Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
FAITH
My second graders were dressed in Santa hats and flannel. The Christmas music program was starting in twenty minutes, and Danny was struggling.
“I forgot my Santa hat!” Danny wailed.
“Danny, that’s fine. I brought extra in case anyone needed one.” I grabbed one of my extras and set it on his desk.
“I don’t want that one, I want mine!” Tears streamed down his face as he picked up the hat and chucked it across the room.
“Danny. We don’t throw things in this classroom. That’s enough.” I took a deep breath.
He rushed under his desk and folded his arms, refusing to look at me or anyone else.
“Danny, everyone else is willing to compromise. Landon forgot his hat, and he is fine with using an extra.”
He spun away from me. “I don’t want Dad to be mad that I wasted his money.”
My eyebrows creased. “Danny, I’m sure your dad doesn’t care that you forgot your hat.”
“Yes, he does. He will be mad.”
If I hadn’t interacted as much as I had with Adam, I would’ve been worried. “Danny, come on. Please, just wear the hat.” I crouched down under the desk near him.
“It could have germs. Do you want me to get sick and die?” He turned his body away from me.
I rolled my eyes. “Danny, this hat is clean. I just bought it.”
“How do you know? You can’t see germs.”
I exhaled slowly and rubbed my forehead. “Okay, how about you come without the hat then?”
“No, I’m not going without it. You can’t make me.” He shook his head.
Danny was such a sweet boy, but changing his mind once it was set was something I didn’t have the patience or ability for right now.
“I will not sit here and argue with you, Danny. We are going to go down to the lunchroom in ten minutes. I really hope you decide to come with us.” I stood and walked toward my desk.
“Can’t you text my dad and ask him to bring it?” Danny asked.
I looked over my shoulder at Danny. Proud, angry, defiant. What was really going on with him today? “Sure, I can text him, but there is no guarantee he will see it before the performance.”
Danny nodded and turned away from me.
I sighed. “All right, class, you have ten minutes to finish your letter to Santa. Please make sure you use your best writing and draw a picture in the box above.”
I picked up my phone and scrolled down to my messages with Adam.
We had been texting a little, but it had been only a very friend-zone vibe since I had decided not to go over to decorate trees.
Even though every part of me wanted to run into Adam’s arms when I saw him, I was sure space was for the best.
Faith: Hey Adam, Danny forgot his Christmas hat today and is refusing to go to the music performance without it or use one of mine. He was curious if you had his hat? I inserted a fingers-crossed emoji and hit send.
Danny reached up and grabbed his paper off his desk and vigorously scribbled all over it until his pencil ripped through the page.
He grabbed the paper and crumpled it into a ball.
Was it because he was struggling with his letter to Santa with his brace?
I tried to talk to him about it and offer help. He told me he didn’t want my help.
My phone vibrated, and there was a text from Adam.
Adam: Getting someone to cover my PE class early. On my way.
My stiff shoulders relaxed. I wasn’t sure what else to do. I messaged back a quick thank you and focused on the rest of the class.
“All right, everyone write your names on your papers and bring them up to the basket, please. It’s almost time to line up.”
The kids handed in their papers and then went back to their tables. I looked at Danny, who was still not making eye contact and was crumpling his paper tighter and tighter. It was almost time to go, but I wasn’t sure what to do.
I checked my watch and spun my ring. “Everyone grab your Santa hats and line up, please.”
Lydia stood and made the way to the front of the line. She was the line leader today and proudly stood at the front.
“Mason, your shoes are untied, and Caleb, hands to ourselves, please.” I sighed.
The door opened, and I turned to see Adam filling the entire doorway. His eyes searched the room and landed on me, and I gestured toward Danny. When he noticed Danny sitting under his desk, there was immediate sadness and exhaustion in his gaze.
The kids in the line had started fighting over space. “Okay, class, I am going to put Rudolph on, and I want everyone to practice the lyrics one last time.” I pushed play on the video on my phone. The music started, and I made my way toward Adam crouched near Danny.
Danny openly cried as Adam held him and rubbed his back. Adam sighed and shook his head. It was as if he held the entire world up on those big shoulders, and he was collapsing under the weight.
“Can I help with anything?” I squatted down near them. Danny pressed harder into Adam’s chest.
I think I was causing Danny more stress. I handed Adam the extra hat. “Here’s an extra hat that he is welcome to wear if he wants.”
