Chapter 29
S oap flicked into Alfie’s eye, and he rubbed it furiously, ignoring the stinging. He plunged the squeegee back into the now tepid water and climbed back up the ladder. Despite the cold of the late December day, he’d stripped down to just a short-sleeved t-shirt. For the past two hours, he had been furiously cleaning the outside of the village hall. The New Year’s Eve party was fast approaching and in just a few days’ time, the local news crew would return for a follow-up feature on the hall and adjoining clock tower. It felt like the last-ditch attempt to prove to the council that the hall was a hub of the community and that by turning it into flats they’d be destroying a piece of local history. A list of jobs had been drawn up and messaged out in a group chat late the night before in preparation for the party and this morning he had chosen this one: not because he had a particular penchant for window cleaning but because it was the only job he could do alone. And he was doing anything he could right now to stay out of Millie’s way.
Yesterday evening had been frustrating, bizarre, concerning…all the emotions rolled into one. He had been so eagerly anticipating Millie’s return, praying that she had decided about them potentially giving things a go. They’d texted on and off during the Christmas break, mostly light conversation, but the connection had remained. Since yesterday evening, he’d felt ridiculously distant from her. He’d known there had been an ex-boyfriend but from the little she’d said about him thought he’d been a total dickhead, and they were completely over. Then without warning, this same dickhead guy is outside Rosemary Cottage, sat there like he owns the place saying he’s looking for Millie because they have “unfinished business.” To say it had been a total shock was an understatement.
The guy clearly couldn’t be trusted. The way Millie’s whole demeanour changed as soon as she saw him, the expression on her face; it all spoke a thousand words. Sure, most people wouldn’t break into song and dance upon seeing their ex, but they wouldn’t necessarily behave the way she had either. There was definitely more to their past relationship than Millie had let on. He had been so reluctant to leave last night, sensing her discomfort. An overwhelming urge to stay and protect her had washed over him and it had taken every ounce of strength for him to leave.
Navigating the wiper down the last stretch of window, he hooked it back into his tool-belt and paused at the top for a moment. It wasn’t ridiculously high but when he turned his head back, he could survey the entire village square. It was a hive of activity, unusually so for this no-mans-land part of the year between Christmas and New Year. But the New Year’s Eve party and the mission to protect their local buildings had breathed new life into the village community. He could see some people from the local craft group bringing some newly made decorations into the hall, ready to be hung on the day. The pub was bustling with people, all no doubt chattering excitedly about the party – just at that moment he heard a group of young girls going past discussing what they were going to wear. He smiled to himself. He wished that was his only concern right now. In truth, he wasn’t even sure if he was going to go to the party.
“Oh my God, it’s James Dean up a ladder!” He closed his eyes and grinned before looking down. Stood looking up at him was Daisy, hands on hips. Her hair in two plaits hanging down to the faintest hint of a bump beginning to grow.
“I wish,” he called back, wiping his hands on his jeans and making his way back down the ladder. He reached the bottom and swept a hand through his hair, forehead glistening with sweat. Daisy surveyed him.
“Although I’m not so sure James Dean would’ve broken a sweat washing some windows?” she teased, eyebrows raised. He swiped her arm gently with his hand.
“In fairness, I don’t think you’d have found him washing windows at all. It’s not very “movie star” is it?” he replied, and they laughed. Out the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar face coming across the square towards the pub. The man looked his way and raised his chin slightly in acknowledgement but then continued onwards towards the pub, disappearing inside. Alfie’s jaw tensed. That man gave him a seriously bad feeling.
“Who was that ?” Daisy asked inquisitively, peering after where Alfie was looking. He paused, wondering if it was his place to explain.
“That…was Millie’s ex-boyfriend. Sam.” A look of surprise registered on her face.
“Ah, so that’s the mystery ex is it? Interesting...” Alfie looked at her, confused.
“Why is it interesting?”
“Well, I’d heard through the grapevine that he was here. Just hadn’t seen him before and didn’t really know what to expect.” They stayed in silence for a moment before she spoke again.
