Chapter 21
Twenty-One
LILITH
I can almost hear the echoes of laughter as I walk past groups of students huddled together, their eyes darting my way, whispering words that hit the mark. “Freak.” “Abomination.” “Dual.”
They don’t see me; they see the labels that they think define me. I pull the hood of my cloak up a bit higher, trying my best to block out their gazes and their words. But it doesn’t. The whispers keep following me everywhere I go.
That’s why lately I spend most of my time in the library. Everything is quiet, a sanctuary from the chaos outside. Here, I can lose myself in the pages, forgetting for a moment that I’m now an outcast. I walk deeper into the quiet rows of books, taking a deep breath and soaking in the familiar scent of aged paper and ink, which feels like home in a world that feels increasingly foreign.
Even with the Predator pin on my chest, I can’t shake the feeling I don’t belong here anymore. I’m caught between two worlds—neither fully Predator nor entirely Prey. And it’s lonely. It’s a constant reminder that I’m not entirely welcome in either section. I keep wondering if Headmistress Bennett will decide to kick me out, banishing me from this place I’ve fought so hard to be a part of. The thought twists my stomach in knots.
Just yesterday, I’d asked her if I should move to a different dorm. She’d looked at me with those piercing eyes of hers, reassuring me that I could stay. But did she mean it, or was it just another half-hearted attempt to placate me? I can’t help but feel that the more I learn about my powers, the more I may be a threat to the Balance.
I wander through the library, stopping at a shelf lined with tomes dedicated to Shadows—both the theories surrounding them and the practicalities of wielding their power. I brush my fingers against the spines until they settle on one of the heavier volumes I've come across. Pulling it from the shelf I find the cover is cracked and faded. The title reads Understanding Duality: The Path to Mastery , and a bitter smile tugs at my lips.
Well damn. Exactly what I was looking for.
With my heart racing, I open the book and begin skimming through the pages, absorbing the words, hoping to find a hint of something that can help explain what's happening to me.
The authors speak of balance and embracing both sides of oneself, but it’s just common general information. The book doesn’t talk about the true nature of a Dual, and there’s nothing here that resonates with my own experience with two Shadows. It’s clear whoever wrote this doesn’t know what it’s like to live like this, to feel like a puzzle piece that doesn’t quite fit anywhere.
With a heavy sigh, I close the book and turn my gaze toward the window, watching the rain drizzle down the glass. I wish I could wipe away how I’m feeling as easily as the raindrops slide down the pane, each one merging into the next, just… flowing.
I take a deep breath, trying, and failing, to push all my overwhelming emotions aside as I take a seat at a desk. My hand hovers above a blank piece of paper, the quill trembling a bit, before I start writing. I’m desperate to unload how I feel somewhere, anywhere. And there’s no one better to vent to than Natalie.
Gods, I miss her. She’s always had so much faith in me, believing that I’ll somehow figure it all out. But right now, it feels like I’m letting her down.
Dear Natalie,
So much has happened since I left, and I really wish you were here to help me navigate all of this. In times like these, I could definitely use your wisdom. Seriously, you always seem to know what to do.
Firstly, since I know you’re probably burning with curiosity: Yes, the academy is filled with hot-as-fuck guys, and yes, I may have hooked up with a few of them. I might have even caught a glimpse of my fated mate, but I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t crossed paths with him since, but I promise to write to you again if I find him.
Now, onto the real struggle.
Summoning Shadows is proving to be way more difficult than I expected. I managed to pull it off during the Shadowing, but things have been… chaotic ever since.
Nat, I’m scared. I feel like there’s something wrong with me, but I can’t quite figure out what it is. I could really use a bit of normalcy right now—I’d do anything to talk to you face-to-face and get one of your famous hugs.
We’re still not allowed any visits or trips to the outside world, but the headmistress has finally permitted letters. So, if you want to reach out, you can write back to me. Just please, keep it discreet in case someone else reads it before it gets to me...
“Hey, Lilith. What are you doing?” Tony’s voice makes me jump and he plops down beside me at the table. I quickly scan the room, forgetting where I was for a moment. Realizing I’m still in the Predators’ library, I’m now extremely curious what Tony is doing here.
I give him a sideways glance. My friend looks like he usually does, his hair a bit messy, his clothes a little rumpled and his round glasses sliding down his nose. And I always find it comforting.
“Writing a letter,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “You know, keeping in touch with the outside world.”
He raises an eyebrow, a teasing smile creeping onto his lips. “To your secret admirer?”
I bark out a laugh, and the tension in my shoulders eases slightly. “Something like that,” I reply, rolling my eyes.
Tony leans closer, his tone turning serious. “Are you really okay? You know, you don’t have to do this alone. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
That catches me off guard, and for a moment, I’m tempted to spill everything—the fears, the doubts, the longing for home. But instead, I just nod, grateful he’s here.
I clear my throat. “What are you doing here?” I ask, noticing how he’s fidgeting and adjusting his glasses. It’s clear he feels out of place, but he still inches his chair closer to me.