Adam nodded and took the hat. He looked down at Danny. “He thinks he has been bad and Santa won’t bring him a present because I got frustrated with him this morning.” Adam whispered as his strong shoulders dropped.
Parenting looked so difficult sometimes.
I gave Adam a small smile. “Hang in there. You’re doing better than you think.
” I patted Danny’s shoulder and headed back to the line.
I checked my watch again. We were out of time.
I sighed. “All right, class, quiet coyotes.” Several kids held up their hands and made the shape for the quiet coyote.
“Danny, your dad has a hat for you. I need to take the class to the gym for the performance, but we don’t sing first, and I would love it if you would join us once you feel comfortable. ”
Danny’s head stayed pressed against Adam’s chest.
“Okay, are we ready, class?” I checked my little line. “Mason.” His brown eyes met mine, his hand up ready to tug Lydia’s hair. “Hands to our sides, please.” He slapped his hand back to his side and away from Lydia’s pony tail.
“Teacher. I don’t want to leave Danny.” Lucy’s big doe eyes looked up at me from the line. “He is sad.”
Several others joined in.
“Yeah!”
“Me too.”
I was so proud of my little class. “I appreciate your kindness, and Danny does too. We’re going to give Danny a few minutes to regulate, but hopefully, he will join us soon.” I opened the door and gave Adam a little wave, and led the way down the hallway.
I really hoped Danny felt better in time. He loved music, and they even added a bit of Frosty because he wouldn’t stop begging the music teacher, Mrs. Jolly.
In the gym, my class sat on our section of the bleachers and waited as Jessica’s second-grade and two first-grade classes filled the space.
I’d tried to implement some collab stuff with Jessica the first two years, since we both teach second grade, but everything always felt awkward and forced.
We also approached class management so differently, I eventually decided it was best to just do my own thing.
I checked my watch. It would all start in a few minutes. I glanced toward the hallway we had entered from.
Nothing.
I sat in the front row of folding chairs set up for the audience, with empty chairs on either side of me.
The other teachers and parents filled the space.
My class searched out their parents and waved, their red Santa hats flopping with the effort.
Parents stepped into the aisles to take closer pictures.
Mrs. Jolly raised her hand and pointed at the students with the bells, and tinkling filled the room as the first-grade class started sing-screaming Jingle Bells.
Jessica, the other second-grade teacher and Adam’s I-don’t-even-know-what, plopped down on my right and plugged her ears without being obvious.
I gave her a small wave, but she didn’t return the gesture.
She raised her eyebrows and shifted away from me.
Ouch. Got it. Not feeling friendly. Maybe I should ask Adam about him and Jessica.
I checked over my shoulder for Danny and Adam.
Still nothing. I spun my ring. Come on, Danny, you’ve got this.
The next first-grade class stood and started their group of songs.
I turned to see Danny and Adam walking in from the hall. I could barely hold back my cheer of joy. Danny was wearing a Santa hat and skipping next to Adam; both of their gazes were on me.
I stood and met them partway. “Oh! Danny, I’m so happy you made it in time.” I gave his shoulders a little squeeze. “Our class isn’t complete without you.”
Danny met my eyes. His bright eyes were red as he rubbed his nose on his sleeve. Eye contact was a win, and I would take it as such. “Here, let me walk up with you to our class when this class is done with this song.” I nodded toward the stage.
After Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, I walked with Danny to the front and pointed to his spot next to Mason.
“Danny!” Several of his classmates cheered his arrival and made room for Danny to find his spot. I reminded them to be quiet. Danny sat in his spot, and I made my way back toward the audience. Adam was leaning against the wall, watching his son. I stood next to him.
“Thank you so much for your help with Danny today.” I sighed. “I was so worried I was going to have to leave him in the classroom or force him to come screaming and crying.”
Adam grunted. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” His shoulders dropped and he ran a hand down his face. He had dark bags under his eyes. I wondered if he wasn’t sleeping well.
The first grade finished their songs, and my second-grade class stood. I pointed at the two empty chairs in the front row.
“There’s an extra seat by me if you want.” I gestured.
“Sure. Thanks.”
I made my way back to my chair, and Jessica noticed Adam behind me and patted the chair I had been sitting in previously.
I stopped walking.
What do I do now? I looked at Adam and the tight smile on his face.