Chapter 12 Lucy
LUCY
“One more week,” I squeal to Amelia, looking around the shop at Cedar Creek. “I can’t believe how fast it’s gotten here.”
It’s been a little over three weeks since Colton started here, and with his help, we’ve gotten everything almost ready to go.
From helping us repaint the sign out by the road to landscaping and organization, I don’t know what we would have done without him.
But now that the third Saturday in September is coming this weekend, it’s time to put the final touches on the opening for next weekend.
“Oh my God, I know, right,” she says, dusting the candle shelf. “I can’t wait for everyone to see all the changes we’ve made since last year. I think the white pumpkins we planted this season are going to be a huge hit, too.”
“I agree. I’m so glad they came out the way we wanted them to,” I say, counting the inventory of new handmade jewelry that Mrs. Frannie made for the shop, so I can add them to the system.
“And since the season is starting next week, you know what that means?” I ask excitedly.
“What’s that?” she asks distractedly, looking down at her phone.
“It’s time for us to plan for our annual fall bucket list,” I say, smiling.
Amelia and I made this list together when we were in middle school, and ever since, it’s become a tradition for us to check off the tasks each fall.
Especially with how busy we stay during the pumpkin season, it’s nice to have some fun jobs to look forward to.
“Oh yeah, that thing,” she says, still typing away on her phone.
“Do you want to do the hayride on Friday before the season starts? We could go to the one in Springside,” I tell her, referring to one of the nearby towns that always hosts a hayride through their Christmas tree farm. It’s become one of our favorite parts of the list, despite how quirky it is.
“I don’t know, Lulu. Aren’t we getting to be a little old for that list? Mitch made so much fun of us last year,” she says, putting her phone back in her pocket and looking at me. “We’re not twelve anymore. I think we need to let that one go.”
I stare at her in shock before realizing she’s serious. “Oh,” is all I manage, the frustration and hurt I’m feeling clog my throat.
“Yeah, plus, now that Mitch and I are back together, I just don’t think I’ll have time.”
“Of course,” I murmur sarcastically. “If Mitch thinks it’s lame, it must be true.”
Ever since Amelia came in last week and told me that she’d decided to officially give Mitch another shot, I’ve been feeling like I’m walking on eggshells around her.
I caught her crying two days ago, so I know he’s still up to his usual tricks, but I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do to make her change her mind.
Every once in a while, though, I can’t keep from letting her know how I feel about her relationship.
Amelia shoots me a dirty look. “I thought we were done with this conversation, Lulu. He’s different this time, and we’re really trying to make this work. And I spend literally all day with you. So we don’t need the list.”
“Yeah, but we don’t actually get to talk at work, Mel. You know how slammed we get,” I argue, unable to help myself.
“I just don’t want to do it, okay?” Amelia snaps. “Just let it go, Lulu.”
She takes out her phone again as I stand there in shock before she says,” I’ve got to go. Mitch needs me to come home and cook him dinner before he meets Bruce for their boys’ night. I’ll see you next week.”
“Fine,” I mumble, feeling the tears sting my eyes. “See you then.”
Amelia walks out the door, and as soon as I see her car pull out of the driveway, I can’t help the tears from falling down my cheeks.
Amelia and I never fight, and while I know part of it is still on her, I know she wouldn’t be acting like this if it weren’t for Mitch. But God, I hate seeing her like this.
“Lucy, what’s wrong?” a voice behind me calls, and I jump. Looking over my shoulder, I see that Colton just entered the shop, and I cringe. I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t hear him come in, and now I have to explain the tears.
“Oh, nothing, I’m okay,” I promise, hurrying to wipe the tears from my eyes.
“It sure doesn’t look like it,” Colton says, pulling me into a hug.
My pulse speeds up at the contact, but I remind myself that hugs can be friendly. There’s no reason I should read anything into this.
“What happened?” he asks, and I sigh, knowing he won’t let this go.
“It’s really silly, okay?” I murmur, my cheeks heating. “Just promise not to judge.”
“Darlin’, nothing that has you this upset could ever be silly. Talk to me,” he says, smoothing my hair down.
“Well, Amelia and I have had this list we do every fall for years. It started when we were in middle school, and we’ve done it every year since.
