Chapter 12
Finn
Between getting the brewery going and remodeling my cabin, I am wiped. So it’s another movie night, the fourth in a row. I let Jennie pick a movie because I fear I might fall asleep anyway. And right, some time later I wake up with my head in her lap.
That did not go as planned. I stifle a yawn and apologize. “Sorry for being this boring.”
She smiles at me. And just like that, all my worries evaporate. Her smile has that effect on me, every single time.
“I love you,” I tell her. “Fifty-seven.”
I bury my face in her hair. She wears it open today, and long, auburn locks fall down her back.
Resisting her becomes harder by the day. I caress her face and say, “Let’s get some sleep, shall we?”
Instead of an answer, Jennie yawns.
I get up, and pull her up, too.
She stiffens. “I haven’t talked to Dr. Weller about sex,” she admits.
“So I am allowed to sleep in the bed too?” That would be heaven.
“Would you?”
“For the rest of my life I don’t want to sleep anywhere but in your bed.”
Jennie giggles. “You love me, fifty-six?”
“Yup.” I plant a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Ask Dr. Weller when you’re there the next time.” I kiss her temple. “We’re not in a hurry. But until then I want lots and lots of cuddles.”
She laughs. “That we could do.”
“We will.”
She looks at me and bites her lip. There is a mischievous glint in her eyes when she starts unbuttoning my shirt. “What if I want naked cuddles?”
“Naked cuddles it is, milady.” I make short work of dropping my shirt to the floor and relish watching Jennie’s eyes widen when she notices my new tattoo. I’ve had that one made while in rehab, too. It covers my entire chest and is hard to miss. “Carpe diem,” she reads.
“Seize the day,” I translate. It’s not like I know any Latin, I just know what my tattoo means. “I’ve wasted too much time. This is a reminder not to needlessly delay things. To do what matters most, in the now.”
Jennie runs her hand across it and promises to never stop exploring it.
That little gesture makes my blood boil.
Not having sex is going to hurt. But cuddles—naked ones at that—will make her feel cherished.
And that is the most important thing of them all.
I lift Jennie up and carry her to the bedroom like a bride over the threshold.
She wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder.
We lie on the bed and look into each other’s eyes. This moment could last forever, and I’d never get bored looking at Jennie.
My hands slowly explore her body. “Would you mind if I undressed you?”
In response, she starts unbuttoning her blouse. I swat her hands away. “Nuh-uh, dragon, from now on that is my job.” I uncover a white cotton bra that is just the tiniest bit see-through.
“Dragon? That’s not a nice thing to call me.”
“Nah, you’re my dragon, and I’m your ass.”
Jennie laughs out loud. “You mean you’ve got layers?”
“Hmm-mm. You can uncover them one by one.”
“Get me out of this layer,” she demands and tugs at the strap of her bra. I comply.
Her body is endless planes of rolling hills and I run my hands across them in a gentle exploration. Have I done this before? I can’t believe I forgot all about this.
Jennie relaxes noticeably, and soon she covers her mouth with her hand and stifles a yawn. She is always so tired. Last night she slept for almost twelve hours, and still she cannot make it through the day without a nap.
“You can fall asleep, I’ll hold you.”
“This is embarrassing.”
“No, it isn’t. You need all your energy for the human you are growing.
Perfectly normal.” I’ve asked Ma and Grace, and they assured me that in fact permanent tiredness can be a thing during pregnancy.
I hold Jennie flush to my body and gently caress her, when suddenly there is a strange sensation in my tummy.
Like very big butterflies. Or a massive flatulence building up.
Or—I still and wait for it again. There it is!
And it’s not in my belly, it’s in Jennie’s. I gasp and look at her. “Is that?”
She nods. “Whenever I get to rest, it’s party time for mini-me.”
The baby moves again, and I press my cheek to Jennie’s belly, only to be punched in the face.
“Hey there!” is all I can say. I’d love to say something funny to make Jennie laugh.
Or something sweet as my first words to my child, but “Hey there” will have to suffice.
I kiss Jennie’s belly and scoot up again to hold her.
The occasional kick notwithstanding, Jennie is out in seconds flat.
I can’t fall asleep, torn between keeping her safe and the overwhelming feeling of awe for this new life we created.