1121 A.M.
ANTONIA
She wasn’t ready for this conversation. Antonia’s best-case scenario would have been to wait until they got back to the US.
That would’ve given her time to read every one of their texts and emails to each other and understand exactly when this started and what it meant to each of them.
It would hurt—oh God, would it hurt—but she’d do it anyway. Knowledge was power.
As soon as she saw Charlotte rushing down the hall to their suite—her gait unsteady where it was normally smooth, her body stooped-over where it had always been elegant—Antonia knew that Charlotte must have found out somehow.
So now, Antonia would have to think quickly and execute a plan that was still in its infancy.
She led Charlotte to the al fresco dining area and found it empty.
Walking straight behind the bar, she grabbed a bottle of gin and two crystal tumblers.
Charlotte didn’t ask if Antonia should be doing that.
They both knew she shouldn’t, and that she was going to do it anyway, helping herself to something that wasn’t hers, just like Charlotte had done.
She filled the glasses with ice, free-poured gin into them, then took a jug of clementine juice out of the fridge, adding a splash to each glass.
She slid one across the bar top to Charlotte, then took hers and walked to the far table, choosing a shaded spot for herself and leaving the one in the sun for her employee.
That’s how she needed to think of her right then. Not her husband’s mistress. Not a homewrecker. A poor, confused, young employee who had been manipulated by a middle-aged man with loose morals. That would be the only way to get through this.
She smiled at Charlotte, then had a long drink, letting the gin burn down her throat. When she set her glass on the table, it was only half full. “I take it Samir called you.”
Charlotte gave her an innocent look. “What?”
Forcing her voice to stay calm and quiet, she said, “Oh, come on, Charlotte. Please don’t insult my intelligence. It’s beneath us both. How did you find out that I know?”
“It was Samir,” Charlotte answered, her eyes filling with tears. “How did you find out what was happening?”
“Silly me, I forgot my sleeping pills.”
Charlotte’s cheeks turned red. “Oh.”
“Oh shit, you mean?” she asked, offering her a smile you’d give a good friend.
She nodded, without saying anything.
“Drink up. It’s a lot to take in.”
Charlotte did as she was told, taking several gulps of the boozy drink. “Can I just say how sorry I am?”
“Sure.”
“I’m really, really, really sorry,” Charlotte answered, her voice cracking. “I never ever wanted to hurt you. It just…”
“Happened?”
She nodded.
Antonia reached across the table and placed a hand on Charlotte’s arm.
The sensation of touching her bare skin made Antonia’s blood boil, and she had to stop herself from squeezing her wrist. “Hey, listen. I don’t blame you.
Not even a tiny bit, all right? This all falls squarely on Ted’s shoulders.
You’re a victim here too. He’s older, has more life experience, and spent his entire career learning how to manipulate people to get what he wants.
He’s got control over your career and your reputation.
He could easily ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for all these years.
He also knows exactly what to say and do to make a girl believe in fairy tales. ”
Antonia removed her hand, and Charlotte immediately lifted that arm to swipe the tears off the tops of her cheeks. “It’s not like that, Antonia. It would be easy for me to pretend it’s all his fault, but I knew what I was doing.”
“I’m sure it feels like that, but that’s only because it’s what he wants you to think.”
“It feels like that because it’s true. He never threatened me or anything.”
Sitting back in her chair, Antonia rubbed her chin as if mulling over what Charlotte was saying. In reality, she was planning her next move. “In time, I think you’ll come to understand that you were very carefully groomed.”
“Groomed? That’s…no.”
“Trust me, Char. I spent decades steeped in the study of the human mind. Now, other than your message to him last night that he needed to bring his A-game, I haven’t read anything else, so I’ve been forced to make a few educated guesses.
If you can help me piece it all together, I’ll be able to determine how screwed we both are. ”
“I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this, especially not without Ted here.”
Smiling patiently, Antonia said, “Please believe me when I tell you having him in this conversation would be anything but helpful. He’d be desperately trying to say whatever he had to in order to not go down for this.
” She carried on, knowing just how much pressure to apply.
“Did the affair start shortly after you and Ian broke up?”
She shook her head. “It was right after I found out he was getting married.”
“Hmph. Right around Valentine’s Day? When I got mad at you for double-booking us for television appearances?”
Charlotte bit her lip. “Yup.”
Antonia sighed. “So that’s why you haven’t been able to make eye-contact with me. This whole time I thought it was because I snapped at you.”
Shaking her head, Charlotte sniffed. “No. I mean, I was pissed off at the time, but I’d never stay angry about something like that for so long.
I guess I just…” Her voice went up two octaves.
“Used that as a way to justify what I was doing. I’ve been trying to find ways to make you into the villain in all of this.
Telling myself you don’t care about me, and that you’re demanding and impossible. ”
“I’m sure my husband has been feeding you those ideas,” Antonia answered, somehow managing to sound compassionate. She was a therapist in a cozy office, not a scorned wife on a yacht during a heatwave.
Beads of sweat formed on Charlotte’s forehead. “Maybe a little, I guess. We rarely talk about you, to be honest.”
