Chapter 7 #2
Tears pricked my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
I sat up and stared at the smoldering fire as I blinked rapidly.
The silence was strangling me as I sat on the couch waiting for Abram to come out.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed before I finally stood up.
I dressed so that I was appropriate for walking around—covered completely.
My gaze drifted toward the bedroom door and frowned. I checked on our dinner to help take my mind off what happened. I dished up our plates and took a deep breath as I knocked. It was silent for a moment.
“Abram?” I called out. “Dinner is ready.”
It was silent, and I thought he might ignore me. My chest tightened at the possibility.
“I’m not hungry anymore,” he answered.
Those damn tears filled my eyes again, and this time I let them fall. My throat ached.
“Oh, okay.”
I set the plates on the counter and stared at it. My attention moved around the house. What was I doing here? I had forced this on Abram, and I should be able to understand when I wasn’t wanted somewhere. The realization hollowed me out. I stared at the plates of food. I didn't belong here.
I shouldn’t have forced living here on him.
Without thinking, I grabbed my bag and began filling it with everything I had brought.
My fingers shook as I packed. I stared at the wooden lily he gave me but set it back on the shelf with his other things.
This marriage wasn’t real and neither was a marriage gift.
That thought broke something small and stubborn inside me.
I grabbed my bag and turned to leave. I glanced toward his door once more, steeling myself. Then I left.
I closed the door quietly, lifted my hood, and started walking through the woods toward the coven.
It was dark, but the moon was bright enough to light my path.
I let the tears sting my eyes as the cold night air bit at my skin.
Rain soaked me quickly, but I didn’t care.
It almost felt like the world wanted to wash me clean of him.
Gods, I felt so embarrassed that I made him so uncomfortable. I shook my head, hoping to get rid of the image of disappointment on his face when he realized it was me he was lying next to.
It took me over an hour to get home, if I could even call it that. My feet ached, and my cloak clung to me like a second skin.
When the house finally came into view, dread filled me.
I wondered if anywhere would feel like a home.
Shit, at this point I would take any place that I felt welcomed.
There were lights on as I pushed the front door open.
As I stepped inside, everybody stopped what they were doing, and they all stared at me with a look of annoyance because I was back.
“Why are you here?” Lydia asked.
I looked at them. My heart twisted in defiance.
“I’m your queen. I don’t answer to you,” I snapped.
They all looked taken aback because I had never stuck up for myself before. The shock on their faces gave me a hollow sense of victory. I headed up the stairs but stopped when Lydia spoke again.
“Your husband already doesn’t want you?” she chuckled.
The rest of them joined her, and I felt the weight of her words like a knife. Every laugh was another slice.
“He is traveling for work, and I didn’t want to go with him,” I lied. The words scraped my throat raw.
I heard their whispers, but I ignored them as I went into my bedroom and closed the door, my head resting on it as hot tears slid down my cheeks.
I dropped my bag on the floor and let the weight of what happened with Abram sink into me.
He would be relieved that I was gone, and I’d find a way to break the marriage bond so we didn't have to be near each other ever again.
I locked the door and sank onto the edge of my bed, my hands shaking in my lap. I lay back and stared at the ceiling, but sleep was impossible. After a moment, I sat up and looked at the spell book that had sealed my fate. When I picked it up, it hummed softly, alive against my skin.
I flipped through the pages until I found the binding. The final lines detailed how it could be undone, but only with Abram present. My chest tightened as the realization settled in.
“What are you doing?” Abram’s voice suddenly came from next to the bed.
I jumped and turned around, but I shrank back instantly at what I saw. Abram had appeared, and he was furious. His presence filled the room like a storm ready to strike. His magic coiled close to his body, restrained but seething.
“Reading how to break the marriage spell,” I answered.
Abram flinched back as if I had slapped him before yanking the book from my hands and throwing it across the room. The sound made me jump. I didn’t need the book to break it. His chest rose and fell quickly.
“Why?” he asked. “I didn’t say I wanted to end the marriage.”
I didn’t know what to say. My lips parted, but nothing came out.
“Why are you here?” I kept my voice even so he wouldn’t know how worried I was.
He stared at me oddly before tilting his head slightly. The anger in his eyes softened just a little.
“My wife disappears in the night with all of her belongings, and you think I wouldn’t be worried?”