While there’s no rule against Prey being here, it’s definitely not something that happens often. I’m sure he probably received some disapproving looks on his way here.
“I came to check on you. With everything going on, I thought you might appreciate having someone on your side,” he explains with a soft exhale.
A smile spreads across my face. Tony is one of the few people that makes all of this… tolerable. I never thought I’d find another best friend as important to me as Natalie, but somehow Tony has become exactly that without me even realizing it. I’m not sure what I would do without his friendship.
“I appreciate that, but I can’t expect you to always be by my side. Even if you did suggest watching over me while I sleep, which is both endearing and slightly creepy.” I nudge him playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
“Well, it would mess with my sleep schedule, but like I said, I’m willing to do it for you.” He leans in closer. “So, what are you writing?”
I glance down at the letter to Natalie. “I’m writing to my other best friend. Actually, I think you’d really like her.”
Tony arches an eyebrow. “Is she anything like you?”
I pause to think about it. While Natalie and I have our differences, we also share some surprising similarities.
“Yes and no. She’s a non-practitioner, but you’d never guess it. She’s much bolder than I am. Fearless. Unstoppable.”
Tony’s face lights up with curiosity and he leans his elbow on the massive wooden desk, resting his chin on his palm. “Well, if you’re writing her a letter, you should mention that your other best friend says hi. I should meet her at some point, don’t you think?”
A small silence stretches between us. Is he suggesting what I think he is?
“Are you… trying to get me to set you up with my other best friend? What happened with that blonde girl you’ve been hanging out with?”
“No, not exactly ‘set us up’—just a friendly introduction. We’ll take it from there.” He grins, but the smile quickly fades. “It’s not working out with her, and I thought it was best if we went our separate ways.”
I can tell he’s hiding something by the way he avoids eye contact. I know him too well.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, trying to coax the truth out of him.
“It’s nothing,” he replies, fidgeting with his glasses nervously. That only confirms my suspicions; he always fiddles with his glasses when he’s hiding something.
“Tony… don’t make me pry it out of you.”
He sighs, glancing away before finally giving in. “Okay, um, well… with this whole Dual situation, she made some comments that I couldn’t overlook…”
My heart sinks. I clench my jaw, guilt immediately flooding through me. “Fucking hell, Tony. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to spill over into your life like that. I—”
“Hey,” he interrupts, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “This isn’t on you, Lilith. There’s no way I’d ever stay with someone who talks about my best friend like that. Please. If they can’t appreciate you, then I can’t be interested in them. It’s as simple as that. Her choices say a lot about her—not you.”
“But it’s my fault,” I murmur, staring down at our joined hands. “I have two Shadows, and I know it’s complicated. It’s not fair to you, and now you’ve had to deal with her… with people like her because of me.”
Tony gives my hand a gentle shake, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts. “You don’t have to carry this guilt. You didn’t ask for any of this, and it doesn’t change the fact that you’re my friend. I’m damn glad to be by your side.”
I look up, my eyes stinging a little. “I hate that you feel like you have to justify our friendship. You shouldn’t have to.”
He shakes his head, his expression softening. “I don’t have to justify anything, especially not when it comes to you. The people that care about you know you’re not some psychopath hell-bent on bringing nothing but darkness and chaos to the realm, and that’s all that matters.”
A small smile tugs at my lips, mirroring his, though the heaviness in my chest doesn’t really go away. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” he adds like he can sense what I’m feeling.
I nod, the ache of guilt still there, but his words bring a bit of comfort. Glancing down at the half-finished letter to Natalie, I grab my quill and finish it, feeling a little less alone.
Don’t worry, though. I’ve made a good friend here who looks after me just like you. His name is Tony, and he says hi. I think you’d like him—I hope you’ll get the chance to meet him soon.
Please make sure to check in on Mom and Dad from time to time. I’ll write them letters, too, but I know they might not always be completely honest. They won’t want me to worry, so I’m counting on you to keep an eye on them.
Love you always,
Lilith
The door swings open again, and Savina strides in. Her gaze sweeps over the room before landing on us. Tony’s cheeks turn pink, and it’s obvious to me that he finds her attractive, though I doubt he’d never admit it. And who can blame him? She walks everywhere like she owns the place, her hair and makeup flawless.
Being alone with me in the Predator’s library was one thing, but Savina’s presence shifts everything. Tony clears his throat awkwardly while Savina tilts her head, her sharp eyes taking him in.
“You’re not a Predator,” she states plainly.
Tony stammers, nodding way too quickly. “Yes. No. I mean, you’re right,” he says, completely flustered. I watch him squirm for a beat, a tiny bit amused, before stepping in.
“He’s here to check on me. You know, with everything going on...” I trail off, hoping to ease the tension.
Savina continues her silent assessment, her gaze lingering on him a moment longer. It’s intense enough that I almost feel like I’m intruding on their interaction.
“Very noble of you,” she says, offering a rare, genuine smile. It’s so unexpected that I wonder for a second if they’ve met before.
