Chapter 18
Abram
Icould hear her crying softly from the bedroom. I’d only made it two steps from the door before her quiet sob froze me in place. Part of me wanted to turn around and comfort her, but the other part knew she was right. I wasn’t supposed to want her. She was never supposed to be mine.
So why couldn’t I let her go? My mating bond should have made me not care that she showed up to dinner and saw me with Loma.
I shouldn’t have felt relief and happiness when she said she loved me.
I should have let her walk away. I told myself that over and over, like repetition might make it true.
But the thoughts alone burned at my chest. My soul didn't want to let Elowyn go.
I pressed my forehead to the door, breathing through the ache in my ribs. Her devastated face flashed behind my eyes, over and over, like my mind was punishing me for not stopping her. For not saying the right thing. For saying everything wrong.
I’d hurt her. I’d hurt her in front of everyone. I’d watched the light drain out of her eyes and still hadn’t known how to fix it.
I told myself I could fix it. That I could show her, prove to her, that she was all I wanted. But the words felt thin even in my own head. What if she didn’t believe me? What if I’d already destroyed something I couldn’t get back? What if it didn't matter what I said anymore?
I sat against the bedroom door so I’d wake up if she tried to leave.
Maybe some magical words would come to me through the night.
Words that could tell her how wrong this felt.
That the thought of her leaving me felt like I was dying.
I reached for the key to her coven around my neck but remembered she’d taken it from me.
I didn’t deserve it. Tears stung my eyes as her devastated face flashed in my mind again. Everyone in her life had let her down, and I swore I’d never be one of them… and still, somehow, I’d become the worst of them all.
I was a piece of shit.
How could I let myself lose track of time like that? I’d been so excited to go with her—to finally stand beside her and tell her coven that I was her husband.
It felt right to say. Too right. There was something primal in it, something possessive, a need to claim her so deep it made my veins buzz. And now that memory twisted in my chest, sharp and cruel, because I’d taken that moment from her without ever meaning to.
Are you that embarrassed of me?
Her words gutted me all over again.
I hated that she thought that. Hated that I’d made her question herself. I should have never let her doubt her worth—not for a second. And yet I had. Publicly. Completely.
How was I supposed to tell her that after knowing what it felt like to want her, I didn’t know how to love another woman?
That the thought of choosing anyone else felt wrong in a way I couldn’t explain?
Gods, I realized with sick clarity that I didn’t even care if Loma was hurt by this.
I didn't know her. I didn't have any desire to.
Elowyn’s muffled sobs punched the air from my lungs. I deserved to feel like this. So I stayed where I was and listened to her cry until she fell silent, because moving, because seeking comfort, felt like another crime.
I didn’t deserve peace. Not until I found a way to fix what I’d broken.
Fuck, my body ached as my eyes fluttered open. Confusion hit me hard as I woke up on the floor in front of our bedroom. Then the memories from last night came crashing back. I sat up, looking over my shoulder at the still-closed door. Pressing my ear against it, I listened for any movement inside.
Silence.
She had to be sleeping.
I pushed to my feet and moved through the quiet house, each step too loud in the stillness. I set a kettle on the stove and tried to make us a pot of tea, something warm, something steady, something normal, but my hands wouldn’t stop trembling.
The silence pressed in.
My throat tightened as I tried to rehearse the words I needed to say to her, but every sentence crumbled before it reached my lips. I kept glancing toward the bedroom door. Once. Twice. Every few seconds. Each look weighing heavier. Each heartbeat landing harder.
Something was wrong.
I could feel it, like something was missing in our home.
The sinking feeling in my gut finally swallowed me whole. I abandoned the tea, crossed the room in three strides, and shoved the bedroom door open.
Empty.
Damn it.
I walked in and knew immediately.
Her clothes were gone. Every last thing that belonged to her.
I glanced at the tiny window, my mind scrambling for explanations. Maybe she’d stepped over me while I slept in the hallway. Maybe I hadn’t felt it.
Then the memory hit me like a punch. The fucking amulet. Running my hand through my hair, panic coursed through me as I tried to figure out where she would go. The coven. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her ring sitting on the nightstand.
My heart stuttered painfully. I picked it up and slid it onto my pinky, the weight of it settling somewhere deep in my chest.
She didn’t get to leave without a word. My chest ached as I used my star mist to transport to the coven. I pounded on the front door until the weird dead guy answered, and I didn’t bother waiting for an invitation before storming inside to where the women stood in the living space.
My eyes scanned their faces, searching for El.
A blonde woman stepped forward. “Can we help you?”
“Yes.” My voice was already tight. “I was supposed to be here yesterday for Elowyn’s crowning. I missed it. I’m here to fix it, and I need to speak with my wife. Where is she?”
Her eyes widened. She glanced at the others, color draining from her face. My patience snapped.
“Your wife,” she finally stammered. “Elowyn isn’t here.”
“Did she come by?”
“Yes.” She stared at me. “You’re her husband?”
“Yes,” I snapped. “Why?”
A short brunette stepped forward. “She came this morning to relinquish her right to the coven as queen. Although…” She hesitated. “She lost the title last night when she never returned with you.”
“No.”
The word tore out of me, sharp and broken. Rage and heartbreak collided in my chest until it felt like something was splitting apart inside me. The weight of my failure crashed down all at once. She’d lost everything.
“She is the rightful queen,” I growled. “Give it back to her.”
The woman shook her head. “You don’t understand. She relinquished all ties. She left. She didn’t want to stay as a member of the coven.”
“You’re a god,” the blonde blurted.
I shot her an annoyed look.
“We all thought she lied about finding a husband,” she rushed on. “You never came to any of the functions with her.”
