Chapter 17 #2
Abram’s eyes filled with tears as I shattered right in front of him. I saw the war inside him—pain, confusion, something deeper he couldn’t grasp—but it didn’t matter. It didn’t change the knife twisting in my chest.
“I… I need time to think,” he said softly, his voice breaking. “My mind is still foggy.”
Silent tears slid down his face as I wiped my own, my hands trembling. Everyone stared at me like they pitied me.
My own parents hadn’t wanted me. My coven couldn’t wait to cast me aside. And now him.
Quickly, before my knees gave out, I turned and headed for the woods, letting the darkness swallow me as I fled. Abram’s fingers curled around my wrist, pulling me back.
“I feel so stupid.”
The words had trembled out of me, raw and humiliating.
I couldn’t even look at him. My gaze dropped to the ground because it felt wrong to meet his eyes now, like something sacred had been severed and I no longer had the right.
He had a mate. A real mate. And I was nothing but the girl who believed in something that never belonged to her.
“No, you aren’t.”
He sounded desperate, frantic almost, like he felt me slipping. But I couldn’t stay there under his grip, under his pity. I ripped my arms from him, needing distance before I broke entirely.
“Yes, I am. I thought I was your mate.”
The confession burned its way out of me. A truth I had buried so deep because voicing it meant admitting how completely I had given myself to him.
“I truly thought Thomas was wrong.”
His face fell.
“I thought that a bond would snap into place if we were around each other long enough. That you would fall in love with me, that you would see how perfect we are together. I wanted you to love me back,” I said so quietly I wasn’t sure if my voice even carried.
But the way his face shifted told me he heard every single word. He grabbed my arm.
"I love you." I cried softly.
“Elowyn…”
My name fell from his lips drenched in pity, and gods, that hurt worse than anything. Pity was for the foolish. For the na?ve. For the girl who didn’t understand her place.
I hated myself for thinking something so stupid. For believing I could ever be enough for a god.
“I didn’t go and seek Loma out. Please,” he stepped forward toward me. “I didn’t ask for this. I swear I would never do that to you.”
The reminder landed like a blow to the ribs, something sharp, something meant to be gentle but still broke something inside me. The words echoed in my chest, rattling through the pieces of what I thought we were.
And the worst part? He wasn’t wrong. He never lied. I was the one who built a future out of hope he never promised me.
“I thought he was wrong. The moon sent you to me. I am cursed to not know who my mate is, so I thought when you showed up, that it was fate telling me.” I looked up at him.
Abram swallowed hard as he stared at me.
“My curse is unfolding in front of me. I fell in love with you just for fate to take you away from me.”
Abram’s shoulders fell as he looked defeated. Suddenly, Nyxthra appeared behind him in a cloud of shadows, her form rising like smoke with teeth. Her eyes snapped straight to mine, cold and ancient and furious, and the world around us thinned.
Leave, she told me.
Her voice wasn’t sound. It was pressure inside my skull, pushing, twisting, trying to pry me away from him. But if I left, if I turned my back now, I would lose him forever.
He is not yours, she hissed.
"Nyxthra, please help me." I begged her.
Abram's mouth fell open at my plea.
Her power pulsed outward in a violent ripple that lifted the hair off my shoulders and sent dust spiraling across the ground. My breath caught as her darkness wrapped around me, sinking its teeth into the edges of my mind.
My eyes clouded black. I could feel her digging her claws into my thoughts, dragging herself up through my ribs like she wanted to wear my skin for me.
My veins pulsed with her power, streaking black beneath my flesh as she tried to take over—tried to shield me from this heartbreak the only way she knew how.
By erasing me.
“Elowyn, don't do this. I think we both need to take the night to process what is happening.”
I scoffed, the sound cracking like lightning. “You found your mate, and you completely forgot about me within a span of hours. There is nothing to process.”
“Please, there is so much to talk about.” He stepped closer to me. “We can talk in the morning. I will still go to the coven with you and make this right.”
It had been well over an hour. It was too late. Too godsdamn late. Add it to the list of shit taken from me in my life.
Something inside me twisted. My breathing came harsh and uneven as Nyxthra’s power surged through my veins, staining them darker, making my teeth ache, making my hands shake with the urge to destroy something. Someone. Him.
I stared at him, at the man I loved, the man who forgot me like I was nothing, and the realization hit me like a blade sliding between my ribs.
