them. What would Mac say, if he knew I had fallen in love with Victor King’s niece?
Because that’s what this is. I know that now. I’m in love with her. Probably have been since I took her up in that hot air balloon. Hell, probably since our eyes locked over the table at her tattoo booth and I felt that pull.
I still feel it—a thrumming connection to the woman sleeping down the hall. I’m in love with Nova King, and I don’t think there’s any way out of this without someone getting hurt.
I can only hope that I’ll be the one to pay the price, instead of Nova or my brothers.