But she just got back with her crappy boyfriend, and he’s convinced her it’s lame, so that she’ll spend more time with him. We just got into a fight over it.”
As I say the words, I continue to cry, knowing I’m overreacting, but unable to stop myself. God, what is wrong with me?
I expect Colton to laugh or make fun of me, but instead he just nods.
“What all is on this list of yours?” he asks, continuing to hug me, and I take a second to revel in the feeling of being in his arms and the smell of his woodsy scent.
“Here,” I say, reaching into my bag and pulling out the tattered paper we’ve used for the last thirteen years. “I know it’s silly, okay? We’ve been doing it since we were twelve, but...”
“It’s not silly, Lucy,” he interrupts, and I look down at the list with him, cringing as I read it to myself.
Amelia and Lucy’s Fall Bucket list:
- Paint Pumpkins
- Host the hay bale obstacle course
- Drink apple cider and make s’mores
- Go on a hayride
- Watch a movie outside on the projector
After a minute of silence, Colton looks over to me. “What if I did the list with you? I haven’t done any of these things in years, and it sounds like fun.”
I look up at him, surprised. “Colton, you can’t be serious. It’s okay. I know it’s probably a little ridiculous.”
“Lucy, I’m not going to sit here and listen to you put yourself down. This list is something that’s important to you, and that’s what matters. So, can I do this list with you this fall?”
I blink, trying to decide if he’s serious, before nodding. “Okay, if you’re sure it’s something you want to do,” I say hesitantly.
“Great, see! This friendship thing is off to a great start!” he teases, and I resist the urge to laugh. Since our almost kiss a few weeks ago, we’ve been nothing but friendly to each other, but God, do I still want him.
I’ve tried as hard as I can to fill my time, keeping myself too busy to dwell on thoughts of him, but each night, I fall asleep thinking about the night at The Watering Hole. And the knowledge that he’s just a few feet down the hall hasn’t exactly helped.
“So, where should we start?” Colton asks, bringing me back to the present.
“Oh, um, well. Normally Amelia and I start off with the hayride the night before the pumpkin patch opens,” I tell him, trying to keep from being embarrassed.
“Sounds fun. I don’t know if I’ve ever been on a hayride,” Colton admits, and I stare at him in shock.
“Wait, what?” How?” I ask, waiting to see if he’s joking.
“Well, there just wasn’t one in the small town where I grew up, and then by the time I was an adult, the fall was full of all things rodeo and bull riding, so I never had time. Where’s the closest one around here?”
“Uh, Amelia and I’s favorite is about an hour from here in a little town called Springside.
I know it sounds weird, but there’s a Christmas tree farm that hosts hayrides each year.
After the ride, you can also reserve your Christmas tree, so it’s really a great deal,” I explain, causing Colton to laugh.
“A fall hayride around a Christmas tree farm?” he says, shaking his head. “That sounds amazing.”
“It really is,” I continue, trying not to think about the fact that he still has his arms around me.
“We’ve thought about hosting them here at the farm, but honestly, it’s a little more of a liability than I’m willing to take on right now.
Plus, they’re a whole lot of work. We couldn’t take them through the patch, and I don’t know how scenic a ride through the cow pasture would be. ”
“Yeah, I’ve never really thought about the liability aspect, but that definitely makes sense. Plus, I think y’all have your hands full here with the farm and the shop.”
“You’re right, there’s definitely never a dull moment. And don’t forget we also have the hay bale obstacle course that we do each October.”
Colton laughs. “Oh, that’s right. How could I forget? I remember Hayes talking about that last year on the circuit."
I expected him to pull back at the mention of my brother, but he didn't. “Yeah, it’s one of our biggest days of the year. We set up hundreds of hay bales in the pasture on the other side of the house, and the team with the fastest time wins a big prize.”
“Sounds like a lot of fun,” Colton says, continuing to look down at the list. “I also can’t remember the last time that I had a s’more. And I’ve never painted a pumpkin either. Wait, why don’t y’all carve them?”
“Ugh, not you too. My dad and brother always gave us the hardest time for that. But painting pumpkins is superior to carving them. There’s none of the gross guts involved, and you can make them pretty and pink,” I explain. “Did I mention we were twelve when we made this list?”
