Chapter 51 Silas #3
“No, he’s the Reaper,” Aria corrects. “He’s the best enforcer the Carter organization has. He’s the one everyone fears. And he’s going to work for me now. Build my organization instead of yours.”
“He’ll never do that,” Charles says.
“Won’t he?” Aria looks down at me, at the blood pooling around my leg, at Parker’s hands still pressed to the wound. “He’ll do whatever I tell him to if it means Parker and those boys stay safe. If it means you all keep your empire. Isn’t that right, Silas?”
She knows me too well. Knows exactly what I’ll sacrifice. What I’ve always been willing to sacrifice.
“No,” Parker says, reading my expression. “No, don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare agree to this.”
“Parker,” I start.
“I said no!” She’s crying now, full-on sobbing while still keeping pressure on my leg. “You’re not doing this. You’re not trading yourself. I won’t let you.”
“He’s a person, remember, Parker. He gets to make his own choices,” Aria says.
The room is spinning. Blood loss making everything feel distant, unreal.
I look at Parker. At her sea-glass eyes filled with tears and fury and desperation.
At Charles, my boss, my friend, the man I’ve served for years.
At Jace and Cal, my brothers in everything but blood.
At the life I thought I could have. The family I thought I could be part of.
“Silas,” Cal says quietly. “Don’t.”
“You have thirty seconds,” Aria says. “Then I trigger it anyway and we all lose.”
Parker’s hands tighten on my leg. On the gun she’s still holding on Aria.
In my head, that familiar voice starts talking. The one that’s been there since I was seven. Since my parents put me in the pit against a neighbor kid for more liquor money. Since they decided I was too broken to be anything but a weapon.
This is what you’re good for. This is all you’ve ever been good for.
I look at Parker. At her sea-glass eyes meeting mine. At the trust there despite everything. At the woman who looked at all my damage and loved me anyway.
At the family I thought I could have. The boys I love even though they’re not mine biologically. The brothers who’ve stood with me for twenty years.
And I know what I have to do.
The only thing I’m actually good at.
Being expendable.
“Firefly,” I say.
“No.”
“You have to let me go.”
“No!” She’s looking at me now, her expression fierce despite the tears.
Fuck. I hate her tears.
“Aria,” Jace says, his voice going soft, dangerous. “You trigger that switch, you die here. Right now. All of us might die but you definitely do. Is that what you want?”
“What I want is recognition,” Aria says, and there’s real emotion in her voice now.
Raw and painful. “What I want is to matter. To be seen as more than Dominic’s trophy wife.
More than the pretty blonde everyone dismisses.
I deserve it! Power. Respect. And I want Silas because he’s the only one who ever looked at me like I was worth something. ”
“I looked at you like a fleshlite,” I say, my voice rough. “Nothing more.”
“Stop lying. You just don’t know what love is supposed to be because of Parker,” Aria says.
I know what love is because of Parker. It’s brutal and mind numbing.
It debilitates you, chains you in place and forces you to embrace your darkness.
It allows you to believe with renewed strength that you don’t need to prove yourself, don’t need to be someone other than who you are for anyone but you.
It chases out all the demons and all the sunshine because she’s the warmth that sparks the dark coal where my heart should be until I’m burning.
All my sins turn to ash and disintegrate into nothing at the sound of her laugh.
All the ghosts of those I’ve killed glide toward the golden glow of the clouds when she’s in my arms.
“I’ll do it,” I say.
Parker turns to me, dropping the gun before falling on top of me, arms around my neck clinging to me. “No, no, don’t do this.”
If discarding your gun during life or death situations isn’t a sign of how stupid love can be, I don’t know what is. Because that’s another thing Parker taught me about love. It makes us stupid. Reckless. Self-preservation be damned.
My arms feel heavy, but I hold her against me, breathing in her scent as I bury my face in her neck. “I love you, firefly,” I say, pressing a lingering kiss to her skin there.
