Chapter 5
COLTON
God, I’m officially too old for this shit.
The thought crosses my mind as the early Saturday morning sun pours through the window of my truck.
When I got home last night, I decided sleeping here was my best option, since I still haven’t figured out the best way to handle the squirrel situation in my bedroom yet.
Not to mention the fact that I still don’t have any furniture yet.
I’ve spent more than half of my life on the road and done my fair share of nights sleeping in my truck when I was first starting in the rodeo circuit, so I figured it wouldn’t be too big of a deal.
But judging by the way my body is aching and my entire body is covered in sweat, those days are probably long behind me.
“All right, I guess it’s time to get up,” I say, pushing the door open and forcing my stiff legs to straighten.
After rounding the truck and making my way up the walkway of my new house, I turn back and smile at the view.
The entire morning sky is lit with pink and purple clouds as the sun continues to rise, making the farm land in front of me glow.
Pushing open the door, I try to convince myself that yesterday’s first venture into the house hadn’t really been as bad as I made it in my head.
Surely, it’ll be fine. The squirrels are probably long gone, and the rest isn’t anything that some paint, new floor boards, and a few mouse traps won’t fix.
By the time I make it inside and head toward the bedroom to grab a shower, I’ve talked myself into thinking that nothing's going to jump out at me. Relaxed, I start humming one of the songs the band played last night, thinking about how incredible Lulu looked under the low lights of the bar.
I’m so mad at myself for agreeing to have dinner with Hayes and his family, but there’s no way I can cancel. I’ve never met his mom or the rest of his family, and despite the fact that I would much rather spend the evening learning every inch of Lulu’s body, it won’t kill me to wait a night.
I step into the bedroom, which is thankfully squirrel free.
Blowing out a breath of relief, I look around and make a mental note of the repairs needed there before moving to take a shower.
I shrug out of my shirt and shorts, and pull back the old shower curtain I definitely need to replace before looking down and letting out a loud yelp.
“Oh, for the love of Christ,” I mutter, my plans of a shower completely interrupted by the damn family of squirrels that have taken up residence in my bathtub.
Just like yesterday, they scamper the moment they see me, running in every direction until I stop trying to keep track of them.
“Go, get away,” I yell, the fear I felt yesterday magnified by the fact that I’m fucking naked.
Is this what the people on Naked and Afraid feel like? Because absolutely the fuck not.
“Just let me open the door,” I mutter, more to myself than anything, kicking myself for trapping myself in this damn room when I knew there was wildlife on the loose. I mentally pat myself on the back for managing to mostly keep my composure this time, swinging open the door wide for them to exit.
Relieved, I let out a whoop of victory when they start running out the door one at a time, ignoring the fact that they’ll still be loose in the house.
That’s a problem for another day. Just as I’m about to close the door and celebrate the fact that it kind of feels like I won that round, I feel something on my foot.
I let out another yelp, looking down to see one of the damn things trying to scamper up my leg.
I feel its sharp claws slice my skin, and I scream, jumping and shaking as hard as I can to shake the animal loose.
It looks at me with wide eyes, both of us frozen in shock before it finally comes loose and flies halfway across the room.
It lands with a thunk and stands running out of the room, as I blow out a breath of relief. God, this is a fucking disaster.
“I guess I’d better try to get an idea of where they went,” I mutter, wanting to have enough information for the pest control whenever I make it around to calling them later today.
Peeking around the door frame, I see that most of them are huddled in the corner of the hallway.
Just as I’m about to blow out another breath of relief, satisfied the animals are going to leave me in peace, two of them dart at me from their spot down the hall.
Panicked, I sprint down the hallway, and briefly wonder if I run outside if they’ll follow me.
Since I don’t have anything to lose, I decide to try it, determined this will be an act of pure genius mixed with a little desperation.
But as soon as I step out on the porch, the old door catches behind me and slams shut, locking me out. Naked.
“God, can this morning get any worse?” I mutter, running my hands through my hair. The words are barely out of my mouth when I hear the sound of a truck pulling down my driveway.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I instantly recognize Hayes’s truck stopping right in front of the house. I try to hide myself, but I know by the whooping laughter I can already hear coming out of my best friend's truck that it’s no use.
“Damn, dude. Am I interrupting something?” Hayes calls out with a laugh, making his way up the walkway. “I mean, I can come back later if you’re busy.”
I flip him off before using one hand to cover as much of myself as I can and the other to point at the inside of the house.
“Squirrels. Fucking squirrels,” I mutter, and Hayes collapses into himself in laughter.
“The squirrels are your explanation for why you’re outside naked, and I’m guessing locked out of your house?”
