Chapter 19
Nineteen
SIMON
The moment I step out of my room to switch shifts with Vaughn, preparing to keep an eye on Lilith, she practically pounces on me, catching me off guard.
Her lithe figure is clad in a sleek harness that crisscrosses her shoulders, two small, glinting daggers glinting at her sides. Her gray eyes shine with an intensity that I can’t ignore, brimming with determination as she looks up at me. She looks… hot. And dangerous.
And like a bad idea.
“Hey Simon,” she says. “Can we hit the training grounds? I’d like to start working on controlling my powers, if you’re not busy.”
I hesitate, the instinct to protect her kicking in again. It might be too soon for intense physical activity after everything she’s been through. But before I can voice my concerns, she gives me that pleading look—the one that softens my resolve. How can I say no to those eyes?
“Fine,” I sigh, relenting. “Let’s go.”
As we move past Vaughn, who catches my eye over Lilith's shoulder, I notice him raise an eyebrow in silent question. I shrug, steering Lilith away, determined to keep her from discovering that he’s been shadowing her all day. The last thing she needs is to spark one of their explosive arguments.
When Lilith realizes we’re not heading toward the usual training courtyard, she stops and raises an eyebrow at me. I put my hands up so she’ll hear me out. “I thought you could use some air. Let’s hit the beach.”
She glances warily over her shoulder, as if expecting a Rogue to materialize out of thin air.
“It’s nowhere near the forest. It’s safe,” I assure her. As safe as it can be, anyway. The academy’s rocky foundation creates a natural barrier between the beach and the forest, plus the clear view of our surroundings, I feel confident bringing her there.
I’ll keep you safe. I don’t say the words but plead with my eyes and hope she understands my message. Trust me.
She finally nods and lets me guide her outside. Some time away from everyone else will do her good. The other students have singled her out, and I can see the weight of their scrutiny pressing down on her shoulders. I don’t want to outright mention anything about it and risk causing her to shut down, but this past week has been tough on her. Vaughn and Kai have said the same thing.
We reach the shore of the beach, and here the sounds of the rolling of the waves makes it feel like we are miles away from the forest. A perfect setting to change things up.
“Are you ready?” I ask as we take our positions opposite one another. She already appears eager to start, a spark of determination in her gray eyes. Tanya suggested she take it easy for a while, and I plan to follow that advice while still providing effective training to help boost her sense of security.
The weather is perfect—sunlight dapples our skin, wrapping us in a comforting warmth. When the light catches her eyes, the lavender flecks within them seem to shimmer, making it almost impossible to look away.
“Definitely,” she replies. “You were right. It’s nice to get away from the academy for a bit.”
I force myself to tear my gaze from her, crossing my arms over my chest. It’s time to start training, but I’ll be damned if she ends up hurt again on my watch.
“I don’t want you to push yourself too hard while you’re still healing from the attack,” I say gently. “But I do want you to regain some control and confidence. So, why don’t you tell me what you’d like to focus on today?”
Lilith pauses to consider my question, the soft breeze teasing a few stray strands of her hair as she gazes into the distance, watching the waves. After a moment, her gray eyes meet mine again. “I think I’d like to learn how to summon my Shadows,” she admits, her voice slightly hesitant. “I want to do it without needing to defend myself or getting injured for them to come forward.”
“No matter how hard I tried to summon my fox in the forest, it wouldn’t appear until I was in danger.” Her gaze drops to the sand, revealing the turmoil beneath her calm exterior. “I just think I’d feel a lot safer if I could call on it whenever I needed to.”
I nod in understanding, fully aware of the effort and dedication it takes to master such a skill. Typically, it starts with group classes, but if anyone deserves to learn on her own terms, it’s Lilith. Especially if she becomes the target of students too.
“Okay, we’ll start there,” I say softly, trying to sound encouraging. “But you have to be patient with yourself. Remember, it’s easy to lose hope when frustration sets in.”