Guilt slammed into me. “I was busy.”
The brunette turned on the blonde. “I told you she wasn’t lying. And you still tried to make that deal with Jade.”
Every muscle in my body locked. I turned slowly back to the blonde, who visibly shrank under my stare.
“What deal with Jade?” I asked, my voice low and dangerous.
She swallowed. “Elowyn’s mother ruined us. Our lineage was dying. Jade offered a solution—but only if Elowyn was erased from the coven. No name. No ties. Gone. In exchange, she’d lift the curse on our fertility.”
My blood roared. I stepped toward her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Elowyn agreed it was the right choice,” the blonde said quickly. “She said she didn’t belong here anymore.”
My chest constricted. “Where is she?”
“She didn’t say.” The blonde frowned. “But she told us that if you came, we were supposed to tell you this—”
I stiffened.
“She said you’d never find her. That you should go be with your mate and not feel guilty. She wishes you nothing but the best.”
“No.” My voice was a snarl. “She can tell me that herself.”
I scanned their faces again, desperate now. “Does anyone know of family or friends she’d go to?”
They all shook their heads.
“She doesn’t have friends or family outside the coven. Well… besides her father, but she’d never go there.”
“Damn it,” I hissed, dragging a hand through my hair. “Does she have a favorite place, anywhere she might go? I am desperate.”
They all shook their heads again.
“If she comes back, you will trap her here and call for me—Abram, God of Fate.”
They nodded quickly as I used my magic to transport myself to Della’s house. As soon as my star mist disappeared, Della and Haden stood up from the couch.
“What the fuck is going on, Abram?” Della hissed. “What did you do to Elowyn?”
My throat tightened. “I broke her fucking heart,” I confessed, pressing my palms to my eyes. “She’s my wife.”
Della’s eyes flashed red. “You already married Loma?” she sneered.
“No, not Loma. Elowyn is my wife. We’ve been married for months.”
Her mouth fell open, her eyes fading back into their shimmering star-color. “Elowyn stopped by this morning,” she whispered, tears gathering. “She wanted to cash in the favor I owed her for storing the book.”
My chest tightened painfully, a sharp, squeezing pressure that made it hard to breathe. Dread seeped into every fiber of my body, cold and choking, until even my fingertips trembled. “What did she ask for?”
Della shook her head as tears spilled down her cheeks. “She wanted me to erase you from her memory,” she whispered. “She didn’t want to know you existed. She didn’t want even the meaningless memories of you.”
She wanted to forget me completely. Gods, that fucking tore me up inside. It felt like something inside me split open violently, like a wound that would never close.
“Tell me you didn’t, Dells,” I begged softly, my voice breaking around the edges.
“Of course not,” she said, voice breaking, “but she wasn’t happy about it. I’ve never seen her so angry and hurt. Her magic was suffocating mine. Her eyes turned black, and when I tried to comfort her, she left.”
I sank onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. My entire body felt heavy, like the universe itself was crushing me.
“What happened, Abe?” Della asked gently.
Silence wrapped around us. Finally, I let out a broken laugh. “We weren’t seeing each other… not at first,” I rasped. “She was trying to find a husband. All her options were shit, so she cast a spell, asking the moon and fate to bring her someone she could love.”
I lifted my gaze to them, shame and longing clawing at my chest. But so was anticipation of telling someone the truth.
“I never told Elowyn… but that night, I felt something. A pull. I heard her name whispered in the wind, like fate itself was calling me to her. I ignored it at first, thinking I’d lost my mind. But it didn’t stop. The whispers, the tug in my chest… it got so strong I couldn’t stay away.”
Della’s eyes widened. “Her spell called to you.”
“Yes.” I nodded, voice shaking. “Why would it do that if she isn’t my mate?”
“Maybe fate is still fucked up like it was for Della and me,” Haden said quietly.
I swallowed hard. “When I saw her standing there in a wedding dress… gods, the spell wasn’t keeping me there anymore. She was. It felt wrong to want her so badly when she wasn’t mine to keep. But at the same time… it felt right. Like fate put her in front of me for a reason.”
“You acted like you hated her,” Della whispered.
“She isn’t my mate. It felt like a betrayal to whoever my mate was.
But… after meeting Loma, I know I don’t want her.
And I…,” my voice cracked. “I don’t even remember most of yesterday after I met Loma.
I was supposed to go to Elowyn’s crowning for her to be sworn in as queen of the coven, and I missed it.
I would have never missed it. I came here yesterday to tell you about her.
I wanted to see if you knew a way to make it permanent. ”
“What do you mean you don’t remember yesterday?” Haden asked, frowning.
“When I got here, I was so excited to tell you both about Elowyn and me. I was looking forward to her crowning. Then I met Loma, and I tried to leave, but I couldn’t. The longer I sat there, the more it felt like I was forgetting something… until I didn’t remember anything at all.”
Della gasped softly. “Do you think it was Loma?”
“Well it sure as fuck wasn’t any of you.” I still felt so confused. “What was she doing at your house?”
Haden and Della shared a look before frowning in confusion. Gods, they looked like they didn’t know either.
“I actually don’t know,” Della whispered. “I remember talking to her about artifacts, but I don’t know how she found us.”
“Artifacts?” I asked sharply.
“Yeah… Oh, gods.” Della looked at me. “The Sword of Wern, the Mirror of Vesmal, and the Bow of Blythe.”
I froze, dread creeping down my spine.
“That’s what she was here for?” I stood abruptly. “I need to figure out what the hell is going on. Something about all of this feels wrong.”
“What do you want us to do?” Haden asked.
“I don’t know. I need to find Elowyn first.” She needs to know that I love her.