403 A.M.
MERCY
Mercy stood at the aft of the yacht on the main deck in her nightie and matching silk robe, having gotten up to wander around.
She hadn’t gone to sleep yet and she could see in the horizon that the sun would soon be up.
The evening’s events had been rolling through her mind.
She had to leave him. For the sake of the children.
But she couldn’t. Also, for the sake of the children.
A sound from the lower deck interrupted her thoughts.
Tipping her upper body over the railing, she saw a figure in the darkness climbing over the railing to the swimming platform.
Squinting her eyes, she realized it was Winslow.
He stood on the edge in his pajamas, and suddenly she knew what was about to happen.
Running, she made it to the spiral staircase, then rushed down as quickly as her feet would carry her before sprinting to him. As she drew near, she realized he was tying a weight from the gym around his waist with a resistance band.
Stopping herself, she walked quietly toward him and spoke gently. “Winslow, please don’t do this. I’ve already had to watch one man die. Please don’t make me do it again.”
He froze on the spot. Without turning, he said, “Go back to bed then. You can pretend this was all a dream.”
She climbed over the railing and moved slowly to him until she could reach out and touch his arm. “I’m afraid that won’t work unless you’re at breakfast in the morning.”
“I won’t be.” He let out a sigh and turned to face her. “Please, Mercy. Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want Miguel to know.”
“Of course he’ll know.”
“He’ll think I fell,” he answered. “Let’s let him believe that, all right?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not going to do that to him. He’ll wait. He’ll wonder. He’ll look for you everywhere he goes for the rest of his life—restaurants and in passing cars and shop windows.”
A flash of Miguel peering at him for the first time through the store window in Barcelona ripped through Winslow’s brain and he broke down, sobbing and collapsing onto the deck.
Mercy crouched and wrapped her arms around him, shushing him.
“It’ll be okay. Whatever it is, you two can make it through. ”
He let out a loud sob. “No, we won’t.”
“This isn’t because he was lying to you about the show, is it?”
Winslow’s head snapped back. “No. Of course not. It’s so much worse.”
“What? Did you cheat on him?”
Shaking his head, he said, “I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Fine. You don’t have to, but you absolutely cannot kill yourself today,” she answered. “Not from my yacht. Not with my favorite weights and resistance band.”
He chuckled through his tears and Mercy smiled at him. “I’d be heartbroken. They’re part of a set.”
His laughter turned to a strangled cry, and he hugged her back, clinging to her. “I’m in so much trouble. The kind you can’t get out of.”
“There’s no such thing.”
It all came tumbling out of his mouth in a rush of words.
“In this case, there is. I’m…sick. My mind has been failing me, and I know it’s only going to get worse.
And I’ve made a horrible mistake and if I go home, it’ll be to watch my entire life’s work go up in flames.
It’ll be splashed all over the headlines.
My family’s name will be tarnished. Miguel will be so embarrassed.
It’ll ruin him too, Mercy. Advertisers won’t want anything to do with his show.
Even if they do, he’s going to quit to take care of me.
That is, if I’m not in prison. Oh God, I can’t die in prison.
I just can’t. My poor mother. It’ll kill her. ”
Winslow sniffled, then they let go of each other.
She plunked herself down onto the deck beside him.
“I know everything looks impossible right now. I do. What you’re going through sounds…
incredibly hard. But I do know that as a mother, I would want to be there to help my child through anything, no matter what, no matter how old I was.
And so will Miguel. He’d rather go through hell with you than have to face the rest of his days alone.
I’ve seen how Miguel looks at you. That’s unconditional love.
It’s…so rare.” Her voice wobbled, and she felt ashamed to allow a flash of self-pity for not having it herself.
“So special. And that kind of love can get you through anything.”
“That’s exactly why I have to make my exit now. Because he will stay by my side. And it’ll ruin him. It’ll snuff out the light inside him, and I can’t have that.”
“Trust me, Winslow, doing this will snuff out the light in him. Starting the moment he wakes up in a few hours. And it’ll never come back.”
He shook his head. “He’ll move on. He’ll meet someone else.”
“He’ll know what you did. He’s not stupid.”
Winslow turned his head away from her, but she knew he had tears streaming down his face.
She went on. “He’ll be angry with you. And confused.
And he’ll never stop feeling guilty. Wondering what he could have done to save you.
If only he hadn’t signed on for the show.
If only he hadn’t lied. If only he had woken up.
He should’ve woken up. He should’ve known you were in trouble.
He’ll beat himself up for the rest of his life. ”
He let out several jagged sobs, nodding. When he turned back, he said, “But what do I do? Either way, his life will be ruined.”
“I’m not sure, but I’d say the first step is to tell him the truth. About…whatever happened at work. And that you’re sick. He deserves to know. Trust him enough to handle the truth. He’s not a child.”
His face crumpled and he shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t do it. Please, just go back to bed. Please. I’m begging you.”
“I can’t do that, Winslow.”
“Well, fuck you then,” he said, shocking them both.
“Well, fuck you right back,” she answered.
They stared at each other for a second, then they both started to laugh, as much from the tension of the moment as what they’d just said to each other. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“I did.” She placed her hand on his knee and gave him a small smile.
Rubbing his knee, she said, “I don’t know if this will help you at all, but I had a night like this too.
I was certain my life as I knew it was over and I was going to spend the rest of my days in prison,” she told him, her heart pounding to admit even this much.
“But then, a miracle happened. Or at least, I thought it was. Now I’m not so sure. ”
Winslow’s voice was soft. “Is this about Talbot Sterling?”
She sighed out the word ‘yeah.’ “It doesn’t matter right now. I’m trying to save you.”
He stared at her. “Tell me what happened.”
“Will it help you?”
His bottom lip quivered. “I think it might. Then we’ll both know each other’s darkest secrets.”
Tears filled her eyes and she felt a swell of emotion in her chest. She had never told anyone, not even Faith, the truth about that night.
Only Travis knew. And he had erased it all.
Scrubbed the security tapes of footage of her arriving and leaving the lot.
Discredited the security guard who went to the tabloids to say she had been there.
And now, he’d made it clear that he would use it against her if he had to.
She was trapped. She wasn’t his partner.
She was an indentured servant with no autonomy and no way out.
She looked at Winslow, knowing somehow that if she told someone else, it would free her.