“Yeah, see, patience isn’t really my strong suit,” she admits sheepishly.
“It’ll have to be,” I reply. “Close your eyes.” She hesitates, uncertainty flickering in her expression. Come on, trust me.
Eventually, she complies. I move behind her, lightly placing my hands on her shoulders. “Breathe. I’m right here with you. You can let your guard down—nothing will harm you here. I’ll try to guide your Shadow with mine.”
“You can do that?”
Honestly, it’s something I’ve never attempted with anyone else. But I believe it’s possible. It has to be if I want to help her. There are various ways to bond Shadows, but trust is the key ingredient.
“It can happen when two practitioners trust each other completely,” I explain. “And that’s what I need from you. Trust me.”
This time I do say the words out loud and hope she decides to believe them. I need her to believe them. So I can keep her safe.
Ever so slowly, I notice her shoulders beginning to relax under my touch. Her breathing evens out, and the tension that had coiled tightly within her seems to melt away. She’s letting go of her defenses, trusting me with something deeply personal, and I’m determined not to let her down.
“Where do you feel your Shadows when you think about them?” I ask. I keep my voice calm and steady, not wanting to break her focus.
She takes a moment, searching for the right words. “In my chest...”
I tilt my head in curiosity. Most Predators experience their Shadows in their minds or muscles, so her answer is… unexpected.
I step in front of her and hesitate. I need to put my hand where she feels her Shadows, so I can help draw them out, but as I’m standing there watching her chest move up and down steadily, her eyes closed and her posture relaxed, my thoughts are less about training and more about… other things. Forbidden things. Definitely dangerous things that match her equally dangerous attire today.
Shit, Simon. Not the time.
I take one last long, lingering look to satisfy my craving and then place my hand on her chest. Beneath my touch, I sense a foreign energy anchored in her heart, drawing from her chest.
My own magic tingles in response, and I feel my bear’s presence stabilizing around me. Our Shadows are manifestations of our inner energies, and by connecting hers with mine, I hope to coax hers into the light.
“Focus on your chest. Let the power flow through you,” I instruct.
Her breathing quickens, a telltale sign that something is stirring within her. “I can feel your energy too,” she whispers, her expression twisting with concentration. “It’s—oh.”
Lilith’s eyes fly open as she gazes down at the bright mass forming before her. It struggles but persists, a luminous glow illuminating the space around us. My bear separates from me, charging toward the light with a fierce roar. Sensing the added strength, the light reacts and transforms, revealing her Predator and Prey—a fox and a deer.
“Good. Now I want you to use your Shadows on me, not your body,” I say firmly.
“I can’t—” she protests.
“You can,” I insist, my tone unwavering. “You can trust me, Lilith.”
“Simon…” Her voice wavers. I recognize the fear radiating off her. It’s the same as my own when I first manifested my bear Shadow, the buildup of magic and the buzzing of it under your skin… It can be terrifying.
“Attack me, Lilith. Don’t you want to feel safe and in control if something happens?” I urge.
She nods, but I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. I really wish there was an easier way to help her, but aside from heading back into the forest, this is our best shot. Honestly, I’d much rather be right here with her than let her go in that forest ever again.
“But—”
“Do you really want to feel powerless and helpless again?” I push, my voice rising a notch and using the words she said to convince me to train her. “Do you want to die?” Those last words hit hard, and I can barely get them out, but I stand by them. It’s the reality we’re dealing with, no sugarcoating it.
Lilith nearly died in the forest. And I nearly let it happen. I don’t think I could handle it if—
Then I see it—a spark lights up in her, and something clicks. Her fox leaps into action, launching itself at my bear with a surprising ferocity for something so small. It taps into its power and tears into my Shadow like it means business.
At the same time, her deer gets in on the action too. Normally, Preys are all about healing, but right now it’s charging in with its massive antlers like it’s ready to throw down.