“I’m Tony,” he says, a bit more composed.
“Savina,” she replies smoothly.
Nope, definitely haven’t met before. Interesting.
A brief silence settles between us, the kind that quickly shifts from bearable to awkward. I glance over at Tony, who’s giving me that look—the one that begs for an exit strategy. I don’t need words to understand him.
“Could you give Savina and me a minute—” I don’t even finish before Tony’s up on his feet, grabbing his books and heading for the door like it’s his saving grace.
“I’ll catch you later, all right? See you in class,” he calls out over his shoulder, carefully avoiding looking in Savina’s direction as he makes his exit. He nearly trips on his way out, and both Savina and I exchange a glance, amused but also slightly concerned. He’s so fucking adorable. And by the look she sends his way, she might think so too.
Very interesting.
Once the door closes, my attention shifts fully to Savina. She’s easily one of the most stunning women I’ve ever met, so I can’t really blame Tony for his reaction. But what brings her here? Part of me suspects she’s come to talk about the recent buzz about me. After all, I’m the academy’s hottest topic of conversation currently.
Each step she takes is smooth, her heels barely making a sound on the stone floor before she settles into the chair across from me. Her eyes are sharp, assessing, as she finally speaks. “It’s true, then, isn’t it? You can summon both a Predator and a Prey.”
I hesitate before nodding. Savina and I got along well before this whole Dual thing surfaced, but now... I’m not so sure where we stand. Will knowing this change things between us?
“I spoke to Headmistress Bennett. She said I didn’t have to switch dorms or—”
“Is that why you think I’m here?” Savina cuts in, arching a perfectly shaped brow. “To judge you?”
I shrug. “Most people do.”
They’ve even gone so far as to debate whether I should be allowed to stay at the academy at all. Honestly, I get it. If I were in their shoes, I’d be cautious. The legend of the Dual—whether real or not—is deeply taboo, even if there isn’t much known about him. It has people questioning what’s right and wrong, what creates Balance, and what causes Chaos.
“Well, most people don’t know you,” she says, crossing her legs and leaning back. Her eyes flick to her long, scarlet nails, the gesture calm but deliberate. “Being a female Predator is already a challenge. People love to tell you it’s a role meant for men, that it’s nearly impossible to succeed. Yet, here we are, defying those expectations.” She meets my gaze, her tone softening. “So, to answer your unspoken question: no, I’m not here to judge you. And I’m certainly not here to push you out. I’m here to tell you that it’s time to stop hiding. Start embracing who you are. You’re destined for more than you realize, and I, for one, am excited to see where that takes you.”
Her words hit me harder than I expected. For so long, all I’ve wanted is to fit in, to follow the path laid out for me. But now I see that I’ll never be like everyone else. And maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe it’s a strength.
Perhaps being different isn’t a burden—perhaps it’s my greatest gift.
I linger in the library long after Savina leaves, the daylight fading into the soft flicker of candles. The quiet is exactly what I need—a moment to think.
Instead of focusing on summoning my Shadows, I’ve buried myself in books about the Dual. I’m searching for answers like Simon had suggested—anything to help me understand who, or what, I am.
I remember overhearing my parents arguing about the Dual when I was younger. It became a sore spot between them, their hushed whispers full of tension that they didn’t think I heard.
My dad was relentless, chasing after every rumor, every lead, but nothing ever came of it. Eventually, people stopped believing in the Dual, dismissing him as a myth. It’s kind of like Balance itself. People don’t trust what they can’t see, and they fear what they don’t understand.
A sigh slips out as I slump over the pages. The memories of my dad feel distant, like they’re locked away somewhere I can’t quite reach. He spent so much of his life searching for the Dual, but what would he think if he saw me now? Would he see me as a threat, the same way he saw the Dual?
I shake off the thought and turn my attention back to the book in front of me. Information on the Dual is scattered and fragmented. Some say he came from chaos, born in darkness, with the power to summon both a Predator and a Prey. Theories about his purpose range from him being a Keeper of Balance to being a sign of the world’s end.
Definitely not the kind of reputation you want at Obsidian Academy.
There’s a sketch of him with his Shadows—a lion and a bison at his sides, his face hidden in shadow. The caption mentions how effortlessly he controlled both. I wonder if he struggled with it starting out as much as I do. How long did it take him to master that kind of power?
My thoughts spin as I flip through more pages. What if our fates are tied together? What if I’m headed down the same path?
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a flicker of movement—a shadow, graceful and fluid, slipping between the rows of bookshelves. My breath catches, and I blink hard, but it’s already gone, dissolving into the dim light. Maybe I just imagined it.
“Hello?” I call out softly, even though I know I won’t get an answer. I sit for a moment, letting the quiet settle, but it only amplifies the thoughts swirling in my mind.
I know what I need to do. It’s the only choice that makes sense, even if it’s risky. Return to where it all started. The logical part of me screams that it’s a bad idea, that there’s no way this ends well—but logic can’t help me now. Not with this.
I have to face it. I have to speak to it.
The Darkness.