Chapter 21
Brianna hadn’t slept. Not really.
She’d lain in her bed most of the night, eyes wide open in the dark, replaying Hayden’s words over and over until they frayed into threads she couldn’t piece back together.
Her chest ached in a dull, relentless way.
As though something essential had been carved out of her and left hollow.
Before this, she’d let herself imagine what life with Hayden might look like.
Quiet mornings over coffee, his laugh soft in their big country kitchen, his hand brushing hers as he passed her the feed buckets, him down on one knee asking her to marry him, bearing his children, growing old together.
She stupidly imagined all of it. And then there was the way he always looked at her lately, like she wasn’t just capable, but radiant, like she was his world, his everything.
Who had she been trying to kid – she hadn’t just been falling for him, she’d already fallen.
But now that glimmering image of what might have been had shattered into pieces too sharp to gather, too broken to ever repair.
It was the ache of losing something that hadn’t fully formed yet but had already wrapped itself around her heart.
And that kind of grief came with no rules, no roadmaps.
Only a deep, painful ache.
Biting back more tears, she curled into Sherlock, who’d been loyally at her side, and she buried her face in his ruff as she hugged him. ‘You’re my best friend, my confidant, my constant, buddy,’ she whispered as a few stubborn tears spilled, soaking into his coat. ‘Thank goodness for you.’
By mid-morning, she couldn’t take the stillness anymore.
The cottage, once her safe haven, felt too quiet.
Too full of echoes. She’d tried keeping busy by cleaning out the pantry, wiping down already clean benchtops, washing and folding laundry.
But none of it helped. The stillness pressed in.
Her thoughts just kept spiralling back to Hayden, to the look on his face, to the way her own heart had twisted when she’d walked away.
She’d glanced at her phone more than once, noticed a missed call and unread text from him, but she couldn’t bring herself to read them, to talk to him.
Her thumb had hovered over the message preview a few hours ago. Bri, please. I need to explain properly. You mean … but she’d locked the screen before the rest could load.
She wasn’t ready.
Not yet.
Molly would be working at the café, she knew that.
Back to full hours now that things had settled.
And after everything her dear friend had endured over the past few months, she didn’t want to burden her with this, not when Molly was only just regaining her own footing.
But she really needed to hear voices. Familiar ones.
Safe ones. So she picked up her phone and called her mum.
And as she quickly explained what had happened, there was one crack in her voice, and Nina’s tone shifted into full mother mode, gentle but steady, like a warm blanket wrapping tightly around her.
‘Sweetheart, breathe. I’ve got you,’ Nina said. ‘You’re allowed to feel hurt. You’re allowed to feel confused. But don’t close the door on someone just because you’re scared. The good ones, Bri, they don’t come around often. And I truly believe that Hayden’s one of the good ones.’
Brianna swallowed hard. ‘But how do I trust that?’
‘You don’t need to trust the whole road. Just the next step. If he’s still standing there when you look again, maybe that’s your sign.’
Before she could answer, another voice entered the line. Her dad.
‘Hey, kiddo,’ he said quietly. ‘Your mum put the phone on speaker, so I’ve heard everything. I know you’re hurting. And I know this feels like betrayal, but I’ve seen that man around you, and I’ve watched how he looks at you. He’d take a bullet for you. Christ knows, he nearly did for me.’
Brianna wiped at her teary cheek with the back of her hand.
‘You’ve built a damn fine life out there, Bri,’ Logan continued. ‘And maybe this is just part of that foundation shaking a bit before it settles stronger. You don’t have to decide today. But don’t run so fast you forget what brought you to here, to this very moment, to caring so much about Hayden.’
Brianna’s throat closed around a sob she refused to let out. ‘Thanks, Dad. Mum. I just, I didn’t see it coming.’
‘No one ever does, love,’ her mum whispered. ‘But you’re not alone in it. Remember that.’
‘We’re always here for you,’ Logan echoed. ‘And remember, sweetheart, we’re all human, and we can make really bad decisions at times, that we deeply regret later. I just know that this would be one of those times for Hayden.’
Brianna sniffed and let out a slow breath. ‘Yeah. Maybe it is. But it’s going to take time for me to work through this. And he needs to understand that.’
Nina’s voice came through the speaker again, gentle but steady.
‘Then let it take time, sweetheart, but don’t let pride build walls around a heart that love was trying to reach.