Wow, that’s… new. Normally, Preys shy away from a fight, letting the Predators handle the heavy lifting. But I guess these are some pretty wild circumstances we’re dealing with.
Lilith’s whole vibe shifts dramatically. Not only are her Shadows coming at me, but she’s diving in with everything she’s got. It’s like she’s flipped a switch and transformed into someone completely different.
Her once soft gaze turns icy and strategic as she throws punches my way. I dodge them easily enough, but I can feel the raw power behind each strike. Her movements are fluid and instinctive, her strength supercharged by her Shadows.
I notice her forehead glistening with sweat as she lunges at me, and a wave of concern hits me. She might be pushing herself way too hard, way too soon.
Instead of hitting back, I stay in a defensive position, keeping a close eye on her movements. I take mental notes on what we can work on together in the coming weeks to help her improve.
Rather than slowing down as I expect, she ramps up the intensity, unleashing a flurry of punches fueled by sheer tenacity. The fight is getting more intense, and it’s clear she has no plans to back off.
What started as a warm-up is now an all-out assault. She zeroes in on my weak spots—like my ribs—pushing me back with the force of her strikes. And even though I could easily defend myself, I hold back, not wanting to hurt her. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my bear mirroring my actions, staying observant but not engaging. Good.
Sweat drips down my face as I struggle to catch my breath while she continues her relentless onslaught, showing no signs of fatigue. When I lock eyes with her, I don’t see the Lilith I know anymore; it’s as if all her rational thought has been replaced by raw aggression. It’s like her attack is led by her Shadows.
“Lilith,” I call out, hoping to cut through the fog. She’s driving me toward the edge of the beach, and I continue not to fight back—not now, not when her well-being and safety are my top priority.
Her name gets swallowed up by the heat of our struggle. She lunges at me, quick and graceful, and we both tumble onto the sand. We grapple for a few seconds, but I manage to flip her underneath me, pinning her hands firmly above her while I push my weight down to keep her restrained.
“Lilith!” I shout again, right in her face, my voice sharper this time, desperate to snap her out of whatever trance she’s in. “Renegade!”
She shakes her head, confused. “What just happened?”
Finally, I see a glimmer of recognition in her eyes. I quickly glance over my shoulder, letting out a sigh of relief when I see my bear still nearby. But Lilith’s Shadows are gone.
When I turn back to her, she shifts her weight to straighten her legs under me, and that’s when I realize just how much of my own body is touching hers. Every delicious inch of her chest down to her hips is pressed down into the ground by mine and her slight movement causes friction that leaves zero room for interpretation. Not when there are certain… body parts that are rapidly getting harder the longer I lay on top of her.
I see the moment she realizes what’s really happening, when her beautiful eyes, now clear and focused, widen and her hips roll, threatening to make me lose my mind.
“Your Shadows might be a bit overwhelming right now,” I explain, my voice thick and strained. “They can take control of your body and consciousness sometimes. And you have not one, but two to master.”
I slowly let go of her hands, but my touch lingers a little longer than necessary. “It’s a good sign—they’re powerful, and that strength can really help you. But it also means you’ll need to work harder to master them, especially if you want to summon them when you need them.”
A heavy silence settles between us, thick with unspoken words and so much tension, neither of us willing to break the spell. But we have to—no matter how much I long to lean down and taste her, to close that last inch between us.
She bites her lip and I follow the movement, and I know, in that moment, she knows exactly what’s going on in my mind.
Slowly, with more effort than I’d care to admit, I force myself to break away and stand.
I extend a hand to help her up, my voice steady now despite the whirlwind of emotions churning inside me. “Come on. Let’s head back to the academy,” I suggest. “We can shower and then hit the library. There might be some books that can help us figure this out. I want us to use all the resources we can before we dive back into training. We’re going to need a bit more help, I think.”
