Chapter Twelve #2
He silenced her with his kiss. She’d wanted this, she thought, as his firm mouth pressed against hers.
She’d wanted to be with him, just the two of them, in the dark, with no secrets between them.
He continued to hold her hair, as if he were afraid she would try to leave.
It was the farthest thing from her mind.
Her hands crept up his arms and around his neck.
She rubbed the hard strength of him, felt the ripple of his muscles as she kneaded his shoulders.
Yes, she thought, letting her eyes drift shut. This is what she’d waited for.
He angled his head so their mouths met more fully. Lips pressed. She leaned forward, encouraging him to take more. His free hand rested on her bare shoulder. His thumb stroked in slow circles, singeing her skin with his heated touch. But still their kiss remained chaste.
She pulled back so that she could look at him. The darkness that had been so kind and allowed them to share their secrets now kept her from reading his expression. Did he want her? Was she looking for something that didn’t exist?
“Adam?”
“After you left, I tried to figure out what it had been that had drawn me to you. Was it your hair?” He cupped her face with both hands, then drew his fingers through the strands at her temples and fanned them over her shoulders. She felt the curls as they were drawn across her skin.
“Like silk,” he said quietly. “Or was it your smile?” His thumb swept across her lips. “Was it the shape of your mouth or the size or the way the edges curve up even when you’re not smiling?” He touched each corner with his index finger. “Was it your body? The gawky picture you made in high heels?”
She didn’t move as he ran his hands up her thighs to her hips. Heat flared wherever he touched, and turned her blood to fire.
“Did I want you because you had no idea about what you were doing to me?” he asked. “Was it the innocence?”
His hands moved up to her waist. She caught her breath but he didn’t reach farther to soothe the ache. Her already hard nipples strained against her lacy bra. Her breasts throbbed in time with her rapid heartbeat.
“Or was it here?” He returned his hands to her face. “Inside. Was it your mind? Why were you the one?”
The control slipped away. She felt it flow out of him and disappear into the night.
They were lost, she realized. Lost in a cauldron of emotion.
Past and present blurred. The grayness of time overlapped until what had been and what was now had no distinction.
The flames continued to race through her, but with them came the pain.
As the fire burned away layers of facades, she was left with the sharp edges of her soul.
“Hold me,” she whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears. “Hold me tight.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her next to him. His heartbeat thundered in her ear. His breath fanned the hair that rested on her cheek. Without breaking their contact, he shifted on the sofa, sliding lower against the back corner, then easing her down until she nestled on top of him.
This felt right, she thought, loving the feel of his body against hers. His hard lines a contrast to her curves. Not even the sensation of his arousal pressing against her hip disturbed her. This was as it was supposed to have been.
“I don’t want to deal with the past anymore,” she said. “But I can’t seem to let it go.”
“Neither can I.”
She raised her head to look at him. “Help me. Let’s try to forget together.”
He stiffened. “Like this?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think that—”
“Don’t.” She shook her head. “Don’t think about it anymore. Please. You want me.” She rocked her hips and felt him strain against her.
“Tough to deny the obvious.”
“Then what is it?”
He stared at her. “How much of that girl remains? Are you doing this for me or for yourself?”
He wanted to know if she was still afraid, she realized. The stigma of what had happened nine years before stood between them, an almost uncrossable barrier of guilt and conscience.
She sat up and tossed her hair over her shoulder.
When he moved his head to follow the movement, she did it again.
Without saying a word, she rose and crossed to the parlor door, then closed it.
The clicking of the lock sounded loud in the still room.
Only their breathing filled the continuing silence.
She reached for the small floor lamp in the corner and flipped on the switch.
The sudden light made her blink. The look on Adam’s face made her heart stop.
Etched in the lines of his handsome face, desire and guilt battled for control.
Everything else faded as the primal emotions raged inside him.
She walked back to stand in front of the coffee table.
He sat up straight on the sofa. She could tell him not to feel guilty about the past. He wouldn’t listen.
