Chapter 5
It was good to be back with the family, but Lizzie had struggled to fall asleep the previous night with so much on her mind.
The impending mission monopolised her thoughts, and it was impossible to relax.
She was always like this before an operation, but it didn’t make it any easier.
Finally, she fell into an uneasy slumber and dreamt Jack was frantically searching for her in Berlin.
An intense sadness washed over her as she lay there, her head on the pillow and her eyes closed, wondering whether she might get another hour’s sleep. But it was not to be. The feeling gripped her even though she could think of no reason for it.
Her eyes flickered open as dawn broke and the muted winter light filtered through the blackout blinds and floated across the park.
She looked around her familiar bedroom and felt a rush of nostalgia.
This house wasn’t her family home like Seagrove in Jersey, but it was a close second, and she would be sorry to leave it.
When she slept in this bedroom, she could almost pretend she was still an innocent young girl with nothing to fear, as she had been before the war broke out and the SOE recruited her.
Briefly her memories flitted back to earlier that year when she had infiltrated Jersey and stolen a few hours with her grandparents.
The Nazis had requisitioned the Beaumont family residence, and Lizzie steered her thoughts to safer ground.
It was too unsettling to start the day worrying about her grandparents, and no good could come of it.
She had to just hope they were hanging in there and would make it to the end of the war when the Allies would liberate the Channel Islands.
If she let herself imagine any other outcome, she would be frozen in fear all day, just when she needed to be most alert to make her final preparations for Berlin.
Lizzie went down for an early breakfast, but her father had beaten her to it and was already reading his newspaper at the table.
‘Morning, darling. How did you sleep?’ he asked, sipping his tea.
Lizzie rubbed her bleary eyes. ‘Morning, Pa. Not as well as I would have liked. I had some strange dreams.’
Pa lowered his voice almost to a whisper. ‘It’s only to be expected in the circumstances.’
They switched topics as Violet buzzed in and out, serving breakfast, and Evie and Juliet arrived at the table.
‘It’s lovely to have you home with us, Liz,’ said Evie, her copper curls bouncing as she reached for a piece of toast and smeared it with delicious homemade jam. ‘Seems like we barely see you these days.’
Rose, the girls’ mother, who had been helping prepare breakfast, sat down and poured them more tea. ‘Hear, hear. They work you to the bone. You need a good rest.’
Lizzie thanked her mother for the tea and met her concerned gaze. ‘That brings me to some important news. I didn’t have time to tell you yet, as it’s been so busy at work, but I’ve been transferred to Birmingham for a while.’
‘Not again!’ Ma exclaimed, her cup pausing in midair, her forehead creasing into a frown. ‘Surely they can send someone else this time.’
Lizzie couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Ma, they do send someone else lots of the time. You seem to think I’m running the whole organisation!’
‘Hmm, well,’ Ma said, grumbling.
Pa reached for his wife’s hand. ‘It’s wartime, my dear. You know everyone must do their bit, and for some it requires greater sacrifice than others.’
Rose’s eyes shone, and Lizzie knew she was thinking of her son Archie, who was away fighting.
‘It’s alright, Ma. You needn’t worry. I’ll be fine and will be back before you know it,’ she said, hiding her emotions from her family in the way she had learnt to do.
‘I miss you all when I’m away, but I quite enjoy the change of scene.
And it’s good to feel useful in these times.
We can’t leave it all to the men now, can we? ’
Ma sniffed, and Evie changed the subject. ‘I’m out tonight after work, so don’t wait up for me.’
‘Goodness me, we barely see you these days, either. Out dancing again with your GI, I suppose?’ Ma said.
Lizzie was relieved Evie had taken the heat off her and threw a grateful grin at her baby sister. Evie had trained as a nurse and found her true vocation as well as what might be her true love. They had been walking out for some time now, as her mother called it in a slightly disapproving tone.
‘Be careful, please, and make sure your American Romeo walks you home right to the door,’ Ma said. Turning her attention back to Lizzie, she asked when she would leave for her new assignment.
Lizzie explained she didn’t have the exact date yet, but it would probably be in the coming week. After breakfast, Lizzie dressed hurriedly in her FANY uniform, and then cut through the park. She walked to Baker Street so she could have some time alone to think through the details of her mission.
As she crossed Regent’s Park, which looked barren now winter had taken a firm hold, she wondered what Berlin would be like.
Her heart hammered at the thought of going undercover in what many called the most dangerous city in the world.
Soon she would be reunited with Hannah, and the plan was they would live together again.
In Paris they had pretended to be sisters, and this time they would be sisters-in-law.
Lizzie was relieved she would have Hannah’s company and not have to face life in Germany alone.
At her desk in Val’s office, she sorted through the reports that had come in overnight.
When she arrived in the building, she had popped her head into Jack’s office, but he wasn’t there, which was unusual.
She missed him when she stayed at Regent’s Park, but there were only so many times she could say she was on the night shift.
Her mother had eyes in the back of head, and it was a miracle she didn’t realise the truth already.
Lizzie was tired of hiding her work and her love for Jack from her family, but even now Val knew, they still had to keep their relationship a secret.
By lunchtime, Lizzie had started to worry about Jack.
No one seemed to know where he was, so she pulled her coat on and hurried out.
The temperature had dropped, and it was freezing outside now that the rain had passed.
Extracting her key from her pocket, she opened the door and let herself into the silent flat.
Wandering into the bedroom, she saw the curtains were drawn and there was a sleeping figure in the bed.
‘Darling,’ she said, touching Jack’s shoulder gently. ‘What’s going on? It’s lunchtime and everyone’s wondering where you are.’
Jack shot up in bed, his shiny black hair tousled and his voice thick with sleep. ‘Oh damn, I overslept. I only meant to grab an hour this morning before coming in.’
‘Why didn’t you sleep last night?’ Lizzie asked.
Jack raised his sad eyes to Lizzie. ‘Henry is missing in action. He was shot down over Stuttgart.’