“Please, please, don’t...”
Fucking hell. I unwrap myself from her, pushing against her to try to help her off of me, but either I’m dying or she’s stronger than I thought.
I look at Jace, feeling myself harden, my heart trampled by a rock avalanche, the warmth of her light chilling as my walls go up inside me. “Get her off me, Jace,” I growl.
Jace doesn’t move for a moment. Just stares at me with something that might be understanding or might be fury. Hard to tell with the blood loss.
“Now,” I say, putting steel in my voice even though it takes everything I have left.
Jace moves. Reaches for Parker, his hands gentle even as his grip is firm. “Parker, come on.”
“No!” Parker fights him, clinging harder to me. “No, I’m not leaving him. I’m not doing this again.”
Cal moves to help. Between him and Jace, they start pulling Parker off me, but she’s fighting like a wildcat. All teeth and fury and desperation.
“Get off him,” Jace says, his voice strained. “Parker, you’re hurting him.”
“I don’t care!” She’s sobbing now, full body shaking. “I don’t care, he’s not doing this, he’s not leaving me.”
Charles moves in, adding his strength to theirs. Three men struggling to pull one woman off me because she’s fighting with everything she has.
“Sis,” Charles says, low enough that only she can hear but I catch it anyway. “If you don’t get off him, he’s going to die. He’s losing too much blood. You have to let him go, sis.”
The words hit her like a slap. She goes still for just a second. Just long enough for them to pull her away.
Jace lifts her, holds her bridal style against his chest as she dissolves completely. Screaming. Fighting. Breaking apart in a way I’ve never seen her break before.
“Silas!” She’s reaching for me, her hands covered in my blood. “Silas, please, please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. The boys need you. I need you. Please.”
I look at them. At Parker sobbing in Jace’s arms. At Cal’s expression, caught between fury and grief. At Charles, his jaw tight with the kind of control that means he’s barely holding it together.
At my family.
At everything I’m giving up.
Then I look at Aria. At her finger still hovering over that keyboard. At the power she’s holding over all of us.
Without looking back at them, I say one word.
“Go.”
“Silas, no!” Parker screams.
“Get her out of here,” I snap. “All of you. Now.”
Jace carries Parker toward the door, her screams echoing through the building. Cal and Charles follow, weapons still raised, backing out like they expect an ambush.
The door closes behind them.
And I’m alone with Aria.
She’s smiling. Reaches up to a speaker system I didn’t notice before. Presses a button.
“Medical team to interrogation room. Now.”
Interrogation room. That’s what she’s calling this place.
A door opens behind her. One I didn’t see, hidden in the wall paneling. A whole fucking secret passage we never spotted.
Three people in tactical medical gear rush through. Gurney, medical supplies, moving with professional efficiency.
We really underestimated this crazy bitch.
They’re on me immediately. Cutting away my pants, examining the wound, starting an IV line. One of them is packing the bullet hole with gauze while another checks my vitals.
“Blood pressure’s dropping,” one says. “We need to move him now.”
They lift me onto the gurney, strapping me down. My vision is tunneling, everything going grey at the edges.
As they wheel me past Aria, I see her expression.
She’s smiling. Not triumphant. Not cruel.
Almost... adoring.
Like she just won something precious.
It pisses me off more than anything else that’s happened today. More than the bullet in my leg. More than the blood loss. More than trading myself for my family’s safety.
Because all I can see is how broken she made Parker. How Parker’s screams are still echoing in my head even though I can’t hear them anymore. How she sobbed against Jace’s chest while they carried her away from me.
That sound. Parker’s crying. Parker’s screaming. Parker breaking apart because of what Aria forced me to do.
That’s what will haunt me.
Not the pain. Not the blood. Not whatever Aria plans to do with me.
The sound of Parker crying as they took her away.
The medics wheel me through the secret passage. The door closes behind us, cutting off the light from the interrogation room.
And I’m swallowed by darkness.