“Right, I’d better be off. I’ve got a midwife appointment in Truro this afternoon.”
“Everything OK?” Alfie asked, an edge of concern to his voice. Daisy smiled.
“Yes, everything’s great. It’s just a routine appointment,” she explained, her hands instinctively smoothing over the raised area underneath her dungarees.
After they’d said their goodbyes, Alfie gathered up the window cleaning equipment and tucked it away inside the porch to the village hall, where Ray would collect it later. He was just about to step out of the porch and stride back across the square to his apartment when Millie caught his eye coming down the lane in the distance. He ducked immediately back into the porch, so he was out of sight but peered round the corner to see where she was going. She was alone, thick scarf wound several times around her neck, hiding the bottom half of her face. She was wearing her smart ankle boots with a long, padded coat for warmth and her hair was tied up in a messy bun. Alfie couldn’t help but feel the ongoing attraction towards her more deeply, despite knowing that she very likely wasn’t coming down to see him. Her head turned towards the hall as she neared and he tucked his head back in, before cursing himself. This was ridiculous. They were both grown adults. And in truth, he was desperate to talk to her: to find out how her break away had been, see if she was OK, find out what was really going on with this Sam guy who he didn’t trust as far as he could throw him. He decided to stop being so silly and stepped out from his cover to go over to her, just as he saw her back disappearing into the pub. There was no guessing who she was going to meet. He’d missed his chance.
* * *
The reaction to Sam’s arrival had been a mixed one. This was clear from the reception Millie had received when she’d entered the pub the following day. She could sense people talking about her as she made her way over to the occupied table next to the blazing fire. For a village like Sandyhaven, this was news . Any new information travelled like wildfire, with it mostly being passed on multiple times and becoming warped all out of proportion or being totally stripped of its truth. Who knew what people were saying and whether it reflected reality.
In fairness, Millie wasn’t even sure what was going on. Sam had only been in the cottage ten minutes after Alfie left before she’d asked him to leave. She felt completely suffocated, as though her entire face had been wrapped in cotton wool and then doused in water. The plan she’d so intricately mapped out in her head for how that evening would go had dissipated in a heartbeat and this new scenario was a completely unprecedented one. She couldn’t stop envisioning Alfie in her mind either, the sheer distaste on his face when she’d entered the cottage yesterday evening.
She’d rung Jenny immediately after Sam had left to go back to his B casual but having clearly been styled. His brown eyes were as intriguing as before. There was no doubt Millie still felt physically attracted to him. After all, she hadn’t fallen out of love with his looks.
Her cheeks burned pink when she realised she’d been staring too intently and that he’d clearly noticed too. The slight turn off with Sam had always been that he knew he was attractive. Millie never thought she was unattractive as such but had always felt slightly inferior to him in the “looks” department. She was just a plain, ordinary girl. She didn’t live at the gym or drink healthy smoothies in fancy looking glasses or get her eyebrows and nails done like the majority of women in London do.
Like Amelia did.
Desperate to shift the sudden intensity of the atmosphere, Millie completely surprised herself with the straightforwardness of her next question.
“What’s the deal, Sam? Why are you here?” He raised his eyebrows and slumped back in his chair.
“Jeez Mills. An arrow to the heart!” he mocked clutching his chest, but the smile wiped from his face when he realised she was being deadly serious. “I’m here because I came to see you,” he said, as if it was obvious. Millie blinked a few times. Was he living in some alternate universe to her?
“We broke up. You cheated on me,” she stated. She could’ve sworn a lull in conversation flew around the pub at that moment and scolded herself for being so loud. Sam leaned in closer.
“Millie, I know you’re still upset. I understand why you are, don’t get me wrong. I fucked up, big time. But we were so good together, you can’t deny that?” He reached his hand across the table and clutched hers and Millie snatched it away immediately. Sam’s face registered confusion and hurt.
“What is it?” She looked into his eyes and felt tears spring in her own. Suddenly, the noise seemed deafening, the air felt void of oxygen, and she needed to get out.
