Chapter 11
Jack was in a dark place. He always found it tough when Lizzie went away, but this time it was worse than ever.
Since the telegram arrived with the dreadful news about Henry being missing in action, his mother was suffering an emotional breakdown and barely functioned without the help of sedation.
Their family doctor was frequently at their home, and Jack went over most days, but his mother who had so valiantly fought to keep going after their father’s early death when Jack and Henry were young boys, seemed to have given up on life.
It crushed Jack’s soul to see her like that.
No matter how he tried or what he said, he couldn’t seem to get through to her.
She either slept or stared out the window, refusing to respond to him, Elise, and even the good doctor.
On top of trying to keep himself afloat amidst the waves of deep despair he experienced about his brother being shot down in Germany, his mother’s condition was even harder to face.
He felt helpless and longed to go into Germany to search for Henry, but that of course would be plain stupid, and Val would never sign off on it.
He sat in his office, staring blankly out the window much like his mother, smoking yet another cigarette and wishing the days would pass quicker until Lizzie returned.
Jack was empty and when he lay his head on the pillow in the big bed in his quiet flat at night, he missed her so much it was like a physical ache in his chest. He would lie there unable to sleep, his mind whirring furiously like a machine, his thoughts flitting from Lizzie to Henry and then to his heartbroken mother.
Jack had never felt so useless and after several days of sinking further into this pit of despair, Val called him into her office.
‘How are you holding up?’ she asked, twirling a pencil in her fingers as she studied his face.
‘I’m fine,’ he said.
‘You don’t seem fine,’ she said. ‘You look like a man whose brother was shot down in Germany and whose fiancée has gone on possibly her most lethal mission of the war.’
‘Oh, don’t sugarcoat it just for me,’ Jack said, raising one dark eyebrow, the whisper of a sardonic smile playing on his lips.
‘Sit the hell down,’ Val said, who wasn’t known for sugarcoating anything. ‘I wish I could wave a magic wand and bring Henry back, but unfortunately I can’t.’
Jack lit another cigarette and plumes of smoke danced over his head as he studied her. ‘What do you want me to do?’
‘How do you know I want you to do anything?’ she asked, still twirling her pencil.
‘Because you never call me in here just for a chat, and to be honest if that was your pep talk, then I wouldn’t bother with another one!’
They smiled sadly at each other. They had witnessed so much tragedy and lost so many valiant agents in operations in France that they had become almost immune to death.
But this was even closer to home. This was Jack’s brother, and neither of them had lost a family member in the war.
Jack saw that Henry’s disappearance had affected Val too. He watched her place the pencil down on the desk and raise her eyes to his again.
‘I can only imagine what you’re going through and with Lizzie away too.’ She shook her head. ‘I wanted to say I’m sorry and if there’s anything I can do, let me know.’
Jack walked across the room to the window and gazed out at the dome of St. Paul’s on the distant skyline.
It was a sunny winter’s day with a crisp blue sky and fluffy clouds which looked like whipped cream on a cake.
It was cold but inviting, and if Lizzie were there, they would have snook out for a walk.
As it was, he would work through to nighttime and probably not even bother stopping for lunch.
He had no appetite and was fuelling up on coffee and cigarettes.
‘How long did you know about me and Lizzie?’ he asked, his voice a low growl.
On Val’s instruction they had agreed to continue to keep their engagement a secret. It didn’t bother him too much because he wasn’t one to share his feelings. Lizzie, however, would have liked to be honest with her family and stop sneaking around, as she called it.
‘Lizzie asked me the same thing, and I’ll give you the same answer. You two seemed to have forgotten you’re not the only spies around here.’
Jack swivelled to face her. ‘Since the beginning, then?’
‘It depends when the beginning was. Let’s just say, the change in you was hard to miss. You used to walk around like a bear with a sore head. Lizzie is good for you, which is why I didn’t come down harder on you both and turned a blind eye. It may surprise you to hear but I’m a romantic at heart.’
Jack furrowed his brow. ‘Well, you never fail to surprise me. And now we’ve got that out of the way, tell me what it is you want me to do.’
Val pulled a thick file onto the desk and gestured for him to sit before flipping it open to reveal some top-secret reports.
‘What do we have here?’ he asked, pleased to have something to distract himself from his woes.
‘These are from X Section. You and Lizzie have done a formidable job in setting up the systems to support our French networks. They can manage without you for now, but we’re both on hand if they need us.
I thought, as you’ve been looking into leaks in our networks you could investigate Germany’s too.
Your attention is clearly on Berlin, so this is a good time to delve deeper into the workings of X Section.
Try and find out why things have repeatedly gone so bloody pear shaped over there.
’ She pushed the thick file towards him.
Jack scooped it up and stood.
‘Get to work. I want to know the whats, whys and whos of their failed operations. They have had the same resources as F Section to make a go of things, so why have they failed so spectacularly?’
Jack laid his hand on the folder. ‘You make an interesting point. I hadn’t thought of it like that.’
‘You’ve always had an investigator’s nose. That’s what made you such a success in Military Intelligence from the outset.’
Jack was drawn in immediately. ‘What do you want me to look for specifically?’
‘We have our best women risking their lives in Berlin as we speak. I want you to find out as much as you can about what they’re up against and what could go wrong.’
They talked for a while longer, and then Jack returned to his office, a fresh coffee in one hand and the heavy file in the other. He sat down with a renewed sense of purpose and spread the contents onto his desk.
God bless Val. She always had his back.