Struggling to control a new Shadow isn’t uncommon, and I know having two makes it even trickier. But what worries me more are these blackout moments she’s been experiencing—those trances that leave her vulnerable. It’s like the magic is controlling her and not the other way around, and that’s… something they only talk about in myths.
Lilith stares at me for a moment, her gaze searching mine, before finally accepting my hand. “Thank you,” she whispers, her cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and something else that makes my heart race and my cock harden even more.
We start heading back to the academy, but every step feels like I’m being pulled away from her, from the warmth and the connection still sparking between us. The last thing I want is to put distance between us, but the reality of our situation is hard to ignore.
As we make our way along the path, there’s this heavy silence, full of things left unsaid. I keep stealing glances at her, catching these moments where I see that fierce fire inside her—the girl who's learning to deal with her Shadows, even if they scare her.
I want to reach out, to close the gap, but the academy looms ahead like a barrier. The longing coils tighter in my chest, reminding me that there’s so much left unsaid. And as the familiar silhouette of the academy comes into view, I know that whatever happens next could change everything.
The frigid water from the shower hammers against my skin, numbing my senses and dulling the primal urges that surge within me. I lean against the cool, smooth tiles, allowing the chill to seep into my bones and soothe my racing thoughts.
With a deep breath, I scrub my hands over my face, squeezing my eyes shut in a desperate attempt to purge my mind of the images that taunt me—Lilith beneath me, bare and writhing.
Shit.
Guilt washes over me like another wave, overwhelming and suffocating. She trusts me as her mentor, and the very idea of crossing that boundary should feel wrong. But with Lilith…
No matter how hard I try, she lingers in my thoughts like a haunting melody that refuses to fade. From the first moment our eyes met, I knew there was something important about her, but like an idiot I thought it was because she was meant to join Operation Nightfall. Now I know I was blinded by my sense of duty and naive in thinking I could manage to keep my distance.
The memory of our energies intertwining earlier today pulses in my veins, vivid and intoxicating. Experiencing someone else’s essence on that level is rare, further amplifying the pull I feel toward her. I exhale deeply, letting the breath escape like a whispered prayer, trying to shake off this sinful longing that threatens to consume me.
Fuck. What have I gotten myself into?
The creak of the bathroom door opening behind me jolts me out of my thoughts. Shit, did I forget to lock my door?
Next thing I know the shower door slides open, and my heart stops at the sight before me. Lilith stands there, her black hair cascading down her back in damp waves, wrapped in a towel that barely covers her.
The air feels heavy with tension, buzzing with anticipation, and I find it impossible to look away from her. She’s the balance between vulnerable and fierce, a mix that stirs something deep inside me, coaxing my protective side.
As she steps inside and lets the towel slip away, my throat goes dry, and a hunger stirs within me that I’m not sure I can rein in. I try to hold her gaze, but my eyes betray me, drifting down her flawless skin and the alluring curves that I ache to touch. It’s hard to think about anything else.
Fuck. I don’t really want to anyway.
“Lilith...” I manage to choke out, utterly transfixed by her beauty. My mind conjures up all the reasons this is a terrible idea, but they all fade away when she flashes a grin at me.
I thought I was someone strong. Turns out all it takes is one smile from her and I am completely weak.
She shivers as she steps into the shower. “Gods. They really do have warm water here, you know,” she says, turning the knob the other way, and the water heats up almost immediately. “You should use it more often.”
Honestly, the water temperature doesn’t even register. “Lilith,” I say again, struggling to find my voice. “What are you doing here?”
In an instant, her hand wraps firmly around the back of my neck, tugging me closer. The moment her lips meet mine, all my defenses crumble like a sandcastle under a wave. I lose myself in the kiss, surrendering to the hunger I’ve been denying. It’s as if I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life, and she’s the only one who can satisfy this overwhelming need.
Our bodies move in perfect harmony, water cascading over our skin and amplifying everything. My hands roam freely, needing to feel all of her all at once, then exploring her curves until they settle on her hips. I lift her legs around my waist and press her against the cool tiled wall behind her.
