Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
LILITH
Kai quickly leads me to my room, saying nothing else, but his presence comforting beside me. He excuses himself with a nod, leaving me alone with my racing thoughts.
Before I even have a chance to settle in and process the whirlwind of emotions from earlier, there’s a sharp knock on my door. My gut instinct tells me it’ll either be Simon or Vaughn—or maybe both. Given how closely the three of them are tied together, I wouldn’t be surprised if they already knew what happened.
However, when I open the door, I’m taken aback to find Headmistress Bennett standing outside. A small crow perches on her shoulder, its beady eyes fixed on me with an unsettling intensity that sends a shiver crawling down my spine. The air thickens, a warning whispering through my veins that something is wrong.
“Headmistress Bennett,” I manage to say, and my voice is steadier than I feel. “What brings you to my room?”
“May I come in?” Headmistress Bennett asks, her voice smooth with authority, though the coldness of her expression makes it clear that declining isn’t really an option. I’m sure she has more important things to do than visit students in the dorms. This can’t be good.
But I nod and step aside to let her enter my room. The moment the door clicks shut behind us, I can feel the weight of her gaze, and it sinks in: I’m in trouble. A lot of it.
“I’ve been notified you went into the forest on your own,” she begins, her tone clipped and unwavering. “You do understand that such actions without proper authorization can result in suspension, do you not?”
I’m once again baffled at how fast information travels within the walls of the academy. I literally just got in the door. And there’s no way Kai had any time to go report it. And he said he wouldn’t, anyway, and I believe him. The bond wouldn’t let him betray me, would it?
I hide my surprise and nod again, the gravity of her words settling heavily in my chest. It’s one of the first rules drilled into us when he first arrived at the academy—students in their first two years are strictly forbidden from entering the forest without supervision. But for me, that wasn’t an option. No one would’ve allowed me to search for the answers I so desperately needed. But I should’ve been more careful.
Shit.
“I apologize,” I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I have so many unanswered questions. I felt I had to take action, even if it wasn’t the wisest decision. I couldn’t keep sitting idly by.”
As I speak, a nagging thought lingers in the back of my mind: How much does she know? Is she aware that Kai was there with me? Or what the darkness told me?
“And did you find any of the answers you seek?” she inquires, her gaze sharpening.
The words spoken by the Darkness echo hauntingly in my mind, but I struggle to push them away. They can’t be true. Deep within my soul, I know I’m not evil; all I want is to serve this realm with honor, like my father. But the fear grips me, preventing me from saying any of this out loud. What if it sounds like something an evil person would say?
“Unfortunately, no,” I lie, the knot in my throat tightening. “I was attacked again, but I managed to escape. Will I be suspended?” I leave out the fact that I had help.
Headmistress Bennett lets out a heavy sigh, her expression unreadable as always. I can’t figure out whether she’s angry or indifferent. “For now, no. But I’m especially glad Kai was there to help.”
My heart sinks at her words, a sharp sense of betrayal eating at my stomach, which makes my bond with Kai hum weirdly. Now that I know it’s there, I can’t ignore it. I’m surprised I hadn’t realized what it was before today. “Kai told you?” I try to keep my voice steady, but I know she can hear the shock in it. He said he wouldn’t—
“No, he didn’t tell me this,” she clarifies, taking a seat in the chair in front of my desk. She gestures for me to sit on my bed, as if bracing for a long conversation. Reluctantly, I make my way back and sit down, clasping my hands together tightly to hide the shaking that might tell her I’m more nervous than I seem.
Headmistress Bennett straightens the deep purple blouse with leather detailing before continuing. “He’s not in trouble either, as I specifically asked him to keep an eye on you.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, the shock and hurt evident on my face. She doesn’t waste any time addressing my reaction. “Simon and Vaughn, too. It may seem extreme, but I have to do what’s best for the academy and all its students. With the recent increase in Rogue attacks, and given the… rumors surrounding your ability, I must be cautious for the safety of everyone here.” She pauses, her gaze softening slightly, if that’s even possible. “I’ll admit I didn’t consider how this would feel for you until now…”
My mind races, struggling to process this new information. All I can think about is everything I’ve done with Simon and Vaughn—was it all just a part of their plan to keep tabs on me? Did they report everything we did back to her?
And what about Kai? Could he have manipulated our bond to draw me in, to serve this elaborate scheme?
Gods. I feel like such a fool for falling for their fa?ade. They played me perfectly and I walked right into their trap. I fell for all of it. Hell, I even messed around with two of them. Was that a game too?
My cheeks burn with shame as I bite my lip, desperately trying to push back the wave of humiliation threatening to consume me. I’m a fucking idiot.
“Lilith?” Headmistress Bennett’s voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts. It feels as though she can see right through me, unraveling every tangled emotion and thought that swirls within.
Somehow I manage to hold back the tears that are close to spilling over. The crow still perched on her shoulder tilts its head, its unblinking stare always so unsettling. “Apologies. I—” I trail off, struggling to find the words to explain the storm of feelings raging inside me.
“I understand this is a lot to process. But you understand why I did what I did, right? I never meant to be hostile toward you,” she says, her tone now weirdly empathetic. It’s even more unnerving coming from her. She’s always so cold.
“Of course,” I reply, but it sounds like an automatic response.
The sad part is I do understand. Her reasoning is logical; she wanted to protect the academy and its students. Anyone with common sense would’ve acted the same way. I’m an unknown, a wild card.
What stings is how none of the three of them thought to mention that they were sent to me by the headmistress. Simon used the mentorship as an excuse to protect me, but was that even his idea? Vaughn kept antagonizing me and I thought it was just his annoying personality. But was getting closer to me also all a plan? And Kai, my fated mate. He said he wouldn’t talk to the headmistress and I believed him. I really thought a bond was enough of a reason to take my side. But what if the headmistress used that too?
It was ridiculous of me to think that I would be more important than their loyalty to the school and the Balance. They clearly all played their roles perfectly to draw me in. What other secrets are they keeping?
“You can trust these boys. They have your best interests at heart.”
“Because you told them to,” I shoot back bitterly. It’s not because they genuinely care. I can’t trust any of them any more than I can trust the headmistress. It’s me now, and Tony—who I refuse to drag into this mess any further. I can’t risk putting him in danger.
“My point still stands,” she insists. “They will do what is necessary to keep you safe, but ultimately, I hold all the power. I’m the one who can truly help you.”
“So, what happens now? Now that you know I’m not a danger, does this change anything? Will you help me?” I hesitate, my voice trembling. “You do know I’m not a threat… right?”
Damn it. Who am I trying to convince? Myself or the headmistress?
She nods, and a wave of relief washes over me. “For now, get some rest. I’ve been in touch with higher-ranked practitioners who believe they may have information to help you. We’ll go through it together when we receive their findings.”
She stands up swiftly, her gaze still cold as it lingers on me. I expect her to say something else, but she simply walks out, closing the door behind her with a soft click. The silence rushes in, leaving me alone with my tears and the swirling thoughts that refuse to settle.