Chuckling, Colton holds up his hands in a sign of surrender. “Oh, my bad, I didn't mean to upset you.”
We both laugh as I look out the window at the sound of a loud, anguished moooo. Alarmed, I look up at Colton. “The cows are pretty far away. If we’re hearing them inside, I’m afraid something might be wrong.”
“Well, let’s go check,” he says, pulling back and making his way towards the door.
I take a moment to mourn the loss of his touch before standing and following him to the Polaris.
He’s already started it up and is waiting for me to slide into the passenger seat.
As soon as I’m seated, he takes off up the hill, and I keep my eyes peeled for the sight of anything out of place.
After a few minutes of riding, I’m convincing myself that we must have misheard the sound before I spot Clarice, my favorite spotted heifer, lying in the grass by herself in the corner of the field.
“Over there,” I yell frantically, and Colton takes off through the pasture, the ATV rattling with every bump and hole on the ground.
When we finally make it there, I feel tears stinging my eyes at the sight of a heifer that’s obviously in pain.
This cow was one my dad bought me when I was a child, and I remember being obsessed with the pretty spots of color on her back.
“What do you think happened?” I ask, jumping off the Polaris to check her.
“Be careful, Lucy. She could still kick you with the way she’s lying,” Colton cautions me, and I nod, moving to the other side, by her face. As soon as I make it to the side, I let out a gasp, noticing the tiny spotted calf tucked against her stomach.
“Oh my God, Colton, there’s a calf!” I whisper, fighting to keep from spooking the heifer, who’s struggling to breathe at my feet.
“Lucy, get back. Let me get over there. She’s hurting, and I’m sure she’s still protective over her calf. I just tried to call the vet, but she’s an hour out,” Colton says, and I don’t miss the concern in his voice. But I ignore him, bending down and running my hand down the cow’s face.
“Sweet Clarice, what happened to you?” I ask, looking her up and down.
Her breathing is weak, and she can barely pick her head up.
She tries to push herself to stand, but she falls over, letting out another loud anguished moo at the movement.
I immediately know this cow doesn’t have an hour, and I take a deep breath, trying not to cry.
It’s silly, but it’s another small piece of my dad that I’m about to lose.
Grief hits me like a tidal wave, and I feel myself shake with tears as I pet my cow’s face.
“It’s okay, Clarice. It’s all gonna be okay.
We’ll take great care of your girl, okay? ”
The cow and I make eye contact for a long moment, and I swear I see her nod before she closes her eyes, and her breathing slows until it stops completely.
I pet her the entire time, lost in my tears.
Why does a part of me feel like I’m losing my Daddy all over again?
My mind flashes back to the day he brought home this little calf to my eight-year-old self, and I thought she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
He told me she was all mine, and let me name her by myself.
She was the first time I really felt like a “grown-up” around the farm.
I try to breathe through the tears, but I struggle, heaving to catch my breath. After a moment, I feel Colton’s arms wrap around me, pulling me back into his chest.
God, this is a disaster, I think, trying to calm myself down. I’ve seen plenty of deaths on the farm over the years, but none of them have ever affected me the way this has.
Colton smooths my hair, and I take a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I know you think I’m overreacting, and I probably am. But my daddy gave Clarice to me when I turned eight, and it’s just hard, you know?”
Understanding fills Colton’s eyes, and he tugs me closer to his chest. “Lucy, I don’t know who ever made you feel like your feelings were an inconvenience, but they’re not.
You’re entitled to feel however you want.
Happy, sad, hurt, scared, whatever. None of those feelings make you immature or too much.
They make you who you are, and I really happen to like you. ”
Hearing his words makes me cry harder, and I cling to him, letting myself feel safe in his arms. After a moment, I pull back and run my finger around the tip of his cowboy hat. “Thank you, Cowboy. I needed that today.”
He nods, and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me again before he stands from the ground and dusts off his jeans.
Holding out his hand for me to take, he lifts me up, and I stand, looking down at the calf in front of us, trying to decide on what to name her. Suddenly, it comes to me, and I smile.
“All right, Carla the calf. It looks like you’re coming with us.”