I wanted his words to mean something, but they didn’t, not really.
“No. I thought you’d find relief in my absence.” I lifted my chin in defiance.
Abram’s pretty green eyes narrowed on me, and I shrank under the surge of power radiating from him. Clearly, my answer had offended him.
“Did I ask you to leave?”
“No.” I shook my head softly.
“If I didn’t want you in our home, I would tell you.”
Our home. I scoffed. The words didn’t feel right.
“What?” he snapped.
“It’s your home, not our home. I sleep on the godsdamn couch for fuck's sake.”
His nostrils flared at my comment. The tension between us thickened.
“Leave,” I told him as I turned my back to him.
“You’re my wife. I’m not leaving without you.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder with a glare.
“Well, I’m only your fake wife, so I think you’ll be fine if I don’t come back.”
Abram had always pushed my buttons. Before I could even object, Abram leaned down, grabbing me, and tossing me over his shoulder, and picked up my bag.
“Put me down,” I demanded.
“I will when we are in our home,” he hissed right back.
This bastard. My hands clenched against his back.
I didn’t say a word as his magic wrapped around us. The sensation of moving through it made me feel sick. My eyes closed, and when I opened them, I already knew that we were back at his house. It smelled of him—night and smoke.
He slid me down the length of his body so I was facing him.
I would not let myself be smitten by him again.
My walls were up, and to make sure he understood that, I shoved away from him.
That was when I realized we were in his bedroom.
I looked away from the bed as if it were a reminder that he never wanted me in it.
“You will stay in here,” he said softly. He dropped my bag on the floor.
I didn’t say anything at first, but then he stepped toward me like he might reach for me, and I moved away from his touch. He frowned slightly but shoved his hands into his pockets.
“I’ll take the couch. You can save your bed for your real wife.”
I scoffed as I grabbed my bag and moved out of that suffocating space.
Our food was no longer on the plates. The pot was on the stove, warming up.
The smell was intoxicating, but I wasn’t hungry.
I tossed my bag on the floor and slid my boots off.
Abram’s angry steps slammed against the floor as he followed me.
“Do I need to apologize?” he asked.
I glanced up at him. My chest tightened.
“No.” I looked away from him.
Just the sight of him made me feel ill with embarrassment.
“I was rude.” He tried again.
“You’re always rude to me, Abram. I’m used to it. You should’ve just let me go back to the coven and break this marriage spell.”
He moved so fast I didn’t have time to react. He leaned over me and glared like I had said the worst thing I possibly could to him. His eyes roamed over my face slowly like he had so many things he wanted to say.
“I’m sorry. It just caught me off guard to wake up like that.”
“And it was my fault.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I overreacted. I won’t do that again,” he promised.
I shrugged and looked down. My throat felt tight again.
“I don’t care, Abram,” I said, even though my chest said otherwise. “We won’t ever be in that position again. So just… drop it.”
He pulled back and stared at me. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, then thought better of it. He looked at the kitchen and back to me.
“Are you hungry? I can dish up our—”
“No.”
I wished he would just leave me alone.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“You’re forgiven.”
His jaw tightened like he wanted to say something else. “I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
I stood up and grabbed the blanket off the rocking chair.
He was watching me, but I didn’t give him a second glance.
I needed to remember that this wasn’t ever going to be real.
Abram had known me for hundreds of years, and he had never once given me the impression that he saw me as anything other than a pain in his ass.
So I would lie low. I would be cordial until the crowning, and I could leave. We wouldn't have to see each other again until he found his mate. We were roommates for now, nothing more. But this stupid crush on Abram had never gone away, no matter how much I tried.
I lay down, not wanting to change while he was standing there staring at me. I covered myself and closed my eyes.
He stood in his spot for too long before he walked to the kitchen.
I heard him doing something with the food, but I didn’t look.
My focus moved to the window where the bright white moon mocked me.
How many nights had I prayed that Abram would want me back?
How many nights had I convinced myself that he might care for me too, because he was the only man I ever had eyes for?
The moon had given me what I wanted… but in such a cruel way that it felt like punishment. I was Abram’s wife, but he couldn’t even stand my touch, didn’t want it. I was living in his home, only to be reminded that he built it for a wife that wasn’t me.
He didn’t want anything like that with me.