Chapter 1
Abram—Present day
Della’s home was oddly quiet when I arrived. Haden was with Cassius and Ezra doing gods know what, so I thought I’d pop in and apologize for my ridiculous behavior a few weeks ago, when I’d tossed Elowyn over my shoulder and left Della's party.
Gods, I smiled when I remembered how pissed off Elowyn had been. She had backed me into a wall and wagged her finger in my face, telling me how big of an asshole I was. But I couldn’t help being drawn to how pretty she looked when she was furious.
It was supposed to be easy to forget Elowyn if I didn’t have to be near her. But no, Della just had to become friends with her. Now she was everywhere I was. She was haunting me, or the fates were mocking me with the woman I desperately wanted.
I dragged my hand down my face.
“What’s eating you alive?” Ezra’s voice had me twisting around to see him grinning like he knew something. “Perhaps it’s the news of your little witch girlfriend getting married?”
My body immediately stiffened, and my jaw clenched. Ezra’s smile faded when my eyes began to glow red.
He stepped back.
Married.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked. “You'd better not be talking about Elowyn.”
Ezra threw his hands up as if I were about to murder him. Maybe I would if he didn’t start talking.
“You’d better form some sort of response, Ezra, before I lose my manners.”
“Fuck, I thought you knew.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s at Cassius and Thea’s house with us, getting ready for some marriage thing with her coven. I just came here to grab something for Della.” He held up a fancy-looking dress.
I didn’t wait for him to say another word. My star mist wrapped around me, and when it vanished, I was in the living space of Thea and Cassius’ home.
Cassius held his son, future king of Crimson, in his arms as the baby slept. His face fell when he saw me. He glanced around like he was going to need reinforcements to hold me back. I needed to calm down, but I was pissed beyond reason.
“You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said.
“Abe, you should probably take a deep breath or some shit,” Haden added, standing up from the couch while cradling Cassius’ daughter, Bayla, future queen of the blood witches. “Do we need to put the babies down and restrain you?” he asked half-jokingly.
Both of them turned their glares to Ezra as he appeared next to me. My gaze flickered around, searching for Elowyn, but she was nowhere in sight. I could feel her presence though.
“Ezra—” Della’s voice cut off when she saw me. “Brim.”
Her eyes widened as she looked at everyone to see if they were going to hold me back if I lost it.
“Don’t,” I hissed. “Where is she?”
“Getting ready.” Della stared at me intently, daring me to say why I was so upset.
Fuck. I didn’t even know why I was.
“She’s getting married? Was she not single two weeks ago at your fucking party?”
Della’s gaze shifted to Haden, Cassius, and Ezra. “Big mouths.”
“It was Ezra,” Haden tattled.
“Thanks a lot,” Ezra muttered, narrowing his eyes at him.
My gaze was drawn to the movement behind Della, and my mouth fell open when I saw Elowyn all dressed up. She was wearing a stunning red dress that showed far too much skin. If I were the only one looking at her, it would’ve been perfect—but for another man? I didn’t fucking think so.
Her face wore only a subtle touch of makeup, unnecessary, but it sharpened her eyes and softened her lips. My fingernails dug into my palms as I fought every urge to kidnap her.
“Abram?” Elowyn looked startled when she realized I was there. “Is something wrong?”
My mouth snapped shut when Della gave me a smug smile. I glanced at everyone watching us and instantly felt the need to protect these sinful feelings. This didn’t matter. She’d get married, and I’d forget she ever existed. This was great for me.
“No.” I walked over and took baby Bayla from Haden so I could rock her.
One thing Mikel and I shared—we loved children. I was excited to have my own one day. First, I needed to find my damn mate. I could feel Elowyn’s eyes on me, but I ignored her and rocked gently. Bayla immediately calmed, and Cassius let out a relieved sigh.
“Here’s the other dress,” Ezra said, handing it to Della.
“Thanks,” Della sighed.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her adjusting the dress Elowyn wore. Elowyn turned, and my head followed when I saw her entire back was exposed.
Her smooth, pale skin was marked with a large black tattoo of a woman’s face. Half was beautiful, crowned with flowers; the other half skeletal and decayed. The flowers had withered. I had seen the symbol before and knew it carried meaning tied to life and death.
Gods, it was a beautiful piece of artwork. One I wouldn’t mind tracing with my fingers. I swallowed hard and looked away. Unfortunately, Ezra was right in my line of sight, smiling like an idiot.
When I glared at him, he didn’t cower. His grin only widened, mocking what everyone could see. I was barely holding it together.
I looked down at Bayla. Her big green-gold eyes stared up at me. Her future played out before me in a flash, and I smiled.
“You’re going to do great things, Bayla,” I whispered so only she could hear.
“I think this one is perfect, El,” Della said with a smile. “It makes you look elegant.”