The admission was another punch to her gut, and she knew it was far from the last one she would take. “Of course. That wouldn’t make for a fun conversation, would it?” she said. “I’m curious what you do talk about. The future?”
“I don’t know…once in a while, maybe.”
Antonia tilted her head, her gut churning at the thought of her husband of so many years standing at an altar with someone else. She pushed that image out of her mind. “But you’re not in love with him, are you?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think I was, but…”
“You’re not,” Antonia told her, with a little shrug of her right shoulder.
Charlotte’s eyes narrowed. “And how would you know?”
Because I need you not to be. “Because you went out with Oliver. That doesn’t seem like something a woman in love would do.”
“I was…” She paused and shook her head. “I don’t know, restless, I guess. I knew this would be a hard week, having a front-row seat to all the pretending.”
That was rich. The other woman feeling sorry for herself because she had to see her lover with his wife. Stay calm and think. There’s no second chance to have this conversation. “So you do think you’re in love with him?”
“Honestly, Antonia, I haven’t let myself think about it. I work fourteen-hours-a-day. I don’t have time to fall in love.”
Antonia’s heart pounded and she scrunched up her toes, furious that Charlotte was blaming her poor morals on her heavy workload. “Okay, well, it’s vital that I understand where your mind is at with this whole thing. Do you think you would want a life with him?”
“Ummm…I never considered that. I just assumed it would end at some point and he’d stay with you because of the show and the kids and everything.”
“That makes sense.” Antonia took another sip.
“You’ll forgive me for having so many questions.
I’m trying to piece it all together in that way women do when their husbands betray them.
I was up all night, wracking my brain for what I could have done to cause him to seek intimacy elsewhere.
What was it I was doing that made him feel unsafe to tell me he was so unhappy?
All those questions…so many questions. I know I shouldn’t ask, but if you could see it in your heart to help me figure it out, I think I’d sleep better tonight. ”
“Uh…I…” Charlotte shut her mouth and looked out at the water, then back to Antonia. “I don’t know if I can help.”
“Sure, you can. We can help each other, Charlotte. We have to. He’s put us both in the worst position possible, especially right now, when we’re about to negotiate another contract.
We’re exposed. All three of us, especially you, because he didn’t think to conduct all your communications on personal devices.
The network owns every message, every heart and eggplant emoji.
” She leaned in. “Travis Bishop has access to every personal, sordid detail. And I’m not sure if you noticed, but he’s not exactly the type of man you want to know your secrets. Especially when he owns you.”
Charlotte stared at her long enough for Antonia to start to worry that she was about to get up and go running to Ted for help.
But she didn’t. She sat forward and lowered her voice.
“I’m having trouble believing you, Antonia.
I mean…you got Samir to download everything for a reason. You must be planning to go after us.”
“I won’t lie: for a few hours in the middle of the night, while he was in bed with you, I wanted that more than anything I’ve ever wanted.
I had it all planned out. I’d file for divorce, then write a scathing article about it and sell it to The New Yorker.
But then, when the sun came up, it hit me.
Hurting either of you would ruin my career and make me an absolute laughingstock.
My reputation would never recover. I’d never work again.
” She felt the rage inside starting to build and forced it out with a single sigh.
“I realized I have to be very careful. I had Samir create a backup of everything as insurance while I figure out how to salvage what I can.” She took another sip, then stared out to the water for a second.
“The truth is, Ted’s been in control of everything from the start.
I never wanted any of this. I wanted to treat patients and have a quiet life with our family.
Wealthy, private, easy. But Ted needed more.
He was always so driven. And he wanted to help people on a mass scale.
First, it was just going to be one book and we’d see what happened.
And then…it all just took off and I kept saying yes when I meant no.
” She paused and licked her lips, realizing how dry they suddenly felt.
“And I wonder if that’s what happened with you.
All these months, maybe you kept saying yes when you meant no. ”
“Oh my God, he didn’t rape me, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Charlotte whispered, her face angry.
“No, of course not. But I know firsthand how convincing he can be. The promise of him—a strong, wise, capable, sensitive man, who absolutely knows how to please a woman.” Charlotte flinched and Antonia’s lips curved up involuntarily.
Part of her was enjoying this. Loving the discomfort on Charlotte’s face.
“Oh, come on, how often do you get a chance to compare notes? Let’s face it—the man is a total rock star in bed.
Even when I’m furious with him, I find myself saying yes. ”
Charlotte’s jaw dropped and she blinked quickly.
“Did he tell you we stopped having sex?” she asked, running her fingers down her glass that was now wet with condensation. It was cool to her hot skin. “Of course he would have told you that. They all do.”
Charlotte turned away, resting her chin on her hand. “Yeah, I imagine they do.”
And that was the moment that Antonia knew her plan would work.
She could convince Charlotte to get onside.
“The truth is, Ted isn’t thinking about your future.
Not at all. If he was, he wouldn’t have left you so exposed.
Right now, you could be made to look like the homewrecker—some sort of evil young thing who gets off on screwing her boss when his wife is right there in the other room. ”
“That’s not what it was about!”
“Then what was it about, Charlotte? Tell me everything, from the first time you knew what would happen until now. If I know, I can save you from the fallout.”