Chapter 8 Caden
EIGHT
CADEN
The rest of the night went by in a blur. Sabrina and I had goofed off on the dance floor, both of us laughing so hard at each other, we’d drawn weird looks from the other guests.
That was always us. Fun and laughs and good times until my pathetic heart yearned for more.
While I’d managed to stay in denial once we got back in touch, tonight, we would turn a corner. I already felt like things were different, and as the night drew toward a close, that hotel room almost glaring at us from upstairs, everything was about to change.
I hoped against hope that change wouldn’t mean the end.
“You two are cute,” Sabrina’s aunt Josephine said when we sat down for dessert. “I used to love to dance when I was that young.”
“Young?” Sabrina laughed. “I don’t know about that, but we have fun together like fools,” she said, flashing me a sneaky grin. “So I guess we look young.”
“You never smiled like that before,” her aunt said, pointing a bony finger at the dance floor. “When you were married, you’d just sit with us at weddings.”
“Austin didn’t like to dance. Some guys don’t.” She propped her elbow onto the table and rested her chin on her hand. “In fact, most guys don’t. Caden is special.”
Her smile was wide and beautiful as she rubbed my back. I wished I could tell her just how special she was, but I wouldn’t know where to begin.
“I can see that,” Sabrina’s mother said as she took a seat next to her. “In fact, I was sure you’d end up together back in high school.”
“We took the long way,” I teased, squeezing Sabrina’s shoulder and wishing we really were where we’d pretended to be tonight.
“That we did. See?” Sabrina patted her mother’s hand. “Nothing to worry about.”
Her mother’s smile faded as she leaned back.
“I wasn’t worried if you were with someone or not. I was alone for many years before I met your stepfather. I worried that Austin hurt you too much to try to love someone else. So tonight, I’m thrilled that I was wrong.”
Sabrina reached over to grab my hand, her watery smile making me feel like shit.
After the cake was cut, the DJ invited everyone onto the dance floor for a slow dance. I recognized the opening chords of U2’s “All I Want is You.”
“Come on,” I said, standing up and holding out my hand to Sabrina. “I think this is the end, right? Almost last dance?”
“Maybe,” she said, surveying the dance floor as she took my hand. “Went by faster than I thought.”
“Yes, it did,” I said, taking the opportunity to pull Sabrina flush to my body.
We swayed in comfortable silence, her head resting on my shoulder as she looped her arms around my neck as if we really were a couple that had danced like this a million times. She fit in my arms like she always had, but now I either had to tell the truth or let her go.
Her grip tightened around my neck as she brought us closer, barely leaving us enough room to move. I clutched her right back, running my nose along the delicate slope of her neck as I let my hand drift down her back, stopping right above the curve of her beautiful ass.
My hand cramped with the need to go lower, to both explore her and get reacquainted. Which I wouldn’t let it do on a dance floor with her family watching from all points of the room.
Or maybe ever.
“Thank you again for being here tonight,” she said, lifting her head off my shoulder.
It was dark on the dance floor other than the shifting lights from the DJ, but my eyes locked on hers.
I saw more than just gratitude in her gaze.
I spied the same lust and longing I’d been fighting against since we’d arrived tonight—and, really, most of my life.
Or maybe that was just my own yearning reflected at me.
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad I came. But I don’t think you needed me. Your family loves you and doesn’t judge. Even your sister.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “I’m still glad you’re here.” She kissed my cheek and dropped her head back on my shoulder.
I shut my eyes, soaking in the song and the moment. All I’d wanted was her when we were young. I just hadn’t realized it until later, and it had scared the shit out of me.
I wanted her now too, but it scared me in a different way.
Since we’d reconnected, my days were brighter and easier.
She’d given me something to look forward to, just like in school when my day hadn’t been complete without seeing her, regardless of what side of friends with benefits we’d happened to be on.
I didn’t have the time or the luxury to be sad and show it. My best friend had lost his baby sister just when I’d begun to slowly lose my mother. But for his sake and my family’s sake, I’d had to be the guy with a joke and a smile.
I was that guy for Sabrina too, but it came a hell of a lot easier. Instead of an act, it felt like relief. Like the heavy mask I had to wear all the time had cracked enough for me to breathe.
