Chapter 4
Four
Bex
Now this is exactly what my body needs. Hot water soothes my aching muscles and quiets my anxious thoughts. I lean against the curved rim of the tub and savor the heat, my bones and muscles already aching less after three days on horseback.
Steam rises, and I breathe it in. The copper tub is much like the one Levi splurged on for our home, only longer, and wide enough that it could probably fit another person.
“Feels good, right?” Nina asks while looking at me through the mirror affixed to the wall just over the dressing table.
A small wood-burning stove heats the room, and the bucket of water is set on top, ready in case I need more hot water.
“This is nice,” I admit. “There sure are a lot of modern amenities for being so isolated.” Something else I first noticed after Maureen showed us to our room.
My gaze drifts from my sister over to the corner of the room where a large water pump sits on a base made of the thinnest stone I’ve ever seen.
Resting my head back against the curved rim of the tub, I stare up at the ceiling.
Our room is on the third floor, and they’ve built a loft area up into the rafters.
We don’t have access to it, so who knows what’s up there.
There’s a beautifully crafted four-post double bed, perfect for both Nina and me to sleep in tonight.
The room also has a three-drawer dresser with a ceramic washbasin and pitcher, a small bookcase full of old books, and the dressing table where Nina sits.
The only thing we can’t figure out is a locked door next to the main entrance.
“I’m pleasantly impressed with all the amenities in this room,” Nina admits, shifting in her seat at the dressing table and holding the silver hairbrush in her lap.
Her braids are unbound, letting pale blonde hair fall in waves over her shoulders.
“And now that it’s clear we aren’t a threat, I’ve got a good feeling about this place.
We may actually learn a thing or two about surviving out here. ”
“A good feeling, huh?” I ask.
She nods, brushing her hair.
“What about that strange power you felt earlier outside? The one coming from underground?”
“I don’t know what that was. A fluke, most likely.
My gifts aren’t perfect. The winds speak to me, but I don’t get those sensing feelings very often on the farm.
” Her gaze drifts aside. “Not like I used to, back when I was—” she stops herself.
She rarely talks about her childhood in the Northern Glacic Territory, not even to me.
Sliding along the bottom of the copper tub, I rest my elbows on the edge and prop my chin on the warm metal. “What do you remember of this place back when you escaped the north? You told me once you’d been to these parts after your escape.”
Her gaze drifts from me to the hairbrush in her hand. She slowly starts running it through her hair, and for a moment I think I’ll get the same answer she always gives: I don’t remember exactly.
“You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Her voice is low, as if she’d be okay with me not hearing her response.
But I do want to know. “Try me. What happened?”
“Bad things, judging by the screams that echoed through the night. During the day, all was quiet, an easy journey, just like it was when we were riding through it earlier today. But once the sun sets, it gets real dark out there, especially if there’s little to no moonlight.
You can’t even see your own hands right in front of your face.
” Nina turns to face the mirror again, still brushing her hair, and continues “I hid most nights, barely moving a muscle, hoping whatever was out there causing all that screaming didn’t find me.
And then one morning, right after sunrise, I felt the pull of something.
It wasn’t the whispering wind, but something different.
And I trusted it, and it led me to the edge of the Graveyard Territory. ”
“Something was watching out for you, that’s for sure,” I say, happy her story wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Hearing those screams is bad, but thank the stars she didn’t witness any of the horrors she was hearing.
She seems lost in her thoughts, and guilt rises in me for bringing up the past. Wanting to shift her mood, I say, “Hey, I’m sorry about lying to you about the message.”
And that does it. The concerned look consuming her shifts to an annoyed, pinched one. “Yeah, well, you should’ve told me the truth. And you should’ve shown me what’s going on with your arm.”
“It’s actually more than just my arm. It’s everywhere. My whole damn body.”
“Language!” Nina spins in her seat to face me, scolding me like when we were young. Her gaze narrows and she sets the brush down before approaching me. “Hey, what’s that on your back?”
I move my shoulder so she can get a better look, unsure if maybe I scratched or bruised myself somehow.
She gasps and I take in her wide-eyed expression.
“What? What is it?” I ask, trying to look myself, but I can’t see anything past the top of my shoulder.
Her finger trails over my skin, outlining something in the center of my back. “Bex, it looks like someone branded you.”
“Branded me!” I almost jump up out of the tub, but before I can Nina goes over to the dressing table and pulls out a handheld mirror from the drawer. She hands it to me, and I hold it at an angle so I can see the mark she’s talking about.
“What on earth is that?”
“It’s a brand!” she reiterates and moves in closer. “It looks old, scarred over like you’ve had it for years.”
I lower the mirror. “We both know I’ve never had a brand or a scar on my back.” Lifting it up again, I look in the reflection at the mark. It’s a circle with an upside-down triangle in the middle, and the top part of the triangle is more center than across the top.
“It looks like an upside-down A, if you ask me,” Nina states.
I look again, and she’s right. It’s not an upside-down triangle but an upside-down A. “What does it mean?”
“How am I supposed to know? You’re the one with the brand!” She takes the mirror and returns it to the drawer. Then crossing her arms over her chest, she offers me an answer. “Maybe it has something to do with whatever’s happening to your body. This dustslinger stuff.”
I groan out a sigh and rest back against the tub.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
We both go silent and look at the door. Nina answers, only cracking the door open enough to greet whoever it is, making sure they don’t have a view of me in the tub. I duck lower below the rim, just in case they can see inside the room.
A man’s muffled voice floats in, and after she closes the door, I ask, “Who was that?”
