Chapter 14
Fourteen
LILITH
The blood moon hangs ominously above the thick canopy of trees, its crimson glow spilling eerie light across the forest. My heart races in my chest as memories flood back to the last time I stood here before my Shadowing. I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid returning eventually, but every fiber of my being is screaming against it.
Once our Shadows are awakened, we have to train to control and tame them, which means facing the forest again—something every student must do.
My attention shifts to Headmistress Bennett as she strides toward me, her expression one of cold indifference. It’s clear she doesn’t care about what happened during my Shadowing, nor does she seem concerned about what might happen now. It’s strange, considering Simon and Vaughn must have filled her in on what they know, even if I’ve been careful not to share the whole story. Something about her feels off—something I can sense deep in my bones.
“I understand there was an isolated incident the last time you awakened your Shadow,” she says coolly. “Since then, we’ve searched the forest and found no disturbances. But just in case, Simon will accompany you today. He won’t interfere with your training, but he’ll be there to protect you if necessary.”
Her words do little to ease my anxiety. The memory of that menacing darkness still lingers in my mind, that strange voice speaking like it knew me. I doubt anyone can protect me from it. But I know that facing my fear is an important part of learning how to control my Shadow, and it did seem to know what to do all on its own last time. Maybe this time won’t be so bad… maybe.
“Duly noted. Thank you,” I reply, forcing a steadiness into my voice that barely masks my fear.
I scan the small group around me, looking for Tony. Even though he can’t physically assist me with this task, I could really use a pep talk… or even a hug. It feels especially daunting with only the two of us, the Headmistress, and her lackeys—whatever she considers them to be—standing out here.
Normally, all the first-years would be here with us, but for some reason, the Headmistress has singled out Tony and me, making us feel a bit isolated. He catches my eye and gives me a reassuring smile, accompanied by a thumbs-up as he mouths, “You got this.” Not quite a pep talk, but it’ll do.
Taking a shaky breath to steady my nerves, I say, “I’ll go first.” Anxiety floods my body, making me feel like I could explode at any moment. But there’s no turning back now; I just want to get it over with.
My gaze shifts to Simon, who gives me a reassuring nod. I’m grateful it’s him accompanying me instead of Vaughn. If it were Vaughn… well, a part of me thinks I’d rather be swallowed by the darkness than be alone with him. I’m not acknowledging the other part of me that’s attracted to him. Nope, not going there.
Shuffling my feet slowly into the forest, I’m instantly enveloped by its eerie stillness. My ears strain to catch any hint of movement or life around me, but everything is silent except for the sound of my heavy breaths. Even Simon is quiet. The only voice I’m hoping to hear is the one that spoke to me last time I was here. Shaking out my hands, I force my feet to move forward again.
A branch snaps behind me, and I whip around, purple sparks of magic flickering to life in my hands on instinct. I brace for an attack, but I struggle to summon my powers. It’s like they’re weakened here, sluggish, and slow to respond. Fuck. That’s not good.
Simon emerges from the shadows, hands raised to calm me down. My shoulders relax slightly at his presence.
“Hey, it’s me,” he whispers, scanning the trees before locking his gaze back on me. “Everything seems in order. If you notice anything unusual—anything I can’t see—let me know, and I’ll take care of it.”
I swallow hard, recalling the day he suddenly darted off during our training session, chasing after… something. I never found out what it was, but I have a sinking feeling it wasn’t anything good.
There’s been a lot of talk lately about the Rogues targeting focal points. Part of me hopes that’s all this is—a Rogue messing with my head. If so, Simon can handle it, and I can put this behind me and focus on my training to become a Protector.
But deep down, I know it’s more complicated than that. No one else was there with me; they can’t understand the terror of that presence or how certain I was that it wanted to kill me. It spoke to me, almost as if it recognized me. The fact that I can’t fully explain what it was makes everything worse. Who would believe me?
“You can’t seriously believe everything is in order,” I mutter, still on edge. What even counts as order in a place like this? The forest is a chaotic blend of wild, ancient magic—there’s no such thing as order here. “I need some space to summon my Shadow. I can’t focus with you hovering around,” I blurt out before he can respond.
Damn, this forest is driving me up the wall, and I’m itching to get out of here.
I turn and march forward, putting some distance between us. I know Simon means well, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s about to witness something embarrassing. Last time, I was a mess—running around like a headless chicken, screaming, covered in blood, and trembling like a leaf.
Welcome back.
Fuck.
My heart sinks, and my feet feel glued to the ground, paralyzed by sheer terror. Oh, no. No. NO!
Panic surges through me, drowning out any training I’ve had. All I can think about is calling out for help. Simon is my only hope right now, and I tell myself I don’t care about feeling embarrassed anymore—I just need him by my side. But when I spin around, searching for his tall shadow, he’s nowhere to be found.
The eerie red light of the moon barely illuminates the twisted trees in front of me. It’s the last thing I see before the darkness swallows everything else.
Oh fuck.