This was my fault. I let it get this far. I let myself believe in something I was never meant to have. Greedy. Just like my mother. The same disgusting sickness my mother left in me.
Abram looked devastated as he watched me unravel. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve my fury… but gods, I couldn’t stop it. Nyxthra wouldn’t let me.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks, anger shaking through me like a storm. “You said you would stick by me until you met your mate, and you met her.”
“El, please.” He took another step toward me.
I couldn’t stand the sound of my name in his mouth. I couldn’t stand being close to him when he wasn’t mine.
I reached forward and gripped the coven key on the chain around his neck, yanking it so hard it snapped free. His breath hitched.
“What are you doing?” he said, panicked.
Nyxthra’s shadows swirled around my feet, rising up my back like wings.
“I, Elowyn Ashgrave, release you, Abram, God of Fates, from this marriage. May all ties be severed, and may the moon goddess forgive me for not accepting her gift.”
Pain lanced through me, hot and sharp, as my marriage bond cracked and tore. I groaned as it snapped clean.
“No.” Abram grabbed my arm. “Stop it. I didn’t say I wanted a divorce.”
“You were never mine to keep. You made that abundantly clear.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he demanded.
His voice shook.
“My coven thinks I made you up because you refused to come to even one event with me. I was good enough for you behind closed doors where no one else could see us, but you were too embarrassed to even speak a word to me in public. The signs that you were not my mate were there, but I loved you enough that I wanted them to be wrong. I thought if I loved you enough that it would change fate.”
Let him feel it. Make him burn. My chest heaved with a combination of grief and rage, and it made my voice sharper, colder.
“Please, take it back. I did not say I wanted a divorce.” He frowned.
“What are you going to do, Abram? Have me and your mate? I get you on weekdays, and she can have the weekends?”
His eyes flickered with guilt, and for a brief moment, hope tried to rise in my chest, but Nyxthra twisted it into anger.
“I need time to figure out what is going on.”
"Reject our marriage bond." I told him.
"No." His jaw tightened.
I glanced over his shoulder at everyone staring.
Nyxthra hissed in my mind. They watch. Make them see what he took from you.
The thought flitted through me, and I knew asking would only hurt my feelings—but maybe that pain was what I needed.
I needed him to tear me apart so I could finally be strong enough to leave for good.
“Did you tell any of them that we were married?” I asked, my voice shaking.
He licked his lips, eyes closing for a beat, and then whispered, “No.”
I pulled my arm from his grip and stepped away. Each step burned through my chest, ripping me open, but Nyxthra fed on it, making me fierce.
I watched him as I lifted my hand and pulled off the wooden ring he had carved for me.
“Stop,” he whispered, but the plea only stoked the fire in me.
I tossed it at his feet, letting it clatter like a verdict.
Then I grabbed the amulet and went to our home.
When I got there, I ripped my clothes from the drawers and stuffed them in a bag.
Tears streamed down my face, each one bitter with heartbreak, each one feeding Nyxthra’s hunger for vengeance.
Everything I knew, everything I wanted, was being ripped away, and I let my anger roar.
“No.” Abram stormed in, his hands snatching clothes from the bag, trying to fix what was already shattered.
I shoved him away, ripping my belongings back, my heart hammering, my hands trembling with fury.
“Move,” I demanded, my voice low, hard, and edged with something darker—Nyxthra’s anger echoing mine.
Let him feel what he made you feel, she whispered, her voice sharp enough to cut.
“Don’t disappear,” he pleaded. “Stay until the morning so we can talk. I will go make everything right with the coven tomorrow. I promise.”
Nyxthra snarled in my skull, and the fury slipped out before I could stop it. “Your promises mean shit to me.”
He jerked back as if I’d actually struck him, and Nyxthra purred with satisfaction.
“And you aren’t my husband, so there is nothing you can do.”
Abe grabbed my arms and pressed me into the wall with his body. Shadows flared in my peripheral vision as Nyxthra surged forward, ready to rip him off me.
“Stop saying that,” he demanded. He grabbed my finger and forced the ring back on it. “I did not agree to the divorce. You are my wife.”
He tried to kiss me, but I turned my head so sharply Nyxthra hissed approval.
“Ex-wife.”
“Damn it!” he yelled. “I am trying to figure this out, El, but you have to meet me halfway.”