“It was that handsome man who greeted us on the street earlier. Garret, I believe was his name. He said supper is about ready.” She sits on the edge of the four-post bed and asks, “You wouldn’t have noticed how handsome he was too, by any chance?”
“Nina, please! I know you feel it’s your new purpose in life to keep me company after I lost my husband, and I’m grateful for that. Truly, I think that’s all I’ll ever need is your company. I have no desire to commit to a man.”
“First of all, thank you for your kind words. And second, maybe one day I’ll find the right man and settle down. Then what? You’ll be all alone on that farm of yours.”
“I doubt it!” I tease, smiling. “You set the bar so high, I don’t know who’d ever measure up.
” Nina feigns a hurt expression, pressing a hand to her heart.
I soften my voice. “You know I want the best for you, and I do hope you find that special someone you can love and grow old with. I’m just a little selfish in wanting you around for a bit longer. ”
She works her fingers through her hair, braiding one side of her hair. “I know you loved Levi, but he’s gone. And you’re still young, just starting your adulthood. Don’t give up on finding another to love. Okay?”
I nod. It’s the best I can offer. Then I offer her another side of my reasoning, and say, “Our life isn’t here.
It’s back on our farm. So, even if a certain handsome man were available, his life is here.
Why would he leave this place? So, no more talking about finding love, all right?
Not while we’re out here in Graveyard Territory. ”
“Fine.” Then a wide smile spreads on her face as she sits on the edge of the bed.
“But you admit…he is a handsome man.” After tying the end of her braid, she gets to work on the other one.
“I know what he said outside earlier was inappropriate, but I have to admit, the idea of slapping in a playful manner had me curious.”
“Nina!” I’m completely taken aback by her confession, which is so unlike her usual behavior. “I’ll admit no such enjoyment. I’ve gone four years without a man, and I don’t need to depend on one now. So, if you don’t mind heading down to supper, and leaving me to my bath? I’ll follow shortly.”
We both chuckle. My sister and I weren’t always this close as youths. It’s only been during our adult years, after Levi’s death, that we’ve grown closer, which has made Nina more comfortable talking to me about her connection to the whispering winds.
After she finishes tying her second braid, she dumps the bucket of hot water from the stovetop into the tub, reviving the steam. Then she grabs a knitted shawl before leaving me to my indulging deeds.
It doesn’t take long for me to lose myself in the hot water.
My hands drift slowly back and forth under the surface, forcing the water to swirl around my body.
This may not be my tub, but it’s easy for me to fall into a familiar routine.
I let one hand sink into the water, caressing the inside of my leg, until my fingers reach a place I’ve tried hard to ignore.
Soft moans escape as I sink lower into the tub, my mouth dipping beneath the waterline to stifle the sound.
My other hand finds my breasts and caresses them one at a time, working in sync with the pleasure pulsing between my legs.
The tub has plenty of room, and I take full advantage of the space, lying back.
The room fades at the edges of my vision as I stare at the ceiling, my head floating just above the water.
All sound vanishes as water fills my ears.
I stay here, knees bent as my hands continue caressing and rubbing, giving my body a pleasurable numbness.
For the moment, I have no worries…no pains or heartaches… just internal bliss.
When satiated, I plunge my head under and stare up with my eyes open, looking at the world through the surface of my bathwater. Is this what it’s like to be a spirit in the afterlife, wandering about and observing the living? To see us as if looking through an altered window?
Pressure tightens my chest, and I force myself to push through it.
Can I endure pain? If what Maureen says is true, that this sand affliction is a gift and that I have a responsibility to fight and protect the innocent of this territory, I’ll have to learn more than just how to handle a little pain.
The pain intensifies, but I don’t surface.
I can do this. The burn in my lungs sharpens, and just as I’m ready to give in, hands suddenly grip my shoulders and haul me up.
I break the surface with a deep breath, sucking in air as I struggle to shove my assailant away.
Water burns beneath my ribs as I cough, spitting it from my lungs.
“Get away from me!” I shout between coughs, scrubbing water from my eyes.
“Oh my gods, I’m so sorry,” the man says, panic and embarrassment tangling his voice. “I thought you were drowning.”
My vision clears enough for me to see it’s Garrett. “Turn around!”
His blurred shape pivots instantly. “I knocked,” he says quickly. “You didn’t answer. I knocked again, and when you still didn’t respond, I thought something was wrong. So I—”
“You decided it was acceptable to enter someone’s bedroom uninvited?” I stand, crossing one arm over my breasts as I step from the tub and lunge for the towel on the bed. The jerk still manages a glance before I’m covered.
“My apologies, ma’am,” he says, sincere enough to contradict his earlier playful, suggestive behavior.
Heat floods my face as embarrassment and unease collide. I want him gone. “Why are you still here?”
“Right, sorry.” His boots pound against the floorboards as he rushes out of the room, practically slamming the door shut.
I follow and slide the locking bolt through two striking plates affixed to the door.
Catching my breath, I find the edge of the bed and sit, not caring about the heavy quilt getting wet.
My thoughts are all over the place. I’m furious that he entered my room without being invited in…
I’m furious that he saw my naked body…and more than anything, I’m furious at myself for not thinking I betrayed Levi.
That another man has seen parts of his wife that only he should see—but he can’t anymore.
He’s gone. He left me alone with so much life left to live.
“Dammit!” I curse under my breath. The thoughts racing through my mind are too overwhelming, and I can’t hold back the tears.
I don’t want to let Levi go, but this embarrassing moment makes me realize I have to stop worrying about hurting my late husband’s feelings.
I think it’s time to stop clinging to the past and be open to life’s possibilities.