Chapter 10
Jennie
When Finn calls me to dinner, I get out of the bedroom reluctantly.
I’m still mad at him and at the same time hate that he’s right.
Having spent almost the whole day on the bed reading feels good.
Living by myself has taken a toll on me, and moving in with my sister is even more out of the question than staying here.
Which is saying a lot about my relationship with my sister.
I don’t have anyone else. For years, Finn has been my go-to person. And now that he has become my go-from person, there is nobody else. Granted, I’m sure Grace would let me have their spare room, but she is Finn’s sister-in-law. That wouldn’t work.
As I dig into the casserole, I suddenly know. “Lauren!”
My loud exclamation startles Finn, and he almost drops his fork. “Lauren Carter, the sheriff’s wife? What about her?”
“I could move in with her. I bet she’d take me in.”
“Sure, why wouldn’t she?” Finn arranges the food on his plate by dragging his fork slowly through it. Without looking up, he asks, “Is it all that bad, staying with me?”
“You don’t really want me here.”
“I do. And I love you. Ninety.”
“Are you aware that you’ve never told me that?”
“I’m literally counting.”
I close my eyes, sighing deeply. I hope Finn will think this is to not blow a gasket, but really I have to fight back the tears. “You did not tell me so before you knew I’m pregnant.”
“I didn’t know whether you wanted to hear it.”
“I for sure don’t want to hear it now.”
A car’s tires scrunch the gravel in the driveway, and Finn puts down his utensils. “Sorry, that’ll be Neil.”
I don’t know whether to be frustrated that we can’t have this talk or to be glad it’s over. It’s not like it would lead anywhere.
Neil comes in, with a folder in his hand.
He’s a big guy, as in real big. I only have seen him eat salads and tiny sandwiches that Robin makes especially for him.
Right now, he’s wearing a tracksuit. I’ve seen him walking briskly, sometimes with the help of poles, at other times carrying weights.
I admire his determination to regain his health.
He comes over and shakes my hand. “Nice to finally meet you outside of the coffee shop. It really feels like I know you already—Finn has talked about you non-stop in rehab.”
I huff and glare at Finn. “Seriously? How much do you pay him?”
Neil looks confused. Finn runs his hand over his hair again and grunts. “I proposed after she told me we’re having a baby.”
“A baby? How…? Ooh, amnesia.” Neil pieces it together quickly. “Congratulations.”
Finn grunts and takes the folder from Neil. He lays several documents on the kitchen counter and skims over them, pen in hand.
“I’m glad,” Neil says, “he finally had the balls to let you know how he feels.” He leans over and whispers into my ear, “Make him show you his knee.”
What am I supposed to do with that? Like his knee could be proof of his feelings for me? That doesn’t work like that.
I’m at a loss for words, so I don’t even try. I watch as the men quickly go over the documents and Finn signs them. When Neil leaves, I meekly lift my hand to wave. His words bother me, and I still try to make sense of them.
I take the dishes and mean to wash up, but Finn demands that I rest. I stick out my tongue at him and get a tea towel.
We do the dishes in uncomfortable silence.
Once we’re done, Finn puts his jacket on with a defeated look on his face that touches me deeply.
He’s suffering, that’s for sure. But what is it that I am keeping from him—the chance to do the right thing or true love?
“I’ll take her for a walk. Sleep well.” He slaps against his thigh and Lilly starts wagging her tail. “Jennie,” Finn calls with his hand already on the doorknob. “I love you. Eighty-nine.”