Elowyn’s eyes found mine over Della’s shoulder, but she looked away the second she saw me watching. Her hands ran over the thin fabric of the dress before she nodded. My eyes roamed over all the tattoos on her skin. I had never seen this much of her before and my greedy eyes couldn't look away.
I stared far longer than deemed appropriate.
“You’re right. This is perfect.”
Her dark hair was pulled into a fancy updo, with two curls framing her face.
Someone moved in front of me, and I glanced up to see Thea. She smiled down at her daughter, then looked at me. Gods, I hadn’t even heard her come up because I was too distracted by Elowyn.
“You got her to calm down,” Thea whispered. “Did you use some sort of magic or something?”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “No. No magic. She probably just likes being rocked like this.”
But my focus moved back to Elowyn.
“I feel sick,” Elowyn whispered to Della. “I really don’t want to do this.”
Della pulled her into a hug. When she pulled back, she whispered something I couldn’t hear. Elowyn glanced at me again at whatever Della said before she looked away disappointed.
“I’ll be back,” Della said, not looking at us.
As her star mist vanished with Elowyn, everyone’s eyes shifted to me at once.
Thea took Bayla from my arms like I was about to explode.
They were waiting for me to say something, but I wasn’t about to start that conversation. I just kept rocking in the chair as if it would soothe me, saying nothing. This was fine. I didn’t need to know anything about Elowyn getting married. It wasn’t my place. She wasn’t mine to worry about.
I was a godsdamn liar.
The need to know burned deep in my chest, but I ignored it as best I could. There was no reason I needed to know. My hands gripped the arm of the chair as I tried to keep myself together. I looked out the window trying to distract myself, but I was a fraying rope about to snap.
“Are you trying to play it cool right now?” Ezra asked with a grin. “Because you’re doing a terrible job at it. Do you want us to tell you—”
“No,” I snapped. His observant remark cutting too deep.
Fuck. I wanted to take that back, but I’d already said it.
“Are you sure? Because your eyes are red,” he said, still grinning.
“It has nothing to do with that witch,” I lied. “I’m just stressed out about finding my mate.”
It was odd I hadn’t found her yet. Ardella and Mikel had. Shouldn’t we get our mates around the same time, being triplets?
“Maybe it’s Elowyn,” Haden suggested.
My cold glare turned on him, and everyone visibly shrunk down from me. Gods, I could feel my fury in the room. This is what she did to me, made me lose myself and my control.
“It’s not,” I sighed. “We don’t have a bond.”
“So maybe it needs time to snap into place,” he added.
I shook my head. “No. Old gods don’t have to wait. We see the bond immediately.”
Haden nodded slowly, eyeing me like I was some sort of mystery.
“Well, that’s good that you don’t care,” Cassius said casually, “since she’s looking for a husband.”
All of them stared straight through my composure, and I hated that they could see me falling apart.
“I wish her nothing but the best in her search,” I said, forcing a smile.
Della reappeared, suddenly standing in front of me. She didn’t speak, just used her star mist to transport us to my secluded home in the woods.
It was far different from the shack I hid in for years as Brim, but the seclusion was the same. I liked that.
We landed in the living space. As her magic faded, I gave her a look to show I wasn’t impressed with being made to leave.
She crossed her arms.
“Are you sure you don’t care about Elowyn?” Her star-colored eyes watched me closely.
“I’m sure.” I didn’t hesitate.
“Are you sure she isn’t your mate?” she asked. “Her coven is requiring her to marry to maintain her crown. Once a queen reaches a certain age, there are duties she has to fulfill. The first is marriage.”
I didn’t care.
“I hope she finds a nice guy.”
Della let out an exaggerated breath. “Fine. I’ll drop it.”
“She isn’t my mate. I shouldn’t care, Della.” I met her gaze. “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t save myself for my mate? My mate deserves all of my firsts—not my seconds because I thought some witch was pretty.”
Della’s eyes found mine. This was the closest I had ever come to admitting anything.
“You shouldn’t think she’s pretty,” Della countered.
“I know. I’m convinced it’s an aftereffect of Malamay and Diath’s scheming, causing an imbalance in the realm.”
Della considered that for a moment before nodding.
“I understand. Don’t worry, you’ll find your mate soon enough. I can feel it.”
I hoped so. Because every time I saw Elowyn, it was getting harder to control these feelings.
Della pulled me into a hug.
“But if you do care, her coven is hosting a gathering tonight so she can meet suitors,” she whispered.
The unforgiving sting of jealousy buzzed through me. This was fine, and I wasn’t bothered by it in the slightest. Della gave me a small smile before her magic wrapped around her and she left my home.
I closed my eyes tightly, willing the sensation to pass. When I opened them, I was certain I had heard someone whisper Elowyn’s name.
I was losing my mind.
I waited for it to happen again, but silence settled in around me. I looked through the empty space, and not for the first time, wondered what it would feel like to come home to Elowyn instead.