“Hell yes, they are! They’re evil, evil little creatures. I was trying to get in the shower after sleeping in my truck last night, when the little fuckers decided to ambush me.”
Looking down, I gesture to my leg. “See, one tried to climb my leg like a fucking tree and managed to scratch the shit out of me.”
Hayes continues to laugh, tears threatening his eyes as I continue my rant.
“Then, I thought it was safe to poke my head out just so I could tell pest control which way they went, and the damn things rushed me again. So I ran outside to get away, not thinking about the fact that the door was locked from the inside. Plus, I wasn’t exactly expecting any visitors,” I finish, ignoring the way my supposed best friend is howling with laughter at me.
“Dude, I’m sorry, but that’s fucking hilarious,” he groans. “Please tell me your rabies shot is up to date, though.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m all good on that front. But now I’ve gotta figure out what the hell I’m gonna do about all this,” I say, gesturing to the farmhouse.
“Is this the part where I say I told you so?” Hayes gloats, and I flip him off again in response.
“Okay, fine. Let’s do this. I’ve got some clothes in the truck. You put them on because I can’t take you seriously with your junk hanging out, and then we’ll see what we can do with the squirrels.”
“Fine.” I gesture for him to bring the clothes to me.
He shakes his head, turning and running to his truck before coming back with a pair of gym shorts and a T-shirt.
I make quick work of putting them on before straightening and gesturing to the farmhouse in front of us. “All right, let’s break into my house.”
“Jesus, what a fucking day,” I mutter to myself as Hayes pulls down the driveway a few hours later.
It took us almost three hours to get the damn door unlocked, but even then, neither of us were brave enough to face the squirrels again.
Now, I only have about an hour before I need to head over to his house, but after the stress of the day, I’ve been dying to just relax for a while.
Sitting down in the old rickety chair on the porch, I pause and pull out my phone and start looking for a few pieces of basic furniture.
As much as I’ve moved around and lived on the road over the last few years, I haven’t accumulated many belongings of my own, and the idea of having something that’s actually mine feels really fucking good.
After picking out a chair, a table, and a bed frame, I switch over to messages to send Lulu a quick text.
Drake: Hey, Lulu.
Drake: Just wanted you to know I can’t stop thinking about you, and I’m excited to see you tomorrow. I hope your day has gone better than mine.
Lulu: Oh no! What happened??
Lulu: And hello to you too Drake :)
I feel a momentary stab of guilt over seeing the name on my screen, promising myself that I’ll fix it tomorrow when I see her again.
Drake: Squirrels. Lots and lots of squirrels.
Lulu: ???
Lulu: Are you sure you’re okay?
Drake: The house I just bought? Yeah it’s infested with ten of the most vicious squirrels I’ve ever met.
Lulu: Aww, squirrels are so cute though!
Drake: Not when you’re naked and they’re crawling up your leg…
Lulu: STOP
Lulu: YOU’RE LYING
Lulu: I’m pretty sure I’d pay thousands to see that…
Drake: I won’t charge you anything for the naked part ;)
Drake: But the squirrels? Fuck no.
Drake: Never doing that shit again.
Lulu: *eye roll*
Lulu: Okay enough of the jokes… are you okay?
Drake: Yep, I’m good now. But it looks like I’ll be sleeping in my car another night or two until they can get this figured out.
Lulu: Oh no!!
Lulu: Wait, is your house in Mills Corner? I didn’t even ask you last night.
Drake: Yeah, it’s about 10 minutes out of town.
Lulu: Oh, wait. Really?
Lulu: I guess you’re not feeling the Mills Corner Motel?
Drake: As tempting as that is, I think I’ll pass.
Lulu: I don’t blame you. That place gives me the creeps.
Lulu: Hmm
Lulu: Let me think about it tonight. I’ll have a solution for you by the time I see you tomorrow.
Drake: Oh really?
Drake: Let me guess, you’re friends with pest control here in town, and you’re gonna help me get in touch with them? I tried their on-call number a time or two today and never got any answers.
Lulu: Yeah, Andy isn’t known for being the best at getting back to anyone.
Lulu: I’m assuming selling the house and letting them have it to themselves is out of the question?
Drake: Unfortunately yes…
Drake: But don’t think I haven’t thought about it.
Checking the time, I groan when I see it’s time for me to head next door. I’m grateful to his family for inviting me to dinner, but right now all I want to do is sit here and talk to Lulu.
What the fuck has gotten into me? I’ve never enjoyed texting and I’ve definitely never wanted to cancel my plans to stay home and talk to a girl. But I guess there really is a first time for everything.
Lulu: I promise we’ll figure something out.
Drake: I’m holding you to that.
Drake: I’ve gotta go, but I’ll text you tomorrow.
Lulu: Sounds good Cowboy.