Better to show him the truth. There had been a time when he had frightened her.
With her na?veté, she hadn’t thought she could ask him to go slower.
She wasn’t that child anymore. She was a woman, with a woman’s need.
She slipped her hands up through her hair and fanned it over her shoulders.
Slowly, so that he couldn’t mistake her meaning, she reached for the first button of her dress. She never made it to the second.
He crossed the few feet between them and gathered her into his arms. His mouth slanted across hers, pressing, seeking, probing as if she were his only lifeline. She parted her lips to admit him and he pushed his tongue inside.
Her hands clutched at his shoulders and back.
His hands pulled her closer. Their tongues mated, slipping together, circling, brushing back and forth, drawing sustenance from the contact.
She slipped her fingers through his hair.
The short strands teased the pads of her fingers.
His hands slid down to her derriere and gently squeezed her curves.
Fire licked through her. She strained to get closer, but he held their hips apart.
She punished him by forming an O around his tongue and sucking gently.
She felt more than heard the moan in his throat and instantly he ground his pelvis into hers.
The hard ridge of his desire pressed against her stomach. She raised on tiptoes to move it toward her needy center. He tore his lips away and took her ear lobe in his mouth. Even as he bent his knees to oblige her wish, he nibbled the sensitive skin.
The combination of sensations—his mouth trailing down her neck, his hands rubbing her derriere, his need rotating against the apex of her thighs—made her feel like screaming.
She spoke his name over and over again, as if the sound would save her from the coming storm. He raised his head and looked at her. She saw the question hovering in his eyes.
“Yes,” she said.
He straightened and reached for the front of her dress. His knuckles bumped her breasts as he worked the small buttons.
“Stupid design,” he muttered.
She reached under his hands and easily opened the front of his shirt. “You’re right.”
He stopped long enough to step out of his shoes and socks and pull the shirt free of his pants. She kicked off her sandals.
When he freed the last button, he drew the sundress off her shoulders.
Jane felt a flash of concern. She’d grown up in the last nine years, but not out.
Still, he’d known that before they got started here.
She squared her shoulders and shrugged out of the dress.
It paused at her hips. She gave a slight wiggle and it fell to the floor.
Adam’s shirt joined her dress. But instead of looking at her body, he stared into her eyes.
“You still doubt yourself,” he said, tracing the line of her jaw from her ear to her chin. “Hasn’t anyone taught you that you are exactly right?”
She shook her head.
“Then they were fools.”
This was probably the time to tell him that there hadn’t been a lot of men to do the teaching.
She’d dated some, in the nine years they’d been apart.
Some of those dates had included heavy petting.
But none of them had progressed to lovemaking.
At the time she’d blamed it on lack of chemistry or dealing with a toddler or being busy with school.
Now she wondered if it was because none of them was Adam.
He moved behind her. When she started to turn to face him again, he held her in place.
“Trust me,” he said.
He moved her hair off one shoulder. From the sweet spot behind her ear, down to her bra strap, he kissed her heated flesh.
Shivers racked her body, and her skin puckered.
He licked her shoulder, then moved back to gently bite her neck.
Her breasts swelled. Her nipples, already hard and eager for his touch, jutted out even more.
Her hands fluttered in front of her. She didn’t know where to put them.
She started to reach behind her, but he pushed her away.
“Not yet,” he murmured. “Trust me.”
Did she have a choice?
He drew his hands around her waist, then up.
She held her breath in anticipation. With one finger and his thumb, he released the front hook of her bra.
The white lace drew back, only to catch on her nipples.
The friction made her inhale sharply. He pulled at the straps until the garment slid down her arms and fell.
Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her back.
“Lean on me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to make your legs tremble and your body weak.”
That statement practically did the job for him, she thought as she sagged against him. His bare chest felt warm against her back. She rested her hands on his forearms and closed her eyes.
“Watch me,” he said, his mouth breathing the words into her ear. “Watch me touch you.”
She lowered her head to look.