Scrabbling to collect her bag and phone as quickly as possible, she pushed back her chair causing the most hideous scraping sound on the stone floor that seemed to continue ringing in her ears as she exited. The cold air took her breath away as she raced outside and since they’d been inside, a thin drizzle had begun falling. She rubbed her eyes furiously; annoyed at the fact she’d started to cry. Thankfully, the square was now quiet.
She felt a hand touch her shoulder and then pull away and turned to see Sam in-front of her. Out here in the dim daylight, he looked less intense than he had in the claustrophobic setting of the pub. His features seemed…softer, somehow.
“I didn’t mean to overstep the mark,” he said quietly. “I just…I came all the way down from London to be here and see you and I was just so excited when I did see you and…I guess seeing you again looking so unbelievably gorgeous I just…I lost a bit of control.” Millie’s insides stirred a little at him calling her gorgeous. His smile reignited a spark which she had long stamped on and tried to forget. He stared deep into her eyes.
“I know you still feel it too Millie. I know you better than anyone.” He slowly lifted his hand close to her face and paused, as if waiting for her to confirm it was OK this time. She gave a small smile back and he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand so delicately it almost made her shiver.
“Look, take a breather, yeah? Let’s meet again later, say, for dinner? Only if you’re comfortable with that?” Before she could fully consider her answer, she gave a small nod.
“There’s no restaurant to eat at here apart from the pub,” she replied.
“Then we’ll go somewhere further afield. It’ll be good to get out of here for a bit anyway. Go somewhere it can just be us.” He smiled his heart-melting smile again and she returned it.
He turned to stride back towards the road which winds up to the farm B she was certain she was the only one Millie had told she was going to dinner with Sam.
“Alf! I thought you’d ticked off your to-do for the party with your window cleaning?” Daisy asked, breaking the silence, much to the relief of everyone else in the room. He pulled off his plaid jacket and laid it across everyone else’s coats, running a hand through his hair.
“Yeah, well. I had a spare hour so thought I’d pop across and see if there was anything else I could do to help?” he replied. “Is there?”
“To be honest,” Amy replied, standing up and brushing down her legs. “We’re pretty much done.” He watched as they tied knots in bin bags and placed cleaning implements back into the cupboard, feeling like a spare part but relieved to not just be stuck in his flat. He’d spent the morning pacing around like a caged lion, constantly peeking down below to see if there was any activity from Millie or Sam. He hadn’t seen them since yesterday lunchtime when they’d locked eyes and she’d scurried off, like she couldn’t wait to be any further away. He’d also witnessed that slime of a man caressing her cheek, ]=and it had made him want to race down there, wrench him away and threaten him never to come near her again.
But what right did he really have to do that? He and Millie weren’t together, and they never had been. It killed him to admit it, but this Sam would know Millie better than he currently did. He had spent infinitely more time with her. He’d shared endless more memories with her. He’d know her in ways that Alfie could currently only dream about. Yet he felt so protective over her, and he knew that anyone who had the sheer insanity and gall to cheat on her did not deserve to be stood down there yesterday stroking her face. It made him rage just thinking about it.
The group gathered up their coats and said their respective goodbyes to Alfie, knowing they probably wouldn’t see each other again until the night of the party. He still hadn’t decided if he would be going to the party.
He waited around for Amy who was the last to leave. Just as she was about to leave, he caught her arm.
“Have you heard from her?” Amy glanced down at Alfie’s hand on her arm and her expression softened into a sympathetic one. She covered his hand with hers and replied:
“Not today, Alf.” He couldn’t stand that she was feeling sorry for him, but he felt desperate.
“What about last night? What happened last night?” She paused, swallowing.
“They…they went out for something to eat. In Truro.” He hesitated.
“And then…?”
“I’m not entirely sure.” She shot him another sorrowful look and gently patted his hand before removing it from her arm.
“Talk to her Alf. It’s the only way you’re going to sort this out.” She placed a small kiss on his forehead before throwing her bag over her shoulder and leaving him alone in the empty hall.