’ She sighed softly, as if considering her next words.
‘If he’s willing to wait for you, that tells you everything about the kind of man he is. ’
Brianna’s chin trembled. She swiped at another tear with her sleeve, exhaling shakily.
‘I do think he’s that kind of man,’ she murmured.
‘I think I started falling for him the moment he looked at me like I mattered, like I wasn’t just capable, but worth something.
Like I could be soft, and still strong. And now, I don’t know what to do with all of that. ’
There was a pause, and then Logan’s voice came through again, a little rough with emotion. ‘Then maybe you don’t have to do anything yet. Just let it sit. Let yourself breathe. If it’s meant to last, it’ll hold.’
Brianna nodded, even though they couldn’t see her. Her heart still hurt, but there was a small warmth threading through the ache now, like a tether to love. ‘I’m not saying I’m ready to forgive him,’ she said quietly. ‘But I certainly don’t hate him and never could.’
‘That’s a start,’ Nina whispered.
‘It is, Mum, thank you.’
‘Of course, love, anything we can do to help.’
‘I love you both,’ Brianna whispered. ‘So very much.’
‘We love you too, darling,’ Nina said. ‘To the moon and back.’
‘Always and forever, Bri,’ Logan added, gently.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow, okay,’ Brianna said, trying to gather her emotions so she could deal with them. ‘Bye for now.’
‘Okay, bye-bye, sweetheart.’ And then the line clicked off.
Brianna sat in the quiet for a moment longer, then finally rose to her feet. The kettle went on. She made herself a toasted sandwich she barely tasted, just something to settle the heaviness in her chest. Then she reached for her phone again. This time, she rang her best friend.
Tilly listened, and didn’t ask questions. Then she just said, ‘I’m coming.’
And twenty minutes later, her troop carrier turned into the gravel drive. She pulled up, climbed out, and walked with purpose up the front path. Brianna opened the door before she could knock. Tilly took one look at her and stepped forwards, arms open.
And Brianna crumbled.
It was the kind of cry that didn’t shake her body but soaked through her like rain into dry earth while Tilly held her, steady and warm, whispering nothing but being everything.
And in that hug, Brianna found a strength she hadn’t known she still had.
Then they sat together on the couch, two mugs of coffee between them.
Sherlock pressed close at Brianna’s feet, his fluffy head resting on her knee like an anchor.
Outside, the afternoon was quiet, warm with the hush of cicadas and rustling leaves.
The tropical breeze stirred the curtains at the window, carrying the scent of fresh gum and the soft promise of rain far off.
Brianna traced her thumb over the handle of her mug, grateful for Tilly’s presence, for the silent warmth of Sherlock leaning in, for the gentle reminder that she wasn’t as alone as she’d thought.
A kookaburra cackled from the clothesline – a sound so familiar it almost cracked her open all over again.
She sucked in a shuddering breath, steadying herself, feeling Tilly’s steady presence beside her.
Tilly took a slow sip from her coffee, then glanced at Brianna. ‘Are you still thinking of coming tonight?’ she asked gently.
Brianna looked down into her own cup. ‘I don’t know. Part of me wants to.’
‘But?’ Tilly looked hopeful.
‘But I’m scared I’ll fall apart again. That I’ll say something I regret. Or worse, that I’ll see him and forgive him too easily.’
Tilly smiled, but it was a soft, sad thing. ‘Forgiving isn’t weak, Bri. It’s brave. But you don’t owe anyone that until you’re ready.’
‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,’ Brianna whispered.
‘You will be. When you’ve let all of this tumble and settle into an organised pile, and not a second before. And if tonight’s not that time, that’s okay too.’
Brianna nodded, but something in her chest shifted. A small glimmer of hope. Of a maybe.
She wished she could let this hurt slip from her shoulders, wished she could open her heart and run back to the softness of what she and Hayden had started to build.
Because she wanted him. All of him. Now, and always.
That truth was a pulse inside her, steady and impossible to ignore.
She looked towards the window, towards the trees that lined the edge of Sweetwater, and pictured him over the other side of the distance, working with his horses, showing them love, respect, kindness.
She pictured his laugh, the way his eyes softened when they landed on her, and she knew she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want it.
All of it. She wanted him in her life. Forever.
But that was easier said than done, too.
She didn’t know if she was brave enough to let the walls come down.
Not yet anyway.
But what if she never truly could?
* * *