“More,” she pleads. And in that moment, I realize I’m willing to give her anything and everything she desires.
“Are you sure?” I gasp out against her lips in between heavy breaths.
She nods frantically like she needs this as much as I do. “Yes, yes, please,” she begs and I don’t need any further encouragement.
My body is already ablaze, it has been since our training session at the beach, and my cock is pulsing and throbbing with need as I grip her tightly in my arms. She’s pressed against the cool tiles, her skin flushed and her breath coming in quick gasps.
One day, if she’ll let me, I want to explore all her curves first with my tongue, then with my fingers, learning and memorizing her taste and all the sounds I can coax out of her. But today, the sense of urgency and fear she might change her mind, win over.
And so, for once in my life, I decide not to overthink it.
With a groan, I position myself at her entrance, taking a moment to savor the tantalizing friction between us. Then, in one smooth motion, I plunge deep inside her, feeling every inch of her tight, wet heat surrounding me. It’s almost too much to bear, my knees momentarily buckling under the intense pleasure, but I quickly regain my balance and pull back before thrusting into her again and again while leaning in to swallow the moans I’m coaxing from her lips.
But then she whimpers against my mouth, and that’s my undoing.
“Fuck,” I growl against her lips. I hike her hips up higher to get a better angle, doubling my pace as I thrust deep. And it feels like pure ecstasy, the way her pussy clenches and throbs around me like I was made to fit inside of her.
“Simon,” she whines, her fingernails digging into my shoulder as she tries to hold back her sounds, which only makes me more determined to draw them out.
Lilith’s lips pull away from mine, leaving a trail of hot kisses down my throat before settling on my shoulder where she sinks her teeth in possessively. That’ll leave a mark for certain and I never want it to disappear.
“You feel incredible. So damn perfect,” I pant, my voice rough.
Her body trembles against mine. My arm tightens around her, holding her close while I give into my need to explore with my other hand as it ventures down between her thighs. My fingers move quickly against her swollen clit, drawing little moans and gasps from her that echo through the tiled walls of the bathroom.
“I could do this forever,” I tell her, and it’s true. If I had control over my own body, I’d fuck her like this until the end of time. She consumes me entirely, and I know there’s no turning back from this. “Gods, your pussy is fucking glorious.” Better than I could’ve ever imagined.
Her eyes close, and she tips her head back, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, while she moans. I know this sight will stay with me until the end of time. Everything about this moment has me aroused beyond comprehension.
“That’s my good girl. Taking my cock so well,” I praise her.
She responds by tightening around me, and it’s as if we’re both trapped in a haze of pleasure, unable to find our way out. I can’t get enough of the expression on her face, of her body against mine, of the sounds she’s making. Right now, it all belongs to me.
Lilith looks as if she’s barely coherent, holding on by a thread of bliss as I thrust my cock deep inside of her. She’s massaging me from all angles, pushing me toward the peak of ecstasy like no one else ever has or ever will again. My forehead presses to hers, our lips only a breath away. I stare at her for a moment, and then a single request escapes my lips.
“Kiss me,” I say on a plea and she obliges.
Her mouth collides against mine and that’s all it takes to tip me over the edge. Then, almost as if on cue, Lilith finds her release right on time with my own, the flutters of her orgasm milking my cock for every last drop. She shudders in my arms with the aftereffects of her pleasure. I tighten my grip around her, keeping her close and realizing that my need to protect her is oddly soothed right this second.
I could hold her like this forever, my cock buried deep in her, and never want for anything else in my life, but the water of the shower suddenly goes cold and I realize Lilith is shivering, ruining my plans. Reluctantly, I place her feet on the floor, but all I can think about is kissing her again. And so, with a fierce longing, I lean down and press my lips to hers once more.
Right now, that’s all I need.