Desperate, I open my mouth to scream for help, but, like last time, no sound comes out. My voice feels trapped inside me, ringing in my mind but silenced. I reach out to summon my Shadow, but nothing happens.
Please. Please, I need you, I plead in my mind, but my burning fox doesn’t appear. The one time I need it the most, it’s nowhere to be found—just like Simon.
A heavy weight settles in my gut as I realize I’m completely on my own—without magic, without a voice, and without support. All I have left are my instincts and my training.
I can’t stay here. Gathering every ounce of strength, I force my legs to move. Each step feels like a battle against invisible forces trying to hold me back, but I refuse to give up. I’m not fucking dying here.
My feet pound against the forest floor, each step sending jolts of protest through my legs. I struggle to catch my breath, but I know stopping isn’t an option—it’s a matter of life and death, and I refuse to let death win. Hell no.
Surrender to me, the darkness hisses, taunting me. But I don’t dare to look back— is there anything to look back at?
Suddenly, the air grows cold, icy tendrils wrapping around me like a vice. My body feels heavy and sluggish, as if something is dragging me down. Yet, I push forward. I can’t stop now.
COME BACK! The voice is way harsher this time, almost demanding. It hits me like a physical shove, yanking me back as if I’m being pulled by an invisible force.
“Fuck!”
With a terrified scream, I finally manage to call forth my burning fox. It stands strong and fierce against the dark, even though it’s way smaller than the surrounding shadows.
In its bright light, I can finally see what’s around me: twisted trees with branches that look like gnarled fingers, all burning with black flames that stink so bad it almost makes me gag. But even with the fire, the air is super cold, and I can see my breath coming out in little puffs.
My fox rushes toward me, colliding with me in a burst of energy that breaks the darkness’s hold. I crash to the ground, and a searing pain jolts through my left side. I glance down in horror and see that I’ve been impaled on one of the rotten branches jutting out from the ground. The sharp tip is buried deep in my side, piercing through muscle and who knows what else.
Shit. This is not good.
A sickly black liquid seeps from the wound, staining my clothes and skin as it flows out. My fox appears again, standing guard to shield me from the encroaching darkness, but I’m not sure how long it can hold it back. The shadows are closing in, spreading and turning everything into inky blackness around us. It’s only a matter of time before they swallow us whole, and when that happens, I can’t imagine what will happen to me or my fox.
It won’t be anything good. I can feel that in my very soul.
“Simon,” I manage to croak, but my voice barely makes it out.
I can’t die here, alone and helpless.
“Simon…” Something drips from my mouth, and when I swipe it with my fingers, I see it’s black goo.
Distantly, I realize this isn’t a good sign, but my mind is starting to feel sluggish. My fox stands firm, guarding me, but deep down, I know it’s a losing battle. My body aches with exhaustion, and every small movement sends sharp waves of pain slicing through my side. My eyelids flutter closed, the sweet promise of rest beckoning me closer.
No. I refuse to die here like this. The darkness can go fuck itself.
Pushing against the overwhelming urge to slip away, I force my eyes open and concentrate. The shape of my fox begins to blur, but the more I focus, the clearer it becomes. I can’t linger here forever; the blood loss will only worsen. Yet, if I move, the infection from the dark goo will spread even faster. I don’t know what it is, but it’s already draining what little strength I have left.
I don’t have a choice.
With a loud groan, I grip the branch impaling me and pull it out. My magic aids the effort, but the pain as it tears through muscle and skin is excruciating. For a moment, I think I might pass out from the intensity, but somehow I manage to stay conscious by focusing on my fox.
Instinctively, my hand moves to the wound, pressing on it tightly in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding—or what bleeding there is. It’s more like a dark liquid seeping from me. I push harder, ignoring the pain, and rise to my shaky feet, fighting to keep my balance. I need help. I have to find a way to heal myself before—
Brave girl, the voice sneers, echoing through the darkness. I do my best to ignore it, knowing with certainty that it’s here to do me harm. For what reason? I have no idea. But it doesn’t matter. You will not escape me again.
A gentle glow pierces through the darkness, radiating from the fox still guarding me. Confusion washes over me when I realize the light is coming from my Predator, but also… not. I can’t look away as the glow begins to gather into a small, concentrated form, as if it’s struggling to take shape into something other than my fox.
I have no clue what’s happening, but it doesn’t seem threatening. In fact, it feels almost familiar, like it’s a part of me, born from my own magic. The light continues to grow until it matches the intensity of the fox, burning with the same fiery brilliance. And then, to my astonishment, it takes the shape of a deer.
A deer.
Holy shit.
The deer gives my fox a silent nod of acknowledgment before turning its gaze to me. What…? A Predator and a Prey teaming up. That’s… unheard of.
Did I somehow do this?
The deer slowly approaches me step by step until it finally reaches me and sinks into my body. A powerful surge of energy tears through me. Then, another wave of energy washes over me as the fox also melds into my being.
The entire forest is flooded with a blinding light, brighter than the sun, radiating from my limbs and exploding outward. An instant later, it vanishes.
And that’s when I crash onto the cold, unforgiving ground.