Getting a taste of what it would be like to really be together had been a cruel tease. It was almost easy to forget since we were still in the throes of pretend. I could take a kiss if I wanted, hold her as close as I felt like, and stare at her long enough to take in all that beauty.
“Don’t forget about the bouquet toss.”
Sabrina’s aunt poked us as we danced.
“You qualify again!”
Sabrina cringed and shook her head.
“Nope. Marriage isn’t for me again. Ever. Let these girls have at it.”
I forced out a nervous laugh, despite the unexpected gut punch. Why did her answer knock the wind out of me? I understood her reasons, as I had them too, but hearing her say she never wanted to get married again unnerved me in a way I couldn’t explain.
Or could, but there was only so much I could face in one evening.
“Ready to call it a night?” she asked after the last dance.
“Up to you,” I said, that bed haunting my thoughts once again, knowing that I’d have to climb in next to Sabrina and keep my desires and hands to myself.
I hadn’t spoken to all of Sabrina’s family tonight, but every single relative came up to us once we decided to leave. After we said good night to her niece, every aunt, uncle, and old neighbor stopped us on the way out.
I didn’t mind the stalling, but my impatience to get to the room and deal with whatever I needed to gnawed at me.
Once we finally made it out and headed to the hotel elevators, ten people came in behind us, pushing the button for every fucking floor.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll change first,” Sabrina said once we got inside.
Was I the only one in fear of this bed tonight? She was acting like this was just a sleepover between friends, and maybe that’s all it would be. I seemed to be the only one in this room with a fucked-up head.
“Sure, go ahead.”
After she disappeared into the bathroom, I peeled off my suit jacket and unbuttoned my shirt, laughing at myself. I was getting worked up for nothing. I’d get into bed with a beautiful woman, and nothing would happen or change.
I expected a rush of relief, not a pang of disappointment.
“Sorry, I forgot my—”
Sabrina stilled when she spotted me, roaming her eyes over my bare chest.
“Sorry, I thought I’d change while you were in there. I didn’t expect you to come out so soon.”
“Yeah, um… I usually take longer, but I forgot my skincare in my other bag,” she explained in a nervous rush.
“Like what you see?” I taunted, flicking my eyes down my torso. “You may want to close your mouth before it gets dry.”
She narrowed her eyes at me as she dug into her overnight bag and headed back to the bathroom.
I couldn’t hide the wide grin splitting my mouth as I packed away my suit and fished my bed clothes out of my bag. It was always fun getting a rise out of Sabrina.
It was fun holding her and kissing her at will tonight too. But that game didn’t apply in this room.
Or it shouldn’t.
“Okay, all yours,” Sabrina finally called out. I grabbed my toothbrush and tried not to look at her, but those little sleep shorts showcasing her long legs were impossible not to notice.
I took my time in the bathroom, hoping maybe she’d fall asleep if I stayed in there long enough. I splashed cold water on my face after I pulled on my T-shirt and boxers.
“I thought you fell in,” she said when I pushed the bathroom door open.
“Do you think all this just happens?” I pointed to my face. “I need to set myself up for beauty sleep.”
I climbed into bed, settling enough on the edge to keep my distance but not fall off.
“I don’t have a disease, Caden. You can come closer.”
No, I really couldn’t.
“I’m trying to be a gentleman over here.”
“I need to ask you something,” she said, searching my gaze as she settled onto her side. “And I want you to be honest with me.”
“Okay,” I said as I made a slow approach.
“Do you think about me?”
I froze at the question.
“Think about you?”
“Yes. As more than just an old friend.” Her eyes were wide as they held mine. I barely blinked as she sat up. “Because I think about you.”
Jesus Christ.
“You do?” I asked slowly. I didn’t know what was driving this. Memories of old times were kicking my ass tonight too, along with nerves of spending the night together. But for once in my life, I had no idea what to say.
“Yes. Being together tonight…felt good. Like old times, only better.”
“Yes, it felt good,” I allowed. “But remember, we didn’t go back to bad habits—”
“What if I told you that I wanted to cross the line I made us draw, just for tonight?” She inched toward me, pressing her shaking hands against my cheeks.
“What line is that?”
I knew what line she meant—or at least, I prayed I did. I could never resist that hungry look in her eyes. Sabrina was the first woman to get me hard with only a smirk and make me almost come with only a kiss.
I was putty in her hands then and had even fewer defenses now.
“I’m saying I want you.”